Rob and Stacey Come for Dinner

Sarah: John I'm going up to have my shower now. Will you lay the table, put the glasses out and fold the napkins. Oh and also put the flowers on the table – they're on the draining board.

John: Ok fine – just leave enough hot water for me, will you

Sarah: And put the wine coasters on the table...

John: It's only your bloody brother and his wife coming over – not the bloody Queen Mother

Sarah: Just do it will you, Stacey always puts on a good show.

John: You're not kidding there, hon

Sarah: What was that...

John: Nothing – maybe we should use your new silver place names

Sarah: Good idea, that'll be a good laugh

Shower effect

John:mutters Place names, just for the four of us. Must put on a good show. For fucks sake, is it a competition or a dinner party. Not to worry , Stacey your sweet little arse will be on my left, Rob can be opposite you and Sarah sweetheart, you can be opposite me as far away as possible.

Clatter, lays table and whistles away

John: Sarah

Shower effect

John:shouts Sarah, you out the bloody shower yet?

Sarah; Nearly done come up and pass me a towel

Footsteps up the stairs

Sarah; John, the towel, where is it?

John: I'm just here come on out, and get it

Sarah: John, we haven't got time for your games, they'll be here in three quarters of an hour.

John: Ok – I'm holding it up for you – out you come

Sarah: Thank you about time too

Kissing

Sarah: No John, leave off. Let go of me, we need to get ready.

John: Can't we ever do anything when I want

Sarah: Piss off John , don't start that all up again. I'm not a performing Seal – pick your moments better. Now get in the shower.

Shower effect

Sarah: And don't wank all over the tiles either.Mutters pathetic creature

Doorbell rings followed by mutual hugs and greetings, chit chat

Sarah: John gets the drinks – Rob and Stacey are dying of thirst here.

Stacey: Yes John, move your fucking arse and get me a drink will you?

Rob: I'm afraid John, Stacey's already started before we left home.

John: We know Stacey by now, a right load of trouble, right Stacey

Sarah: Shut up John, leave my nice sister in law alone.

Stacey: Well, I confess we had a quick session before we came out – drink that is –

Giggles

Rob: That's all we do, have a drink...

Sarah: Okay, stop it now. We have enough troubles of our own, thank you very much.

Stacey: How about some music?

Sarah: Good idea. John, how about some Katie Melua

John: Sounds good to me, where is she?

Laughter

John: Actually Sarah, how about something much more appropriate, how about some Iron Maiden?

Sarah: Fuck off John and put fucking CD into the machine, while I get the dinner out of the oven.

Stacey: Well John, do as you're fucking told then, stick it in...or shall I do it for you?

Katie does her worst

Sarah: Ok folks, if you would like to make your way into the dining room, dinner will be served.

Rob: Wow table looks impressive wine rack, candles, silver service and even place names. Wonder what they've got planned here, eh Stace?

Stacey: Group Sex if John got anything to do with it. Right John

John: Wrong Stacey. Just sit down here beside me and be that nice good girl, that we all know you're not.

Stacey: Yummy, lovely starter Sarah – you haven't made this for us before, have you?

Sarah: No it's a new recipe – John bought me a dinner party cookbook for my birthday.

Rob: Exciting gift John, how ever did you think of it?

Stacey: Leave him alone Rob – what did you buy me for my last birthday?

Rob: That would be about the time you were walking out on me, right?

Sarah: Could everybody just pipe down – I spent 2 hours making this dinner and it'd appreciate it if you would all stop bickering and appreciate my exemplary culinary skills.

Chit chat prevails

John: More wine Stacey?

Stacey: Fill me up John and don't you let me dry up –if you take my point

John: Same old Stacey, full of twists and turns.

Rob: No she says exactly what she means.

John: You're a dark one Stace

Stacey: Not really John, I just don't like to waste time. Life is too short for that. By the way, is that your leg or the table leg.

John: Well Stacey as you full know, the table leg is wooden and mine are made of flesh and bone just like yours...

Stacey: Really, but one needs to be sure... I mean you could have a wooden leg, right.

John: No really it's fine

Stacey: It pays to check these things out

John: Stacey, okay enough now, take your hand off my thigh, right now

Stacey: Or what?

John: Just take it away okay and behave or else?

Stacey: Sorry need to delve deeper. Hmmm... what's this, John, another table leg?

John:Whispers Stacey, for fucks sake stop it, or...

Stacey: Or what are you going to do John, or should I call you Dick

John: Don't do that ... Stop it. If Sarah sees this, she will actually kill both of us.

Stacey: Oops. Silly me, terribly sorry, something's just popped out all by itself!giggles

Sarah: John can you help bring the dishes in and clear a space for desert

Stacey: Yeah John why don't you be a good husband and stand up and start collecting the dishes for your wifeGiggles

Rob: She's pissed.

Sarah: John doesn't look too sober either, look his face is all red.

Rob: Two pissheads together. Hello, you still with us John and Stacey?

Stacey: I'll bring the dishes Sarah, John you just sit there. You don't need to be upstanding... giggles

Rob: Wowee!... Strawberries Romanoff, my favorite Sarah. Mum never showed you how to cook like this.

Stacey: It's the new recipe book, right Sarah?

John: This is tastes absolutely gorgeous darling

Stacey: Bet it sure fucking well does

Rob: Any wine left John

Sarah: I'll get it

John: No I'll go

Stacey: No John you stay right where you are, I want to feel you next to me, in case I pass out.

John: No Stacey, leave off. Take your hand away, right

Stacey: Don't you think it's impressive that I can rub your little cock through your trousers, under the table, without a soul noticing.

John: Very impressive, an invaluable gift to mankind, now pack it in or else.

Stacey: Or else what

John: Or else I am going to ram my fist right up your crack, grab hold of your uterus and turn you inside out.

Stacey: Sounds like a deal then

John: You are simply fucking insane.

Stacey: Go on then, I'll settle for a quick finger, then I'll let you go

John: Promise?

Stacey: Go on then poke it in, right now , just don't drop your shoulder and give the game away.

John: No knickers on then Stace?

Stacey: I never wear them at parties

John: What never, all the times we've seen you

Stacey: That's right

John: Dirty fucking slut

Stacey: That's me

John: Nice slippery minge too

Stacey: Enough to drain your bollocks, that's for sure...

Rob: John...Hello...John

Sarah: John, Robs calling you, sit up straight.

John: Sorry

Stacey: Ouch, carefull

Rob: Whats up honey?

Stacey: John just caught me when he sat up. I'm fine

Rob: John, I don't know how to say this to you mate, but well there no easy way to come out with this but...well...you've run out of the Chianti.

Stacey: Rob only drinks Chianti. Goes right to his cock.

Sarah: Stacey!

John: Sorry guys I was about to stock up before you came, but Sarah had to have her way with me and, well you know...the cellar's been neglected.

Stacey: Yeah, story of my life.

Rob: Thank you for that darling. Sis. come on drive me down to the Off Licence, these two are completely rat arsed and I need some more wine in me.

Sarah: Actually I've had enough for one night. Anyhow the nearest off license is 7 miles away.

Rob: Well, that'll give us time for a nice cosy chat won't it sis'.

Sarah: No it bloody well won't

Rob: Stop making a scene and get your car keys.

Sarah; Back soon you two. John start clearing up. Stacey make sure he doesn't sit there idle.

Front Door slams, Car pulls off

Stacey: Well fancy that John, me, you and half an hour to kill. Tell me does Sarah swallow your spunk?

John: What!

Stacey: You heard, don't be such a prude

John: Stacey there's nothing in the world that I'd rather do right now, than fuck your arse clean off you legs, but this really isn't a great idea.

Stacey: John, you're absolutely right, now pull your chair back, lean back and relax.

John: You won't take no for an answer will you?

Stacey: Afraid not, now could you just shut up while I see whats this zipper is hiding. Seems you've got a lump John. Better investigate. Hmmmm...now there is a lovely stiff willy if ever I saw one. Didn't know you were circumcised. Never tasted one of these before. Tell me if this is any good.

John: Oh Stacey, that's so...so... gorgeous. Stop, stop you really must...

Stacey: Why, don't you like it?

John: Course I do, but I'm about cum all over you. In fact I've never felt intensity like this since I was a kid

Stacey: Oh well if I'm not doing it right?

John: Stand up in front of me and lift your skirt up

Stacey: Whatever for?

John: Because Stacey,I want to see your cunt

Stacey: Oh that. I thought you said you weren't interested

John: I've always wanted you Stacey, now lift the hem and show it to me

Stacey: Are you sure you want to see it

John: Come on, show me...please

Stacey: Well OK brother-in law, if you insist.

John: Oh my goodness. Stacey, it's so lovely, I've never seen a bald one before. It's a peach

Stacey: Stop staring at it you dirty old man, get you tongue in there – it won't take long, I've already got a gush on.

John: Here it comes, to give you a taster

Stacey: Oh, Oh. A bit higher, that's it, tickle my clitty. Now dab it, that's it. That's it keep it there. Now up and down, now twirl it. That's it, that's it you dirty bastard.

John: Stacey it tastes so lovely, I could do this all night long

Stacey.:Okay enough already. Time's running out. Get off and sit on the side chair and keep that cock up – do you have any condoms and don't you dare say no?

John: They're upstairs – wait here

Footsteps racing up and down the stairs

Stacey: Put it on quick, I'm desperate. No let me have another suck. Hmmm. Ok put your little spunky hat on.

John: Ok slide your puss on this missus

Stacey: No let me guide it in

John: Go on then you do it, hurry up

Stacey: No wait, I like to have a little play around first, before it goes all the way in

John: Just sit on it, you dirty little cock tease

Stacey: Ok big boy here coming down

Heavy breathing, 20 seconds

Stacey: I'm coming John, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Come on, Come on let me fell your bollocks pressing

John: Oh Stacey, oh, oh, oh

Stacey: Did you have a nice cum?

John: Did I. That was the best fuck ever, you are one gorgeous creature Stace. Let me stay in you for a while.

Stacey: Sorry no time for that. Quickly, pants on, trousers up, start clearing up for Sarah, I need the loo.

John: Ok but first, tell me Stacey, how was it for you?

Stacey: John. Rob and I haven't had sex for three months and that was the best orgasm I can remember. Right now, if I could, all I'd want to do is go to bed with you and fall asleep. But this real life and reality has just come in with a thud. I am already completely riddled with guilt and it only happened 30 seconds ago.

.

John: But...

Stacey: Don't say anything just start clearing the table

John: Look lets just pretend nothing ever happened...

Front Door opens

Rob: We're back, did you miss us...

John: Here's the corkscrew Rob, I could do with a drink.

Stacey: Me too

Sarah: Me too, I seem to be missing out...Giggles

Stacey: What is so bloody funny Sarah?

Rob: Lighten up Stacey – for once my darling sister is pissed out of her tree. Look, her heads hit the table. She's fast asleep.

John: That'll be goodnight from her then.

Stacey. Just as well. Come on Rob – the taxis here.

Rob: Bye all, say goodnight to sleepy head will you John

John: Bye Rob, Stacey.

Stacey: Night John thanks, don't feel used. I'm so, so sorry about everything

John: Goodnight Stacey, no I'm sorry and I think you are very lovely, now go home with your husband and forget about everything.

Stacey: Thanks John, thanks

Katie on it again, crockery and table clearing sound effects

Sarah: Thank god they're gone. I've had enough of my brother for one evening. Mind you, you and Stacey seemed to be in each other pockets all night. What did you do while we were out?

John: Excuse me, I thought you were out of it and fast asleep 10 minutes ago

Sarah: No I just faked it to get rid of them. So what did you two get up to?

John: Nothing, just chatted and cleared.

Sarah: Bollocks you did

John: Honestly Sarah, nothing happened between us.

Sarah: So you fucked her then.

John: No er, well not exactly.

Sarah: Come on John you either stuck your prick up her cunt and spunked off inside her, or you didn't. Which is it.?

John: Well, you see...

Sarah: Good, so you did shag her, that's a relief.

John: Good? how can that, if anything, be good?

Sarah:I haven't been much of an an angel either.

John: What?

Sarah:John came on to me while we were out

John: The sick bastard is your brother, Sarah

Sarah: He's not sick and he's not a bastard. Stacey just messes with his head

John: And you haven't right?

Sarah: They haven't made love for over a year.

John: Thought it was only 3 months.

Sarah: Oh so you did get pally, didn't you. Was she as good as you'd hoped?

John: Enough of these questions. What did your bastard brother, do to you

Sarah: John, I don't know how to break this to you, but, well, when we lived at home, with Mum and Dad, Rob well he used to...

John: Well...

Sarah: Well, we kinda used to, well, fool around, you know

John: No Sarah, I don't know

Sarah: I think you do

John: But not intercourse, right? You didn't used to fuck your kid brother right?

Sarah: Well it wasn't exactly like sex with you. You're my husband.

John: Not exactly, what the fuck is that. Either he stuck his prick up your virgin pussy and spunked off inside you, or you didn't

Sarah: The truth is we did

John: Sarah, you've finally surprised me, I've underestimated you, all these years.

Sarah: I'm so so sorry John.

John: He fucked you tonight didn't he?

Sarah: Sorry john, he just needs me. I'm his crutch

John: Arrrggh...I can't believe this is happening to me. Where did you just do it, outside on the pavement, on a park bench?.

Sarah: Doesn't matter.

John. Yes it does fucking matter, now Sarah where did your fuck your kid brother whilst you were out.

Sarah: In the car of course, please don't make this such a big deal. It not like anythings changed.

John: You mean this has been going on all the time. My god, I can't believe this shit.

Sarah: Calm down, it's not the end of the world

John: Calm down, calm down, you're fucking joking aren't you. I ought to fucking kill you right now. How could you and that bastard do this to me? What did I ever do to you two?

Sarah: Nothing much, apart from fucking his wife, here tonight

John: You're all a load of fucking insane fucking perverts and you're dragging me down with you

Sarah: John please

John; John please, John please... you've got a fucking nerve

Sarah: Keep you're voice down

John:Who are you fucking ringing now

Sarah: If you raise your arms again , I'm calling the police.

John: And tell them what, that you fuck your kid brother and always have done. Look good in the local paper, won't it.

Sarah: Please John listen to me. I came to term with this years ago. I've never had an orgasm with Rob, but he needs my comforting and says he only feels safe with me.

John: It's no wonder men are confused is it, with all you twisted women preying on us.

Sarah: Trust me John, I was just looking out for my kid brother, like I've always done, but it's you I love as my husband.

John: Funny way of showing it.

Sarah: John, please don't be mad. Come here and hold me.

John: How dare you, expect me to go on loving you?

Sarah: Just shut up and kiss me.

John: Just fuck off will you

Sarah: Just shut up and kiss me. That's better

John: Sarah, what you and Rob have been doing is wrong, you must know that.

Sarah: Nobody's perfect. You're no angel either. Can we change the subject slightly? I want to know all about Stacey. Does her carpet match her curtains?

John: What...?

Sarah:Just curious

John: No, let me wait for it, you're now a lesbian also.

Sarah: Of course not. Talk like this does get me going though. So tell me, what colour are her pubes? Bet she just has one of those Brazilian strips, doesn't she?

John: She doesn't have any at all actually?

Sarah: What, completely nude, like baby? You must have liked that. Was it a big turn on for you?

John: It was like the first time all over again. Now why are you asking me all this shit?

Sarah: Sorry John, all this smutty chat is getting my juices flowing...here give me your hand. Feel me here...see

John: Sarah, you're like butter

Sarah: Tell me about Stacey's tit's. Pert or droopy, soft or firm? Are here nipples big or small, pink or brown?

John: Didn't see them

Sarah: That much of a hurry were you? Fucked the little minx half clothed did you?

John: Well here motor was already running before I even touched here

Sarah: Me too, fancy getting your dick out, right now?

John: Maybe, not that you deserve it

Sarah: Just remember one thing John.This here is my Dick, and no matter where it's been it will always be mine and mine alone. My pussy is where it belongs and where it will allways has to come back to. Anything about that you don't understand...