Roxy

At this, Roxy stopped, wiped her eyes with a small handkerchief she was gripping with one hand and looked down at the floor. She seemed to gather herself again and continued.

"When I found out I couldn't have a baby, it almost killed me. I took it hard and it took a long time for me to get past it. You tried to help me but it was my fault I couldn't accept your help. I thought I had let you down, that you would see it as a failure. You have to understand Jim that all I have going for me is my looks. You're the smart one, the confident one, the one that does everything for me. Right from the start, you were the one who helped me to make it through college. Ever since, you've always helped me make decisions. So, when I couldn't even give you a child, my confidence left me. I was scared that you would begin to look elsewhere.

"That began to eat at me and I finally convinced myself that you would look for some other woman who could give you the children you wanted. That began to eat away at me and all I could think was that you didn't need me anymore. That's the way I was feeling when Roy contacted me to tell me the lie that you wanted to divorce me. He somehow knew that I was feeling insecure.

"He finally came up with the plot to steal your money. I had the crazy thought that it would keep you from going with someone else if you lost your money. It makes no sense to you Jim, I know but I wasn't in my right mind at the time. I was panicked, lost, frightened of losing you. Roy used that. He wanted to screw me, just like all the other men I met. I knew that and I decided to use that to get him to take your money away. I thought that was my only weapon. That was a mistake that I will regret till the day I die."

Roxy had to stop again. I decided to get a glass of water to give her since she was becoming agitated. As I listened to her I felt a small grain of hope grow as the picture she was painting for me began to take shape. It was all true so far, everything I knew and heard from my surveillance. She had made no attempt to lie or change the facts to make her less guilty. That was what impressed me the most. I watched her sip the water, then set the glass aside and turn back to me.

"I had sex with Roy twice, but I faked it both times. He never knew the difference but he was convinced he was a great lover and that he could get me to go with him when he made the money disappear. I wanted nothing to do with him, but I did want you to be broke long enough that I could convince you not to leave me for another woman who could give you children."

Roxy stood, looked down at me and nodded as if to say "There, I finished what I had to say." I looked back at her, and in that instant, made the decision as to what I was going to do. All that time thinking, planning, conniving, making it as hard on her as I could was not even a factor. As I looked at her face, I knew what I had to do. Actually, deep down inside where the real me lived, I never had a choice. No choice at all. All I had lived through, all I had endured from others, the pain and the loss I suffered, the gifts that God gave me to make up for all of it; all that made my decision easy.

"Roxy, I have to ask you some questions. Will you answer me honestly?"

She didn't even hesitate. "I will never lie to you again Jim. I swear to you."

"Fine. Do you love me Roxy?"

"Yes Jim. I love you with all my heart."

"Do you understand that I have no money now and won't for many years to come?"

"Yes, and I don't care."

"I have tickets to Costa Rica, to fly down there to consider a job for a couple of guys that want to hire me to work on a project for them. It's not a very nice place to live but it's what I want."

"I'm glad that you have someplace you want to go. I'm sure you'll do a very good job for them. They must know that to ask you to come down."

"Would you come with me if I asked you to? Knowing it would be a very hard life, with none of the luxuries you are used to?"

"I would give up everything if you asked me to. I would go where you go without question. I would never think twice."

"Would you be my faithful wife there as you weren't here?

"I will never be with another man as long as I live, even if you don't take me back. This I swear to you."

As I said, I had no choice in what I was going to do. I had lived my life as the man others made fun of, that others turned away from in disgust. I was the man who suffered cruelties from those who denigrated others less fortunate then themselves. I was the man who learned to be alone and enjoy his own council. I grew up that way and I lived my life without regret until Roxy came into it. From then on, I was a different person. Normal, with a normal life and a beautiful wife who others admired. I was envied for what I had. And I grew to expect it, that I could be normal, one of the normal ones. I had friends, people that came to my home to be with us. Normal in all respects.

I said one simple, silent prayer then. It was "Please don't take this away again." I looked at Roxy standing in front of me and reached out my hand.

"Roxy, I want you to come with me. I want you to be by my side for the rest of our lives. Will you do that?"

She came to me, put her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. "Yes I will. I promise you I will never fail you again. I promise you will never regret this day."

Epilogue

That was five years and three days ago. Roxy and I and our three kids came back to the United States yesterday following a phone call from Floyd. It seems that the first of the guaranteed payments went into the special account right on time. That account had a nice sum of money in it already, since it was opened five years ago with money from the accounts that were closed on that day. The payments that began at the end of five years were very large and would continue without fail. Roxy knew what was in those accounts but all she said was that it would be nice to start college funds for the kids.

It seems that the weather in Costa Rica was very conducive to fertility. Roxy was pregnant less than a month after we moved there and she delivered a beautiful baby girl nine months later. We had twin girls a year and a half later. Because of the size of our family then, I did borrow some money to buy us a bigger place, and it was still modest by any standard. But we all loved it there and we intended on flying back as soon as we made arrangements. I joined Roxy and the kids in the motel where we were staying.

"Did you take care of everything OK?" she asked when I sank down in one of the deck chairs flanking the pool.

"It's all taken care of. Floyd is very happy. He's making a nice piece of change for acting on our behalf."

"Good. When are we leaving? I want to get home as soon as we can leave."

"I thought you'd like to see the house again, and maybe the places we left behind. Don't you want to spend some of that money? Buy a new home here in the states?"

"Don't be smart! I just want to get home. I think we need to consider a little brother for our three girls."

"What about the money? Aren't you interested in how much we have?"

"No. I just want to go home."

"But Roxy, we're now worth millions. Don't you want to do things, go places, see the world?"

"I told you, I just want to go back to our home."

I laughed and decided to stop teasing her. "We can leave as soon as you pack."

"Silly; I never unpacked!"

Roxy stood, kissed me soundly and went in to get the children ready to leave.