Rory's 18 Birthday Wishes

"Oh," said Lorelai, she had been expecting something bigger than this. She was about to say that she had been expecting at least a confession that Rory had been involved in the D B Cooper hijacking.

But before she could speak, Rory continued, "I mean I don't think... I know. I like girls, I mean I find them attractive and I think about them. Not all girls, just pretty girls and women - I fantasise about older women - what they called Milfs in American Pie. I still like boys, but can you still like women at the same time?"

"Yes," replied Lorelai and smiled, "Yes you can."

Rory smiled back briefly, but that smile slowly faded and after a little silence the youngest Gilmore girl simply muttered, "So..."

"So?" Lorelai parroted, sounding confused as opposed to her daughter who sounded nervous.

"So... is my first wish still granted?" Rory asked, adding after a short pause, "You still love me?"

"Oh God Rory," Lorelai said, getting up and hugging her daughter tightly to her and not giving a damn that the other people in a restaurant looked at her weirdly, "That wish will never, ever be ungranted. Never ever. There's nothing you can do or say which would ever make me not love you."

Rory bit her lip, glad her mother couldn't see it as she seemed to melt into her embrace. Too soon it ended, with Lorelai pulling back so her face was only a few inches away from Rory's, her luscious lips seeming to scream out for attention.

"Rory... is there anything I've done to make you feel like I wouldn't love you if you told me you liked girls?" Lorelai asked.

Rory honestly thought back before she replied, "No... I guess I never really believed you would... I just couldn't help worry, you know?"

Lorelai smiled, sat back down in her seat and then after a pause asked, "How long have you known?"

"I..." Rory began, a little taken off guard, "I guess always... but..."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Lorelai interrupted.

"I... I don't know." Rory lied, before quickly adding, "I mean, I never thought it actually act on it, so I thought it was no big deal. I was just going to keep it to myself, but... after everything that happened with Dean and Jess, I just thought, why not? I mean, I think... I think deep down this is what I really want. It is what I really want."

Lorelai's eyes suddenly lit up, "Oh my God, there's a girl."

"What? No, there's no girl." Rory, which depending on your point of view was either the truth or a deep lie.

"Oh my god they're totally is. You're totally into a girl. Who is she? Is she your girlfriend? Have you guys kissed yet? Is... wait, you said you liked older women, is... is she a teacher? Oh my God Rory, are you dating a teacher!" Lorelai suddenly panicked.

"No, no, no, no!" Rory insisted, before unable to stop herself adding, "I'm not the teacher dater in the family."

Lorelai pouted, stuck out her tongue and said, "Well who then? Paris? Oh my God, it's Paris isn't it?"

"It's not Paris." Rory said.

"Lane?" Lorelai asked.

"No." Rory sighed.

"It's not Madeline or Louise is it? Because seriously, you could do better." Lorelai joked, almost a hundred percent sure it wasn't, and very much hoping she was right as she didn't want to insult her daughter.

"No." Rory said, "Wasn't wish three that you would listen to me and not interrupt?"

"Maybe..." Lorelai said coyly, "Why, you weren't done?"

"No." Rory said, "Actually I had some questions for you..."

Wish 4

"I wish you would tell me if you had ever had a lesbian experience before?" Rory asked.

There was a brief pause as a smile slowly crossed Lorelai's face, "Yes. A few."

For a few long moments Rory just blinked as she hadn't been expecting that response, "Wow... why... why didn't you tell me?"

Lorelai shrugged, "I was going to when you were old enough but... I don't know. It's not like I've felt the urge to go cruising for hot chicks, so unless I met someone and it became an issue I figured it was just better left unsaid."

"That makes sense," admitted Rory; "You do know I'm going to ask about them in a future wish?"

"I guessed you might," Lorelai smiled and took another bite of her meal. The way the candle flickered in front of her made her daughter look more sensual, more adult than normal - a young woman, not a child. To Lorelai It was both sad and uplifting that soon Rory would be spreading her wings and out in the wide world. But she would always be her daughter, she would always be her Rory. Lorelai put down the fork again, "In fact I was thinking it was going to be your next wish. If it's not what is?"

Wish 5

"I wish you would tell me if you have ever loved a woman before?" the words came out so quickly that they almost merged into one.

Rory's hand briefly shook, she was getting into much more intimate and personal questions. Lorelai looked at her, there was a small trickle of sweat forming on the teen's forehead and she was obviously nervous. It must be she feared that any minute she was going to go over the edge and ask something that her Mom would feel insulted by. She needn't worry, Lorelai couldn't imagine anything she wouldn't share with Rory and the questions so far had been intimate, but nothing that Lorelai felt ashamed or worried about.

Still, Lorelai paused before answering, they were getting more heavy and perhaps it was time to lighten it up. Rory could sometimes get a little intense, it wasn't a terrible flaw, but it was something Lorelai liked to look out for to stop Rory rushing into a sudden panic about nothing. Anyway thinking back none of the relationships had been that special, though some had been fun.

"I'm waiting," said Rory sternly, "It is in your power. You must answer. Them be the rules."

She suddenly smiled to confirm that she wasn't serious.

But Lorelai was going to answer, "The only girl I've ever truly loved is you. I love my best friend, and to a far lesser extent I love my mother, but I love you in different way... I love you more than anything else in the world."

She grinned. It was a clever trick she felt, one in the careful what you wish for category of wishes. It answered the question accurately, just not the question Rory had meant.

However looking at Rory the teen's reaction surprised her Mom, she had that far away look again. It was only for a moment, before she blinked and shook her head like she was clearing her thoughts, "I wasn't talking about loving Grandma. I was talking about, well love-love. You know... sex love."

"That's not what you asked?" replied Lorelai grinning, "You asked if I'd ever loved a woman. If you want to ask whether I've ever loved a woman who I was in a relationship with that'll be wish number six."

"Fine..." Rory pouted.

Wish 6

"I wish you would tell me if you've ever been in love with a woman before." Rory said, stressing the words 'in love'.

"Isn't that the same as question five? Or wish five, or whatever?" Lorelai teased.

"No, loving someone isn't the same as being in love with them. Loving someone just means they're dear to you, being in love with someone means you want to spend every waking moment with them, get married, have lots of babies and grow old together." Rory explained in annoyance as she was pretty sure her mother knew what she was talking about given the smug look on her face, "I mean, you love Grandma, but you're not in love with her."

"God no." Lorelai said with a shudder.

"And you're not in love with me," Rory said, pausing for only a microsecond before continuing, "Or anyone else we know who's a woman?"

"No." Lorelai replied, however there was about a second's pause.

"Are you sure? Because you don't sound sure." Rory said.

"I'm sure." Lorelai said firmly, "I've never been in love with a woman. Ever. The closest I've come... is you. Not, not in a gross way or anything like that, I just... you're everything to me, you know?"

"I know." Rory smiled. She did know, and if her mother had been slightly more convincing then this night might have gone differently. True, Rory had been hoping the responses to her early wishes would give her more conclusive results, but while there was still a chance to get everything she wanted she had to take it.

"So, what's your next wish?" Lorelai asked.

Rory opened her mouth as if to say something, but seemed to change her mind, "Can we wait until we finish our meal?"

Lorelai smiled, "Sure Rory, it's your night, we can do whatever you want."

Rory's mind briefly wandered to her up coming wishes, but she pushed them aside and smiled, "Thanks."

*

Wish 7

"I wish you would tell about your lesbian experiences," asked Rory.

They had eaten, had a coffee (or rather two, much to the waiter's shock - not being used to such caffeine hounds he was taken by surprise by the demands for refills) and were in the car heading back before Rory had raised her seventh wish.

The question didn't quite come out of the blue, but it still wasn't what Lorelai was expecting as the next question. Though, if she admitted the truth to herself, none of the wishes had been what she'd been expecting. Whilst she was close to Rory she was starting to wonder if this had been a good idea, the wishes were getting exceptionally personal. There was no getting out of it now - a promise was promise. Even so Lorelai glanced out the window, watching the lights of passing cars zip by, pausing before answering, "Why? Would it mean anything?"

"It might help me with my own curiosity," replied Rory shyly, "I've seen a naked woman. I mean in the showers at school... oh and you... it's not like I'm stalking you or anyone. I'm gabbling... What I mean is that's all I've seen I don't know what it's like. I want to know how you found it."

Again Lorelai paused, letting her mind wander back to her lesbian relationships and thinking what they were like. She smiled as she remembered, they might have all ended in grief or bitterness or boredom, but at the time they had been fun. Indeed they had almost all the enjoyment of heterosexual sex, but without the pregnancy risks. The Milf turned to face her daughter, the teen's face clouded in the darkness of the car, "Okay a wish is a wish."

"Thanks Mom," Rory sounded more relaxed.

"My first was called Shelly. We were fourteen and at school. It wasn't heavy, we made out a few times in her bedroom. And on one occasion I put my hand inside her shirt, but she pushed it out before I could get anywhere," Lorelai smiled at the memory.

Rory giggled, "You slut... So what happened?"

"Her Dad got a new posting in Frankfurt and off she went. She promised to write...she never did. I was heartbroken for at least a month. So that's number one.

"Number two was called Monica. This was a bit more serious. She was nineteen and pregnant, same time I was pregnant with you. We did some ante-natal together and we hit-off, I think we were both rebels. So anyway one night I had a big fallout with your Grandma and went to stay the night with Monica. Her boyfriend was doing nightshift and they'd been fighting as well, he said he wasn't ready. Well one thing led to another and we ended in her bed naked, making out and... well, with our fingers in each other's holes. Next morning she wakes up and flips, screaming, shouting, really not happy. She was so bad I was glad to see Mom..."

"That bad," grinned Rory, "I guess you didn't do it again."

"No. But number three... You would have been about two when I met Suzie. She was a free-spirit, this bohemian artist. You know that painting in the toilet..."

"The dying sunflower?"

"... she painted it. She was renting over the Summer, doing some painting before she went back to University to do a PhD. We hit it off. I really did think we were in love that Summer. We made love under the stars, or in her flat, or in friend's house. We were like bunnies... But she didn't want to be a step-Mom. Eventually I had to tell her it was non-negotiable - you came over the sex, no matter how good."

"Oh," said Rory, a little put out.

Lorelai smiled and stroked her daughter's hair. She was surprised that Rory flinched, but decided it was because of the thought of her Mom having sex or because of what Lorelai had just said on the choices she'd made. She decided she needed to expand, "I'm glad. It's not something I regret. I can't imagine a relationship without you in it... It was her loss, she could have had the most gorgeous step-daughter in the world."

"Were there others?"

"One more. You might remember her. Auntie Carol? She was... well, I think my lover is a nice way to put it. We were never really dating so I didn't really mind when she got serious with some guy and moved away," Lorelai paused. It was perfect timing as the town sign for Star's Hollow came into view, "Looks like we're nearly home. So does wish eight wait until we're there or not?"

There was a few seconds as Rory wondered if there's anything else she should ask before she used her next wish, but her mind was a blank so she smiled and simply replied, "Let's wait."

"Okay sweetie, whatever you say." Lorelai smiled.

For the brief remaining moments of their limo ride the Gilmore girls slid into something highly unusual to for them, an awkward silence.

Lorelai couldn't help wondering where her daughter was going with all this. After all, so far all of her wishes were nothing Lorelai wouldn't have granted under normal circumstances. Okay, so the expensive meal might have been a stretch, but it wasn't like Rory asked for them all the time so Lorelai would have probably said yes on any other given day, and for a birthday it seemed like such a small thing.

Why wasn't her daughter asking for expensive gifts? Sure, she had been careful not to spoil her daughter but Rory had the right to be at least a little greedy and selfish on her own birthday didn't she? What was Rory getting out of all this? Was she really going to have to beg her daughter to make better use of her wishes?

And what was going on here? Something just seemed... strange. Like she was almost expecting something bad to happen, but that was just absurd.

While Lorelai's mind was curiously wondering what was going on Rory's mind was going a mile a millisecond, desperately analysing this night and the past few weeks, desperately deciding whether she should go through with what she planned or not.

There was still time to back out but she was rapidly approaching the point of no return and in a few wishes time her relationship with her mother would never, ever be the same again.

To risk something so precious to her seemed like madness in its purest form, but Rory had promised herself no more putting this off, no more neglecting to say how she really felt, no more not going after what she really wanted.

Rory kept reminding herself of this, over and over again as the limousine arrived at it's destination and she slowly got out of it to make her way back into her home. Her Mom was by her side as usual, but for once her cheerful words didn't even register in Rory's mind. She didn't even wake up from her haze until she realised she was standing in the middle of her home with her mother staring at her.

"Seriously Rory, are you okay?" Lorelai asked, the deepest concern in her voice and on her face.

Rory blinked, and then smiled, "I'm fine."

"Really," Lorelai said in relief, before a smile crossed her face, "Did the wine really get to you that much? Because if it did maybe Grandpa was right, we need to start getting you used to drinking more. God forbid your school mates at Harvard or Yale think you're some kind of light-weight. Hey, maybe we should really prepare you for the future by having you drink more regularly. I can see it now, my little girl chugging a six-pack everyday on her way to school."

"Mom." Rory whined as her mother teased her.

"Oh, you want to get started right now? It's not as fancy, but I'm sure I have wine lying around here somewhere." Lorelai continued.

"Mom." Rory said again.

"Or maybe a beer." Lorelai grinned.

"MOM!" Rory yelled in a tone that Lorelai had never heard before and shocked her into silence, and Rory immediately regretted it is she added, "Please sit down, we're not done talking."

Lorelai blinked, briefly considered scalding Rory for her tone but let it slide as simple frustration and sat down. Rory joined her and just seemed to stare at her for a few moments, prompting Lorelai to begin, "Rory..."

Wish 8

"I wish you would answer my next questions truthfully." Rory interrupted almost too quickly for Lorelai to hear them.

Assuring her daughter she had heard Lorelai said, "Okay sweetie, no problem. What did you want to ask?"

There was a long pause, so long in fact that Lorelai began to wonder whether her daughter had forgotten what she was going to ask or had got side-tracked into looking at the wallpaper. But when the question came Lorelai immediately recognised the reason for the pause...

Wish 9

"I wish you would tell me if... if you've ever thought, about fucking me?" asked Rory. As soon as she said it she drew in a deep breath and stared at the floor.

For a few moments Lorelai didn't know what to say. If some of the previous wishes had been strange and intimate, this one was so much deeper; it ploughed into the very deep of Lorelai's soul. However she answered it would be for keeps, there would be no going back. The Milf knew that she needed a few seconds to clear her thoughts and perhaps work out why Rory would think that. Lorelai tried to keep her voice even as she asked "Why would you ask that?"

"Because I've watched you finger yourself many times in the shower calling my name," replied Rory, which suggested her earlier comments about not stalking her Mom in the shower may not have been entirely truthful. Lorelai let that ride as she tried to think of what she could possibly say.

The truth was that Lorelai Gilmore was in her mid-thirties with a sex life, which could be best described as intermittent. She had sometimes fantasised about her daughter, but she'd pretty much fantasised about everyone she knew, and as that included visions of a threesome with Sookie and Jackson, and being dped by Taylor and Michel, her sex fantasises about Rory certainly weren't the weirdest she'd had. In front of her Rory sat, she had looked up again and was staring at her Mom intently, biting her lip nervously and rubbing her hands together.

If Lorelai denied it, she be lying to Rory. If she said yes, there relationship would alter out of all recognition - Mom's did not admit to day dreaming about their daughter's spreading their legs without there being some comeback. But look at Rory, looking so sweet, so innocent, so sensual Lorelai also wondered if that by saying no she might be missing out on a possible relationship that would mean more to her than any of the failed ones in her past.

Taking a deep breath Lorelai spoke, "Yes," for a moment the word seem to hang in the air. But slowly Rory smiled and relaxed, making Lorelai sure she had chosen the right choice. Perhaps nothing would come from her admission, perhaps it would, time would tell. At the same time Lorelai felt she needed to say a little more, "Not often and compared to some of my dreams, nothing at all kinky... well, if you don't think me having sex with you is kinky."

"Sure Mom," Rory sounded relieved.

There was another long pause which made Lorelai extremely nervous that her little girl was now disgusted with her. Feeling like she had to be careful not to lose everything she had with her daughter Lorelai spoke carefully, "Rory... I've never ever even considered acting out half my fantasies, no, not even that, it's more like one third, a quarter, one tenth, something even smaller, I don't know. I just know that I'd never ever do anything to you Rory. I love you. I'd never make you do anything you didn't want to do."