Second Chance Ch. 04

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S-Des
S-Des
3,012 Followers

"That's the private eye I hired to find you. He's got pictures of this visit, including us trying to talk to you and you responding by attacking Pete here. I'd hate to have to add felony assault and drunk & disorderly to what you're already facing."

"What do you mean, what I'm already facing?" he asked, confused.

"Do you know a man named Thomas Walker?"

Jake eyed him carefully. "That's my boss at the clinic," he answered, holding his side.

"Well, as soon as you feel up to returning to work, he wants to see you. You are going to have a long talk with him about stalking women who work at the hospital, and creating problems between the clinic and one of their biggest business partners. He also golfs with Pete here on the weekends," Tim added with a wink at his friend. He doubted Jake would think to check up on that little white lie, and it would be a good way to keep him looking over his shoulder.

"And he doesn't appreciate having to clean up messes like this for low-level employees," Pete added.

"So I'm not going to be talking to you again, Jake," Tim said calmly, "But that doesn't mean I'm not having someone pay attention to the kind of shit you're doing. My advice would be to move to a better climate now before things get more difficult for you, but that's your call. However, if you ever see Donna again, I suggest you run, don't walk, in the opposite direction. If she tells me she even saw you, I promise you that I'm going to turn your life to shit. Do you believe me?" he hissed, letting the stun gun hover inches above his body menacingly, then hitting the button causing the electricity to arc brightly in the dimly lit parking lot.

"Yes, yes!" Jake whined. "I'm sorry."

He stepped away and headed toward the car, quickly climbing in. As they pulled out of the lot, Pete looked at Tim and asked, "Do you feel better?"

He shook his head resolutely. "I don't give a fuck about him. I just want to find Donna."

~~~~~

Three days later, nothing had changed. Donna was ignoring all of Tim's attempts to contact her. Around noon, Pete received the call that Trisha had gone into labor.

"We're leaving now," he relayed. "If you want you could come with us and see what happens."

Tim chuckled, despite his mood. "Thanks buddy, but somehow I doubt they're going to believe I'm a relative. Go take care of your wife and meet your baby. I can't wait to hug them both. Trust me, you guys are what's keeping me going through this."

Pete wanted to say more, but couldn't find the words. It hurt him so much to see Tim like this, and he ached for Donna as well. He wasn't used to feeling helpless, and didn't like it. As he hung up the phone, he heard his wife call his name, and happily bounded up the stairs, grateful for his good fortune, and hopeful that he could find a way to make his last ditch idea work.

~~~~~

Tim finished up Pete's work which he had agreed to take care of, then let Rhonda know everything was done and that he was leaving early. He had an important meeting that he couldn't miss. An hour later he walked into the house, wishing more than anything that he could avoid the upcoming conversation.

"I just can't believe it," his mother said, disturbed beyond words at the turn of events. "How could you do something like that?"

"Mom, I wish I had an answer. I was angry, I was hurt, and I thought there was proof that she had cheated on me. After not telling me he talked to her, then seeing them together at that restaurant...I just lost it. I didn't want to hear what she had to say. I was sure it was all lies."

"And now?"

He sighed. "Now I know the truth. Now I see how badly I screwed up this whole thing. All I had to do was be honest with her about him calling our house and we would have put it together. She is the only woman I've ever loved, even after college when I pretended that she was nothing to me. After everything she went through to make me believe, I still kept her from getting all the way inside my heart. I was a scared, stupid idiot."

Diane leaned forward, pulling her only son tightly against her, trying to comfort him.

He accepted the gesture before gently pulling away. "I've thought of everything possible, even getting the private eye to help me get in touch with her. I'm just afraid that if she feels like I'm pushing too hard, she'll resent it. It would just push her away and I might never get to make this right."

"The thing that keeps running through my mind is how carefully she acted around me when she came back. If she had come storming in saying how sorry she was, I'd have told her to get lost and never opened myself up to her again. The way she acted...it threw me off balance, which made me want to keep talking to her. That's what gave us a chance to get through the bad memories. That has to be the best way to get through to her."

"Tim, I've never talked to you about the things Donna said to me during that time. I promise you she never believed you'd forgive her. She wanted to see me, because she wanted to find a way to help take away the pain she had put you through. I told her that it was best to give you space, and maybe that's what you need to do right now as well."

"That's unacceptable," Tim said firmly. "She's suffering right now because of me. I have to find a way to at least let her know how I really feel. If she needs time after that, I will respect her wishes. I just need to find a way to get through to her."

"Tim, I can't tell you what to do, and I can't promise you what will work. You've hurt her terribly. What I can do is tell you that she loves you with all her heart. After all the conversations we had, I believe more than anything that even when she made those horrible mistakes, she loved you the way that you love her. Maybe what you need is to make sure she knows you understand that?"

Tim pondered her words quietly, suddenly an idea occurring to him. "Thank's mom," he said, giving her a hug. "I think I understand what I have to do. I just feel stupid that I didn't get it a long time ago."

He left and drove home, trying to convince himself that it wasn't too late. When he stepped through the front door, he knew something was wrong. Things appeared to be moved around, and some of her possessions were missing.

"Donna," Tim called out cautiously. He went up to their bedroom and found more of her personal items gone. The closet was open and her side was empty. His shoulders slumped and he walked back down the stairs. When he had come back from the two week vacation, there were only a few necessities missing. It looked like Donna had taken just enough to survive, probably hoping to come back home. There was enough gone now that it seemed likely she wasn't planning on ever coming back.

He walked back into the living room and noticed the envelope. Tim wasn't sure how he missed it the first time, but it was in the center of the coffee table. With shaking hands, he picked it up and opened the flap. As he pulled out the note inside, there was a soft clink. He looked down to see Donna's engagement ring bounce off of the table and onto the floor. Tim bent over and picked it up, his breath catching in his throat. Clutching it in one hand, he opened the letter and read.

Tim, You can have this back now, I don't need it any more. Please don't try to contact me at the hospital again. You made your feelings about me clear. I want you to know that other than the two times you already know about, I haven't seen or even spoken to Jake since college. There is nothing that could make me want to be with that man again; you are all I wanted, although I don't expect you to believe me. I love you and am sorry that you couldn't trust me. I realize some of this is my fault for the mistakes I've made, and for that I am sorry.

There is nothing of yours that I want. You can keep your house and everything in it. Just let me go and we can try to get on with our lives.

Donna

When Pete called two hours later to tell him about little Cynthia Marie, Tim tried to sound happy for him, but it was obvious that his heart wasn't in it. He didn't say anything about the ring or letter because this was a time for Pete to be concerned about his family. After giving him a chance to tell all the details about the birth and how mother and daughter were doing, Tim told him to give Trisha a kiss and said goodnight. Hours later he fell asleep on the couch, still staring at the ring and wondering if there was anything that could possibly undo this mess.

~~~~~

"Hello," the woman's voice answered, sounding openly hostile.

"Caroline, it's Tim," he said, out of courtesy. It was obvious from her tone that she knew who was calling. "Can I please talk to you for a second?"

Just when Tim thought she was going to hang up on him again, she hesitated. Maybe it was something in his voice this time, or perhaps it was something else, but she gave him a small opening.

"Go ahead," she said grudgingly.

He took a deep breath, gratefully giving silent thanks for finally catching a break. "Caroline, I did a terrible thing. The reasons aren't important, although I want you to understand that I know Donna didn't do anything wrong. I'll tell you what happened if you want me to, but they are just excuses. The bottom line is that I hurt your daughter terribly because of my jealousy and insecurity."

There was silence on the line as he paused to give her the chance to interject. "Go on," she said, giving him a ray of hope.

"The only thing that matters right now is that Donna understands that I never meant the horrible things I said to her, even when I believed the worst. I said them because I was hurt, but they were just to try and make her feel what I was feeling. There was never any time, not a second, that I hated your daughter. She is the best thing that ever happened to me and I will love her until the day I die."

"Well," Caroline said, "that certainly sounds more like the young man I thought I knew. But Donna is devastated. I don't believe that there's anything you can say to make up for what you did."

"No, there isn't," he agreed. "But I'm not important right now. Since she won't talk to me, I want to tell you what happened. If you understand how it did, maybe there's something you can do for her." He struggled to find the words, realizing that his prepared speech wasn't going to move her. He needed to reach deeper and tell her how he really felt.

"If something happened to me tomorrow, she'd think I actually believed the terrible things I said for the rest of her life and I can't let that happen. At least if she knows the truth, it might not be as painful for her. Even if she can't forgive me, I need her to know how I really feel."

"Fine," she said, a little more relaxed. "You tell me what happened and I'll tell her. I won't promise anything else."

Tim held his hand over the phone as he breathed a huge sigh of relief. "All I ask is that you meet me somewhere. If I'm going to tell you everything, I can't do it over the phone. I'll fly out there tonight if you want me to." He crossed his fingers, hoping she would see the logic in his request. He knew there was no way to really make her see how sincere he was if she couldn't see him.

"That won't be necessary," she said stiffly.

"Why?" he replied, his hopes crashing.

"Because I'm already here."

Yes! he thought gratefully, resisting the urge to cheer.

"Where do you want to meet and when?"

~~~~~

"Do you think that will really work?" Pete asked doubtfully.

Tim shrugged his shoulders. "If Caroline knows everything, at least Donna will too. It might not get me any closer to her winning her back, but that can wait. I tried to sleep last night but all I could do was lie there and think about her sitting in bed somewhere alone. Just imagine how much she's suffering." He shook his head sadly. "The things I said to her, then I threw her out...on our anniversary."

Pete put his hand on Tim's shoulder reassuringly. "It was a terrible mistake, but beating yourself up isn't going to solve anything."

Tim nodded. "I know, but until I'm sure she's okay, there's no way I'll be able to deal with this. You still haven't seen her at the hospital, right?"

He shook his head. "I know she's there, but I only get to go straight from the door to Trish's room. I feel bad about it, she and Trish had gotten so close. She must be avoiding us because she thinks we'll try to get in the middle of things."

"Look Pete, you've done way more than I have any right to ask. Trisha warned me not to jump to conclusions, but I didn't listen. This is the time for you to take care of your wife and little girl. I got myself into this mess, I'll find a way out. If you see Donna, don't do anything but introduce her to Cynthia. I know that would mean the world to her right now."

"I guess you're right, but I still wish we could help."

"Me too," he said sadly, "but this is something I need to do myself." There was a brief silence while they both struggled to find the right words. Finally Pete broke the awkward pause.

"So where are you going to meet her?" he asked quietly.

~~~~~

It was just after five o'clock when Tim walked into the restaurant. After briefly checking up and down the aisles, he spotted Caroline sitting in a booth between two other empty ones, facing the door. He took a deep breath to steady himself, then walked toward her, grateful the booths had tall backs so they'd have some privacy.

"Caroline," he said nervously.

"Tim," she replied tersely. Her greeting wasn't as cold as he had anticipated. He tried to take comfort from that small mercy. He slid into the seat facing her and took a sip of the water the waiter had brought. She glanced down and he wondered if she saw how much it was shaking.

"How is she?" he asked.

"How do you think she is?" came the hostile reply, causing him to wince. "Look Tim, I'm not here for pleasantries. I always liked you and that's the only reason that I'm giving you the opportunity to talk. I..." her voice trailed off and she looked over his shoulder momentarily losing her train of thought. Snapping her eyes back to him she continued.

"I wanted to know how you could have acted that way toward my daughter. She loves you more than anything and from what she told me, you were positively cruel."

Looking down, he tried to think of a way to explain his actions. Instead he thought about how he'd been avoiding the truth with Donna and what it had led to. The truth, just tell her the truth, the voice screamed in his head. He took another deep breath and decided to plunge headfirst.

"I was cruel," he said, looking at her. "Mean, selfish, and cruel." His response seemed to startle her. "I believed the worst about her and instead of acting like a man and talking about it, I made the worst mistake of my life. Everything I said to her was me trying to make her feel as badly as I did. It was juvenile and she didn't deserve any of it. Then when I found out she was innocent..." Tim stopped, unable to find any words to express the rush of emotions he felt.

"It took two years, but I finally understand why Donna came to see me, and why she said what she did." Seeing Caroline's confused expression he pressed on. "Your daughter isn't just the woman I married, she's part of my heart, and has been since the day I met her. I don't want to find her so I can say I'm sorry and hope she forgives me. I need to find her so I can try to take away the pain I caused. The idea of her suffering...it's more than I can take. I feel like I'm dying inside."

"When she hurt me in college, she had to live with that pain for years. Finding out she was wrong about Jake, having to leave school," he looked into Caroline's eyes empathetically, "losing her father; it was all too much. There was no way to absorb that much pain. The one part of it she could control was to find a way to help me. She knew if she could make some of my pain go away, then there was a way she could heal and go on with her own life."

"Well, that's exactly how I feel now. I can't just go on and let her be in pain because of me. She might never forgive me...maybe she shouldn't," he said sadly, "but what I can do is to make amends for what I did to her. If she can understand what happened and why, then I will accept whatever she decides. Even if it's a future without me," he finished with a great deal of difficulty.

Caroline's eyes seemed to soften. "What on earth made you think she would have taken up with that man in the first place?" she asked.

Tim looked down at his hands. "He told me." He heard her gasp, but was feeling so disoriented the sound seemed to come from everywhere. He took a quick sip of water and tried to clear his head.

"It started a couple of months ago. He called the house one day, then hung up after asking for her. After that there were more calls from a number I didn't know, but there were no messages. I didn't tell Donna about it because I was suspicious about why he'd have our number. When I found her at the restaurant with her friends and him, it was almost the end. I was so angry." He paused to sip his water.

"Donna gave me a couple days to cool down, then explained everything and apologized. She was so sincere that I forgave her."

"But there was still a part of me that just couldn't fully accept what she was saying. I tried to tuck it away and enjoy the anniversary, but I know it was still there, eating away at me. When we got to the restaurant, Donna left for the restroom. About fifteen minutes after she left, Jake showed up and told me they'd been having sex since he moved to town. He also said that she was gone so long because they were...together in the back of the restaurant."

He paused, finding it incredibly difficult to continue. Caroline didn't have the same problem.

"So a man you hate walks up and tells you he's having sex with your wife and you just believe him?" she said incredulously.

"No," he said, carefully trying to avoid sound like he was making excuses. "I told him it was a lie, but he said he had proof."

"What kind of proof? she asked, bewildered.

"This is going to sound crazy. A woman spilled a drink on Donna in the restroom. She had to get out of her dress to clean it before it was ruined. The woman was Jake's friend and ran out to tell him what she was wearing and a couple of personal details. That's how he convinced me he was telling the truth."

She sat back, clearly stunned. "He went through all that? For what?"

Tim shrugged his shoulders. "He claimed that he never got over her leaving him. When he moved here for the job and found out she was working at the hospital, he thought he could come between us. He used a couple of her friends at work to get information about what was going on in our lives. They never had any idea that they shouldn't talk to him about it, or what he would do. None of that matters. He isn't going to be bothering her again," he finished resolutely.

Caroline took a moment, appearing to gather herself. "Tim, I'm sorry. Neither of you should have had to deal with something like that." She looked down for a moment, still trying to take everything in. "But that doesn't excuse the way you treated my daughter."

He looked at her sincerely. "Nothing could excuse the way I acted. I love her more than anything, yet I did everything I could to hurt her. Every night I try to sleep, but just lay there thinking about how she must be feeling; wishing I could hold her and tell her I didn't mean it. I know it doesn't make much difference, but I'm so sorry I don't know how to even begin to tell her...or you. I would do anything to be able to take it back."

It didn't take any theatrics on Tim's part to make the tears come. After days of his emotions being on edge, the strain of talking to Caroline pushed him past his breaking point.

S-Des
S-Des
3,012 Followers