Rough Draft: Twisted Ink

"I love you, angel," he whispered. I couldn't respond, so I just sighed.

Ben 5

"Damn, bro. She said that? God, that bitch is a cunt," Jack said. I had told him about what Lana had said. The words made me want to kill the bitch. 'Why don't you give up on the white trash, fat ass and man up, Benjamin'. Fucking bitch.

"Yeah. That she is," I replied. This paternity shit was taking its toll. I was grouchy and emotionally drained. Everyday, every fucking day, Lana was texting or leaving bullshit messages. Sometimes they were tearful pleas, other times the were crazy rants. I was really beginning to wonder if the psycho bitch was manic. Shit her brother was.

My phone started ringing. Normally I turned it off at work, but Lana got served today.

Jen. I couldn't help the grin that split my face. My girl had been a fucking dream during all of this. She was a hard ass when I needed my ass kicked or a sweet angel when I needed to be close to her.

"Hey, angel," I answered.

"Ben?" her voice was full of tears. My chest tightened painfully. I was standing and moving to the door before I realized what was going on.

"What's wrong, baby? Where are you?" I asked feeling more than a little panicked.

"At home," she sobbed. God, what was wrong? I climbed on my bike.

"Why aren't you at work?" She let out a heart wrenching sob. "Jen, baby? I'm on my way."

I hung up the phone and took off like my ass was on fire. I flew to Jen's apartment, took the stairs two at a time and banged on her door. What seemed like an eternity later, the lock clicked. The door creaked open and Jen stood there looking...sick. She was ghost white except for her eyes, which were bloodshot and red rimmed. Her hair was sticking to her forehead from sweat.

Panic turned to flat out fear. "Jesus, Jennifer, what's wrong," I asked picking her up and kicking the door closed.

"I got fired," she croaked.

"I'm sorry, baby," I sat down with her in my lap. She shook her head. "What, baby? Please tell me what's going on."

She pulled away from me and walked to her purse. She pulled out a folded piece of paper. She handed it to me.

"This was sent to the members of the board and my boss by an anonymous source," she said stoically. I unfolded the paper. Oh shit! "It's from that day, in my car, in the parking lot at my office." She said and sat down on the coffee table.

I looked at the paper again. It was a picture of Jen and I. I wasn't recognizable, but Jen was. And it wasn't hard to figure out what we were doing. I had nothing to say. All I could do was stare at Jen.

"There's more," she said finally. She handed me a Manila envelope from the table. I reluctantly opened it. I pulled out an SD card and another picture. This one was a four by six glossy of us through the office window at the shop. Both had been quickies when we were shorthanded at work.

"What's on the card?" I asked. Afraid of the answer.

"I don't know," she whimpered.

"Com'ere, angel," I said brokenly and held my arms out to her. I didn't know what to say; sorry wasn't good enough.

"I want to see it," she said emotionlessly. I looked at the card.

"Baby, no. Let me watch."

"NO!" She screeched and jerked away from me. "SOMEONE IS FUCKING WITH MY LIFE, BEN!"

"Ok. Ok, baby," I said soothingly. She stood and got her laptop. She came back and sat beside me. I took a deep breath and put the memory card in. I set it up and the video started. I was going to be sick. Bile crept up my throat. Someone had been in my fucking house. The video was shot from the TV stand in my room. It was of the night I told Jen I loved her. I couldn't look away. The damn thing had been edited, I could tell. That part was about fifteen minutes, then it cut to the next day. Oh sweet baby Jesus. Our whole intimate encounter was playing out in front of me.

I heard Jen gag and she got up and ran to the kitchen. Jesus fucking Christ. What kind of psycho...Lana. Always fucking Lana. 'I love you, angel' the video played. Someone had gotten into my house.

"Ben?" I snapped around. Jen was sheet white again. I jumped to my feet and ran to her. She went down before I got there. I heard her head thud against the hardwood floor. No. No. Jennifer!

"Wake up, baby," I shouted and lightly slapped her. "Jennifer! Wake up!" I heard her moan and damn near wept with relief. "Open your eyes, angel. Don't do this to me, baby. Open your eyes."

Slowly she did. She blink up at me, the she started shaking, violently. She pulled herself up and climbed on me. She clung to me like she was trying to hide inside of me.

I didn't know what to do, so I held her. I rocked us back and forth. Rubbing her and kissing her hair. After what seemed like days, she went lax and her breathing was even. I carried her to her bed and called the two people we both needed.

"Who would do such a thing, Benny?" Anya asked me.

"My ex wife," I said and resumed the position I'd been in for three hours. My elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.

"What does Lana have to gain from this?" Jack inquired.

"My guess? She's hoping to run Jen off and have some chance at this fucking June and Ward life she's painted."

"What are you going to do?" Anya asked softly.

"They were sent to Jen. When she wakes up we're filing a report with the cops. Restraining order. Whatever we can do. Bitch has boarded the crazy train and I'm not going to let her hurt Jen, again," I said forcefully. I heard Jen's voice calling me from her room. "I'll be back." Jack and Anya nodded.

I sat on the bed beside my girl and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Hey, angel," I said quietly and kissed her cheek.

"Hey, handsome," she replied and gave me a small smile.

"You ok, baby?" I asked and she gave a shaky nod. "Anya and Jack are here," I told her. She stiffened. "I told them, I didn't show them. I figured you may want your BFF here." I smiled at her angelic face. She gave me a nod. "You wanna come see them?" She nodded again. "Am I ever gonna hear that sexy voice again?" She shrugged and I had to laugh.

I lead her to the living room and Jack jumped up and wrapped her in a huge hug. "How you doin', baby doll?" He asked. She gave him a shrug.

"Angel? We need to file a report with MPD," I said and placed my hand on her shoulder. She started shaking her head quickly. "Jen, I don't want you to be more hurt."

"I can't let them see this," she whispered and her eyes watered. I was going to kill Lana. She had called seven times since I got to the apartment. I supposed she'd been served. "I need to start looking for another job," Jen croaked, breaking my thoughts.

"We can do that tomorrow, baby," I told her. She gave a single nod.

"Mr. Allen, good to see you again," Colt Dyers extended his hand. "You're a little early."

"Yes. I wanted to talk to you about something before Jen gets here," I said seriously. Colt's brow furrowed and he gestured toward the chair in front of him.

"What's going on?" Colt asked.

"Someone, my bet is on Lana or someone Lana hired, has been following Jen. They have, um, pictures and a video of...us...together. They sent one to her bosses, sent a video to her. It's bad. She lost her job. She won't file a report. She's too embarrassed. I don't know what to do, here. I mean is there something we can do? Legally?" I asked on a sigh.

"Not without turning over the pictures and the video, no," he shook his head and paused. "What makes you think it's your ex wife?"

"She's been acting crazy. She verbally attacked Jen on the phone. She's calling me multiple times a day trying to get back together. She's gone off the deep end," I explained. I felt strange telling him all of this, but I needed advice. This was completely out of my control and I was at the end of my rope.

"Verbally attacked?" Colt repeated with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," I huffed and shook my head. "Jen answered my phone and Lana said...some very shitty things to her. I got her the next morning and let her know that was unacceptable, then the photos started. God, I probably set her off." Jesus. If I hadn't gotten so upset about her attack on Jen, she'd probably never had felt the need to send pictures to her boss, to her. 'I' was hurting Jen. Not purposely, but it was my fault.

"You could file a temporary RO just from the phone calls. You could extend that to Jen," Colt mused. "Ben, I'm going to be blunt. I have the result of the test. It's you. If she's acting this way now...man, you've got seventeen more years of this, at least," he exhaled loudly. "I have an idea. Stay with me now. Perhaps we can find a way to stop this behavior without using the...evidence."

"Okay, I'm listening," I leaned in.

"A PI," he said with a smug smile. "We hire a private investigator to catch her following Jen, or God forbid, confronting her."

"Do you think she would? Confront her, I mean?" He nodded. I hadn't even thought about that. "Do it. If that will make her safe, do it."

My phone buzzed with a text.

'You need to call me NOW!'

Fucking Lana.

"Speak of the devil," I said to Colt. I took my phone out and called her.

"Ben! It's Zach. He's in the emergency room. Baptist. I need you to come here, now," she cried.

"I'm on my way," I hung up and turned to Colt. "I gotta go. Reschedule. Yes to the PI." I bolted out the door.

My phone started ringing while I was in traffic. I love Memphis. I do. History abounds here. It truly is the biggest small town around. Southern charm in spades. But, y'all. Learn to fucking drive!

I picked up my phone. Ben. Probably wants to know why I'm late, again. I am a perpetually late person. I can't help it. Honestly.

"Hey, sweetheart," I answered.

"Jen," he huffed. Uh oh, didn't sound good. He sounded winded and panicked. "Baby, I had to go to the ER. Something with Zach."

"Oh God. Do you need me?" I asked.

"Always, baby, but perhaps you should stay put for now. Lana is here and..." He didn't have to finish. I knew what he was trying to say.

"Baby, I don't give a shit about her. If you need me I'm there," I replied with conviction. This bitch had done enough damage. Fortunately a friend of mine got me a line on a senior accountant job. My initial interview went great. Hopefully I got the job.

I expected Ben to argue, but he shocked me. "Yeah, angel. I fuckin' need you. I don't know how to do this daddy shit."

"Ok baby, twenty minutes and I'm there. I love you, Ben," I answered.

"Love you, angel. See you in a few," he replied and hung up.

I darted through the sliding doors and to the reception desk.

"Zachary Grayson?" I asked the lady.

"Admittance date?" She replied, bored.

"Today," I answered shortly.

"Relation?" She said monotonously.

"His father's girlfriend."

She finally looked up at me. "I'll have to get permission." I nodded. Damn. He wasn't legally listed as his father, yet. That meant they'd need Lana's permission. I decided to take a seat in the waiting room. Way to go, Jen. Really thought this one through.

"Miss." The lady at reception said and waved me over. I stood and went. "I'm sorry, I..." I held up my hand and gave her a smile.

"I know. I'll just wait out here. Can you tell me why he was brought in at least?" I asked. I wasn't too hopeful, but it didn't hurt to ask.

"Crying a lot and stretching and contracting stomach. Probably gas. Mother should know that at this age," she said and gave me a rueful smile. "I'm a step-mother myself."

"Thank you so, so much," I whispered and smiled at her. "Can you tell me if there is any history of colic listed?"

"Let me check," she said and flipped through the chart. "No. No history. Not listed. Prone to ear infections, though," she said conspiratorially.

"Thank you, again. She...we don't get along," I said.

"Don't worry, hon. Just remember the kids are smart. If you're good to them they don't care what momma says," she said and smirked. I grinned back at her and walked back to the seat I was in. I decided to text Anya. She was working today, she could check on Ben for me.

And then I waited.

"I need Zachary Grayson's room number?" I asked the lady at the reception desk.

"Admittance date?" She asked her desk in a bored tone.

"This morning."

"Relation?" She asked in the same tone.

"Father." Father? Weird. Really weird.

"15," she replied without looking at me. "Through the double doors, last room on the right."

"Thank you," I said with no reply. I rushed back to the room.

There are certain things in life that you will always remember in fine detail. The first time you get into a fight. Your first real kiss. The first time you have sex. Your first heartbreak. The first time you make love to the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. And the first time you see your firstborn child.

For most men that takes place upon delivery. The mother sweaty and exhausted, but stunningly beautiful. The baby so small and pink.

But for me, it was the moment I walked into room fifteen in the Baptist Hospital Emergency Room. He was still tiny, at least to me. Chubby cheeks and arms. He was bouncing happily in the center of the bed. His green eyes were alight with amusement.

I've never given much thought to love at first sight. Didn't ever think it existed. But the moment I saw that happy little boy my life was no longer my own. He owned my heart, my soul, my everything. In a split second. And it was scary. More scary than realizing what I felt for Jen. More scary than finding out my wife of ten years had given up on our marriage. The scariest part was that this tiny little person was mine. I'd created him. He was a piece of me.

"Ben," Lana's voice disrupted my musings. "He's beautiful, isn't he?" She said from behind me.

"Yeah," my voice was no more than a whisper. And then, that wonderful little person giggled. I literally felt like I melted into a puddle of goo. "He seems ok," I said, never turning from my son. My son? My son.

"Yeah. False alarm. Just bad gas. The teething causes diarrhea and that can make him gassy," Lana explained.

"Oh." I knew nothing about these things. How was I going to take care of him when he came to visit? "Can I..." My voice broke before I could get it out and I nodded to him.

"Of course," Lana said in a tearful voice.

I walked over to my son and sat on the bed beside him. "Hi Zach." He turned his chubby little face to me. "I'm Ben." He smiled at me and used his plump, tiny finger to poke the obsidian gauge in my ear.

"Eaw," he said and poked it again. Tears stung my eyes. "Eaw," he repeated.

"Yeah, ear," I agreed and pointed to my nose.

"Nose," he said and clapped his round hands. I pointed to my eye. "Eye," he said and clapped again. I pointed to my mouth. "Mouse," he said and giggled.

"He's smart," I called over my shoulder to Lana.

"Yeah," she said thickly.

"Sir," the receptionist came in. I looked over at her. "There's a young woman, says she's your girlfriend here, should I let her back?"

"Yes," I said at the same time Lana said, "No." I turned my eyes on her and narrowed them. The receptionist looked at me expectantly. But Lana spoke up before I could respond. "I am this child's sole, legal guardian. He has no say in the matter and I say, no." The receptionist gave a slight scowl and nodded.

"What is your problem?" I turned to Lana.

"I don't want her in here confusing my child. This is going to be hard enough without that bitch making it worse," she hissed.

"She is a part of my life, Lana. She's going to be around. You need to get over this," I retorted.

"Not if I can help it. She won't come within ten miles of 'my' child," she spat. "Look at him, Ben. Tell me he doesn't deserve a family that is together?"

He did. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. God help me, he did deserve that. I looked back at Lana. I despised her, everything about her. I looked back at my son, I loved him, everything about him. How does a person reconcile the two?

I felt Lana behind me. Her hand touched my arm and I instinctively jerked away. "Ben? We have to find a way to make this work. For him. He needs his mommy, 'and' his daddy," she whispered. I nodded, staring at my son.

But no. No. I loved Jen. She was a wonderful person. She would be wonderful with my son.

I went and picked Zach up. What wouldn't I endure for him? Nothing. He laid his head to my chest and yawned. I smiled down at him.

"We'll work something out, buddy," I said into his hair. I stood there swaying with my sleeping son in my arms for over an hour. Finally I laid him down on the bed. I turned to his mother to say I wasn't giving Jen or my son up, but she planted her lips on me.

And because my life is all about perfect fucking timing, Anya walked in just in time to see it.

I pushed Lana away in time to see Anya walk right back out I the room. "What the hell are you doing?" I shouted at Lana. She gave me a villainous smile and nodded to our son.

"What's best," she sneered.

"Never, in a million years, Lana," I gritted. She just kept smiling. I took off toward the waiting room.

It had been over an hour, but the receptionist assured me everything was fine. I had started a game of Draw Something with Jack.

"Jen," Anya huffed out. She seemed out of breath. Oh God, the baby.

"Anya? Is Zach ok? What's wrong?"

"He's fine," she said and looked down. "God! You're my best friend and I should tell you. If it was me I'd want you to tell me. Jesus!" She rambled.

"What the hell, bitch? Spit it out!" I said exasperated. So fucking dramatic. What could be so bad? Lana called me a fat ass again? Ooh.

"I went to check on Zach, on my break like you asked. Lana and Ben were..."

"Jen! Baby! It's not what you think," I heard Ben's voice call out. What? What the hell was going on? He came rushing to me.

"Go away, Ben," Anya hissed and glared. He glared back at her. What the fuck?

"Benjamin!" Lana called. Oh good God! "Honey, we need you." She called. Ben stiffened and closed his eyes. Honey?

"Will someone, please, tell me what the hell is going on here?" I said loudly and looked at the three of them. "Ben?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Let's go speak in private, angel," he said softly to me. Then he glared at Anya and Lana.

"No! Tell. Me. What the hell is going on, dammit!" I commanded.

"Oh fine," Lana said. "Ben and I are getting back together. Your...services are no longer required."

"Bitch!" Anya screeched and lunged at Lana. What! I looked at Ben, he was glaring at Lana. And to top this whole thing off we were making a scene like a bunch of rednecks in the waiting room.

I placed my forefinger and thumb in my mouth and let out a long whistle. "Jesus, people. This is a hospital," I hissed at the three crazies. "You," I pointed at Anya, "go back to work before they fire you. You," I pointed at Lana, "go be a mother and take care of your child. We'll talk later about what you did, bitch. You," I pointed at Ben, "come with me. We need to talk. Now." Anya looked down sheepishly and turned on her heel. Lana rolled her eyes, scoffed and looked at Ben, who was not paying any attention to her. His eyes were trained on me and his lips were twitching. He gave me a single nod and mouthed, 'I love you'. I narrowed my eyes at him, but couldn't help the smile. 'I love you, too' I mouthed back. He blew out a long breath.

"Ben! Where are you going? Your 'son' needs you!" Lana trilled.

"Then you can either allow Jen back or I will need a few minutes," he retorted and turned back to me.

"What kind of father leaves his sick son for his girlfriend?" Lana said venomously.

"What kind of mother keeps a child from his father," I sneered at her. Bitch! "I told you once, Lana, you don't know me. Nothing about me. But now? You will get so sick of hearing my name you'll wish you'd gone deaf," I was shocked by the calmness and seriousness of my voice.