Running Away

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radk
radk
1,347 Followers

"Fine. Soup and conversation goes good with water."

It took us the better part of an hour to eat her wonderful soup and tell each other the basics of our lives. I told her about Pennsylvania and she told me about her home town in Texas. I told her that I'm an unemployed accountant and she told me that she too doesn't work. I told her about Sarah and she said that she doesn't have any children. It's been all superficial and formal but at least it was a start.

"Leo, why are you here? I don't mean to pry but you don't seem like the fisherman type and this is a very remote place. Someone might come here to get away from things. Is that why you're here?"

"Well, it's a very long story. It's also still very painful. I don't really want to think about it right now if you don't mind, maybe later. I'll be here for a while."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry."

"That's OK. How about you?"

"Same thing, long story that I don't want to talk about right now." She pauses for a moment and gazes out over the scenery. "You have a better view of the lake from your cabin. Maybe next time we can eat at your place."

"I'd like that and thank you for dinner. Your soup was great. I can't believe that you could come up with a dish like that on just that small burner. It was wonderful. Well, I should be going. Will I see you at breakfast?"

"Of course. I'll make it a point to come down. Have a good night Leo."

I reached my cabin and stood on the porch watching the sun set over the mountains. It's dazzling to say the least. All I could hear was the wind gently rushing through the trees and the occasional chirp of a bird. Far away was another sound I don't recognize, it may be an owl but I don't know my bird calls that well. Everything was better in person standing here than it ever was on my old high definition TV. "This must be what heaven's like."

********

I usually don't let my food get cold but this morning sitting across from Annabella made time slow to a snail-like pace. It's the same basic food as yesterday: Eggs, sausage, toast, tomato juice instead of orange juice today, and coffee but the big difference is the company at my table. I motioned for Duke and he brought a refill for our coffee. "I'm going to take the other two out on the lake and show them some of the good fishing spots. I'll be gone most of the day. Will you two be all right here by yourselves?"

I looked at Annabella and answered for both, "We'll be OK. Maybe we'll take that nature walk I read about on the website."

As we walked back to our cabins Annabella said, "Uh, Leo. You know that nature walk you mentioned? Well, you took it already when you walked from the dock to the cabins. Pretty, wasn't it?"

Maybe there was a lot less to this place than I read about on the website. She made me smile anyway. "What are your plans today?"

"I don't have anything on my schedule. I usually just sit at the top of the hill on the park bench or on the dock and watch the birds on the lake. When the seaplane comes in I usually help Duke unload the supplies. He never asked for my help but I'll do whatever I can for him. He's giving me a break on rental here because I can't afford much. He may not look like it but Duke is 76 years old. He's been alone in this place ever since his wife died twenty years ago. Duke's quite a character."

"Sitting by the lake sounds good. May I join you?"

"It would be my honor sir," she said with a mock curtsey. So down to the lake we strolled.

I found a couple of old rocking chairs by a shed and brought them up to the dock. We both sat quietly for a very long time. We just rocked back and forth and looked out over the lake and up to the mountains. Annabella turned her head away from me. It appeared like she was starting to cry. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Now I know there's something wrong. Did I say something? What can I do?"

"I'm sorry. I have a lot of stuff on my mind. I don't want to worry you with my problems. I'm guessing that if you're up here you have your own worries. I don't want to add mine to yours."

I looked out over the lake trying to decide whether I should push her or not when an old memory came back to me. "We had a preacher at our church when I was a kid that used to say that if someone had a problem then the best way to get rid of it was to talk to someone about it. Just by talking to someone would make your troubles go away, he would say. If you want to talk I'll be willing to listen. You can't give me any more problems than I already have and maybe I can help with some of yours."

"That's kind of you. I would like to talk to somebody about all of this but it's complicated and very, very personal. It's also embarrassing. You're a stranger. How can I just dump my personal problems on you? "

"Well, how about if we trade stories? I'll tell you a little something about me and then you tell me the same little something about you. You don't have to say anything that makes you feel funny. We can go as slow as you want. I'll be an open book if you want to listen. Please believe me when I say that I won't judge you for anything that you've done. I'll just listen."

"Well, OK, but you go first."

Where to start? Usually starting at the beginning is a good thing. I wondered how much detail was too much. OK, here goes. "I was born and raised on the working class side of a little town called Henley in Pennsylvania. My father made a decent living in the factory and my mother is what we now call a stay at home mom. I have an older brother and sister now living in different parts of the country. After I received my Masters Degree in finance from Penn State I came back to town because my father had a heart attack and my mother needed me to help care for him from time to time. I met a beautiful girl, fell in love with her and we got married. She was a girl from the upper class side of town. Her father owned the factory my father worked in and a lot more. As a matter of fact he owned just about everything in town, politicians and parking meters too. My wife's name is Sheila. When I came back to town I got a job as an accountant at the company owned by her father. She worked at the same company as a personal assistant for her father, that's how we met. Two years ago our daughter was born. God, she made everything so much more enjoyable. I love being a father and I probably would have gone on to spoil her rotten if things had worked out differently. You see, quite by accident I found that I wasn't her biological father. That tore my heart out. I love her more than anything else in the world but she's not mine. I found out that my wife has had a lover since before we were married and he's Sarah's father. When I found that out our marriage just went away. I have all of the proof of her infidelity. So I was going to divorce Sheila and take Sarah and live with my parents until I got back on my feet again. I didn't care that Sarah wasn't my biological daughter, I loved her and wanted her to grow up with me. Sheila's father made sure that didn't happen. He handled the divorce for her and all I got was a big fat nothing. I don't have a job, I don't have a home, I don't have a wife, I don't have my daughter. And I've got to pay her for support for a child that isn't mine. I don't mind supporting Sarah but I can only see her one weekend a month and that's killing me. I have nothing. I was so screwed by the divorce that I just had to get away and figure out how to start over. I don't know if I can start over. I've just got to think things out. That's why I'm here."

"Did you talk to your wife after you filed for divorce?"

"Nope. I had a restraining order preventing me from getting within a thousand feet of Sheila and Sarah. I was fired from my job and evicted from my house. Like I said, her father owned everything and everyone in town so I couldn't do a damned thing. And she never came to any of the hearings, her father and the lawyers handled everything."

"If they took everything from you how did you get here?"

"My mother had some money saved and she gave it to me to get out of town. It was going to supplement their income in their old age. My father couldn't work any more and he has a disability retirement pension so they will be OK. But that's just it, they will be OK, not good like they planned, now they'll be able to live and that's about it. I would like to pay them back but I don't know if that's going to be possible."

The memories were spinning around and around in my head. I felt tense. I felt low again. Every time I thought about my life I got so damned depressed. I couldn't think straight. Somehow Anna sensed my melancholy mood beginning and mercifully changed the subject.

"My story is quite similar. I too came from the poor side of town. My mother and father came from Mexico with my older brother and sister. I was born here. We lived in the Mexican side of Plano Texas. It was not a very pleasant place. My father left when I was eight years old and my mother did housecleaning for a rich family across town. My brother went into the army and was killed in Iraq. My sister married a grocer and now lives in San Antonio and has three kids of her own. I married a man that I met at a friend's wedding. His name is Logan and he worked for a local car parts manufacturer. When I first met him he was a new salesman for the company but now he is one of their senior sales representatives. We dated for a while and he was sweet and kind and always made me feel like a princess. We didn't have a lot of money so when we were married we went on our honeymoon to a local resort hotel. It was wonderful. I felt like everything was perfect. I loved him and he loved me. I had just finished going to culinary school and was looking for my first job as a chef when he told me that he didn't want his wife to work. He said that it made him feel inadequate to have his wife work. I wasn't happy about it but I stayed at home. Over time our marriage went bad. He started out sweet and considerate but after a couple years he became demanding and abusive. I stayed with him and took his abuse for a couple more years. One day something happened that made me sit back and take a look at our marriage. I was no longer a princess. I wasn't happy. I was in danger. Things happened that I hated and I just had to get away. So, one day I was looking on the internet for a place to go when I found the website for Duke's. The next day I took all our savings out of the bank and sold my car and my wedding ring and came here. I've only been gone two weeks. Sometimes I'm afraid that Logan's going to find me and come here. After I run out of money I don't know what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go. I could go to live with my sister but I would be just another mouth for her to feed and besides Logan would find me there eventually. I want to figure out where to go and what to do before I leave here. All I can do is hope."

"Annabella, do people call you Anna? What can I call you?"

"I like Anna."

"Well Anna, you and I are in the same boat. We're recent refugees from a bad relationship and don't know what the future is going to bring. All I can tell you is that I have a little money and if you need some help to stay here and figure out your future I'll be glad to help in any way I can. We can wait and see how it goes but remember the offer."

"That's kind but I don't want to take anything from you. You have your own problems and you'll need all the money you have. But, thanks."

I'm lost in thought staring out over the lake and the conversation has stopped. I looked over at Anna and she too was looking out over the lake, and she had stopped crying. Our long silence was broken by big fish jumping out of the water just a few feet away from the dock. We looked at each other and smiled. "And Duke thinks he knows where the best fishing places are," she said with a little laugh. This helped lighten the mood for both of us. Soon we were talking about our college days. Penn State sounds exciting to Anna even as I try to make it sound boring. Culinary school sounds exciting to me because I'm a big fan of eating. As we talked we become more and more comfortable with each other. Our conversation turned to the dreams we each had as we were growing up. We talked about our pets and our friends. We sat and talked until the sun was straight overhead and the water was so calm it looks like a mirror reflecting upside down mountains from the other shore. God, I love this place.

"Leo, I'm going back to my cabin for a while. I'm going to take a nap. If you want I'll bring a pot of soup over tonight and we can sit on your porch and talk some more. I really enjoy your company. Is that all right?" She stood and ran her fingers across the back of my hand. The reaction in my body was startling and pleasant.

"I would love it. I really enjoy talking to you too. I'm going to stay here for a while. You go ahead on up."

As she left I turned to watch her walk up the dirt path. I was still amazed at the beautiful site of her walking away. Amazed and aroused. I looked at her as she walked away and thought that now anything was possible. I turned back to look at a pair of geese flying over the lake. Before I knew it I was sound asleep in the old rocking chair.

********

"Knock, knock, anybody home?" Anna said through the screen door.

"Hey, let me help you there. Put that down on the table and I'll see if I can find some bowls. Sorry I can't offer you a fine wine but I forgot to pack a few bottles. Maybe when Duke has a supply run we can include a couple."

We each fixed a bowl of another concoction of hers and went to the porch to eat. When we put down our empty bowls, actually after I had two helpings, I sat back and put my heels on the porch railing and my hands behind my head.

She looked over at me all stretched out and comfortable and said, "Just like a man and a dog. A full stomach and now all you want to do is stretch out and go to sleep."

"Where did you learn to cook like that? We had a housekeeper that cooked for us but she never put together something as impressive as that. That was delicious!"

"Thank you. I enjoy cooking and had a great teacher in school. He told us that at one time in his life he was unemployed and had to eat whatever he could find. Sometimes he got leftover food out of restaurant dumpsters and made a soup or a stew with whatever he found. He called it 'Heaven Provides Soup.' My mother used to call it 'Hobo Stew.' Whatever you call it, it works. I just took his idea of taking whatever you have and putting it together in a way that makes it enjoyable. I'm glad you liked it."

We sat in silence for a while looking at the lake. A squirrel came rushing out of the brush and stopped just a few feet in front of us. Just as soon as it stopped another came rushing out and went after the first. They ran around and around chasing one another until finally they both disappeared back into the brush. "I always enjoy a little after dinner entertainment," I said. She just smiled.

"Leo, you said that your marriage went away when you found about your daughter's father. What did you mean by that?"

I took a deep breath and let it out fully before starting. "I was married to Sheila for 5 years. In all that time I never knew that she had a secret lover. Maybe I was too stupid to see the clues. I don't know why I didn't know, but I didn't. When I got the DNA test results I reached the only conclusion I could: Sheila was having an affair. I didn't want to believe it, hell I couldn't believe it, but all of the evidence was there. So I asked a friend from college Ken Houghton to help. He works as sort of a private investigator in Washington D.C. and has a group of people that can find out just about anything. What he found out was the identity of Sheila's lover. He had photos and videos of them in bed together and somehow he found evidence that they had been lovers since she was in college. How could I believe that my wife could be unfaithful to me? I needed to see for myself. I watched the video and I was completely blown away. I watched my life and my marriage dissolve right in front of my eyes on that TV monitor. I was brokenhearted and sick. I cried. I beat the walls. I wanted to die. I wanted to kill somebody. I spent several hours on my motorcycle riding around thinking about what I saw and what I should do about it. The only solution I could find was to get a divorce. "

"I'm so sorry. That must have been horrible for you. It's crazy that someone could live two separate lives and not expect to be found out. What she did to you should be punished. God, what a bitch. Oops, sorry, sometimes it just comes out. Puta!"

"I do understand a little Spanish and that last part is exactly right. You know, I've said the same things myself. But, I don't know if I want revenge. Right now all I want is to get as far away from her and her controlling father as I can. I'm still thinking."

Anna took the dishes back into the cabin. When she returned I turned to hide the tear coming from my eye and wiped my face before she could see me. I think she saw anyway.

"You know Anna, just talking about the whole situation makes me hurt all over again. I really loved Sheila and can't understand how she could betray me like that. You can understand how painful it is when the person you loved is not the person you thought they were."

I saw in her eyes that she knew all too well the pain I'm describing. I put my hand on hers and she began to speak.

"Leo, I told you this afternoon that I feel comfortable talking to you. I know that we've only known each other for a little while but I want to be as open with you as you have been with me. Please understand that some of what I'm about to tell you is hard for me. It's very intimate. I don't know if I can even say these things out loud. Please be patient with me."

I said, "Just talk and don't worry about me. I won't interrupt. I'll be patient and I don't want you to do or say anything that will hurt you."

"OK. Here goes. I told you that my marriage started out beautifully and changed over time into a nightmare. My first signs of trouble were subtle. I thought nothing of it because I loved my husband and wanted to please him. When we were first married our sex life was great. We made love with passion and only occasionally did we just have sex for fun. We didn't do anything weird. A few months after we were married Logan said he wanted to experiment. I didn't really know what he meant but I loved him and trusted him so I said OK. One weekend we were making love and suddenly he started becoming a bit rough. He started pushing me and twisting my skin between his fingers and leaving marks all over me. He turned me over and took me from behind. That was the first time I've ever had sex like that and it hurt a lot. I was bleeding a little bit when he finished. He just smiled at me and said that I was a good wife. He said he wanted more. And over the next couple weeks what he did bordered on brutal.

He would spank me and slap me and pinch me on my breasts and between my legs until I would cry. A couple times he put things up inside me. Once it was the top neck of a beer bottle and another time was this big black plastic penis that he bought. He even tried to get his whole hand up inside me. It hurt a lot. But the more it hurt the more it turned him on. Several times he tied me to the bed and had sex with me. Sometimes I was face up and other times I was face down. He became a mad man the more I screamed and begged him to stop. I remember one time that I was sick with the flu or something and he told me to get in the bed and get ready for him. I said that I was sick and couldn't. He grabbed me and ripped my clothes off and started slapping me until I fell to the floor crying. He dragged me to the bed and tied me to it face down. He started laughing and hitting me on the bottom and the back of the legs with a stick. The more I protested and begged the more he laughed and the harder he hit me. I cried out for him to stop but all he did was tie a pillowcase over my mouth so he couldn't hear my screams. He hit me over and over and over until I passed out. When I came to I was untied and my bottom had something stuck in it that hurt a lot. I reached behind me and pulled out a beer bottle. I just threw it on the floor I was so angry and hurt. I also had this sticky stuff all over my face and hair and I figured out that he uh, ejaculated on my face. I couldn't sit down at all because my bottom hurt so much. I could barely walk. I found him passed out on the couch in the living room. He was passed out drunk. I didn't know that he was drinking because he was doing it outside the house and in the car. Before long he was drinking all the time and at home too. I tried to stay clear of him when he did. Another time he came home after an afternoon of drinking with some of his friends and he was angry that dinner wasn't on the table when he walked in. That's the first time he hit me with his fist. He hit me in the stomach and I fell onto the floor trying to catch my breath. When I tried to stand up he just kept pushing me back down with his foot and laughing. So I just stayed on the floor and cried. He went over to the couch and passed out. I didn't know what to do so I ran into the kitchen and quickly made his dinner and put it on the table. I woke him up and told him that his dinner was ready. He just slapped me across the face. I fell backwards across the coffee table and landed on my back. He got up and went into the kitchen and I heard dishes breaking. Some of them came crashing into the living room. I tried to run into the bedroom and lock the door but he caught me and started to hit me some more. I was almost unconscious when he started ripping my clothes off. He pulled his pants down and started to force his way in between my legs when suddenly he went limp. He blamed me and started punching and kicking me again. I don't remember anything after that. When I woke up I was in bed and he was sitting next to me crying. He said he was sorry he hurt me and it wouldn't happen again. He promised. I was bruised all over and had blood coming from my bottom again. There was so much blood this time that the sheets were soaked in blood, where I was laying. I said that I needed to go to the hospital but he said "no". He didn't want anybody to know what he had done. It took two days before I could get out of bed again and when I did I could only see out of one eye. I was alone when he went to work and when he was home all he did was cry and apologize. I loved this man. How could he hurt me like that? He said that he was going to stop drinking. I listened to him cry and blame everything on his drinking too much and I believed him. So I didn't tell anybody about what he did. I thought it would never happen again.

radk
radk
1,347 Followers