Sausage Fest

This head spinning savory flavor of her is the outpouring of want to be taken to the peaks by me, to open her heart to my heart that pours out in love through my mouth. How did this all come so quickly? She has my thoughts, yet my feelings are more than I knew I could feel. This too is sweet, wonderful mystery.

Her cooing is becoming more urgent, bordering on moaning. Her breath catches as she chirps out 'yes' and 'oh God'. With each vocal outburst, my whole being is flooded with rushes, powerful pleasure and fulfillment at being loved. Yes, I'm feeling her, from the inside out, how it feels for her to receive all I'm doing. The greatest, most profound joy is her recognition of my holding back nothing from her. She pulls me outside of myself to become a real person. My head is spinning in delight. I slurp, lap and swallow.

Rushing across the oceans of our union like a tsunami, this crashing peak thunders over our souls. It's upon us. My whole body lights up in joy unspeakable. My clit is lightning and my breasts are shooting out holy fire of heaven. My hips are humping into my face. These are all her sensations, and I'm living within them, for I'm losing myself in her. I don't need any separate 'me' when I can be in the 'we' with her. Our brains detonate together like supernovas.

Nothing exists now but brilliant light, a million back rub rushes all over our body, and this intense sense of knowing each other. Her memory turns sideways and crashes over me like surf, towing me under to become one with all she's ever known. It's too much for me. I feel the weight of it lifting as the artificial memory sucks it in and promises my spirit that I'll always know it. My spirit is one with her. This is the unity of spirit that ignites the unity of conception in all good parents fortunate to spawn life in true love. Yet it's all in this kiss. I'm back in my body again. Music of a million anthems still rings in my mental ears as the glory fades.

I'm holding onto Mandy, weeping. I'm crushed by this love for her. I don't care that it's more than I can bear. I could think of no better way to pass into heaven than this.

****

As she serves me tea at the kitchen table, she asks me. "Now you understand why I grabbed you at the club?"

"Sorry, Mandy. All the upmem does is store the data. I have to sleep on it to digest it. Until then, I can still relive portions in the daytime as I need to."

"How fast can you relive a day like that?"

"Five minutes, but doing that wipes me out, like an orgasm. I'd have to wait a half hour to be ready again, or plug into a NeuroCharger."

"Why didn't you say so, Zaphod? Ours is in the bathroom."

I'm amazed and confused. I stare at her, lost.

Mandy busts up laughing. "So gullible. We don't have NeuroChargers yet."

Now it dawns on me. "I could make a fortune licensing manufacture of those."

She gives it some thought, and shakes her head. "No. Your biggest seller should be the living strapon. Something girls can wear and feel everything as they're penetrating that someone special."

Without thinking, I point to her cupboard where she keeps that pad of big yellow lined paper. It flies out to the kitchen table, along with some pencils.

Likewise on instinct, Mandy plucks a pencil out of the air on its way.

* * * *

"To the human spirit, every neuron has its own wireless address anyway. We key into that, and the dildo doesn't even have to touch the wearer. The DNA key is read off of skin cells. The wearer will feel everything a real cock would have felt. Even in lipstick girls, there are male brain centers lying dormant, ghost towns that have yet to receive a live signal. Until now."

"Congratulations, Zaphod. You didn't just steal a patent. You invented something new, based on prior art. Even in your own year you could have patented it."

"But I'm not done explaining the whole concept. Here's the advertising blurb. Lifelike in every way. Feels like the real thing to wear it. Does everything to all that the real thing does to women."

"That's great. I like the ad promo. That'll sell. I trust you on the science. I'll introduce you to Randy. He owns a crapload of big corporations. He also knows me from Babylon."

This surprises me. "In my time they rebuilt it and they finally just moved the UN there, but they won't fully rebuild it here for centuries."

"Not New Babylon, silly. Ancient Babylon. Randy's a long-lifer like me. That's why we can trust him, and why he can trust us. With so few long lifers, it would be too lonely if we couldn't."

I see no reason to delay. "Cool, so you want to think of where he lives?"

Mandy gives me a surprised tilt of the head, and thinks of it.

I feel ahead to make sure, and port us there. Now we're in his back yard.

"When I said pop over any time, I didn't expect you to take that literally. You must be Zaphod. I'm Randy."

I turn, and it hits me. He's absolutely gorgeous! He looks like I'd always imagined King David to look, all rugged from being a shepherd outdoors, then all buffed up from being a warrior. I'm sure he makes straight dudes think of trying the other side just once.

Hearing my thoughts, of course, Randy flexes his arm muscles for me like a beach body builder showing off. Silly fun one! Then he steals my heart with his rant. He corrupts one of the few 300-year-old songs I know. "I'm...too sexy for my sheep, too sexy for my sheep!"

Mandy loses her battle of stifling her laughter and busts up big time. We're all cackling and hooting. Then as swiftly as it came, it's gone. "Go ahead Zaphod and ask me your question."

So I share with him my invention idea, followed by my ad blurb for it. "Lifelike in every way. Feels like the real thing to wear it. Does everything to all that the real thing does to women."

Nodding slowly, Randy smiles. "I like it. I'll schedule a visit for you with my tech team. Whatever tools you need that aren't invented yet, let my people market them too. I know you have the entire technology of the future in there. I'm a bit concerned, Zaphod. You're wide open right now, but I can't see why."

I'm laughing, so I send him the thought. "I fought so hard to stay open and let you in. Usually I'm compartmentalized even from my own sweat."

Randy grins a saucy smirk. "You're so trusting. What if I decided to have my way with the erotic centers of your brain? What would you say then?"

"Um, thank you?"

Randy merely nods, dissolving the drama. He's not going to do me tonight. He's too excited about my inventions.

His eyes brighten. "Rain check, Zaphod. You have yet to consummate in full with your new time-crossed soul mate."

"Soul mate, like monogamy?"

Now he busts up laughing. "No honey, she and I are soul mates too. In heaven everybody is. We're getting an early start. She has to be with you first. Not cause she saw you first. It's cause you grew up having sex, not making love. You have intimacy issues. I don't know how to fix that. She does."

And with that, Randy ports us back to Mandy's living room. He just learned that from me. He's good. Mandy's just as good. She's hoping to give me other abilities. It'll happen, but it'll take many nights for it all to soak in.

I hardly have any access to Mandy's life. That'll change. Each good night's sleep I can integrate about a hundred years at a time from her life into my subconscious so it can guide my hunches. If she's as old as she says she is, it'll take me a month or so to digest it all.

"That still won't make you human. You've touched me deeply. Now you want me. You'll know true romantic love when you need me."

"What is romance?"

"Oh, Zaphod, you ask the big ones, don't you? It's the whole package. It's not just telepathy during orgasm. It's not just the emotions you build up for someone. Romance is like a living body of emotional, physical, mental and spiritual intercourse that cannot be alive without every important member of that body. You can try to analyze the emotional from the erotic and all that, but all you're doing is pointing out where the ankle meets the heel. It's all one body. You'll know you need me when one part of that body isn't there, like the psychic or erotic. Then you'll know how the entire body of romance has died and lies bleeding on the operating table of your heart."

"Why must I bleed to feel?"

"You're a special case, Zaphod. Most don't need to die to live. You've been trained not to need anyone, as a part of your security measures. The birth trauma of your ability to need someone is going to be...how can I say it...traumatic."

"When does the hurt begin?"

"Not until the joy is full, or the hurt has no depth."

"Why are you telling me this in advance, Mandy? Every romance novel I've read springs it on the poor unwary romantic as a surprise."

"You're too smart for your own good, Zaphod. I must enlist your intellect as an ally in this transformation, rather than as an enemy. And true of all romance, this will be happening while you're busy focusing on other things, like building the business with Randy."

I smile, showing off. "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."

Mandy gasps. For once I've surprised her. "You've read John Lennon?"

I shrug. "Who hasn't? He took the teachings of Groucho Marx and founded the Social party in Pepperland, until Stalin led the Blue Meanies to take over and replace voluntary giving with robbery and redistribution. After the Pink Floyd army tore down the wall, we became what we are today...a capitalist state with a heart for generosity. Every school kid knows our history."

"Wow, Z. I don't even know where to begin there."

"Did you just give me a nick name?"

"Yeah, Z."

I'm weeping. "That means we're BFFs?"

"Yes, dear Z."

I'm falling apart in tears. "You don't know what this means to me. Everybody fucks everybody back home, but almost nobody is BFFs anymore. That's a sacred bond few dare to form. It requires being vulnerable. It means you need someone. BFFs need each other. When that goes bad, people get depressed and suicidal. Even the insurance companies know this. You can fuck the world, but if you're BFFs with anyone your life insurance premiums go through the roof. Almost nobody in the future is willing to need anyone. It's too risky."

"That's been your problem, Z. Welcome to the human race."

"I'm very happy, Mandy. I still don't know how to need. You'll help me with that, right?"

"Of course, Z. Give it time. Give me time. For now, give me your heart. Kiss me."

Gathering her blonde coils of hair in my hands, I dip my head to meet hers in the kiss. Our open lips on each other are promising and fulfilling all at once, as a moment and an eternity together. Time loses all meaning in this enchantment of passion and emotion.

"Give, give, give, give. Zaphod. You just give. You're going to receive today. I'm going to bathe you, tie you up and make love to you. There's nothing you'll be able to do but receive my love. I'm not asking you. I'm telling you."

My heart speaks faster than my brain can think. "And I'm telling you I'm yours to do with as you will. Lead on, my love."

Grabbing my hand and pulling me to the tub, Mandy teases me. "Another forbidden expression?"

"Yes, my darling."

* * * *

I didn't expect the personal attention of her bathing me to be so motherly. I feel more cherished now than I ever did growing up. Mandy didn't program a bathing robot like my mom always did. She used her own nurturing hands. I felt it.

Now I'm tied firmly yet gently on the bed. My arms are out. My legs are out and my knees up. If she plans on any missionary, she'll be the one taking me, not the other way around.

She starts with my fingers. Light kisses sprinkle their way down my wrists, my inner arms. Her kissing on my armpits is unusual, yet not in the least kinky. It makes me feel fully accepted. And to be honest, it's also a rush. Tingles are flying everywhere around my nerves.

Her sweet lips take my left nipple. Thunder shocks my mind as power flows from my breasts into an invisible clit I don't even have. It's all wired together there in my brain, in this female portion that she's finally putting to good use. It hasn't operated much before. Her dear lips are sucking on one of my breasts then the other. She's not a titty size queen. She likes me.

"Of course I like you, Zaphod. I've loving you. I would have interrupted your internal chatter earlier, but it was beautiful, like poetry that doesn't have to rhyme. Now let go of all your thoughts, and let me take control. You're going to like this. I promise. Now give me the remote to you. Completely."

Mandy's mouth takes my toe. My right big toe. It's like a blowjob, but more intimate cause it feels like she's kissing it. Chills are shooting through me, up my back. She's closed her body from pouring out her feelings. She's immersing herself instead in my body, guiding all she does by how it feels to me.

Her every kiss is tender, adoring. Up my ankles to my calves, one then the other. As her open mouth takes my upper left thigh, I lose the battle with control. Every nerve in my body is responding to her loving intent igniting me through her mouth. My heart is blasting through my brain with more emotion than I thought my body could feel sensations.

The universe is spiraling around my hips. My breasts, as tiny as they are, are fiercely glowing in brilliant glee. The crazy music that's been winding around our heads winds off from us, and I realize instead of moaning, my brain poured out heavenly chords and melodies into the open air.

Mandy's tongue laps around my balls, and then under them, twirling me there like a lesbian lover. She reaches behind me, and now has my prostate trapped carefully between fingers of her two hands. Suddenly lunging, her face captures my sausage in full. Her throat is under her masterful control. She takes me all the way in, and goes crazy on me all at once.

Her almost savage thrusting of my cock into her throat could look unromantic, but my heart is broken wide open by her extreme of giving herself to me. She takes my vulnerability, and nurses upon my urgent need.

All these nerves are sending power into my brain, and suddenly she stops. Climbing up over me, her legs mostly together, she guides me to her entrance and pushes. Her hot, wet velvet embrace around my swollen member crashes my mind with blissful waves of sensation. She's pulling off, and pushing back onto me. She's building up a rhythm fucking me. This too is in the spirit of her giving herself to me. I'd never been accepted, much less embraced, so deep inside, as she does me now. Her whole heart and spirit are making love to me through our bodies.

Mandy opens all the portals, allowing me to feel her body being penetrated. Now I feel like I'm the pussy she's fucking with her cock, and it's wonderful to be so taken. Whirlwinds made of ball lightning are starting to chase each other around my body like squirrels around a tree trunk. Powerful feeling has made the roof of my mind melt away. Heaven is shining down in all its glory into both of us. Our bodies feel like they're compressing for this final detonation. Shockwaves of delight overtake me, as I'm slammed by a massive wave.

I'm screaming...through her mouth. My whole consciousness is twisted up in hers, and if this never ends I'd be honored to be her more than me. Now my mouth takes over the scream, mid-unintelligible-syllable. I've never screamed in tongues during an orgasm before. People say 'Oh God', but few scream in his language by his spirit during it.

I look up and see that the mirrors and windows are melted. There's only puddles of solid glass beneath where the sheets of glass had just been.

"I'll get Egg to fix that." I coo.

Mandy busts up laughing. "Really? You lose yourself into me, and give me the most incredible orgasm in perhaps ever, and you promise to get the melted glass fixed? Oh, Zaphod, you're such a good wife, but just enjoy the ride right now. Here, let me hold you."

* * * *

"That was incredible, M. Sorry I'm not that creative. Is 'M' OK?"

"It's wonderful. You can write to me that way while you're staying at Randy's."

I feel my face going pale. "What do you mean, staying at Randy's? Are you kicking me out?"

"No, honey. You got work to do. Get busy. Save the world. You'll be staying at his factory compound, in their consultant housing. We'll have a couple months apart to think about our relationship and what it means to us. You know what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"I've never heard that expression before. It sounds cruel and unusual."

"Maybe so, Z. It's a fact of life. Now get ready to be ported there."

Chapter X. The Compound.

Randy stares at me like I'm a fish wearing roller skates. I try again. "There IS NO manufacturing cost! The product is like friendship bread. Every person who gets a sausage starts by planting it in dirt, watering it and giving it access to sunlight. The solar energy kick-starts the zero-point power nucleus of each nanite. After their original sausage has spawned its own sausage garden, it becomes fully-grown and the end user can strap it on. It even builds the straps for them.

Randy is squinting at me in disbelief. "If they reproduce like rabbits, how do we make money on the stupid things?"

Though it should be obvious, I explain it to him. "Activation, of course. The first time they try it on, it generates a product code from the DNA of their skin cells. They call that in, make a payment and get the activation code. They speak that to the sausage and it comes alive. If they're not thrilled, they call back, get their money back and the product deactivates. Now please excuse me. I need to make a phone call."

Randy looks like he's going to cry. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."

I'm riled up and defensive. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

My friend coos to me. "She's not going to answer. She hasn't taken any calls from you for three weeks now."

Sniffing, I speak up. "I still have to try. Yeah I'm insane. I'm crazy. About her."

"I know." Randy takes me into his strong, comforting arms. I cry.

* * * *

I'm in awe of his savvy. "That was brilliant, giving twenty sausages away to the biggest loudmouths in Hollywood."

Randy shrugs. "Standard entertainment mentality. Payola. Get the song on the radio and you'll make it a hit. It's been three weeks since S day, and we've had a million activations. It's been multiplying by twenty every three days, and the curve hasn't begun to flatten out yet. The letters we're getting are from every possible scenario. People are thrilled with the product. The hate mail is being stored in a special place for our PR team to deal with later."

I wish I could be thrilled about our becoming billionaires. Everything has lost its flavor. I'm caring nothing about vast wealth, like it was only fictitious gold inside a video game.

Randy nails me with a water balloon filled with suds.

"What the hell, Randy?"

He sighs. "You got it bad for her. You need to get laid."

I dawns on me as I speak it out loud. "I don't ever want to do that again."

"Do what?"

"Get laid. Just have sex. I don't want that, Randy. I want her."

Randy's eyes are wet. "Until you said that I never found you this attractive. Cute, yes, but not adorable. I still can't touch you until she heals you all the way."

Chapter X. Social Outrage.

I've never seen Randy so pissed. We're sitting at a giant conference table with PR guys and a wolf pack of attorneys. Good thing they're our wolves.