Salvation

As I walked up the stairs into the community center, I kicked the snow off my boots and pulled my cap and gloves off and shoved them into my pocket. I saw the "TOY DROP OFF" sign and followed the arrow down the hall.

I walked up to the table with the bag containing the three toys I had bought. I didn't have a lot myself, but I always felt that it was important to give to those in need. Hopefully three kids would have a little better Christmas because of me.

The volunteer, a kind looking woman who reminded me a little of my grandmother, took the toys and gave me a donation receipt for my taxes.

"Thank you so much, sweetie," she said.

"It's no problem," I said with a smile.

I stepped out of the way and noticed a sign that said they were looking for pen pals for prison inmates.

"Were you interested in writing an inmate?" the kind woman asked me.

I thought for a second and shrugged. "Oh. Um. Sure. Why not?"

She pulled out a stack of printed pages.

"Are you looking to write a man or a woman?"

"Um... A man," I said quietly.

"We don't have a lot of those," she said as she flipped through the stack. "Oh. Here's one."

She handed me the paper and I looked it over. Marvin Kellogg was his name. He was the same age as me, 30. He still had over two years to go on a ten year sentence. I couldn't even wrap my head around going to prison at 22 years old. The bio had some basic information. He was single, with no kids and grew up in Detroit. It said he was looking for men for friendships or relationships. He looked a little bit rough in his picture, kind of brawny with dark hair and a moustache. He was kind of smiling, but even in the picture his eyes looked so sad. So lonely.

I knew what it was like to be lonely.

I nodded at the woman and I folded up the paper and put it in my pocket.

She gave me a smile. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you, too."

I bundled up in my coat and headed to my car to go in to work.

I pulled into the Corbin Tree Services parking lot a short drive later. I unlocked the door to the employee entrance and turned on the lights and made my way to my office.

My dad, Gary Corbin, started Corbin Tree Services 35 years ago. We specialize in tree and stump removal, pruning, relocating and planting. Basically anything to do with trees. This time of year we are really busy. With all the ice damage to the trees, we get a lot of customer calls to clear fallen trees and trim branches.

I work in the office, basically running the business. In addition to doing all of the accounting, I take customer calls and schedule our trucks. Dad works out in the field with the employees and works a lot with the corporate customers.

I started up my PC and hung my coat up in the closet. I went to the break room and started a pot of coffee. As I left the break room, I heard the front door unlock and beep and Dad walked in.

"Mornin', Danny," he said to me.

"Hi, Dad."

Dad clapped me on the back as he walked past to the break room. I followed him into the break room and we both got cups of coffee.

"How was your weekend, son?" he asked as he leaned against the counter and sipped his coffee.

I grabbed the sugar and poured a little into my coffee. "It was okay. I bought some toys for the toy drive. Um... I went to the movies... out to eat..."

"By yourself?"

"Yeah," I shrugged. "So?" I said defensively.

"I'm just... I'm worried about you. I don't want you to go through life alone."

"I'm okay, Dad. Besides, you're alone and you're happy, aren't you?"

"That's different, son. I had 20 good years with your mother. And I have you."

Dad put his hand on the back of my neck and squeezed, then added with a chuckle, "That's not to say that for the past 15 years, I neglected to get my 'needs' taken care of."

I cringed. "Oh god, Dad. I don't want to hear about that!"

We both laughed.

"Son... You, uh... You met any guys to take care of your, uh..."

I squirmed uncomfortably. I know it was hard for Dad to talk about guys, so he must really be worried. But I was not about to discuss my sex life, or lack thereof, with him. "Dad, can we change the subject please?"

"I'm just worried about you, Danny."

"I'm okay, Dad. Honestly."

"Okay," he said with a sigh.

The guys started trickling in and I went and got their logs ready for the day.

After everyone was dispatched, I sat down at my desk and ran the past-due notices and got them ready to mail.

I pulled Marvin's bio out of my pocket and read it over again. I grabbed a pen and a notebook and began writing. I started over a couple of times before finally getting out a simple letter.

Dear Marvin,

Hi. My name is Danny Corbin. I received your bio from the community center and thought I would write you.

I'm also 30 years old. I work for my Dad's tree service company, running the office. It's not very glamorous or exciting, but it pays my bills and I'm good at it.

I'm a single gay man. I'm not really looking for a relationship right now. I have a hard time meeting people. I find that most guys aren't interested in really getting to know you. It kind of sucks. I guess I'm afraid of getting hurt, you know?

I have two stray dogs that I adopted, Harley and Bandit. They are a handful, but they are good dogs. They are both mixed breeds. Bandit is brown and kind of small and looks like some terrier and chihuahua mix maybe. Harley is a little bigger and a little fatter. I'm not sure what he is. But he's mostly black and kind of fluffy.

I hope to hear from you and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas.

Danny

I put the letter into an envelope and addressed and stamped it, then dropped it in with the outgoing mail.

***

I received a letter in the mail from the state penitentiary about two weeks later. I laid back on the couch with the letter. Bandit jumped up on the couch and pushed my legs apart and laid down with his head on my thigh.

I opened the letter and rubbed Bandit's head while I read it.

Danny,

Thanks for your letter.

People call me Moose not Marvin. A nickname I got on my high school football team. It kind of fits me.

It sounds like someone hurt you in the past. Don't let that stop you from living your life. A guy like you must have a big heart taking in strays and writing to convicts.

You didn't ask, but I know your dying to know. I killed someone. They called it vehicular manslaughter. I was drunk and driving. I got 10 yrs but probly deserve more. If you don't write back, I don't blame you.

Moose

I read the letter a second time. A tear fell down my right cheek and I wiped it away. What he did was so horrible I just couldn't believe it. But it sounded like he needed a friend. I got out a pen and paper and wrote him back. I didn't talk about what he did. Instead, I talked about myself.

Dear Moose,

It's me again, Danny.

I guess I should tell you a little more about myself.

I'm pretty much a loner. I guess it happened after my mom died. I was 14 when she got sick. She died when I was 15. It was so hard on both me and my dad. That was when I kind of closed myself in. I stopped hanging out with my friends and they all moved on. I never really figured out how to make friends after that.

Dad was always there for me, though. When I told him I was gay, I knew that he didn't like it and it made him really uncomfortable. But he tried to smile and he said he loves me no matter what. It's really hard for him to talk to me about guys and dating, but he tries. I think he is scared that I will be alone for the rest of my life, or that someone will hurt me if they find out I'm gay. I think it also makes him sad that I'm his only child and he will never have grand kids.

I've only had one boyfriend. I dated Silas for a few months. We met on my 21st birthday. I forced myself to go out and have a drink at bar. I found out that I don't really like the taste of beer. I'd rather have a pop. But I did meet Silas there. He was my first and I was so in love with him. But apparently he didn't feel the same way since he dumped me for someone else. I've gone out with a few guys since then, but nothing that lasted.

I know this is a stupid question, and you probably get asked it a lot and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but what is it like in prison?

I hope you had a happy New Year.

Danny

When he wrote me back a couple of weeks later, I was very excited to read his letter.

Dear Danny,

Thanks for writing back. I really didn't think you would.

My mom and dad disowned me after what I did. I don't blame them. I'm an only child, too.

I'm glad that your dad is trying with you. It means he really cares about you.

After I got out of high school, all my buddies pretty much left for college. I couldn't afford to go. I fell in with the wrong crowd. Partied too much. I got drunk and smoked and got high every weekend. I fucked up and now I'm paying the price.

Danny. Prison sucks. I hope you never have to find out first hand. We are locked up in our cells most of the day except for meals and showers and 1 hour of rec time. I do a lot of reading. My cell mate is a pig. He farts all day and all night long. All the guys here are animals. The worst thing is how lonely it is. Your never physically alone, but mentally its just me and my thoughts.

Promise me that you will keep clean. I don't want you to ever end up here. The guys here would break you.

That picture you have of me is a couple years old. Do you have a pic you can send me? I want to know what you look like. If you want.

Moose

I took a picture of myself with my digital camera and printed it out. I looked it over and nodded to myself. I thought I looked pretty good.

I'm 5'10" in height and have always had a thin build, but my tummy has gotten a little soft over the years. I have dirty blond hair and hazel eyes. I have a goatee and moustache and a very thin beard along my jawline. My left ear has a small titanium ball earring in it.

He can't see it in the picture since I'm wearing a shirt, but I have the Superman 'S' shield symbol tattooed on my left arm.

I put the picture in my next letter and mailed it out to him.

Dear Moose,

I enclosed a picture for you like you asked. I hope I match how you imagine me.

Prison life sounds very sad and very lonely. But I guess it's supposed to be a punishment. I think I would be terrified.

I promise that I will keep clean. It's pretty easy for me. I'm pretty straight laced and always stayed out of trouble. I was always a good kid. I never gave my parents any trouble. This is going to sound really nerdy, but I have never tried any kind of drugs, I've never smoked and I've only had one alcoholic drink. Dad sometimes jokes that my being gay is to make up for me being such a good and easy kid. He doesn't mean it in a mean way, though.

If you want me to send you any books or magazines, I will get them for you.

Your friend,

Danny

***

Moose and I began writing regularly. We'd talk about all kinds of things. I told him things that I would never dream of telling to anyone else. I guess having him be somewhat anonymous made it easier for me to open up. He always gave me good advice and made me feel better.

He told me that he has known he was gay for a long time, but he hid it from everyone. He's never even been with a guy, which surprised me, but he's been with lots of girls.

One thing I realized pretty quickly is that he was a good person at heart. He made a terrible mistake and was paying for it, but he couldn't and wouldn't ever forgive himself for what he'd done and that broke my heart. But I tried to put myself in his place. If I had done that, I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself either.

I looked forward to Moose's letters month after month. We wrote each other regularly for nearly two years. I saved each of his letters in a box that I kept on the book shelf.

He always told me that I was a great guy and that someday I would meet someone and I'd be happy.

I did finally meet someone who I hoped would be that guy.

I had found a stray cat outside in the alley behind my house and I took it in, of course. I just couldn't leave it outside in the cold. I was worried at first that Harley and Bandit would not like him, but they seemed okay. Bandit seemed much more interested in playing with the cat than Harley. Harley was lazy. He couldn't care less. I named the cat Whiskers because I couldn't think of anything better. He spent much of the time hiding from Bandit behind the couch.

I decided that I needed to go to Pet Smart to buy some cat food. After I bought the cat food, I went next door to Home Depot to grab some window insulation kits. My windows tended to get drafty in the winter. I walked down the aisle and picked up a few of the packages trying to decide between them.

"These ones are the best," the man standing next to me said. He picked up one of the boxes and held it out to me.

I looked up at him and said, "Thanks."

He was a nice looking guy. Maybe an inch shorter than me, with a thick build. He had brown hair that was slicked back and hung down just past the nape of his neck. He had a couple days of beard growth. He had green eyes. He reminded me of Sawyer on LOST.

He gave me a smug grin and looked me up and down before settling back on my eyes. He was checking me out.

"You need helping hanging those up?" he asked.

"Oh... No, I think I got it," I said quietly.

I gave him a little smile and looked down at my feet.

"You sure? I'm real good with my hands," he said suggestively with a sly smile on his face.

Okay. This is what Dad and Moose were always talking about. This guy was flirting with me. I needed to stop being scared.

I swallowed and cleared my throat. "I mean, I'm not going right home. I was going to stop and grab dinner. At Chili's maybe."

"Is that an invitation?" he asked as he tilted his head back and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

I nodded nervously. "Yeah."

"I'm Leo."

"I'm Danny," I said as I shook his hand.

Leo helped me carry my window kits to the self-checkout and after I paid, he followed me out to my car.

"I'll meet you there, Danny," he said.

His hand touched my back and moved down and ran along my butt. I nervously nodded at him.

The restaurant was just down the street a couple of miles. We walked in together and got a booth for two. He ordered both of us a beer and we started to get to know each other. I didn't like the beer at all, but I did drink about half of it since he bought it for me.

We talked about what we did for a living. Leo drove a forklift at a warehouse.

"Really? Wow, that's so cool."

"It pays the bills," he said with a shrug.

I was able to relax and we had a good time talking. Leo was older than I was; he was 38 years old. He had an older sister whom he didn't get along with. His parents were older and very religious, so they didn't see eye to eye on a lot of topics, including his sexual orientation.

After talking to him, I realized how lucky I was to have a father that loved me and supported me, even if he didn't really like my being gay.

As we left the restaurant, Leo asked me out again. We traded phone numbers and he walked me to my car. He gave me a hug and I went home for the night. I really liked that he didn't try to sleep with me on our first date. It felt good that he wanted to get to know me.

***

Leo and I went out again on Friday night. He picked me up after he got off work and we went out to dinner. Leo seemed to be really into me. He was constantly flirting and touching me. It was so surreal. I just couldn't believe that he was that attracted to me.

When we got out to his car, he leaned in and kissed me. I put my hands on his shoulders and kissed him back. He kissed me hard, pushing his tongue into my mouth. He was very aggressive and I kind of liked that. After a long and passionate kiss, he moved back so that we could take a much needed breath. He gave me one more kiss on the lips and then he chuckled.

"Nice," he said as he ran his thumb over my bottom lip.

"Thanks," I smiled.

He started the car and drove me back home. When he pulled into the driveway, he turned the car off and got out and waited for me. I guess he wanted to come inside. I got out of the car and I escorted him inside the house.

My two mutts ran up and jumped all over both of us. I giggled and tried to get them to sit. Leo frowned and pushed Bandit off his legs.

"Down!" Leo said firmly and Bandit ran and hid behind my legs.

"I'm so sorry," I cringed. "They get excited when I come home. And they don't get to meet new people often."

"It's okay," Leo said and he tried to give me a smile.

Whiskers came out and took a look at us, then ran and hid.

"How many animals you got?" Leo asked.

"Just three. I just found Whiskers the cat in the back alley a couple days ago. And this is Bandit and that's Harley. I adopted Bandit first about five years ago, and Harley a couple of years ago."

"That's sweet of you," he said.

"Thanks. I really love animals. Would you like something to drink?" I asked.

"No, thanks. Come sit down with me, Danny."

"Let me put Harley and Bandit out back to go to the bathroom."

I let the dogs into the backyard so that they could take care of their business. Leo took my hand and we sat down on the sofa.

He took my face in his hands and started kissing me passionately. His tongue pushed into my mouth and explored every inch. He sucked my tongue into his mouth, demanding that my tongue play with his. His mouth moved to my neck and he kissed and sucked.

As we made out, his hands moved down to his pants and he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. He took my right hand and put it on his penis. I looked down into his lap. My hand was wrapped around an average six inch cut cock, very much like my own. It jutted out from a trimmed bush. I gripped his dick harder and jerked my hand up and down while we tongue kissed.

He moved his hand to back of my head and pushed down. I moved my head from his hand and shook my head. I wasn't ready for that yet, so I kept stroking him.

"Spit in your hand," he husked quietly.

I brought my hand up to my mouth and dribbled spit into it. I returned my hand to his dick and got it nice and wet. Leo leaned back and spread his arms on the back of the couch. I laid my head on his shoulder and stroked him off.

His dick felt so hot in my hand. It had been a really long time since I had touched another man. My own dick was straining against my jeans. I couldn't wait for Leo to touch me, too.

Leo pushed up off the couch and stood up in front of me. His dick bobbed in front of my face and I spit into my hand again and started to stroke him.

Leo's hand moved to the back of my neck. "Suck it," he whispered as he pulled my head closer.

"Is it okay if I just jack you off this time?" I asked, looking up at him.

He nodded and I slid my fist up and down his saliva soaked shaft. I flicked my thumb over the head and twisted my hand. Leo groaned loudly. His knees buckled and his breathing grew erratic.

"Faster," he whispered.

I stroked faster and increased the firmness of my grip. I felt his cock swell and throb in my hand. Pre-come oozed out of the head and I swiped it with my thumb and spread it around the shaft with twist.

"Oh fuck," he groaned. "I'm gonna shoot."

His hand tightened on the back of my neck and he pulled me closer. I tilted my head back and pointed his dick down as the first blast splattered all over my chin. The remaining spurts landed on my shirt.

Leo let out a deep breath. "Whew," he breathed.

He grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed up the shaft. A drop of come oozed out and he wiped it on my bottom lip. I looked up at him and licked my lip, causing him to grunt in approval.