Saving Clara Ch. 01

"I was not lying to you, this scar travels the entire length of my thigh, and my previous master thought it wise to teach with a whip. I know of scars my Lord."

He reaches forward and before I can think to stop him his fingers are on the jagged flesh, he presses his palm to it and I whimper as pain spikes up to my hip, "Why are you so honest Clara?"

I try to pull away from him but his strength hinders any movement away from him, "I have no reason to lie to you my Lord."

His eyes are sharp, cutting through me like fire, I don't dare look away from him, the breadth of his hand is pressed to the sensitive pulse of my thigh. I can make out the finest scarring along his cheek, it trails down the curve of his throat and disappears beneath his shirt and I can barely keep my breath. The heat of his hand on my bare flesh ignites a fire that I don't dare notice, I hold my breath for as long as I can tolerate, his eyes seem to pierce through mine. I can barely stop myself as I drag my eyes across his face, the barest hint of stubble beginning to form on his cheeks. He is so close the heat of the fire no longer matters, all I can feel is his heat, all I can smell is the sweet scent of his soaps, and a masculine undertone that makes my heart tremble. Everything about him is so soft yet so piercing, without even a word he has left me breathless... He finally pulls away from me, "You may sleep there."

He settles back in his chair, he recovers his book and buries himself within without another word. I shove down my skirt, even covered I still feel the press of his hand to my skin, I bite my lip as the power of the moment fades to a vague discomfort in my stomach. I am not exactly sure what I am meant to do, I cannot very well disobey him but at the same time is it not improper for me to sleep in his bed? I stare at my leg, even if I decide to leave I will need help and Lord Ander is unlikely to do so... I glance at him but he seems to have lost interest in me, that fact makes the heat in my blood fade quickly, I am glad for the loss of it. Even with his permission, or demand, I am not exactly sure if he has ordered me to sleep in his bed or if he has just allowed it. I can't just lay in his bed, the very idea of doing so makes me nervous so I just bite my lip and try to ignore him just as he is doing to me until a thought jumps to the front of my mind...

"My Lord?" I watch him, his eyes snap to mine and every fiber of him seems poised for some grand disaster, "Why am I the one to turn your room?"

"While everyone in my employ is competent their curiosity is unbecoming and on occasion some of my items have disappeared or they have left items behind and come back to catch a glimpse of me. You have never done so."

I study him for a long moment, "What are you reading my Lord?"

He narrows his eyes, "That is a highly improper question."

A blush spreads across my cheeks and I bow my head, "Apologies my Lord." I keep my eyes on the floor and the silence spreads between us like a chasm, I am practically gnawing on my lip at this point and I resist the urge to escape the situation. Uncomfortable as it might be I am not going anywhere anytime soon so I slip off my shiny black shoes and flatten my dress as I lay across the foot of his bed. The action is so incredibly awkward I look to him for a reaction but his eyes are on the book once again, I look into the fire and find that the steady glow of it eases the tension in my spine. Truly I am exhausted, the ache in my leg fades to a subconscious thought as sleep blurs reality until all I can see are cloud gray eyes piercing straight through me as the fire engulfs me...

I wake up breathing hard, for a moment my surroundings make no sense and memory evades me until I escape the heavy weight of the blankets and see Lord Ander still sitting in the chair. His head is supported by the back of the chair, the book is at the tips of his fingers, just balancing at the edge of his knee. I drag my fingers through my hair and consider my position, I am certain I fell asleep at the foot of the bed, but now I am buried under his blankets and not anywhere near the same position. I study his face as he sleeps, he must have moved me after I fell asleep, I slide from the bed as silently as possible and test my leg. The pain is still there but I should be well enough as long as I don't do anything foolish... At least I hope so.

I straighten Lord Ander's bed quickly and quietly, my efficiency is so that he doesn't even stir with my movements, I am about to leave when I notice the chill of the room. The sun hasn't even begun to rise and everything holds the bite of the night cold, I bite my lip before I drag the comforter from his bed. I hold my breath as I slide the book from his lap, I don't bother looking at the pages as I pull the ribbon from my hair and tuck it between his pages. I gingerly place the book on the table, I watch his face as I drape the blanket over his shoulders. His eyebrows ease apart and his expression seems almost peaceful, I back out of his bedchamber quickly and am all too relieved when I close the door behind me. I lean against the steady frame for a moment before I start my day as I would any other, I make my way to the kitchens curious to discover what gossip has already begun...

My frustration has not eased for one moment, Marie found me and proceeded to harass me about my meager performance at the only task I was expected to do. I thought about explaining the situation but it wouldn't have mattered to her at all, of that I am sure. I can barely walk and the day is not even half over, and yet Marie is still nagging me and following me about. I turn on her, ready to drop all decorum and use every curse word I know but the presence of Gregor stills me, he is behind her and for some reason I do not point out that fact, "Why do you stop you useless welp?" Her voice is sharp and when I don't respond she slaps me hard across the face, "You ought to have made yourself useful and let the Marquis have his way with you, won't be anytime soon anyone will want you again. May as well have done something for the crippled Lord, you being a cripple yourself I might think you would desire to assist him."

Gregor clears his throat and she whips around so fast she nearly loses her balance, "Miss Clara, would you please come with me?"

I bow my head and follow him, Marie stares after us in wide-eyed horror but she dare not speak lest she reveal herself. I try to keep pace with Gregor but even in his aged state he is much more able than I, it is only lucky that we do not go far, he leads me into Lord Ander's library. The room is much larger than I imagined and the scent of it makes me ache to know what knowledge is held in all those pages... I notice a gentleman who looks to be in his late forties, he stands very stiff with hair slicked back and his eyes intense on Lord Ander who is at the far window and he does not turn as I enter with Gregor.

Gregor approaches Lord Ander and after a moment of quiet discussion he nods and leaves the room, the click of the door behind him makes me twitch. I study this new man and I wonder if Lord Ander has changed his mind, perhaps I am to be sold to this man... His face is very straight and formal, Lord Ander turns slowly and as his eyes take hold of me my breath is ripped from me. There is something about him that makes me feel as if I am caught in the sea during a storm, "Clara this is Marcus, he is a doctor and I have called upon him to look at your leg. If you please?"

My cheeks flame with embarrassment but I raise the hem of my dress to reveal my scarred thigh, and finally I see an expression on the doctor's face, one I am used to; disgust. I lower my eyes to the floor and try to ignore him as he kneels before me and he probes my leg roughly. I hiss as pain flares up the curve of my hip, "How is the pain now?"

"It aches when I am still, when I put weight on it there is a sharp pain but nothing so bad as it was last night sir."

He is silent for a long moment, I dare a glance at Lord Ander to find that his eyes are locked on Marcus. His jaw seems tight, the sunlight behind him accents the scar down the curve of his jaw and I see that it is much sharper under the light of day but still he is quite handsome... His eyes flash up to mine and I look away quickly a blush of guilt overwhelming my face, I should not look upon my Master in such a way, it is highly improper and completely unacceptable behavior. Marcus pulls away from me his eyebrows drawn together in thought before he turns away from me and starts a quiet conversation with Lord Ander, I cover myself immediately and try not to stare at Lord Ander which is much more difficult than it ought to be.

Lord Ander glances at me, "Go to my bedchamber, Gregor has prepared a hot bath for you, I will come to you later." I bow awkwardly as I back out of the room, Lord Ander's eyes are so cold and I try not to feel so hurt by that fact.

Within Lord Ander's room Gregor is waiting for me, he directs me to the second room in the bedchamber kept especially for Lord Ander's baths, the room is small and full of heat. I stare at the large bath, the wooden tub is full of steaming water and the scent of fresh herbs tingles my nose, "Do you require assistance with anything?"

I look at him incredulously, "Oh, no. Thank you sir."

His eyes are a pale shade of brown and his hair is thinning to a pale white that fades from his brow, he starts to turn then hesitates, "You seem a generous soul, do not let those like Marie darken your spirit. I do not care on your scars, nor Master Ander's, know that there are those who see past such things. When you are clean there is a robe set out for you, see that you do not put those clothes back on."

I stare at the water after he leaves, his words dull the ache of loneliness and I feel a tender contentment as I strip off my servant-wear, as I slide into the water I can't help but moan. It is so hot it nearly hurts but the heat peals away the pain in my thigh and every aching muscle in my body loosens. I slide so low in the bath that my nose is just above the surface, I close my eyes and enjoy the tender scent of chamomile, I am surprised that Lord Ander would use such herbs in a bath meant for me... I sit up on the roughened wood and reach for the sponge on a small stool beside the tub, a bowl of water is beside it full of the scent of roses. I scrub my body vigorously and I am disturbed to see the fresh clear water turn brown with my sweat and dirt, I scrunch up my nose as I stand. I place the sponge back and pick up the bowl of rose water, I dump it over me and feel the vestiges of pain fade away.

I set the bowl with the sponge and wring out the excess water from my hair, the robe Gregor mentioned is draped against the door, I am certain it belongs to Lord Ander and for some reason that reawakens the old fire. Something about him makes my body heat, I am not sure why or how but I know this is the lust that others speak of... I push away those thoughts and tug on the heavy red thing, I tie the sash tightly around my waist, it is so large on me it can nearly wrap around me twice. When I emerge from the room there is no one to be found, I told my clothes as neatly as possible and place them beside the stool before I close the door behind me. I pace the room as I wait for Gregor or Lord Ander to instruct me on what I am meant to do next, I run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to keep it under control, I want to braid it again but I don't see my ribbon. I had placed it in Lord Ander's book, they are both nowhere to be seen, I settle into the wood chair and sit stiffly as I wait.

It doesn't take too long, Lord Ander enters so quietly at first I don't realize, he is closing the door when I notice him. I stand up, unsure of what to do I move away from his chair and keep my eyes downcast. His eyes are on me, I am sure of it but I dare not look at him again, "Did you enjoy your bath Clara?"

His tone is hard and I flinch, "Yes my Lord, thank you."

He moves toward me, "Sit on my bed please."

I settle on the edge of it, he pulls the chair directly in front of me and settles into it, "Marcus seems to think you require bed rest, and he has also provided a balm for your leg to ease the muscle." I keep my eyes averted as he speaks, his proximity makes me nervous, I can feel the heat of his legs against mine and it makes me tremble, "Are you cold Clara?"

"No my Lord."

He is silent for a long moment before he rests a hand on my thigh and my eyes snap to his, "You avoid looking at me, why?"

I bite my lip, "It is improper for a servant to look their master in the eye unless commanded to my Lord."

His lips twitch with that ghost smile, "Are you one for propriety?"

I study his eyes as his hand burns against my thigh, "I do not understand my Lord."

The smile washes away to be replaced with that grim line, he pulls a smooth wood box forth and extends it to me, I take it wordlessly, "Open it."

I obey and there is a milky white cream within, I shake all over as he pushes the robe from my damaged leg, I want to tell him to stop but as I look into his eyes I dare not say a word because I fear what I will say. He dips his fingertips in the substance then lowers his hand to my thigh, he rubs the cream into my leg his eyes intent on his task and I cannot tear my eyes from his face. My whole body is hot, I feel like I am suffocating as his hand seems to burn through my whole being and I find myself craving something even more from him. Of course I know of lust and the process of taking a lover but surely I cannot be thinking of my own Master in such a way.

"What thoughts made your cheeks brighten with the doctor Clara?" His voice is like ice on me and I bite my lip, "Do not resist telling me."

I look to his open window and try to separate myself from his touch, "I thought of the way you touched me last night my Lord," I take a shaky breath as his hand stills on my thigh, "of the way your touch affected me..."

I dare to look at him, his eyes are narrowed on me, he looks angry and I am left cold as he pulls his hand from my leg. He stands slowly his eyes riveted to mine and I don't even think of covering my leg, "And how did my touch affect you Clara?"

The command is evident in his voice and I cannot bring myself to disobey him, "In a way that none has ever made me feel before, you alight a fire in my flesh my Lord, it is something that I do not understand and I apologize for it if that is what you wish of me..."

"It seems only proper that I show you mine." At first I am confused until he pulls his shirt off and his chest is bared to me, I know I should look away but I cannot drag my eyes from the flat expanse of his skin. His scarring ends at the curve of his throat, more ragged scars blanket both of his biceps and as he turns his back to me I see the brunt of it and it makes my chest squeeze. He faces me and studies my expression, I start to drop my eyes, "Do not look away from me."

I bite my lip as he approaches me, he settles back in the chair before continuing to work the cream into my thigh, I am perturbed to find that his eyes remain on mine and I cannot disobey him no matter how much it distresses me, "My Lord, I..."

His hand slides higher up my thigh killing the words in my throat and I can't breath as he nears the heart of the fire. His eyes remain on mine as he pulls the tie of the robe with his free hand and with one motion he could expose me but he raises his hand to my cheek, "You may say no if you so wish it Clara, think of me as a man in this moment and not as your Master, I will value you no less if you refuse me. Although this shall be the only opportunity for it."

I can't even breathe to refuse him, I shake my head as fear mixes with the insistent heat, "I am not..." I swallow hard, "experienced in such things my Lord. If that is what you expect of me..."

His eyes scan mine, he raises his hand to my shoulder and he gently eases the robe from me, I cannot move to resist him, "Experience holds benefits," his fingers trail down the curve of my shoulders as he lowers the robe, he takes the box and sets it on the floor before he releases me from the confines of the robe completely. He spreads apart the remnants covering my thighs and my body reddens as his eyes carve across my naked flesh, "But there is a certain beauty in innocence as well. Are you willing to give yourself to me Clara?"

The admission of my desire scares me, "I will allow you anything my Lord."

His eyes widen and he pulls back from me, "I do not want your obedience, I want your acceptance."

The loss of his touch leaves me wanting and I reach forward and grip his hands, "I desire you my Lord." He studies me with an icy stare that cuts me deep and I am curious as to what makes him so cold even in a moment full of fire. The boldness of my words makes my cheeks burn like fire, "If I did not feel desire I would not hesitate to escape the situation in one way or another my Lord."

"Perhaps you do not wish to escape your Master on such terms, you may end up on the run for the rest of your life, is it not easier for you to make this decision?"

"I have no reason to lie to you my Lord." I am not sure how he expects me to proceed, I don't want to upset him but at the same time all I want is to get rid of this incessant fire between my legs, "Please believe me."

He studies me before he stands and in a swift motion he is atop me, my breath fades as his broad chest seems to shadow my form and as he bears his weight above me I stare into those stormy eyes. His hand slides up my thigh to the origin of my fire and I am shaking with a mix of fear and anticipation, "Part your legs for me Clara."

I feel like I am going to faint, I obey him and try to stop the trembling as his fingertips tease at the edge of my womanhood. His eyes hold mine and I can't even remember my own name as his touch brushes my slit, I groan as heat swells through my body, his thumb roll across something and a spark shoots up my spine and I yelp. The pleasure floods me like nothing I have ever known, I reach for his shoulders but he stops his touch, "Put your hands above your head."

I cannot defy him, when he is satisfied with my placement he continues to roll his thumb along that sensitive place and the pleasure of it draws soft whimpers from me, "Oh my Lord."

His eyebrows knit together, "Say my name." When I don't respond he leans close to me and presses his lips to my ear, "Say my name Clara."

I am breathing hard as the heat peaks within me and I feel close to something I don't quite understand, I shake my head and twist beneath him trying to find the release to this unbearable pressure. His touch rolls slowly until he is holding me on the precipice and I nearly lose my mind when his tongue darts across my earlobe, "Come now, I can feel how close you are Clara, say my name and I will show you pleasure you have never known. Let go."

I grip the bedding and grind my hips against his hand but he pulls away from me, rationality disappears completely, "Please my Lord! I'm begging you." His gaze does not soften, I groan in frustration, all I want is the release but I cannot bring myself to disobey all my training.

A knock at the door shatters the illusion of privacy, I don't move as Ander groans, he slowly draws away from me, "Get under the covers Clara, I will attend to you later." I sit up and reach for the robe but he grabs my wrists, "No." I can barely stem the flow of helplessness that tears through me, his eyes leave no room for argument and when he releases me I scoot back from him. A swell of fear rises against him, I am not sure why but he frightens me, his power over me throws me into confusion and I don't like it. Perhaps I should have said no, I bury myself in his bed and turn away from him as the reality of the situation sinks in...