Searching for Love Ch. 04

Jake looked up as Jessica knocked on the door. "How's Caitlin?" Jessica asked.

"Claire says she'll be okay in time," Jake answered, taking the bagel Jessica offered him.

"What about the baby?" Jessica wanted to know. Jake shook his head.

"She miscarried. Claire doesn't know if Caitlin will be able to get pregnant again," Jake said, dropping the bagel back into the sack. "I'm sorry Jess, but this tastes like cardboard," Jake apologized.

Jessica gave her friend a hug. "Don't apologize. You're upset, you don't have to eat if you don't want to, at least not right now, but you will have to eat eventually," Jessica said softly.

Claire gave them both a sympathetic smile when she came back out of Caitlin's room.

"You can go see her now if you want, just don't stay too long, she's very tired," Claire told them. Jessica followed Jake into the room. "Cait?" Jake asked softly. Caitlin looked up with a smile.

"I was hoping you'd come see me," she murmured. Caitlin gave Jessica a little wave.

"How are you feeling?" Jessica asked, sitting down in the chair.

"Sore, but at least I don't have to have a baby I didn't want," Caitlin said with a small smile. Jessica laughed weakly.

"That wasn't funny," Jake scolded.

"I know, but you both look so solemn that I wanted to lighten the mood," Caitlin said.

"What's wrong?" Jessica asked, seeing the look in Caitlin's eyes.

"I know Jake told you that I might not be able to get pregnant again," Caitlin began. Jessica nodded and gave her a sympathetic look. Everyone looked up as Cal poked his head in.

"I'm glad to see you're awake Caitlin, but I need to steal Jake for a bit," Cal said. Jake kissed the top of Caitlin's head and followed Cal out the door.

"You're worried that you won't be able to have a child out of love," Jessica observed. Caitlin nodded.

"I killed the baby Jake and I made out of a stupid fear and now it might be too late," Caitlin cried. Jessica held her new friend and looked up helplessly when Claire walked back in.

"Caitlin, I need for you to calm down," Claire warned. Caitlin tried to compose herself, but was unable to stop crying.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked, hurrying back in as Claire gave Caitlin a shot that calmed her down almost instantly.

"She was hyperventilating and I had to sedate her," Claire answered. "She'll need some counseling, but she'll be okay in time," she added before leaving. Jake looked at Jessica who sighed.

"Caitlin is worried she lost her one chance to have a baby out of love when she had the abortion," Jessica murmured. The look on Jake's face worried Jessica; he looked like he wanted to kill Marisol.

-2 weeks later-

"I can't believe Cal gave everyone some time off," Jessica commented to Caitlin as she watched her friend play with her breakfast. Jessica glanced at Danny whose worried expression mirrored her own.

"Everyone needs a break," Danny said as Claire walked into the mess.

"Claire, Caitlin, would you like to go into town with me?" Jessica asked. Claire nodded.

"C'mon Cait, it'll be fun," Jessica said. Caitlin nodded reluctantly. The three girls finished their breakfast and headed towards one of the company vans.

"So what's going on?" Caitlin asked as the girls strolled down the sidewalk. Jessica grinned.

"I need help picking out something," Jessica replied. Caitlin and Claire waited for Jessica to finish her thought. "I talked Cal into letting Danny and I get married at the compound before I get knocked up again," Jessica joked. Claire laughed and Caitlin smiled.

"Your kids are beautiful," Caitlin told Jessica who nodded.

"I love them dearly, and I hope to give them more brothers and sisters, but I want the wedding band first," Jessica agreed. Claire and Caitlin laughed. Jessica stopped short as she recognized a woman standing outside of the post office. "Mom?" Jessica asked in disbelief. Her mother turned around.

"Hello Jessica," her mother said, looking her daughter up and down. "I see you haven't gotten yourself knocked up yet, I suppose that is a good thing," she added. Claire opened her mouth to defend her friend but Jessica silenced her with a look.

"What are you doing here mom?" Jessica wanted to know.

"Looking for my daughter, is that a crime?" her mother retorted. Jessica sighed.

"What's going on mother?" Jessica asked.

"I haven't seen you since you were fifteen, is it too hard to belief that I have missed you?" Jessica started laughing and her laughter turned to tears.

"Mother, you haven't seen me since I was fifteen because a boy became interested in me, and you threw me out," Jessica snapped. Claire and Caitlin each took one of Jessica's arms.

"C'mon Jess, let's just go find you a dress and get back so you can tease the pants off of Danny," Claire said.

"Yeah, I need a reason to smile," Caitlin added. Jessica nodded and allowed herself to be dragged past the post office and into the bridal shop. "Claire, you and Jessica start looking, I'll be right back," Caitlin said. Claire nodded and followed Jessica into the bridal shop. Caitlin walked over to Jessica's mother. "You leave Jessica alone, she's had a rough year and she doesn't need you to destroy her happiness," Caitlin said. "If you don't, you'll answer to me," she threatened.

"And what are you going to do if I don't leave MY daughter alone?" Jessica's mother wanted to know.

"There are quite a few things I could do to you. Don't make me," Caitlin said before walking into the store.

"Caitlin, come look!" Jessica squealed the minute she saw her friend enter the store. Caitlin walked over to where Jessica and Claire were standing.

"Jess, it's perfect!" Caitlin exclaimed, seeing the white satin dress. It had spaghetti straps and a neckline that stopped just above Jessica's milk filled breasts. The dress showed off Jessica's still dainty waist.

"Danny will love seeing you walk down the isle in that," Claire agreed. She helped Jessica take the dress off and before Jessica could look at the price tag, Claire handed it to a store employee. "Hold that up front for us please," Claire said. The employee nodded and whisked the dress away.

"Claire, I only have a three hundred dollar budget for everything," Jessica protested. Claire smiled.

"Let me buy the dress. Actually, Cal is buying the dress, he gave me his credit card. He told me to put the entire bill on it as his way of apologizing for sending Danny on an op that lasted until your due date," Claire said. Tears filled Jessica's eyes as she pulled on her tank top and skirt.

"C'mon, let's get your shoes and other accessories," Caitlin said, brightening.

When the girls returned to the compound, Danny, Cal and Jake were waiting anxiously for them.

"What's wrong?" Jessica asked.

"Kylie's sick," Danny answered. Claire handed the bags in her hands to Cal.

"Where is she?" Claire asked gently.

"My room with Paul," Danny answered as Jake took Will from Danny. Jake could see Jessica beginning to panic.

"Hey Jess, why don't you and Caitlin show me what you bought and then you can go check in with Claire," Jake suggested.

"Can I just store the dress in your room and go be with Kylie?" Jessica asked. Jake nodded, handed Will to Caitlin and then took the dress bag from Jessica. "If Will gets sleepy, put him in our room, there's a key in his diaper bag and take the baby monitor until one of us gets back," Jessica told them before running to the infirmary.

"Wow he was really wound up tonight," Jake commented after he and Caitlin put Will down in his crib. Caitlin nodded. "He must sense that something is wrong," she murmured, sitting down on Jake's bed.

"You okay?" Jake asked. Caitlin nodded. "What's wrong Cait?" Jake asked, knowing something was off.

"After spending so much time with Will and Kylie, I am reminded of what I threw away," Caitlin murmured. Jake sighed.

"Caitlin, that was a long time ago. We were both so young, and honestly, it was probably for the best. We were what, nineteen?" Jake murmured. Caitlin nodded. "So what's the matter?" Jake asked, sensing there was still something bothering her. Caitlin said something that Jake had to strain to hear. "What did you say?" Jake wanted to know.

"I want a baby," Caitlin repeated, loud enough for Jake to hear. Jake swallowed. "I know you don't want to hear that, especially since we aren't exactly in a relationship," she murmured. Jake laughed a little.

"You could say that," he agreed. Caitlin stood up to leave. "I meant about the being in a relationship. I love you Caitlin, I never stopped, even if I wanted to," Jake said, grabbing her hand to stop her from leaving. Caitlin looked at Jake in surprise.

"What are you saying?" Caitlin asked. Jake smiled and pulled Caitlin to him.

"Let's try for a baby," Jake murmured before lowering his lips to hers. Caitlin pulled away from Jake long enough to pull her clothing off and she laughed with the speed at which Jake rid himself of his own clothing. "Do you have any idea of how long I have waited for you?" Jake growled, tossing her on the bed gently. Caitlin giggled as Jake trailed kisses down her neck and onto her belly. Her giggles turned to a gasp as Jake's mouth found her core.

"You're driving me crazy!" Caitlin gasped. Jake looked up and grinned.

"You've been driving me crazy for ten years," Jake said, nudging the tip of his hard cock just inside of Caitlin's sopping wet core. Caitlin tensed and tears filled her eyes. "Caitlin, relax, it's me, not someone else. I won't hurt you," Jake murmured. He tried to push in further. "Caitlin, look at me," Jake said, when Caitlin tried to push him away. "Catie, it's me," Jake said softly. The use of his old nickname stilled Caitlin's actions.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Jake asked. Caitlin nodded.

"I need this Jake, I need you," Caitlin said. Jake locked his eyes with hers as he plunged completely into her. Caitlin moaned and closed her eyes as Jake began to thrust deeper and deeper inside her.

"Tell me if I hurt you," Jake said with a groan of contentment.

"The only way you could hurt me is if you stopped," Caitlin gasped. Jake groaned as Caitlin matched him thrust for thrust.

"I couldn't stop if I wanted to," Jake managed, thrusting harder and faster, his lips closed around Caitlin's left nipple causing her to cry out. "You're beautiful," Jake groaned. He could feel the tension building inside of Caitlin. "Stop holding back," Jake ordered thrusting again hard and fast. Caitlin came with an loud scream. Caitlin's climax fueled his and Jake came with a loud roar. Jake pressed his lips to Caitlin's forehead. "Are you alright? I didn't hurt you did I?" Jake asked after his breathing returned to normal.

"I'm fine, you didn't hurt me," Caitlin assured him, reaching up and running her fingers through her hair. Jake moved to roll off of Caitlin but she wrapped her arms around him. "Don't leave me!" she cried.

Jake groaned. "I have to get up Catie, I have guard duty in an hour," Jake told her. Caitlin pouted and Jake laughed. "You can stay here. I don't know how long Jess and Danny will be in the infirmary with Kylie, but regardless, I'd be glad to see you when I get back," Jake said. Caitlin reluctantly pulled her arms back to her side and Jake rolled off of her with a sigh. Jake pulled his clothing back on and sat down on the bed next to Caitlin. "I'll be back by midnight," he promised. Caitlin nodded and kissed Jake before he left for the front gate.

"Wake up Catie!" Jake exclaimed, shaking her awake. Caitlin sat up with a small scream and Jake pulled her into a hug. "What's wrong?" he asked, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Bad dream," Caitlin murmured, taking a deep breath and snuggling closer to Jake.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked. Caitlin nodded.

"Oh, Jess came by to get the baby monitor; Kylie's okay, just a really bad ear infection," Caitlin told Jake. Jake smiled.

"I'm glad to hear that," Jake murmured, kneeling down on the bed next to Caitlin. Jake reached for Caitlin but she pulled away. "What's wrong?" Jake wanted to know.

"I'm a little sore," Caitlin admitted.

"I was too rough wasn't I?" Jake asked in concern.

"No, not too rough, but it's been a while for me," Caitlin told him. Jake smiled and gave her a hug.

"Stay with me tonight," Jake whispered. Caitlin smiled and curled up on the bed in Jake's arms and drifted off to sleep.