Salvation Ch. 02

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robcub32
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"I'm not ashamed of Danny. He's not some dirty secret. I'll agree for now, but I do plan on telling him."

"Of course. Just... Let's not upset your father, this time."

She opened the door and Moose followed her inside. I sat down in one of the chairs sitting against the wall and let out a nervous breath. A moment later, Mrs. Kellogg came out and sat down next to me.

"He'll be fine," she said.

I just nodded and we sat there in uncomfortable silence.

"It's nothing against you," she said suddenly. "I'm just not sure about... all this... I don't really understand..."

"It's okay. We love each other. We just got married, last week actually. We're very happy together. I want Moose to be happy. It's taken him a long time to forgive himself... to get to the point where he is now. I don't want anything to cause a setback. I won't have him upset." I realized that I had raised my voice and I backed down. "I'm sorry. I just... I hate to see him hurt. He's had enough of that. He means everything to me."

I heard her swallow and she placed a tentative hand on my leg and gave it a quick pat. It wasn't very reassuring, but it gave me hope that she might be trying.

She cut her eyes at me, and then looked down. "There's another reason why we asked Marvin to come back home. But now... I'm not sure..."

A doctor walked past us and gave us a smile. He knocked on Mr. Kellogg's door and opened it. Moose stepped out into the hall and looked at me. His eyes were red and watery and he was trembling.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Danny?" he asked quietly.

"Sure."

I got up and followed Moose down the hall. We found a couple of chairs and sat down together. He glanced around the hall and then he took my hand and squeezed it tight. He held it up to his lips and kissed my knuckles. He lowered our hands to his thigh and didn't let go.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm good. He didn't say he was sorry... but he said it was good to see me, so I guess that's something. He said I looked good. That's promising, don't you think?"

"I do. I'm so happy for you, Moose," I said and gave him a discreet kiss on his shoulder. "Did he say anything about the other thing?"

"What other thing?"

"Your mom said there was another reason they asked you to come home besides your dad."

Moose sighed. "I don't know. He looked awful, Danny. So pale. So thin. The cancer has just ate him up. Just a ghost of the man I knew..."

I thought of what I would do if it was my Dad and my heart clenched. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Moose reached over and put his arms around my shoulders and gave me a reassuring squeeze. I opened my eyes and smiled thankfully at him. "I should call Dad and let him know we're okay."

"God. I hate that we had to leave town again after being off a week. I just hope I didn't leave Gary in a bind."

"Moose, your job is safe. You should know that."

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes I still feel like I need to prove myself. I don't want to take anything for granted."

"I know that. And Dad knows that, too. You know he wouldn't have promoted you if you didn't deserve it."

"Not all of the guys think that. Some of them think it's because I'm fucking you."

"Well, they're just jealous. They don't know what they're talking about."

The doctor came out of the room and stood in front of Mrs. Kellogg. Moose and I stood up and walked over to listen to what he was saying.

"It could be anytime," he said quietly.

"Thank you, Doctor," Mrs. Kellogg whispered.

The doctor squeezed Mrs. Kellogg's arm and then walked away to check on his other patients.

Moose put his hand on his mom's shoulder, and then said, "I'd like to introduce Dad to Danny."

Mrs. Kellogg shook her head. "I don't think it's a good idea. He won't understand."

Moose gave her a look that said he wasn't backing down.

She sighed softly. "If it's that important to you..."

"It is. I want Dad to know Danny... before..."

She pursed her lips together and nodded her head.

My stomach did flips as I followed Mrs. Kellogg and Moose into the room.

When I saw Morton Kellogg for the first time, I didn't see any sort of resemblance between him and his son, besides his brown eyes. He looked like he was tall, and perhaps at one time he was a burly man. But now... Now he was gaunt and sickly and despite the way he hurt Moose all those years ago by turning his back when Moose needed him the most, my heart hurt for him. His breathing was labored and he seemed to struggle as he tried to keep his head up. He looked at me with a confused expression.

Moose pulled me to his side. "Dad." His voice was quivering with nerves. "This is Danny. Danny and I are married."

Mr. Kellogg closed his eyes and shook his head. He had a coughing fit, and then looked between the pair of us disapprovingly. "I figured something like that might happen in prison."

Moose opened his mouth, presumably to correct him, but then decided to remain silent.

Mr. Kellogg stared at me and I dropped my gaze, unable to bear his clearly displeased scrutiny. He turned back to Moose and sighed in resignation. "Does he know about Chad?"

"Yes, of course. Danny knows everything. I don't keep secrets from him."

Mrs. Kellogg quickly stepped forward and interrupted the conversation. "We're gonna let you rest, Morton. I'll be back in a little bit."

She leaned down and kissed him on the lips, and then on the forehead.

Moose squeezed his hand. "Bye, Dad."

Mr. Kellogg pulled his hand free, patted the top of Moose's hand, and then said, "Bye, son."

Moose swallowed visibly and his eyes brimmed with moisture. Something told me that Mr. Kellogg's display just now was the most affection Moose had received from him in a long time. Maybe ever. Moose nodded at his Dad.

"It was nice to meet you," I offered.

He appeared very ill-at-ease, but he finally said "You, too" and then closed his eyes with a sigh.

***

We followed Mrs. Kellogg down to the cafeteria. We went through the line and got some sandwiches and let Moose pay the bill. The three of us sat at a small round table in the back corner where there was a little more privacy from the rest of the patrons.

I unwrapped my turkey sandwich and just picked at it. I looked at the other two and noticed they were doing the same thing. An uncomfortable tension filled the air, thick and stifling.

Mrs. Kellogg pushed her sandwich aside. "So what have you been doing these days, Marvin?"

"I work for Danny's father, Gary. He owns Corbin Tree Services."

"Moose is our crew supervisor," I said with pride.

"Supervisor?" she asked with surprise. "That's a lot of responsibility."

"Yes, ma'am," Moose said modestly.

"It sounds like maybe you've turned your life around then."

"I'd like to think so."

Moose glanced at me and I gave him a look that let him know how much I loved him and how proud I was of him.

Mrs. Kellogg's eyes grew misty and her hands started to shake. "Marvin... I... I don't know how to tell you... I thought it was a mistake then, but the Turnbills and your father... After Chad died and then you... um, went away..."

She grabbed a napkin and dabbed her eyes and then continued, "James Turnbill died a couple years back. Esther, well, her health isn't doing so well these days. And Kelly... She's been in and out of rehab... She can't stay off the booze and drugs. This last time she left before her treatment was over and she disappeared... I thought she might have kept in touch with you?"

"I haven't talked to Kelly Turnbill in well over twelve years, Mom. Not since before the accident."

"She was pregnant," she whispered.

My mouth fell open and Moose looked at her in shock. "What?"

"She was pregnant. They agreed that you were to never know. It wasn't right. I'm sorry, Marvin."

Moose stood up abruptly and his chair flew backwards and clamored to the floor. He stormed out of the cafeteria.

I wanted to go and chase after him, but I was so stunned I couldn't move. It hurt. Even though he didn't know, the thought that he had a child with someone was like a knife to my heart.

Moose walked back in and leaned his hands on the table and glowered at his mother. "You had no right to keep that from me. No right!"

He pushed from the table and paced back and forth, muttering curses under his breath.

"I know, Marvin. But you were convicted and... Well, James, he never forgave you. Chad was his only son--"

"I know that! You don't think I know that? He was my best friend and he died. He died and it was my fault. I think about him every day and it kills me inside. Every day, Mom."

I realized a hush had fallen over the cafeteria and everyone was staring. I was close to tears, but I took in a breath and remained strong and calm for Moose. I stood up and took Moose's hand. He was shaking and I could tell that he was close to losing control. "Moose," I said quietly. "Please. Sit down."

He pulled me into a tight hug. He dropped his forehead onto mine and took a few deep breaths. I gently rubbed the back of his head and his back and his breathing slowed and he relaxed into my arms.

"That's better," I whispered. "It's okay."

He let go of me and picked up his chair and set it back on its feet, and then sat down.

Moose took a bite of his sandwich and stared into space as he chewed. "Kelly and I only went out like two times... We weren't in love. It was... To be frank, it was just drunken sex..." He then added in a quiet mutter, "And not very good."

"All it takes is one time," she said with a shrug.

Moose hesitated for a moment, and then asked the question I was dying to. "Are you sure it's mine?"

"I had my suspicions at first. But Chad is the spitting image of you."

"Jesus. She named him Chad..."

"Yes. Kelly insisted. She also had you listed as the father on the birth certificate against her father's wishes. His name is Chad Marvin Kellogg. He just turned twelve."

Moose buried his face in his hands. After several calming breaths, he raised his head and looked up into his mother's face. "Where is he?"

"He's living with Esther Turnbill right now. She can't take care of him. She has health issues and he... He is a... handful. Esther wants us to take him. We see him on occasion and we send child support payments when we can. But your father and I decided he should live with you, what with him being sick and all."

Moose took a deep breath. "When can I meet him?"

***

When the car pulled up in front of the hospital, Moose and Mrs. Kellogg stood up. I really wished we could have done this somewhere else, and taken the time to do it more gently. But I understood the need to remain close to the hospital and Mr. Kellogg. Just in case...

I remained on the bench, observing, not wanting to be in the way or to cause any additional stress on an already tense situation.

A frail woman got out of the car and opened the trunk. The passenger door opened and a boy got out of the car. I looked at the husky twelve-year-old's face and I knew that he couldn't have been anyone else's child. He was big for his age. His hair was trimmed down to a crew cut, and it was the same color as Moose's. He also shared Moose's brown eyes. And like when I first met Moose, they were filled with pain.

Chad shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground with a scowl on his face.

Moose walked up to Esther Turnbill. He dipped his head sincerely. "Mrs. Turnbill, I--"

She raised her hand as if to slap him across the face. She pulled back and covered her mouth. She burst into tears and Mrs. Kellogg pulled her into her arms and led her away to comfort her. I wanted to go to Moose so bad, but I pushed my hands under my knees and remained seated on the bench.

Moose moved in front of Chad and squatted down. "Hi, Chad. I'm Marvin Kellogg. I'm your dad."

"You're not my dad," he said as he folded his arms across his chest. "My dad died!"

"I know that's what they told you... Your grandma, she didn't try to explain...?"

"I don't believe her. My mom and grandpa wouldn't lie to me."

"I know this is all confusing and sudden... But it's best if you stay with me, at least until your mom is better."

"Whatever," Chad said.

The boy's chin started to quiver and he turned away from Moose. His shoulders shook and Moose stood up and pulled the boy into his arms. Chad cried wracking sobs into Moose's chest. Moose held him tight and rubbed his back, whispering comforting words into the top of his son's head. Moose lifted his watery eyes and looked at me.

I sat there and watched with tears falling down my face. I sniffled and wiped my cheeks.

Chad suddenly pushed Moose away and his mood turned angry. "Get away from me! Just leave me alone!"

"Okay," Moose said as he held up his hands and stepped away. "Why don't we put your things into my truck? Okay?"

"Whatever. Do it yourself. I don't care," Chad said. He went and sat down on the curb and folded his arms across his chest.

Moose sighed and looked at me, clearly wanting me to rescue him. I shrugged and looked at him helplessly. I didn't know what to do either.

"Let me help you, Moose," I said. I walked over to the car and pulled a suitcase out of the trunk.

Chad scoffed. "'Moose'? That's a stupid name."

"It's a nickname," Moose said.

Chad rolled his eyes. "Duh."

I helped Moose carry all of Chad's things to the truck. It took the pair of us two trips to bring the suitcases and boxes and load them into the bed of Moose's truck.

Moose pulled me to the side of the truck and hugged me. He leaned his head on mine and sighed deeply. "Jesus, Danny. What am I gonna do? I didn't even ask if all of this was okay with you. It all just happened so suddenly."

"You don't have to ask, Moose. He's your son. This isn't exactly how I envisioned a family with you, but... We have to take care of him. He's your responsibility."

"He's so hurt and so angry. I don't want to make it worse for him. I'm fucking scared to death. What if I fuck it all up?"

"He needs stability and love. You can give him that."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. You gave that to me and I guess I turned out okay."

We both laughed softly. "Yeah. You turned out great."

Moose looked up over the top of his truck. He pulled me closer to the front out of the way of anyone who might be looking. He leaned his head down and gave me a soft kiss on my lips. I pushed up and returned his kiss. After one final quick kiss, we walked back.

Chad was standing with a stoic expression on his face as his grandmother told him goodbye. Moose and I hung back, not wanting to intrude or cause a scene with Mrs. Turnbill.

Mrs. Turnbill was in tears as she got into her car and left. I followed Moose to Chad's side. Moose rubbed his hand on Chad's back and Chad shot him a dirty look and squirmed away. Chad's eyes were bloodshot and he was trembling slightly, barely holding it together. I admired him for his brave face, but I knew that it was just a front. He was hurting inside.

Moose put his hand back on Chad's shoulder. "Chad? I want to introduce you to someone."

I stepped forward and held out my hand. "Hi, Chad. I'm Danny."

Chad ignored my hand and I finally dropped it.

"I live with Danny," Moose said. "He and I... are... um... good friends." Moose winced at his fumbling.

Chad rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid. I know he's a fag, and so are you. I knew that the first time I saw you guys together."

Moose took a deep breath and I could tell he was counting before he spoke in anger. "We're just getting to know each other, so I am going to let that slide this time. But if I ever hear you call Danny the F-word again--"

"Whatever! I can say what I want. You're not the boss of me. Moose."

Chad snarled 'Moose' with a disrespectful tone that was clearly a challenge. Moose started to grind his teeth. I shook my head at him, telling him to let it go.

Mrs. Kellogg linked her arm around Chad's and tried to diffuse the situation. "Why don't we go back in and check on your grandfather?"

***

Morton Kellogg died the following morning. Though it was hard on everyone, we all agreed that he was in a better place where he was no longer suffering. He was cremated and the service was held without delay, since all of the arrangements had already been made.

After five long and emotionally exhausting days, we would finally be leaving the following morning, taking Chad home with us.

Tonight would be our last night in the house that Moose grew up in. I, for one, was glad to be leaving in the morning. I'd had enough of the stress of this visit and I longed to be home in my own bed. I also felt a strong need to see my Dad, to physically hug him and to tell him how much I loved and appreciated him.

I watched from the doorway as Moose tucked Chad into bed. Chad was sleeping in Moose's old bedroom. I looked around the room and it just made me sad. It was devoid of anything that would have reminded the Kelloggs of Moose. It was just another guest room with a single twin bed.

"You don't have to tuck me in. I'm not a baby."

Moose sat down on the bed and adjusted the blankets around his son. "I know. But I wasn't around when you were a baby, so just humor me."

"Whatever," Chad said quietly.

Moose let out a grunt, then grumbled, "I'm gonna have to break you from that word."

"Whatever, Moose."

Moose ran his hand over Chad's head, and then bent down and kissed him on the forehead.

"Knock it off," Chad said as he turned his head away.

Moose got up and I could see a momentary flash of hurt on his face.

"Night, Chad," Moose said.

"Goodnight, Chad," I added.

Chad rolled over onto his side. Moose turned off the light. As he shut the door, Chad quietly said, "Goodnight."

***

Moose turned off the light and crawled into bed with me. The queen-sized bed in the guest room had to have one of the most uncomfortable mattresses ever created. It was old and lumpy and sagged in the middle. After we adjusted to try to get ourselves comfortable, Moose pulled me to him and hugged me tight.

"I talked to Dad," I said quietly. "He's nervous -- but excited -- to meet Chad. He spent all day yesterday fixing up our guest room for him."

"I really hope he didn't do too much. Sometimes your dad gets carried away when he gets a project."

"He's more than happy to do it. He said this is the closest he'll get to having a grandson. He's over the moon."

"Huh. I hadn't thought of it like that."

"Well, I told him to calm down a little bit. He barely accepts that you're his father. It might take him a while before he looks at me like a parent and my Dad as a grandparent. Hell, he might never see me as a parent figure."

"I guess I can't fault your Dad for trying. He's a good guy."

"Yeah. I'm so sorry about your Dad, Moose," I whispered. Tears filled my eyes and I lovingly stroked the hair on his chest.

Moose tightened his arms around me. "It's okay, baby. I'm just grateful that I had one more day with him. A day where he knew and accepted the real me. A day where I was his son again."

"I'm so glad he got to see what a wonderful man you grew up to be."

We quietly laid together, hugging and touching and kissing tenderly.

"I love you, Danny."

"I love you, Moose."

Moose reached up and ran his hand over my clean-shaven face. "I like you smooth," he said.

"Yeah? To be honest, I shaved off my beard because I accidentally cut through it while trying to trim it before the wedding. My hands were shaking. Nerves."

Moose chuckled. "It took too much time to get it lined up along your jawline like that. I don't have the patience."

"I like your beard, all full and thick. I don't want you to shave it off."

"Nah. It's low maintenance. Plus, I got this little hottie who keeps it trimmed short and edged neatly for me."

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