Second Chances Ch. 14

"I love you, my angel," he murmured.

Sarah bent her head back to search his face. She could see the glitter of his eyes, but she couldn't read his expression in the dark. Something in his voice was disturbing, as if he were desperate or afraid. She knew better than to ask what was bothering Brian. If he wanted her to know, he would tell her in his own good time. In the meantime, she offered what comfort she could.

"I know," she said softly. "I love you too."

Their lips melded and Brian felt as if she was offering him a soothing balm. Every soft sigh, every feather light caress, every flicker of her tongue against his helped to assuage some of his anxiety. His worries didn't disappear, but Sarah's patient and compassionate reassurance helped to hold them at bay. She showered him with understanding, offering sweet succor to his tortured soul.

He claimed her body with infinite gentleness, and she seemed to know that he needed tender lovemaking rather than his usual naughty play. Their eyes met and held as he stroked into her with slow, powerful thrusts. She felt as if he wanted to make her understand some unspoken message, but all she understood was how much he loved her. She knew from the way he worshipped her body, the way he savored every slick invasion, the way he caressed her cheek as he stared deep into her eyes.

When she couldn't hold out against the flood of emotion any longer, Sarah clutched him to her, trying to hold him inside as her inner muscles clamped down. With a tortured groan, Brian withdrew and bathed her stomach with his scalding fluid. He kissed her forehead when the pulsations eventually ceased against her belly.

Sarah knew in her soul that he hadn't wanted to retreat from her warmth. He had done so only to protect her, his angel, from disgrace. For his sake, she stifled her sigh of disappointment. She laid awake for a long time, listening to his even breathing as he finally found some degree of peace in exhausted sleep.

*********

The next day, Sarah and Naomi were working together in Naomi's kitchen. They had become dear friends, and they often cooked meals to share as a group. They had just pulled two steaming apple pies from the oven when Naomi shot Sarah a concerned frown.

"What's wrong, Sarah? I can tell you are upset about something."

Sarah sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. Brian's been so different lately. He never laughs or teases lately. He's always brooding and thoughtful. It's as if he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I can't help him." She glanced at Naomi, and despite the delicate blush she could feel rising in her cheeks, she continued to confide in her friend. "There have been several nights lately when I've woken up and Brian isn't in bed beside me. I know he's not sleeping well."

Naomi considered her words carefully. "I've noticed a difference in him too. Aidan says that Brian is bothered that he can't marry you, but I don't quite understand why you can't wed. You two obviously love each other."

"Yes," Sarah said quietly. "I don't doubt that Brian loves me. He keeps saying that once I remember my past, we can be married." She glanced at Naomi, and her eyes began to fill with unshed tears. "What if I never remember? It's been so long. I'm starting to wonder whether my memory will ever fully return."

Naomi sighed and embraced Sarah tightly. "There must be something we can do," she said quietly. Her eyes opened wide and her mind began to race with possibilities. "You know, Sarah, when we were in Oregon City, we visited the land claims office to enlarge Aidan's claim following our marriage. They keep all sorts of records there, and there were other government offices with records of births, marriages, and that sort of thing."

She held Sarah at arm's length and cupped her chin. "Why don't we go into town and post a letter? Perhaps if we could find some information about your past, some record of your birth or your parents' marriage or a land claim by your family, we might be able to jog your memory."

"Do you think so?" Sarah asked, her eyes filling with hope. "I suppose it's worth a try, except..." Almost as quickly as her face had brightened, it began to droop once more. "Brian has told me that I mustn't go into town. He said we had to be careful not to let anyone know that I'm living here. He says it would ruin my reputation."

"Well, that may have been true before," Naomi said thoughtfully, "but now that I'm living here too, there shouldn't be any reason for folks to frown on you living here. If anyone dares to question things, I'll tell them that you are a friend of mine and you're living in our cabin with Aidan and me. No one needs to know any different."

Sarah nibbled her bottom lip. "Maybe we should ask Brian," she said with a worried frown.

"The men are working in the far east pasture," Naomi said. "Aidan said not to expect them home until late this evening. I was thinking that you and I could go into town now. That would even give us time to do a bit of shopping." She smiled at Sarah. "You know, there's nothing like a little shopping to boost a girl's spirit."

Sarah laughed, squeezing Naomi's hand with affection. "You're right," she said. "In fact, if we are able to learn something, it would be a nice surprise for Brian. Let's do it."

Within fifteen minutes, they had the wagon hitched, and they set off to town. Their mood was cheerful once more, and they laughed as they rode along. Neither of them had any inkling what lay in store for them.