tagNonConsent/ReluctanceSaving Clara Ch. 02

Saving Clara Ch. 02


Alright readers, sorry for the wait, I read all of your comments and they are much appreciated. I tried to create a good continuation in chapter 2 it is a little shorter. Comments are appreciated and of course Happy Reading!


Thankfully the tears don't last long, I have no reason to expect kindness from him after the tryst or the right to feel anything toward my Master. I should be honored that he has shown me such passion, and yet I only feel a well of fear rising inside me, it is too late to change my mind now, that much is obvious. I don't like this feeling of being trapped, before I had purpose and now I am left in his bedchamber to await his return... That eats at me, I have never felt this tumult of confusion before, I desired him but now I wonder at the effect it will have on me. My entire life has been training toward becoming the perfect servant, a constant restraint on my individuality, there is meant to be no true personality in a servant. Only companions are allowed such a luxury, but even then it isn't their personality...

In his washroom I clean the mix of fluid from the coupling, I am not entirely surprised at the blood but it makes me feel as if I have been ruined. Honestly the body of a servant is not entirely valuable, but I had willingly given him something that I should have appreciated more. I feel almost as if I am floating as I pull on the robe and settle against the curve of the window. If I am honest with myself I remember the days before I was sold to become a servant, I remember my mother singing to me before bed and I remember my father... I yank away from the memories and slam them down deep where they can't touch me, I press my palm to the glass and instead think on myself. My reaction to Ander is different from anything I have ever felt, I had opportunities to take a lover, there are plenty of men desperate enough to take a woman, even one like me...

I dare a glance at his bed, the memory of the coupling makes my skin tingle but I brush past that to thoughts on Ander. I do not truly know anything about him, I only know of the gossip about him but that is not reliable information so I discard those thoughts. Now that he has fulfilled his desire I consider what it will mean for my future, I have been a servant for a long time, being sold again will mean nothing in my life. I enjoy this house, but that is because my Lord had never paid me any mind.

Now that phase of my life is over. As I rethink what happened between us I can hear his words, I shall teach you properly Clara. You're modesty is endearing but I find your desire much more so. The memory makes my body liquid fire, I am not sure about his strange moods but it is clear there is kindness inside him. He had cared enough to call on a doctor, enough to defend me against a business partner, and enough to give me the right to say no. Regardless of anything else I already know there is generosity within him, that is enough to stem the flow of fear.

"Clara?" I nearly jump out of my skin, I turn to see Gregor standing stiffly with his face averted, "I knocked but you did not answer."

I steady my nerves and force away the thought of Lord Ander, "I am sorry, I was distracted by thought."

"Are you decent?"

I blush wildly, because the thought of decency makes me think of Ander, I nearly choke on the heat inside me, "Yes."

Gregor's whole body seems to loosen as he steps into the room and closes the door behind him, "Lord Ander has told me of the condition of your leg, since you will be unable to attend your normal duties you will assist me in mine. Nothing entirely strenuous although my activities require great mental focus. I assume you cannot read?"

I lower my eyes, "I was beginning to learn the alphabet but I have forgotten most of it."

He is silent for some time before he settles in the wooden chair, "That is of no consequence, in free time Lord Ander has told me to assist you in such a matter, if I am able to teach him how to read I am sure I can teach anyone."

There is a smile in his voice that eases the tension between my shoulders, "Is it not improper for me to learn such things?"

Gregor laughs and I glance at him curiously, his face is creased with his smile and he looks so content it tears at me, "Propriety is not a thought to be had for some time, Lord Ander and I have been together since his birth, he trusts me and my judgment and he will not question my decision. You will better assist me if you know how to read, but more than that in free time it will be a suitable distraction."

I wrap my arms around my chest, "I will do as my Lord wishes in any venture, though I assume I will go back to my previous duties when I become useful again."

Gregor's smile falls and his eyes bore into me, "Miss Clara, though I understand your distress I must inform you that my duties are highly important in Lord Ander's life and you must never think he would go through the trouble of keeping your comfort if he found you useless."

His words are so soothing to someone he barely knows, the knot of worry in my chest loosens, "I am sorry, so much has changed in such a short time, I did not mean it."

Gregor nods sharply then he extends a neatly folded uniform, "Lord Ander had a new uniform procured for you, once you dress meet me outside the door and we shall begin the day." I accept the clothes and he strides from the room, I dress in the uniform identical to my previous one and once I take a deep breath I meet Gregor outside the room, "Wonderful, now I shall explain my duties in the library, there is where we will begin your studies. I handle all of Lord Ander's business relations, when he is busy or unwilling to meet someone I shall handle the transaction on his behalf, I record all purchases and losses of money, anything that translates to his business I handle it. I also keep track of our business partners and their investments, my job is very professional and you must learn to speak to others in a way that will never cause tension within them. It is all about presentation and the careful wording of statements."

I have little trouble understanding what he means as we enter the library, he closes the door behind me before he slides to a shelf and pulls out several books and drops them on a wide desk in the corner, he places a sheaf of papers beside them and an old battered looking pen, "Now to begin your lesson I shall see if we can dust away time and bring up your previous teaching. Do you remember the alphabet?"

I blink as I dig back into old memories, but going back makes my stomach churn, "I am not sure..."

Gregor smiles comfortingly, "That is just as well, no bad habits to break, sit here and we shall begin."

I am not sure how much time passes, the sun drifts across the sky and Gregor hovers over me correcting my mistakes softly while praising every tiny success. By the time my eyes start to burn he convinces me I know the pronunciation of half the letters, which is more important than knowing the letters. I don't even know what he is talking about, I feel as if I haven't made the slightest progress, "That is well enough for today, you must practice so in free time I encourage you to come here and do as I have shown you. Now there is a different facet of my duties I believe you will enjoy."

Gregor leads me through the house, many of the servants drop what they are doing and openly stare at me, some look confused and others look furious. But all of them are careful to hide the looks from Gregor's gaze, I avoid making eye contact and follow behind him feeling highly uncomfortable with the situation. Outside the air is refreshing compared to the stuffy confinement of the house, he is walking slower than the day before and I am sure he has noticed my slow gait. Gregor strides into the stables and he seems so much younger than he really is, I am not exactly sure on his age but the ease in which he moves spikes jealousy into my heart, "Obviously these are the stables, Lord Ander participates in the trade of horses and the training of them as well, he buys the finest of them and I handle their training. I cannot very well teach you to train horses for that would take a wild amount of your time, instead you will assist in the brushing and cleaning of them. One of these horses in particular is not very fond of human attention, Lord Ander bought her along with a lot of horses, the others have taken well to rehabilitation but she has not. So you shall avoid her, she is meant to be sold as soon as I can convince someone to buy her that has the patience to deal with her."

The whole time he is motioning toward a stall, I move toward it and catch a glimpse of her big black muzzle and her wide brown eyes, she catches my gaze and tosses her head. She tries to rear up but a length of rope holds her down, she kicks back instead and the sound of her hoof connecting with the wall makes me flinch but I don't move away from her, "What is her name?"

"Lord Ander renamed her Shadow, the previous owner gave her no name, she is unbreakable at this point, I am unsure on what her owner did to her but she will never be tame."

I keep my eyes locked on hers and I feel a well of something begin inside me, "Have you found any potential buyers for her?"

"Not even a hint of interest in the market for her, at the moment she is just a burden on Lord Ander's pocketbook." Gregor is silent for a moment before he takes a deep breath, "Anyway, she is none of your concern. For now we will merely talk of your responsibilities here and be clear that when you come here I will have the clothing of a stable boy for you instead of your household clothing. There will be a washbasin for you after such activities before you return to the house."

Gregor draws me away from Shadow, who is breathing as if she has run a thousand days with no rest, but I cannot keep my mind from her even after I have lost sight of her. I do not know why but I am drawn to her, she has been damaged by someone who was meant to take care of her, it strikes a chord inside me...

After hours of listening to Gregor explain the care of horses I am left with a throbbing headache, I am glad when he dismisses me back to the house. At first I begin walking to the servant's chambers then I hesitate in the hall and I realize I have no idea if I am meant to go to them or to Lord Ander's bedchamber. I stand frozen, a tinge of fear flickers to life, I cannot very well invade my Master's chamber if I am not meant to and I also cannot bear to go back to the servant's quarters to face Marie, she will blame me for her misstep. Who knows what sort of vengeance she will take out on me... Instead of going to either location I go back to the library, I settle at the desk with my piles of destroyed paper, full of mistakes and scribbles, I find a paper with some blank space and begin writing out each of the letters I learned while speaking their variable pronunciations.

I lean back in the chair and stretch, my spine crackles with relief and I stand on stiff legs, the room has gone dim with nightfall and I hadn't entirely noticed. I stare into the pink hue of the horizon and I revel in this moment of imaginary freedom, truly a free woman is not entirely free but if I were talented I could have as much freedom as a man. I could soar past this place and go anywhere that pleased me, I could fade into obscurity and live in peace or shatter the world with my very presence... I laugh softly at the thought before I turn and decide to see if Lord Ander has returned.

I knock softly on his door, all the other servants have retired for the evening, when there is no answer I hesitate for a long time. I knock louder but there is still no answer, I stand unsure of what else I am meant to do, indecision pulls at me but I push open the door slowly. I quickly realize Lord Ander is not in his bedchamber, I stand with the door wide open as if the room will tell me what I am meant to do. I bite my lip before I close the door behind me, once he discovers me here he will tell me what I am meant to do regardless and if it delays my reunion with Marie I am content with it. I settle into the sill of the giant window and stare up as the stars begin to awaken, I am not sure I like the amount of time I have free for my thoughts. Too many memories are being resurrected, memories that I made sure to bury deep, but now they refuse to listen to my complaints.

I look up quickly when I hear the door open, I look to Lord Ander's bedchamber door but it remains shut tight, my eyes are drawn to him emerging from his washroom with not so much as a robe covering him. His entire body bathed in the light of dusk steals away my breath, my eyes trail from the soft innocence of his manhood to the slim line of his hips, his flat stomach, and the broad expanse of his chest rising with his breath. I find his eyes locked on mine and heat crashes through me, I am drowning in the emotion for a moment before I snap away from it and look away. I rise quickly and slide to my knees with bowed head, "I was not sure if you wished me to return here or to the servant's quarters my Lord."

My voice is low and quivery, but I can't imagine how to make it stop, I don't dare look at him lest I lose sight of my place again. I can hear him moving through the room but I keep my eyes trained on the floor, he comes near to me but he does not touch me or speak, my whole body pulls tight with anticipation and dread. For a long moment we remain locked in silence before he moves away from me, I hear the rustle of something before he settles on his bed, "Stand and look at me Clara."

I obey and am both relieved and disappointed to find him covered by his robe, "Apologies for entering your room without permission my Lord but I knew not what else to do..."

His eyes begin a trail from my legs up over my body until he finds my eyes, by the time his gaze meets mine I am trembling, "As intriguing as your reaction is to me, I must speak with you on other matters. Gregor spoke with me of the interaction you had with Marie, my initial reaction was to punish her or even to send her to the mines, but now I wonder at your thoughts on the matter."

My thoughts clear instantly, "Sending her to the mines would be a sentence worse than death my Lord!" I bite my lip, "She is unkind to me but if you were to punish her for it then you would punish more than her, if you would punish anyone for anything then punish them for speaking ill of you. I am used to people with her point of view, there is nothing that shall change it, punishing her will make others fear me but it will only strengthen their resolve to hate me, just more quietly. Perhaps they will become violent when you are not around to protect me... It would change nothing my Lord."

He studies my eyes for a long time until I feel foolish for saying so much and a blush of frustration floods my cheeks, "You are very perceptive in the ways of people, I shall take your opinion into consideration. How does your leg fare?"

I wish he would tell me what he intends to do with Marie but I do not dare to question him, "Very well my Lord, I have felt only slight tightening of my muscle today."

He stares at me for a long moment before he moves something in his lap and I recognize the little box with the cream for my leg, "Take off your clothes Clara." Fire pulses through my blood and my womanhood clenches at his demand, I stand utterly confused for a moment before I move toward the washroom, "No, stay right here and take off all your clothes. Come now Clara, I have seen you already do not hold such modesty."

A blush floods my face, I look down and begin to undo my dress, my hands are shaking so wildly I am glad it ties and does not button. I manage to shimmy out of the simple outfit and slide out of my stockings to stand utterly bared before him. I keep my gaze on the floor and resist the urge to cover myself, "Do you still desire me between your thighs Clara?" Goose flesh breaks out across my flesh, my nipples tighten and I can feel my body ready for him, "Such reaction from your innocent little body, stand before me Clara."

I step forward hesitantly, he does not move but instead he just studies me, I tremble as his eyes seem to caress my body, "Tell me Clara, do you desire me still?"

I am breathing hard, "Yes my Lord."

Ander dips his fingers in the cream before he begins to rub it into my thigh, his touch bores into me and I want nothing more than to bury him inside of me again but I stand riveted by his order, "Stand with your feet apart."

As soon as I part my legs his hand slides to my inner thigh, I knead my hands together needing to do something with them but I know I cannot take the initiative and touch him. Even as pleasure rolls away sanity I cannot break the barrier of training, "My Lord I..."

"Silence." I bite away the words and I look into his eyes to find such a fire that it frightens me, "Show me your passion Clara, in this room your body belongs to me, in any other room if I chose it your body belongs to me. Your pleasure excites me, do not hide it from me, tell me what you desire, but do not think of propriety or your role as a servant. If you do I will stuff that mouth of yours with something to keep you from speaking, do you understand?"

I gasp as his hand rises to the heat between my legs, his thumb teases my clit and my eyes roll back, "Yes, oh yes, my Lord."

He pulls away, I whimper at the loss of his touch, "I cannot decide if it is more thrilling to hear you say that or to say my name, when I make you cum I wish for you to say my name, if you do not I will not let you cum. Understand?"

"Yes my Lord."

I let my eyes connect with his and his face tightens, "Lay on the bed." I crawl onto the bed, as I start to turn over he grips my ass and I freeze on all fours. He trails his fingers from the base of my neck down my spine, I am hyperaware of my scars as he traces a few of them before he releases me and I roll onto my back, "Close your eyes and keep them closed."

His weight rises from the bed when I obey and I hear the robe fall to the floor but after that all is silent, "Place your hands above your head and keep them there, raise your knees and spread your legs."

I do as he instructs and immediately I feel a million times more vulnerable, he grips my waist and drags me to the edge of the bed, my feet slide to something warm and hard, it takes a moment to realize it is his shoulders. I whimper when his hands tease at my womanhood, "While you are with me this is my pussy, my cunt, mine to do with as I please understand?"

The vulgarity of his words speaks to something deep inside me and heat flowers between my legs, "Yes my Lord."

"If you are going to cum you must say my name Clara, do not forget that or I will punish you for disobedience."

I bite my lip, I am not prepared when he spreads the lips of my pussy and licks up my slit, I roll beneath him and it takes all my willpower to keep from screaming, I grip the blanket tight and barely have time to understand what he is doing before he buries his tongue inside of me, "Oh god." My back arches as I wrap my legs around his head and pull him tight against me, the motion happens so thoughtlessly I do not think to correct myself. He growls against me and begins pumping his tongue in and out of me, I am panting wildly as his hands grip my waist tight, his palms can nearly encircle my waist and I am sure there will be bruises from his grasp but I can't care as his tongue curves against me sending waves of trembling pleasure sparking through me. Waves crash through me until I can feel the swell of them building up, his tongue rubs against my clit roughly and I scream as the heat floods me, his rule flashes through me just as the pleasure shoots up my spine, "Ander!"

He releases his grip from my waist and I yelp when he slides a finger into me, a heat wave of pleasurable insanity washes away the world for the longest moment of my life, he keeps his finger buried inside me until the pleasure fades and my strength goes with it. My legs slide from his shoulders and I lay slick with sweat, "Open your eyes." I see him on his knees at the end of the bed, he licks my juices from his lips and I tremble all over, "Such a sweet treasure you are." He crawls on top of me, his hands rest on my waist and he drags me up until my entire body is on the bed, he hovers over me his legs on either side of mine and his hands planted on either side of my head, "Touch me Clara."

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