Seamus Ch. 08

He chose his words carefully. "I don't think that... this- is going to help. I can't make you forget-"

"I don't want to forget! I just want to feel you in me. It sounds fucked up and I don't even know how to describe it- but I need you. Just make me feel safe so that I know you're here with me, please! Please, Neill..." I squeezed his cock slightly and ran a light fingertip over the hot, trickling head. Neill tried to stifle a moan as his body arched against mine.

"Seamus," he warned.

"Please!" I shifted a little and rubbed his cock down the silky path between my buttocks. "I love you. This isn't about forgetting Nate. This is about you and me. I know you need it and I need it too. We can comfort each other."

"Okay," Neill whispered. "Alright." His hand snaked from my chest to my erection. "Fuck, you're hard too," he gasped. I shivered as he started to stroke my length, playing my foreskin over the sensitive head.

"What'd you expect?" I asked. My elbow was starting to ache from being bent up behind me. Reluctantly, I let go of his cock and stilled his hand on mine. "Please fuck me."

He started to protest about making me upset but I shushed him. "Please."

Neill's lips plucked at the side of my neck. His hot tongue slid around my earlobe. "I'd love to," he whispered. "But you're very vulnerable right now-" The hand that had held my cock dappled its way over the muscles flanking my hip. His warm palm smoothed down the globe of my buttock then cupped it in his hand.

"Neill, please. I know you want to."

I heard him reach into his drawer. A moment later he smoothed something greasy around my delicate anus. "Are you sure?" he asked me.

My hand found his cock again and guided it to my entrance. "Yes," I whispered. "Let me comfort you." I pressed backwards, causing my tiny opening to strain and then yield. I felt his hands on my hips, slowing and controlling my movement as his head popped past my sphincters. His hot, hard length eased inside my clasping warmth. Once he was all the way in, we held together for a long time as my body became accustomed to the feeling of being totally filled. Slowly Neill began to move.

I don't know what happened but suddenly we became frantic. I rammed myself back as he thrust forward, over and over again. A pleasant burning sensation rippled through my tight rectum driven by the friction of his invading cock. I didn't care that it hurt; the pain made me feel alive. His hands moved from my hips to tightly wrap around my chest. His hungry mouth patrolled my neck, plucking and planting wet kisses into my sweating flesh. He frantically clasped my hip with his top thigh. I dug the nails of one hand into it, holding him in place to allow him to take me deeper. My other hand stroked forcibly up and down my cock. Neill moaned and pounded into me harder, if that was possible. With every thrust, his hairy balls pressed tightly to my flesh. "Oh god, it's okay," I heard him gasp. "Everything's gonna be okay. Isn't it?"

"Yes, everything gonna be alright," I grunted. "It's gonna be fine."

"You're here..." his movements became shaky. He reached for my weeping erection and helped me jack myself. His palm was sweaty. "It's alright."

Those calloused fingers spread a mixture of precum and sweat along my shaft. Neill's hand twisted and turned, pumping me. I felt his other hand sift my silken ballsac. Heat shot through me as my body tightened. Two more thrusts, each angled to judder across my prostate, sent electricity jolting through my groin. My balls clenched and my shaft tensed with agonising pleasure. I cried out, involuntarily arching my back as every muscle in my body seemed to curl in on itself. Then with a huge rush all the pressure released. My cock jerked, releasing a torrent of hot, thick semen through Neill's fingers. I felt my rectum vibrate and squeeze around his length as I released two more bolts of cum. I was crying as I came down from the rippling ecstasy and I didn't even know why.

Neill tensed and moaned, his shaft pulsing inside me. I heard his voice tremble in his throat as he lost control. It was a strange sound, sort of a mixture of, "Fuck," "Yes," and "Love you." I felt his hands, slippery with my hot semen, clench onto my hips. His fingernails dug in as he earthed his cock completely inside me. As hot cum shot deep into my tremoring bowels, his body tensed and shook against my back. The air shuddered in and out of his lungs, just as mine did. His sweat mingled with the hot droplets running down my back. Slowly the aftershocks left us and our bodies relaxed once more. He tried to pull out but my rectum tightened its grip on his cock. My buttocks pressed hard against his hips, refusing to let him pull away. "Please... Please just stay..."

Neill trembled violently. "Seamus..."

"I need you here," I whispered. "So I know..."

I felt his arms snake beneath my arms and tighten around my chest once more. His hands rested over my thundering heart. I could feel his pulse against my back and in the organ still throbbing inside my rectum. The tears continued to roll down my cheeks. "It's alright," I heard him say. "You're going to be fine. I love you. I won't go away."

"I know..." I was so scared that I would wake up and he wouldn't be there. I don't know why. I just couldn't let him go. My own arms lay across his, holding them to my body.

"Everything's going to be alright..." We both repeated those words several times as if trying to reassure ourselves it was true.

I heard him slip slowly into sleep, his breathing rhythmic and warm against my neck. He was still inside me, partially soft, a welcome intruder, letting me know that he really was there with me. His warm arms were still wrapped around me, holding me close to the firm cushion of his chest.

Despite Neill's reassuring presence, I could not sleep. My thoughts were filled by images of another man lying lonely and sedated in a hospital bed. I felt so terribly guilty, knowing that I had devoted so much time to thinking about Neill that I had not noticed when the drinking started again. Sure, I had complained when Coach banned Nathan from games for a couple of weeks for being hung-over, but I thought nothing of what 'hung-over' implied. I was such an idiot!

What had driven Nathan to such terrible, destructive lengths? Was it me? When he said he thought he was gay, when he said he loved me, did he mean it like that? Or did he mean, as he said the second time, he loved me like a brother? It was all my fault...

Author's notes: I realise now that the file will be too long if I make this the final chapter, so I'm planning two more. I don't want to go past ten chapters. Thanks to everybody who has left me feedback during this series, it's really great to hear from you.