Salvaging A Bad Datebyscarfaccio©
Jesus, what a let down. I'd met her about two days ago. I was having lunch with a buddy of mine in midtown. We were having our usual after lunch drinks and by the third martini a stunning blonde walked in with a friend. They sat a few seats away at the bar.
"Shit, she's looking at you," said Itai. "Say something."
I glanced down the bar and sure enough this little blonde number with an adorable face framed with a cute little bob smiled at me. Itai, always the pal, did the right thing and started things off by falling on the grenade. He occupied the friend with casual banter making the object of my attention available for me to chat with. Two martinis later I had a phone number and a day after that a date scheduled.
My adulation lasted about twenty-four hours. We went for dinner and she couldn't have been more of a bore. The thing that intrigued me about her most was the fact that she was the only person I've ever met that thinks of office management as a worthwhile career choice. Oh well, I guess I was in for the long haul. Hopefully I could just get out of this with a quick drink and curt "See ya when I see ya."
The cab ride to 5th street consisted mainly of her expressing her distaste for my CD collection. Considering my tastes range from Weezer to Prokofiev I found this a bit disturbing. By the time we got to the bar I found myself wishing she had forgotten her ID so I could just walk her home and be done with it. But having no such luck we moved past the bouncer and got some seats at the bar.
The benefit of going to the same bar more than twice is that a good bartender begins to get an idea of how strong you need your drink mixed when he sees you. This was a good bartender and a very large Smirnoff martini was prepared for me soon after I sat down. My "date" ordered, of all things, a Midori sour and began to tell me all about what it takes to organize an office of twenty or so clerical workers. When she ordered another my hopes of a quick demise for this mortally wounded affair were dashed. The best thing about the situation was that my date apparently left her party bladder at home and needed to excuse herself to the bathroom halfway through her second drink.
I was giving serious thought to paying the tab and ditching to Itai's place when I heard over my shoulder "I give you credit."
I turned to see a reason to stay. She was about a head shorter than me with a smile that cut through the pall of cigarette smoke like a laser. Her thick, straight black hair was pulled back loosely into a ponytail. The way her calf length red dress draped off her shoulders added to the air of calm comfort about her. "I'd never be able to sit through that shit."
I chuckled. It was the first time I'd smiled in the last four hours with succubus in the bathroom. She looked to her right end then winked at me before taking a seat a few stools away at the bar. My date had emerged from the women's room and was heading back my way.
My night was looking much brighter. I kept pumping sugary drinks down my date's throat encouraging her frequent trips to the can. The more she drank the more often she excused herself and the more opportunities I had to continue the wildly engrossing conversation I was having with the radiant woman four feet to my right. Topics ranged from music to movies to books to drug culture, everything. Punctuation came in the form of a sloppy drunk blonde culture sink as she staggered back and forth between the women's room and the stool on my left. Two bathroom trips in she introduced herself as Millie.
During my date's fifth trip to the bathroom I looked at Miss Right and suggested we find another watering hole. "What, and just leave the poor thing here to fend for herself?" she asked with a grin. "How is she going to get home in that state? Is chivalry dead?" She had a point. Besides, it was way too much fun continuing to get to know her in this intermittent fashion. Something about having to be slick about it had so much appeal.
My date returned and ordered another Midori sour. Half way through it she looked a little unsteady and excused herself to the ladies room yet again. Millie watched her go. "She doesn't look like she holds her booze too well."
"I think you're right," I replied. "You think she's okay?"
Millie looked back at me with a look that said "Who the fuck cares." The grin on her face said nothing but mischief as she said "Well, we can always go and check." I was way to curious to say no.
We headed back to the restrooms and Millie peeked into the ladies room before pulling me in behind her. I could see my date's heavy soled Mary Janes in the first stall. Millie leaned in and whispered "It's pretty quiet, she must be fine. Maybe we ought stick around just in case," as she slid her hand around behind my neck and pulled my lips to hers. Her teeth bit lightly into my lower lip as she opened her big brown eyes and looked into mine. "I mean, you never know, she could be passed out in there." We heard the toilet flush and dashed out the door giggling.
Back at the bar it was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud as my date returned and informed me about the couple that came into the bathroom while she was in there. "I think they were going to do it," she slurred into my ear with a drunken grin. "I must have scared them off when I got up to leave. Can you believe it? They were gonna do it right there in the bathroom!"
"Oh?" Said I, "And what makes you think that?" I turned back to my drink and saw Millie holding back a chuckle.
"I heard them whispering and then I heard them kissing." They way she spoke when she was drunk made me feel like a pedophile for being on a date with her. Luckily she seemed to be switching to water, which would have the same effect on her bladder but reduce the chances of anything truly unsavory happening. Soon enough she was headed back towards the bathroom.
Millie grabbed my hand as soon as my date had passed her and pulled me back towards the ladies room again. Again she peeked through the door before ushering me in. This time she went straight to the open stall next to my dates. Once inside she pulled me in against her and shut the door. Our lips met quickly and she guided my hand up over her breast. My free hand reached up behind her head and grabbed her ponytail as our tongues twisted. Her hands fumbled with my fly as my fingers tugged her dress down as I massaged her breast until her nipple popped free.
Millie moaned as I rolled her nipple between my fingertips. My date giggled in the next stall. Millie glanced quickly towards the divider before smiling at me. Knowing my date was listening turned her on. Her hand had now fully worked its way into my jeans and was stroking my cock. My knees buckled as she leaned forward and whispered "Fuck me while she listens."
I spun her around as she hiked her dress up to expose her tight round ass. Bent over the toilet she reached back through her thighs and grabbed my shaft to guide into her. I ran my fingers along her wet crotch before peeling her panties aside to reveal the soaking pink folds she was pulling me towards. I yanked on the ponytail wrapped around my fist as I sank into her, pulling her harder against me.
The situation of being in the otherwise occupied ladies room of a crowded Lower East Side bar eliminated all possibility of delicacy. Our goal at this point was strictly to fuck. I grunted as I thrusted into her. Millie yelped as her hips ground against mine. My date gasped in the next stall as she followed along with our every stroke.
The cold air against my slick member jolted me very quickly back to reality. I could hear the toilet in the next stall flushing as I watched Millie spin around. Her face was flushed and painted with satisfaction as she raised a finger admonishing me not to speak. "Wait 'til she leaves," she mouthed before hustling quickly out of the stall and back into the bar. I took a moment to catch my breath and attempt to regain composure before stuffing my gear back into my pants. When I heard my date leave the bathroom I counted to 20 and walk as casually as I could considering the girl I was just buried in to the hilt pulled off and walked back to her seat.
Here's something for everyone at home to try. Go to your local bar on a date and meet someone there. If you have to arrange for that special someone else ahead of time, by all means do so. When your date goes to the restroom, follow her in with your someone else and have sex in the next stall. Now for the hard part: stop before you're done and try not to give it all away as you walk past your someone else on the way back to your seat. I deserved an award for that performance.
"I told you so!" flaunted my date when I returned.
"What are you talking about?" asked I.
"The couple that came into the bathroom last time?" She paused and waited for me to nod acknowledgement. "Well they came in again, and this time they were doin' it!" She emphasized the last bit as if she had just proven the existence of God.
"Did you watch?" I teased.
"That's gross!" she protested before switching back to Midori sours.
Soon enough our little pigeon was on her way back to the ladies room. I got up and followed Millie back without waiting for her prompting this time. We marched straight in guns blazing and into our stall. She turned around and reached for my pants but I had other plans, I didn't really feel like being interrupted again. I kept my momentum moving forward and lifted her up and back against the wall. My hands went to her breasts as I dropped to me knees. She hiked her skirt up again and I was face to face with her neatly trimmed black bush. I was stunned for a second that she found the opportunity to remove her panties in between our visits to the restroom.
My astonishment was quickly overridden by the slow cooked lust that was now on the table. I could see rivulets of moisture glistening on Millie's thighs as her scent hit my nose. I buried my face into her and burrowed my tongue as far into her sex as it would reach. She gasped and dug her fingernails into my scalp. Her reaction and the five or six vodka martinis in my system made me feel giddy and playfully menacing. I reached one hand around and gently squeezed her ass as the other crept up to her crotch. I withdrew my tongue and used it to lick lazy circles around her labia as my thumb prodded into her clit. I began to nip gently at her folds with my lips extracting a quick yelp every time flesh met flesh.
"Holy shit, that's really fucking nice," Millie gasped as she plateaued. I overcame my natural urge to drag things out as I realized once again that, unfortunately we were under the constraint of time. My mouth slid up to pull her clit between my lips as my thumb slipped into her tight canal. A low moan escaped her as her thighs tensed around my temples with her building orgasm. Her fingernails scraped violently over my scalp in time with the low moan she let out as her climax washed over her in earnest.
Now coming down from her orgasm her hands reached down under my chin and began to pull me up the along the long trek between her slim hips. My hands slid across her soft skin pulling her dress up over her breasts as I rose. "You know, if you weren't such a droll little shit," hearing this caused me to pause as I was kissing the tender spot between her breasts. I looked quizzically towards her face and saw her looking up. I turned my face in time to hear her finish as her supple hands once again extracted my cock from my jeans. "You would have just gotten some world class head."
I followed her eyes and saw the flushed red face of my date peering over the divider watching us. The cat now out of the bag I winked at my date as I continued to slowly stand. My date faded out of view as my eyes closed when member, once again under the guidance of Millie's soft hands, met her snatch and slipped between it's soaked folds. I bit my lip and opened my eyes. I saw my date trembling with anger as I began to thrust slowly into Millie who was presses beneath me against the cool tile wall. I smiled at her and she curtly turned away and disappeared.
I turned back to Millie when she left. She threw her head back and laughed as she crossed her arms around behind my neck. When she stopped she lowered her gaze back to mine before leaning forward to run her tongue up my cheek. "All the time in the world now sailor, do your thing." My arm reached around behind her back and held her tight against me as we thrusted together in the last stall of the ACE Bar ladies room. The thick soft hair pulled together into a loose ponytail fell to the middle of her back with her head tilted back. I grabbed it and coiled it around my fist giving light tugs, pulling her further down, and driving her further down onto my shaft.
She was amazing. Her tight, wet pussy pulsed rhythmically as we fucked. Her hands curled over my head as she leaned forward to kiss my ear. Her lips pulled away and she moaned long and low as the pulsing of her sex became more erratic and forceful. My hips pumped harder as she wrapped her leg around my waist and came loudly. She began to shiver as I continued to thrust into her now overly sensitive sex.
She kissed me deeply before pushing me back against the door of the stall forcing me out of her once again. Seeing the look of dismay on my face from being forced out of her a second time she took it upon herself to soothe me. "Hey, we just met, I can't have you cumming inside me. Well, not in my pussy anyway. Don't worry," she continued as she slowly sank to sit on the toilet, "you've got yours coming."
With that she leaned forward and kissed my pulsing cock before running her tongue up the length. Sensing my imminent orgasm her lips parted and she took my length effortlessly into her throat and began to swallow. I had been on the brink with the thrill of the whole experience and came immediately. She continued to swallow until my orgasm began to wane. She then leaned back and with just the head of my cock in her mouth stroked the length of my shaft, squeezing me dry.
My head thudded back against the steel door. When my eyes refocused she was calmly sitting in front of me reapplying her lipstick. When she was done she wrote her name and number on my abdomen with her lipstick before leaving yet another mark by kissing my navel with her freshly painted lips. "Just make sure you remember to call me. We'll go get dinner sometime."