tagExhibitionist & VoyeurSarah is 90 Years Old

Sarah is 90 Years Old


It was very late and everybody was asleep. I heard a noise. It was a very soft noise and I didn't recognize it. I thought it must have been the dog or cat into something so I went to the balcony and looked over the railing but there was total darkness down there and no more noise. The house is at the end of a gravel road in the woods in northern Idaho so it is always perfectly quiet except for coyotes, owls and frogs. It can be very dark with only stars and moonlight trickling in. As I peered over the edge into quiet darkness I saw an odd, faint hue of a blinking blue light somewhere down there. I didn't know what it was, where it was coming from, or from inside or outside.

I slowly crept down the stairs. When I got near the landing I quietly called out, "Anybody down here?" And when I reached the bottom of the stairs Sarah was standing right there. I could barely see her in the darkness. I was confused; why was Sarah down here in such darkness?

Sarah is Beth's grandmother. She's 90 years old and not able to take care of herself. Beth wanted to be Sarah's caregiver for the summer giving her mother a break. I've known the family for over fifteen years. Beth and I used to be a couple but now we are best friends. I'm self-employed and live in the "big city" but business takes me to Beth's small town frequently and I stay there for four or five days at a time. Since Sarah is now using the guest bedroom, I sleep in the loft.

Sarah is a sweet old woman, barely eighty pounds, her memory is fading, can't do much except read Reader's Digest in big print, feed the cat, she slowly shuffles about the house but needs a cane when outdoors. She's often confused about ordinary things like what month it is, balancing her checkbook, or where she lived last year. She often says strange things that don't make sense and does funny things that show her senility. If it wasn't for her family she would be in a nursing home.

I said, "Sarah, what's going on down here? Why are you here in the dark?" It was so dark that I barely saw the outline of her face so I knew she couldn't see my nakedness.

All she said was, "Brad, please stop the blinking lights."

I said, "Sarah, I'm sorry but I'm naked. I didn't think anybody was awake. I came downstairs to investigate something. What are you talking about--blinking lights?"

She didn't make any comment about my nakedness; she just repeated herself, "Can you please stop the blinking lights." I still didn't know what she was talking about but I could see somewhere that there was a very faint blinking going on.

"Can you stop the blinking lights?"

"Sarah, I'm naked. I shouldn't be down here like this."

"Oh, don't be such a fuddy-duddy. Nobody can see you in this darkness. Just fix the blinking lights, please."

I didn't quite know what to do. I don't have a problem with nudity. Beth and I hang out naked all the time before Sarah moved in. It just didn't feel appropriate being naked around her grandmother. She obviously didn't have a problem with it and it was so dark that she couldn't see anything anyway so I followed her to the source of the blinking lights.

Earlier that day we had a power failure and electricity was out for a couple of hours. In northern Idaho it stays light in the summer until 10:00 and we all went to bed before it got dark. Only when it got dark it was noticeable that the oven and microwave clocks were blinking the time to be reset. "Please stop the blinking lights, Brad?"

The kitchen has more windows so a little more light was coming in and with these two blinking clocks; Sarah was a bit more visible. So was I. She wasn't concerned about my nakedness as she pointed and pleaded, "Here. Here are the lights. Please make them stop?"

I didn't know what to do. I could tell her, no, I don't know how to fix the lights so let's just go to bed and we can fix them in the morning. I could tell her, yes, I'll get some clothes on, and come back down. I could tell her to leave the room and I'll fix them. It was an odd feeling, kind of scary, kind of titillating, to be talking to Beth's grandmother like this. I decided to leave it up to her. I said, "I can stop the blinking lights but I have to turn the kitchen lights on to find the right buttons to push."

"Do it, please do it, Brad."

"But I'm naked."

"It's not a big deal. Please stop the blinking lights."

I said, "I'll be honest with you, Sarah. It doesn't really bother me if you see me naked. It just seems a little odd, don't ya think?"

Sarcastically, she replied, "What do you want me to do, close my eyes?"

I said, "Okay, fine." I quickly turned the kitchen light on, stopped the blinking clocks as fast as I could, then turned the kitchen light back off and then we were back in darkness again. The whole process took about five seconds.

I turned to go back up the stairs but Sarah wanted to talk some more. So I stayed and talked. Standing in the kitchen, there was more light with the big window and my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I could faintly see Sarah's facial features and her bathrobe so I knew she could faintly see me as well. I was actually quite comfortable in the darkness just chatting with her. She's usually quiet and solemn but now she was lively, friendly, and talkative. In fact, it was fun standing there talking to her. We don't normally get into conversations just the two of us. She was unusually talkative and kept the conversation going so I wouldn't go back up the stairs. Eventually, we said our goodnights, Sarah shuffled down the hall to her bedroom and I went upstairs.

The next afternoon Sarah and Beth were sitting side by side on the deck and I was playing with the dog when I said, "Hey Beth, last night Sarah saw me naked" and Sarah started laughing and laughing with a girlish redness flushing her face.

Beth screams, "What? What? What happened last night?"

I told Beth the whole story; the noise, the faint light, me going down the stairs naked, finding Sarah there in the dark, fixing the blinking lights, talking to Sarah in the dark. I told the whole story. They both laughed hysterically but Sarah was as red as she could be. Sarah doesn't laugh much anymore so it was fun to see her laugh and have such fun at my expense.

A few weeks later...

I'm a 31 year-old active guy in pretty good shape. I was telling Beth that I joined the gym to get back into shape. "You're in perfect shape, what are you talking about?"

"I weigh eleven pounds more than I did when I graduated from High School and I'm going to lose those eleven pounds. I want to get back to my ideal weight."

Sarah was close by reading her big print Reader's Digest when she got up to join our conversation asking, Who's going on a diet?" Sarah has to know everything going on.

"Me, but I'm not going on a diet; I'm just eating right and working out at the gym to get myself in better shape."

"There's nothing wrong with your weight. You look great. Show us."

So I lifted up my shirt and showed them my stomach. "I've already lost four pounds so I have seven more pounds to get myself in my ideal weight."

"Well, when you get yourself in ideal weight you must show us again."

"Okay, I will."

"You will show us everything, right?"

"Of course, yes."

I didn't realize what Sarah meant by "show us everything" until a few more visits. Every time I came to stay with Beth, Sarah asked me, "Are you down to your weight yet?"

And I always said, "No, not quite."

Beth and I talked about this, "Your grandmother is hinting for me to show my body when I lose my weight."

"Then show her."

"But she's hinting at me showing myself naked."

"Brad, what's the big deal. Think about it. She's 90 years old. She was married for nearly 70 years and he died two years ago. She married as a teenager. There's a good chance that grandpa is the only man that she's ever seen naked. Maybe she's just curious. What's the harm?"

"You want me to show myself off to your grandmother?"

"Grandma adores you. She always has. I know she can be a huge pain in her old age but you are always so good to her. Whether she's with mom or me, it's just us two women and Sarah has no contact with anybody else and she loves the contact with you as a man. When you're not here she is always in her robe. When you're here she gets dressed. She's always asking, when is Brad coming again? You make her smile and laugh in a way that I can't. She's a different person when you're here. She usually sleeps all day, sad and lonely, feels worthless, and doesn't enjoy anything. When you're here she's cheerful. She even walks without her cane more. You don't notice the change but I do."

"Have you two ever talked about that night when I fixed the blinking lights and she caught me naked?"

"Yes, a couple of times. She had fun with it. She giggles when we talk about it. You're a good-looking man, Brad. You are also 60 years younger than her. Don't let it go to your head, but to her, you are the sexiest hunk alive. If she wants to look at you then what's wrong with that? Make her day. I think it's cute that she acts this way. It would be good for her in so many ways. She only has a year or two more to live, Brad."

I thought a lot about this. It was around this time that I realized that I had an urge to be an exhibitionist. I didn't realize this about myself. I had a girlfriend a couple years ago that liked to show off her body and I found it very sexy. But I never thought about ME being an exhibitionist. I started having fantasies about showing myself off to this old woman. I really wanted to do it. Looking back to the night of the blinking lights, I could have played this game better. I could have spent several minutes trying to reset those lights instead of just a few seconds. I didn't have to rush to get the lights off. I often wondered what she would have done if I was naked for several minutes in the bright kitchen light rather than just a couple of seconds.

Whenever she asked if I was down to my perfect weight yet, I always replied, "No, not quite." Her memory is failing and she sometimes asked me the next day... and then the next day. Sometimes twice in a single day. I merely replied, "Just about" or "I'm almost there."

One time I decided to tease Sarah a little. I replied, "Sarah, I think you just want to see me naked."

She said, "What's wrong with that? I've seen you naked before."

"Yeah, but that was in the dark."

"It wasn't always dark; I saw some. You're not going to turn modest on me are you?"

I couldn't help but laugh to myself at her boldness. I had already convinced myself that I would do it; it was just a matter of when and how to do it. I was truly looking forward to her reaction to my nakedness. Oddly, I was a little frightened as well.

One day Beth needed to go into town and asked me if it was okay if I "babysat" grandma for a couple of hours. I replied, "Take your time; I'm going to show Sarah everything while you're gone."

Her mouth dropped open and exclaimed, "You are? Really? Okay, but you have to tell me everything when I get back."

It was a warm afternoon and Sarah and I were out on the deck talking. I was drinking wine. I was going thru a kind of anxiety about showing myself off to her. I wanted to do it but I couldn't do it. I was scared to get naked in front of this old woman. I was hoping that she would ask me if I had lost my weight and I would say "yes" and then maybe she would take the initiative but she didn't ask me. I didn't know how to do it.

I went back into the house to refill my wine and told myself, "Do it. Just do it. This is the perfect time."

So I stripped naked and walked to the open deck door. I half hid myself. My right leg was in the open doorway all the way up my thigh and my chest and my face, but the other half of me and my privates were hidden. I was nervous and scared standing in the doorway like this.

I said, "Sarah, would you like me to get you anything?"

She looked over and started to say "no thanks" when she realized what I was doing. Her eyes went up and down my leg, thigh and chest and then she calmly said, "Yes, I would like just a tiny glass of white wine, thank you." Then pointing at my predicament, she continued, "And I want it served... just... like... that."

I chuckled to myself at her flirty remark and went back inside, poured the wine, and walked out onto the deck handing her the glass of wine. I was no longer scared, I knew she was okay with it, and now I get to see this old woman's reaction.

She put her hands to her mouth and exclaimed, "Ohhhh Myyyy... You have a hard-on."

I couldn't believe this frail, little old woman actually said "hard-on" and I smiled and chuckled a bit. One day Beth and I were outside on the deck and I said, "God damn it" and Sarah came rushing out the door wagging her finger at me saying, "Don't you ever speak of the Lord that way again!" So hearing the word "hard-on" come out of her lips was a real shocker.

All I said was, "I told you that I would show you everything." I was beginning to enjoy exhibitionism.

She motioned me to step back a few steps and told me to turn around. I did, but she said, "No. Turn again... but slowly."

I turned again but very slowly this time and then she stopped me when I was sideways to her. I was raging hard showing myself off to this old woman like this and she says, "You are sooo beautiful."

No other woman has ever said that I was beautiful but she said it a few more times that afternoon. She complimented me on my face, my muscles (I'm not muscular), my hair, my butt, everything. She made me blush. I became very comfortable showing myself off and it was very easy to have an erection around her.

I hung out on the deck talking and sipping wine with her for about fifteen minutes when she asked, "Have you seen my flower garden?"

I've seen Sarah's flower garden a million times but she likes to admire it with anybody, anytime. I said, "Sure, let's go out to your flower garden. I'll get dressed and we'll go look."

"Are you cold?"

"No, I'm not cold."

"Then you can come out to my garden just the way you are. It's okay; nobody will see you." Beth lives on the end of a dirt road, lots of land, no neighbors, very quiet and secluded. So we went out to her garden. We walked all around her plants as she described each to me. I've heard it all before but I still listened with interest. I was mostly enjoying being naked in Sara's garden. It was a very erotic experience for me.

We spent another hour out there together in her garden talking and visiting. She was the happiest that I've ever seen her. She walked without her cane, she waved her arms about, and she was talking and giggling and was more alive than I've seen in years. She was not shy about looking at me and always gave me compliments. Several times she asked me to turn around so she could look at me. She liked being bold and upfront about looking.

I picked up my empty wine glass and asked Sarah if she wanted some more herself. She parted her thumb and index finger an inch apart and smiled and nodded. While in the house I got myself hard again then walked back out to her garden. She was watching me return so I quicken my pace so that my cock was bouncing every which way. She stood and watched me approach smiling broadly. She got serious and said, "My Henry was a very modest man. To him, nudity was only for bedrooms and bathrooms. He never walked around nude."

I hate it when Sarah talks about Henry. She often gets misty eyed and cries a little and I didn't want Henry to ruin this afternoon so I didn't say anything. Sarah didn't get misty eyed this time and continued, "I have never in my life seen a naked man out doors. Thank you, Brad, for being so nice to me. You look best when you're hard; that's what a man should look like. You are sooo beautiful." I was really taken aback with her compliments and honesty. She was never vulgar, was always polite, she just wanted to look at me. We walked back to the house (I should say we shuffled back to the house) and when I offered my arm to assist her up the steps, she grinned like a teenager and grabbed my arm. I had so much fun showing myself off to her. I also enjoyed Sarah's company more than any other time and I enjoyed seeing her so happy. If this is what exhibitionism is all about then I totally enjoyed this adventure.

Later, I told Beth almost everything. I didn't tell her about my erections and I left out the "hard-on" talk from her grandmother. Beth loved it. I told her about our conversation about her drawing me. Everybody has been trying to get Sarah back into her art. Sarah has a counselor, a grief counselor, to help her cope with Henry's death and her old age depression. She's an artist and so far Sarah has only drawn one single tree in all the three years since his death. This counselor, her daughter and granddaughter, and now myself, are all encouraging her to get back into her art.

While out in her garden, just after she told me how beautiful I was, I told her that she was welcome to draw me if she wanted. She paused, raised her head, looked out in the distance, then replied, "Oh, hmmm."

I asked her if she had ever drawn a nude before and she said no. I said, "I think you should get back into your art. I have never posed for an artist, clothed or otherwise, but I would do it for you if you wanted me to."

All she said in reply was, "Hmmm, that might be good to do."

When I told Beth that we had this conversation about me posing for Sarah, Beth thought it was a great idea. "Anything to get grandma back into her art would be wonderful. She always says she has to be in the right mood but she never is. I think that you should keep encouraging her."

I don't know if it will ever happen but I am now encouraging Sarah to draw again. She forgets things so easily. She forgets events and conversations that just happened. She has been showing me her art from years ago so she is aware that I'm interested. She's always happy when I compliment her on her past work. It's not a false compliment; she really was good. I hope that she remembers my offer to her; I would love to pose for her. I have brought it up just once since that day saying, "I want you to remember, Sarah, that I would love to pose for you. If would be fun for me to pose nude. All you have to do is ask."

She patted my hand and said, "You're such a sweet young man. When I'm in the right mood I would love to draw you."

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