Seashells Ch. 04

She had lost her fear of him. She moved to his side. "Love me," she said. "Love me and make me forget."

"Come here," he said, patting the bed. He lay on his side. As she lay beside him, he saw the desire in her eyes, the warmth, the need of him burning in them. Her lips were parted, just beginning to be caught, tamed and kissed, but he tried to control his emotions. As her hand moved gently over his chest, he sucked in a ragged gasp of air. Eyes closed, he tried to control his need... but hot fire licked through his lower body. He hungered to have her in every possible way.

She reached for his shirt and grabbing it with both hands, pulled it apart, buttons flying across the room. Georgia felt him tense as she touched his chest. She felt as if she was caught in an extraordinary heat and joy. Her heart was opening rapidly, ravenously. All she could do was follow its overwhelming commands, follow her own senses as they filled her with a bursting demand for life.

Her dress was gone in a moment, falling to the floor, kicked under the bed. She felt her breasts brush against his chest. She wanted to kiss him; she needed to feel his mouth against hers. To kiss him was what she wanted more than anything else. As her lips glided against the hard line of his mouth, she felt his fingers dig deeply for an instant into her should, not painfully, but hungrily. Ecstasy spiraled through her. She felt his lips soften, accepting her exploration. How strong his mouth was, she thought, as she pressed her own more forcefully against his, feeling the power of him and savoring it completely.

With a groan, Jack opened his mouth. He felt almost helpless beneath her, her seeking and when she moved the tip of her tongue across his lower lip, he groaned again. He moved his hand against her slender shoulder. He could feel her strength, her femininity as his fingers slid along and captured the back of her neck, bringing her down more surely against his mouth. He heard Georgia moan but it was a moan of pleasure. That drove him over the edge as her mouth blossomed hotly beneath his powerful, returning exploration. Her tongue met his and he captured her and drew her more deeply into him. The brush of her taut breasts against his chest, the way her hand slid down the line of dark hair in the middle of his stomach, her fingers finding entrance beneath his pants waistband, told him what she was asking of him.

She drowned in the splendor and power of his capturing kiss as he shifted her onto her back. She willingly lay beside him, her arms around his shoulders, her mouth clinging hotly to his. Yes, she wanted him in every possible way. Nothing mattered anymore, not that she was colored, not that he was white, not their fragile future.

The driving force within her was to create life, to feel alive. As she felt his hand move down her shoulder to remove the strap of her brassiere, she accepted that whatever would happen, would happen. As he stretched his long, hard body against hers once more, he smiled down at her. It was a smile of tenderness.

As his hand came to rest alongside her firm breast, she moaned. Then his thumb moved upward to encircle her nipple and she cried out softly, pressing herself wantonly against him. His smile was one of a man who loved his woman, knew what she wanted and what she would like. It was so easy to close her eyes and surrender to him in every way. Tonight, she knew she was safe with him. Tonight, he would love her and she could return that love.

Jack felt her hand move boldly beneath the band of his trousers as he lay above her, her head resting on his arm. He was the sparkle in her eyes and like the softness of her now pouty, well-kissed lips. Leaving her side for a moment, he removed his pants.

The instant his body met and touched hers, she moaned and closed her eyes. She felt him slide his arm beneath her shoulders and bring her fully against him once more. It was possessive. Just the burning touch of their damp flesh meeting made her sigh raggedly with need. Reaching out, Georgia slid her fingers downward across his hard, flat abdomen. Instantly, he tensed. As her fingers slowly, deliciously, curled around his erection, she heard him moan. It was a moan of pleasure. Opening her thighs to him, she lifted her chin upward. She was not disappointed. His mouth fell upon hers. Within moments, she felt his heavy warmth settling above her. It was so easy to open her thighs to him, to feel his knee nudging between them, opening her even more for that sweet assault. Yes, this was what she wanted. Needed so desperately that the ache in her lower body was becoming almost painful in its intensity.

When his lips tore from her mouth and settled on the hardened nipple of her breast, Georgia cried out. Instantly, her fingers dug deeply into his shoulders. As he began to suckle her in slow, deep motions, her hips automatically lifted to receive his thrust into her.

A cry of joy tore from her parted lips. She threw her head back; her spine arched to receive the power of him as he plunged deeply into her hot, slick depths. His suckling combined with the lightening-like bolt of fire that jolted through her and all she could do was moan with pleasure, surrender to him and meet him with equal fervor and driving need. Her fingers ranged upward and she gripped his hair as he teethed her nipple gently, his mouth sending wild sensations throughout her. She felt him groan as she closed her legs over his and captured him within her. They were joined; they were one. In that glorious, heated moment, as she offered her virginity she knew without a doubt that she loved him. He was deeply within her now and the driving force of his hips, the ragged breath near her ear, the powerful movement of him taking her, capturing her, was all she wanted.

Within seconds, she released his hair and grasped his long, powerful body. His flesh was damp, trembling, hard and she met and matched his driving thrusts. Their ragged breaths joined in tumult. Their hearts slammed in unison. Their flesh gleamed and they slid wildly against one another in an out-of-control ravenous hunger. Her blood pounded hotly through her as if with a raging fever as they breathed together with gasps of pleasure. Their moans mingled. One of his hands gripped her shoulder and he slid the other beneath her hips, lifting her at an angle. Instantly, heated pleasure exploded through her. She could do nothing but cry out, helpless beneath the power of her own surging womanhood as desire burst and moved powerfully through her. She felt him tense and continue to thrust into her, holding her in that position so that she could enjoy the explosion of pleasure now shimmering through her like hot sunlight.

Her world collided with his and the heat within her body was like molten, life-giving energy. She felt him moan again, louder this time and he gripped her hips and thrust even more deeply into her. She arched to meet him. The moment was magical, mystical for her. They were joined; they were together as she had wished for since the day she had met him at the door.

With a groan, he collapsed beside her in the aftermath. He heard her sigh raggedly as she moved to her side next to him. Just the small, fleeting touches of her fingers upon his spent, damp body made his heart sing. He kissed her flushed cheek and gazed deeply into her dark eyes, now filled with happiness. This was the woman he loved.

With a sigh, Georgia rested her head on his shoulder and curved her arm against his body. How wonderful it felt to be in his arms like this. He grazed her hair with his fingers. Her eyes were closed but he saw the soft play of her lips, the way the corners lifted and knew that he had given her pleasure. She had given him no less. He moved his hand across her abdomen, his hand splayed out against the chocolate tones of her flesh.

Moving his hand up to cup her breast, he listened as she moaned and then, barely opening her eyes, she smiled at him. "You are so beautiful," he said and then gently kissed her again. His words seemed so inadequate; he wanted to tell her so much, that it wasn't her beauty that had captivated him but her.

Chapter 13

The next morning came early enough; the early spring sun shining through the windows left undraped the night before. Georgia reached out, her eyes still closed, for Jack and found him gone. "Jack?" she called out. Startled, almost terrified, hoping he hadn't left her behind, she left the bed and went into the bathroom.

He was gone. She was alone. She sank back down on the bed, eyes closed, hands to her face, wondering what had happened. She put on her dress.

Several minutes later, there was the rattle of a key in the door and he entered, carrying a tray with covered breakfast plates

"Good morning," he said. "I've got breakfast."

Turning more toward her, he found her crying. "I thought you had left me."

"How could I ever do that?" he asked. "Georgia, how could you think that?"

"I..." She started to cry and rushed into his arms, forcing him to drop the tray onto the room's bed. "Oh, Jack, you were gone and I..."

"It's all right, Honey. I'm here." He held her to him, his arms gathering her in, her head now resting on his shoulder, her tears making his shirt damp. He rocked back and forth quietly, holding her tightly, embracing her, lifting her enough from the floor that she floated lightly above the rug.

The drive back to Windcliff was once again a silent affair. She had much to wonder about. What was she going to do now? Every once in a while, he stole a glance in her direction, wondering what she was thinking. Her silence had him worried

He pulled the automobile over to the side of the roadway. She wasn't even aware of her tears that trickled down her face until he ran his lips over her cheeks. Her heart thundered in her ears.

She felt like a fool.

And she felt like the most cherished woman on earth.

He sat with her, held her, stroked her hair and ran his thumb beneath her eyes, over her cheeks.

The air became charged and expectant. She looked over at him, expecting... expecting what? She found...

Intensity.

Seriousness.

Compassion.

And desire.

That last emotion registered an instant before his lips covered hers. Softly. So softly.

Her body went limp, melting into his, meeting the kiss and reveling in it. Her mind went blank of every responsibility she had, every care, every worry.

The smell of the sea and Jack wrapped around her like a comforting blanket. Yet comfort wasn't in any way the right description for what he made her feel. She curled into his lap, feeling his arms tighten around her, her own arms around his neck, her fingers delving into his hair.

Leaning in close, he kissed her in a manner that stole her breath away. The scratch of his beard against her face would leave marks but she couldn't think of that then. She only felt... heat, flashing and incendiary, whipping though her.

They sat there, kissing for what seemed like an eternity.

They arrived back at Windcliff in the early afternoon and as he put the Ford away in the carriage house, she sat, her fingers still touching her lips where he had kissed her, touched her, loved her.

She felt rather than heard the auto's door close and then he was next to her, holding hers open, waiting expectantly. She couldn't move, the events of the two days more than she could understand. She had freely given her virginity to a man that she had known for such a short time, regardless of the fact that she was in love with him and he had said he was in love with her. What future did she have with him? There was no engagement to enjoy, no marriage to look to, no chance to walk down the street with him without people watching, shaking their heads in disapproval. What kind of life was that? One of furtive glances, one of hidden meanings whenever they left Windcliff, one of despair and helplessness.

And, she shuddered to think, what if someone else caught his eye, offering him what she couldn't... children he could acknowledge? Could she live with that?

Leaving him standing by the auto, she ran into the house and then her room, closing the door behind her, closing whatever naïve, foolish hope that she had once had.

She collapsed on the bed, her tears already staining her pillow.

There was a knocking on the door. "Georgia? Are you all right? Georgia?" Jack was met with almost silent sobbing. He knocked again and then noticed two of the girls watching him. A look from him scattered them down the hallway and then the stairs.

"Please, go 'way," she softly said.

Hesitantly, his hand just inches from the door, he stopped. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against the door's cool wood, both hands up against it. He questioned what to do. He was lost and never expected her reaction, especially after kissing on the way back.

Hours later, he returned, a tray of food with him. "Georgia, I have your dinner. Please, open the door."

He waited and waited and then, just as he was turning to leave, the door opened slightly and then enough that he could walk in. He looked around and after putting the tray down on a small table next to the bed, turned to her and pulled her into his arms. "Georgia, what's the matter? What are you afraid of?"

"As much as I love you, there's no future for us. I was just fooling myself, that's all."

"You're wrong. You and I can..."

"Can what? Can what, Jack? Walk down the street without people staring, making comments? Get married? Have children? Windcliff isn't the world, Jack, it's a dream, that's all, just a dream. Let's not turn it into a nightmare."

As hard as he tried, he didn't know what to say. No love is easy, no romance simple but her arguments cut him to the bone. If she wouldn't dream with him, then he was lost.

"I brought you dinner. Look, about last night..."

"Shhh," she said, looking at the food. "It's all right, it's over. It was beautiful... a beautiful dream and for a moment I was like anyone else and now it's over."

He turned her toward him and grabbed her shoulders. "Look, it's not over, it's just beginning. I'll wait as long as it takes for you to see that."

"Oh, God, what am I supposed to do?" she prayed, kneeling next to her bed like a small child. She had never been so confused in her entire life. She loved him. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone.

Georgia had time, perhaps too much time for thinking, for the arrival of the new girls had done a great deal to make her daily tasks less burdensome. Before many days had passed, she found that nearly all her household duties had been taken by them and she was left with little to do besides supervision, bookkeeping and teaching the girls to read fluently.

It was Susan who arranged the day's menus with Ellen and the others had fallen into a daily routine that soon needed no further input from her.

In spite of her seemingly good fortune, she did not have a contented state of mind. Part of the problem was that she had so little to do. Now that the house was fully staffed, or nearly so, she had too much restless time. And more often than not, the subject of her thoughts was Jack.

She did her best to push him out of her thoughts whenever he appeared there, but the feelings she had acknowledged after their night in the hotel would not be so easily denied. Those thoughts lurked beneath the surface of her thoughts like a constant ache and that ache was a hundred times worse when she was actually with him. She often found excuses to go where he was, merely for the painful pleasure of seeing him and speaking a few words with him. It was a constant struggle to deny herself these small pleasures but for the most part she did deny herself and took care to keep out of his way during the morning and early afternoon.

In the evenings, though, it was a different matter. Georgia could not avoid seeing Jack then, for if she had tried to excuse herself from the dinner table, he would have urged her back. This was her excuse for appearing punctually in the dining room night after night, though she sometimes suspected that it was only another instance of self-indulgent weakness on her part, a weakness she could not deny herself, even though it brought her more pain than pleasure.

Jack was always kind to her whenever they were together and often made efforts to draw her into some sort of conversation and she could not resist the opportunity to see and listen to him. Many times, she sat silently at the table, picking over her food while the others spoke cheerfully about the day's events and the music they could hear from the radiola.

Chapter 14

Susan put the breakfast plate down before Georgia. "Would you like anything else, Georgia?"

"Uh, no... thank you." She looked at the girl, almost daring her to say something else. She picked up her fork and stabbed the egg, letting the orange-yellow yolk run into the pancakes. It was two days since they had returned from Monterey and although matters had not returned to 'normal' they had vastly improved from that first evening.

She was determined to talk with him, to tell him how she felt, to tell him what she would do...

The ocean's swash rushed ashore, its cold water getting their bare feet wet. She held up her dress out of the water as they walked along the narrow beach and dug her foot into the coarse sand.

"Jack? Do you love me? I mean, really love me?" There, she said it, bringing it out into the open.

He stopped walking and spun her around to face him. "Yes," he said, softly, looking into her eyes. "I do."

"Then, I will be your lover, your mistress, anything you want. I don't want to ever leave you."

He tried to imagine how hard it had been for her to speak to him, to admit what they both knew, to accept what would be.

He put his arm around her waist and drew her close as they continued through the shallow, rushing water. "Look," he said, bending to pick up seashells, beautiful but chipped.

She reached out and enclosed them in her hands, turning them over, scraping her fingernail across the broken edges. How like their love, she thought, beautiful but marred. She rinsed them in the froth, watching the last of the sand wash away, the water making them shine like polish.

Back in the house, she laid the shells down on her dresser where she would see them everyday, a reminder of her life to be.