tagCelebrities & Fan FictionRosetta Bone: Batgirl & Dirty Trix

Rosetta Bone: Batgirl & Dirty Trix


Author's Note:

This is loosely based on the characters Batman TV show from the 60s, with references elsewhere, and - as a silly parody - makes no attempt to be consistent in reference to all the wonderful batman stories and worlds created before and after. It is satire, tongue in cheek, and tongue in...

All characters are entirely fictional and also over the age of 18 in their actions and thoughts. Enjoy! As always, comments and votes are appreciated, especially as this is an entry in the 2018 "April Fool's" Story Contest.

- Kethandra


Dick Grayson looked over the gate toward the pool. Beautiful Barbara Gordon reclined on a chaise lounge, long red hair framing her face, royal blue bikini displaying her toned lithe body. He bit his lower lip in a mixture of frustration and lust.

It was humiliating. The youthful ward of a millionaire philanthropist shouldn't have to spend the summer after he turned 18 cleaning pools. Especially when he was also a world-class crime fighter. But Bruce Wayne had other ideas and thought it would 'build character.'

Now this. Bruce had volunteered Dick to clean Commissioner Gordon's pool. He had found the backyard empty last week, but apparently Barbara, two years older than Dick, was home from again. He had always had a crush on the commissioner's daughter, with her incredible hair. Thick dark hair usually up in a sexy beehive style, showing off her shapely neck, to which she had recently debuted a new red hair color.

Dick wanted to bury his nose in that hair, inhale her scent. Add in bright green eyes, temptingly curved form, and a mature grace, and she left him feeling like a awkward schoolboy.

It wasn't easy to make Dick feel awkward. He was the last of the Flying Graysons after all, a gymnast and acrobat since he could walk. It didn't help that she was taller than he was even without the high heels she usually wore, stretching out the sleek calves and ankles he had long drooled over.

The fact was, Dick had a crush on quite a few sexy beauties that seemed to swirl around his life, especially as Robin. Cat Woman, of course, the tease. Poison Ivy. Even Dr. Harley Quinn, the new shrink at Arkham Asylum, seemed to be able to arouse him whenever he pictured her. But as Bruce Wayne's ward Dick, and as Batman's sidekick Robin too, the focus seemed to be on the older man with the deeper voice and squarer jaw, not the smallish young man always at his side. Especially in Robin's god-awful costume, bare-legged in the world's worst booty shorts. Holy Humiliation.

Barbara was different though. Especially now with the red mane, since her change of hair color, and fair smooth skin haunted him at night. The good girl demureness that never seemed to tell the whole story. Only another redhead, Batgirl, came close to Barbara's ability to make his blood boil with angst and desire. Odd, since the two shared little besides their current tendency toward Titian tresses. One, a mysterious crimefighter, the other a meek Library Sciences major, newly appointed Head Librarian.

As he reached for the latch to open the side gate, Dick remembered Commissioner Gordon warning him about the new alarm that had just been installed. Good thing. Setting off the alarm would have been a great way to impress the bikini clad beauty. He retraced his steps to the front door and keyed in the access code.

Once inside the modest home, he checked through the sliding glass door: Barbara hadn't moved. She seemed to be asleep. Dick couldn't resist temptation; he silently padded down the hall to her room.

He froze when he glimpsed the redhead stir through her window, only relaxing when she rolled onto her stomach, making no move to get up. Dick stayed still, watching her rounded bottom wiggle into a comfortable spot before he moved.

It had to be her room, with the girlish decor, stuffed animals, and an open suitcase. He saw a small pile of clothes on the floor, centered in front of a large framed full length mirror on one wall. Jeans, dainty socks, a button down shirt and...Holy Hit-The-Jackpot!...tiny powder blue panties.

Once more he checked the window. She was face down and motionless, her round, slightly reddened butt only accentuated by the narrow blue strip of material 'covering' it. Then the panties were in his hand.

He surprised himself by stretching them against his waist, his reflection in the mirror vamping back at him with one hip cocked and his lips in a kissing pucker. He quickly brought them up, pressing the silky material to his face and inhaling deeply.

Her smell was there. The smell he associated with red hair, since he had only caught a whiff of that particular intoxicating spice twice before, from two different women, from Barbara and from Batgirl: Barbara, when he had been required to dance with her at the Policeman's Ball a couple months ago. She had debuted the new red hair that night, and Dick had been a stuttering idiot.

The other time had been from Batgirl, when the Penguin's henchman had tied the two together, Robin and Batgirl, only the huge pendulum of Gotham City's City Hall clock between them. With every swing, the masked heroine's red hair had dragged across his face, filling his nose with her mesmerizing scent.

The panties, though, also had a subtly different smell, more earthy. He inhaled deeply, taking in what could only be the scent of her sex. The thought made his knees week and he leaned a hand on Barbara's small vanity.

As his hand wrapped around the edge, he felt a little piece of the ornate wood trim give under his finger. He pushed harder. His ears caught a soft click coming from the mirror. He would have sworn he saw it move slightly.

Outside, Barbara was still. Dick investigated. He jiggled the large frame, pulling and pushing until he felt it give. The entire mirror and frame slid silently to the side. Dick gasped.

A small hidden room was revealed. The first thing he saw was a very familiar suit, empty and hanging. Batgirl's. Holy Leopards. I should have spotted that one. Barbara Gordon was Batgirl!

The young detective's mind quickly made connections. Batgirl's recent absence while Barbara was away at a Library Sciences intensive. The similar smell he had thought came from their shared red hair. Batgirl's odd ability to know the innermost workings of the Gotham police force.

He quickly slid the mirror back into place, inhaling the rich scent from her panties once more before placing them back on top of the pile. He exited the front door, resetting the alarm. As excited as he felt about his shocking discovery, Dick didn't think he could act casual cleaning the pool. He could come back tomorrow, say his other pools had taken a little longer than usual.

He stopped in his tracks. Today was the last day of March and his agreement was to have the pool done before the 1st. A commitment is a commitment. Dick quickly ran through the calming routine Bruce had taught him, lowering his heart rate and breathing. This time, back in the house, he headed straight for the sliding door to the backyard and pool.

Barbara must have been asleep as her head jerked up when he opened the door.

"Wha? You...Dick!" Her gorgeous green eyes went wide. "Sorry. That came out wrong."

He laughed at her embarrassing reaction. It helped smooth over his own nervousness. "Good to see you too, Barbara. I'm just here to clean the pool. Bruce says honest labor builds character."

She snorted as she levered herself up on one elbow, exposing herself barely clothed front to him. "As if Bruce Wayne knew about honest labor."

"I know, right?" Dick knew how hard Bruce worked as Batman and as a patron of many worthy causes, but also knew how important it was that he cultivate his effete playboy image. "Back from your seminar?"

Barbara rolled onto her back and stretched, her firm breasts straining against the thin top as her back arched. Dick inhaled sharply as he saw the darker pinpoints in the center of each blue triangle. Holy Stand-up Routine, were her nipples erect?

"This was more than a seminar. Six weeks of full-time continuing education. Now I've got the day off - except for the reception tonight - and with this heat wave I thought Daddy's pool deck would be the place to spend it."

"Reception?" Dick remembered as soon as he started asking. "For the Rosetta Bone?"

Just broaching the subject of the infamous and mysterious ancient phallus, even accidentally, increased the flush warming his cheeks.

"Yep." She shook her head, red hair gleaming in the sun. "The things it takes to get people to the library. Or a museum. I guess they're right: sex does sell."

Barbara eased back down, supine on the lounge, as she completed her statement.

His laugh sounded to Dick like a nervous bark. He had no idea what to say, busied himself checking the filter and chemicals before grabbing the long-handled net to catch the few stray leaves floating in the deep end. A netful more had sunk to the bottom but were quickly retrieved.

Her eyes were closed again.

No, they weren't. He caught a glint of light through her lashes. She was watching him. Probably to see if he stared at her. So he avoided the tempting view as much as he could. Soon the pool was spotless and and he circled the deck, wiping down the outdoor furniture.

Barbara's lounge was the last. As he neared, she rolled onto her side, one hand on a hip, and looked him in the eyes. "Can I ask you something personal, Dick?"

"Uh, sure."

"I hope this isn't rude, but...are you gay?"

"What?" He sputtered. "No! No, I...like girls."

"Well, why don't you look at me? I've never had men's eyes on me like I get when I wear this bikini."

"I, ah, didn't want to stare."

"Didn't want to, or didn't want me to catch you staring?"

Dick felt his face redden. Yes, he wanted to stare, and stare, and stare. He wanted to stare at her softly curving belly disappearing into the blue waistband that snugged in a shallow crescent from hip to hip. He wanted to stare at the curving tops - pink now in the sun - of twin full breasts pushed upward and inward by her top.

"Looking is okay, Dick. As long as you're not being an jerk about it, like some of guys. By the way: I am. Mostly."

"Huh?" She had him off balance and confused. "You're mostly what?"

She reached one hand beneath her to adjust her bottom, smiled when she saw him finally looking.

"I'm gay. But Daddy doesn't know it yet."


"No, he doesn't know it at all."

She laughed at his expression, even further confused and off balance now. "That's a joke, Dick. I'm mostly gay, I think. Girls are just so much...hotter than guys, you know? Soft and smooth, not hairy and smelly. But once in a while, there's nothing like a good hard dick. Oops, sorry. I meant cock."

"Did you really think I was gay just because I didn't gawk at you? I thought that was polite."

"Politeness is not the first thing on most young men's minds. And most of them don't have such smooth shaved legs." She pointed out. His face heated, reddened.

"You can keep a secret, can't you, Dick?" Her face was serious.

He held back a laugh, thinking of Batman and all the secrets surrounding his secrets identity. "I've been told I'm very good at keeping secrets. In the circus, if you can't be trusted, you don't last long."

"Good. Because I'm letting a few out right now." She sighed, and the younger man allowed his eyes to follow her chest rise and fall as she did so. "There's no one I can talk about some of these things."

The lovely redhead rolled back onto her stomach before reaching back and untying the string holding her bikini top. Dick openly stared at her smooth toned back, only her small blue bottoms now preventing his first in-person view of an entirely naked woman. He felt his cock lurch upward inside his shorts, glad that Barbara (Batgirl!) couldn't see.

"My roommate at the intensive insisted I'm a lesbian." Her voice was muffled slightly by her position with her head cradled in her crossed arms. "And only a lesbian."

"Mm hmm." He had no idea what to say, but knew he didn't want the moment to stop.

"I thought we might just...fool around. It was so convenient, since we already shared a room, there was no sneaking around to be alone. No rumors to spread."

She giggled into her arms. "Just legs. To spread, that is."

Dick felt as hard as he had ever been, thinking of the long legs exposed in front of him now spreading wide.

"Then she started getting possessive. She was the only one for me."

He could understand that urge.

"Everything changed last week, when she overheard me talking on the phone. A guy, a really sweet, honorable boy, my partner in one of our breakout sessions, had asked me to dinner. To celebrate completing our project."

Her long red hair reflected the afternoon sun as she flipped it to one side, turning her face to look at the young man listening attentively. "Is this okay, Dick? I hope you don't think I'm using you for free therapy."

"No. Uh. It's fine. Your secrets are safe with me." And she didn't even know about her big secret he'd discovered earlier.

"Thanks. I really feel safe, sharing this with you." She smiled at him, brightening her whole face.

Dick felt his heartbeat jump. He couldn't keep his eyes on hers, so bright, so beautiful. His gaze dropped to the side of her breast, where more of the pale smooth little mound was showing since she turned to look at him.

He wasn't sure she had seen where he looked, but the way her smile changed before she again put her head down between arms indicated she probably did. And didn't seem to mind.

"One thing you should know about me. Once I start talking, Dick, I keep going awhile. Would you mind rubbing some sunscreen on my back? I burn so easily."

"Sure. No problem." He saw the bottle on the small table, squeezed some into his palm. Dick gave silent thanks for the long hours of training in the Batcave, and before that as a circus acrobat, to keep inner nervousness from betraying his hand or voice.

Rubbings his palms together, he began to spread the lotion over her shoulder blades before working down toward her lower back. Barbara didn't simply keep going, the pace of her words increased as they gathered steam.

"Mmmm. That's good. Where was I? Oh yeah, my partner's call. Rose - that was my roommate - overheard. I took a nap that afternoon. When I woke up, I couldn't move and it was hard to breath. I heard her laugh, close behind me, and something pulled my arms tight behind me. She had tied me up and had put a gag over my mouth. I think now she slipped something in my water bottle; I'm not usually one to take naps, especially that deep."

Dick had to get more lotion to finish coating her ribs and the small of her back. He drew a careful line millimeters from actually touching her suit bottom.

"Is this TMI?"

Internally, Dick knew it was way 'too much information,' as his nearly painful cock reminded him, but he wanted more. Much more. "Not at all. Sounds like you need to talk about this. No one will hear about from me."

"Dick, you're so sweet. And such strong, sure hands. Don't forget my legs."

Her legs. Dick would never forget those. But now he was being asked to rub lotion into them. Even as he moved down to her feet, rubbing more sunscreen between his palms, his eyes were drawn to where the long legs ended, to the narrow gap covered by thin blue nylon.

"Oh yes. I love having my feet rubbed." Barbara purred at his touch.

"I'll rub them more, if you'd like." Dick was feeling more confident. "After I finish with your legs."

"Deal." It was a small motion, but he was sure she had spread her thighs just a bit, giving him a wider view between them.

He took his time, massaging the smooth skin of one calf and ankle more deliberately than he had her back.

"I had never heard Rose so angry. I couldn't see her at all, but she raged at me. 'Think you have a date tonight, Barbie? You do now, just not the one you planned.' I felt her hand between my legs then, not gentle. I realized she had undressed me before tying me up. I was naked, Dick. I shook my head, unable to speak. I started to cry."

It took all of his concentration to continue calmly massaging her. Moving to the second ankle, he couldn't help but picture Barbara naked, bound, and a female hand touching her not far from where his hands would soon be.

"I won't bother you with all the details, Dick."

Please do! The more details the better, he thought.

"But she opened my eyes that day. And night. Her words mocked me, teased me, especially after she felt how excited I was. I had never told anyone, but I knew I liked it the time when...the idea of being tied up, helpless."

Dick smiled as she caught herself. He knew she'd been tied up before, as Batgirl. Tied up close to him. Had she been turned on then? He moved closer to her waist as he applied the lotion to her first thigh, beginning at the back of the knee. She didn't complain when his hands slid around to massage the underside of her leg, even though the sun was not a danger there in her current position.

Slicking lotion under her thigh, he held her leg's weight in his palms. Her muscles were relaxed, almost limp, allowing him control. He rejected his thought to swing her thigh wide, but allowed his hands several passes beyond what duty required.

"She knew I was crying, that I was struggling, but she didn't stop. Not her hand on me, or her voice teasing me. 'You think you can go out with any stupid jock you want?' She asked, her voice with an edge I'd never heard before."

"I cried out into the gag as she shoved her fingers into me, too hard. Her touch had always been so soft, so gentle, most of the time, before this. 'You want some big dumb hairy man to stick his dirty thing inside you? You want him to pump you full of his nasty cum, and then tell all his frat buddies how the whore begged for more?'

"Her hand was rough, her voice raged at me. 'Well, dirty little slut, you're going to get what you want. A nice fat cock fucking you.' She took her hand away from me, and I heard her rustling around in her closet. The worst thing was, as soon as I felt her touch leave me, I wanted it back. I think I'm sick, Dick. And she found my sickness."

Dick heard a sniffle from where her face was buried between her arms. Was she crying? He was completely out of his league, but couldn't stand the thought that she might stop her confession.

He didn't think he'd ever been so aroused. Except maybe one time the Batalarm had gone off while he was having that dream about Catwoman, whispering into his ear, in a sensual purr that reminded him oddly of the woman who sang "Santa Baby" on the radio, her long sharp nails dragging closer and closer up his thigh...

She sniffled again, louder, bringing him back the here and now. "It's okay, Barbara. Sometimes we all just need to talk, let things out."

His voice was soft, reasonable. He recognized it as an unconscious imitation of Bruce, who as Batman had used similar words and tone to coax information out of more than one captured henchman, abandoned and lost when a maniacal super-villain had fled to delay capture by the Dynamic Duo.

"Thank you." Her voice was a muffled whisper, her face hidden. "I...need to tell someone."

His hands moved to the second thigh, again starting at the knee, as she continued. "Before then, she had only used her hands on me, and her mouth. And never in anger. This was so different.

"She kept talking about how much I wanted a hard nasty cock in me. Then I felt something big, far bigger than her fingers push against me. I tried to say no, I shook my head, trying to plead with her, but I felt it open me up, stretch me wide."

Half way up the second thigh, nearing the spot he had been too scared to go past on the first leg, worried she might stop him and her story, Dick noticed something.

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byKethandra© 5 comments/ 8079 views/ 10 favorites

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