Secret Admirers Ch. 02

Ayesha watched her husband's car speed out the driveway and winced at the screeching noise the wheels made. Leaning her head against the window panel she felt silent tears course down her cheeks. She did love him and wanted to be the ideal wife but the hunger refused to be purged. It was as if there were two people in her warring to take control of her. She couldn't deny the bond that she shared with Ashwin as they had been married for so long and he was a loving husband.

But she couldn't reciprocate the way he wanted her to. She couldn't give her all to him and it hurt to see him hurt so badly.

Wiping the tears she moved towards the dining room where the uneaten food lay. As she cleared the table her mind reverted to the secret pleasure she had enjoyed in a dingy motel room with her lover just two days ago. She remembered every moment of the sensual rendezvous. Every breath that was taken against her skin, every sigh and gasp that spoke of delights untold and yet were felt with passionate intensity. She lived for those moments and felt alive if only for those precious moments spent together.

They could meet only during the lunch hour, and Ashwin of late seemed to have been calling home at all kinds of odd hours during the day to keep tabs on her. The afternoon was the only time she could say she needed to go out to grab a bite at her favorite restaurant or step out to buy groceries.

She had been carrying on this illicit affair for over a month. The excitement of giving in to temporary hedonistic pleasures seemed to sap her of mental peace. She was addicted to what she knew was wrong for her. But she couldn't stop going down the path of self- destruction.

As she worked in the kitchen, the silence that she was so used to treating as her companion suddenly sunk it's claws around her heart and she couldn't breathe. Wrapping her arms around herself she slid down and let tears rack her body.

This woman couldn't be her. This hussy that openly gave in to her desires and let an innocent deliberately get hurt was not something she could live with. And yet she could not call a stop to what she herself had initiated. Her very heart was at stake but her soul stood divided.

Never had she felt so alone, so desperate for an understanding friend. But who would understand her predicament? Resting her head against the panel she stared at the ceiling and smiled with self –deprecation. It was all her fault. She was living a lie and Ashwin was suffering because of it. If only she wasn't such a coward she would have come clean with him but without him she would be lost.

She loved him and had come to depend upon him. He was the tree and she the grass. Without him she was nothing.

Getting up she brushed away her tears and laughed. She was a bitch, she wanted to have her cake and eat it too. And it wasn't going to last for too long. Sooner or later her world was going to shatter around her and she had no one to blame for it but her own insatiable desires.

Walking up the stairs into her bedroom, she lay down on the bed and felt the cool pillow sooth her nerves. She reached over and picked up the receiver and dialed the number for India.

A familiar voice greeted her on the other side and brought fresh tears to her eyes.

"Ma?" she breathed into the phone.

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Ashwin watched the girls on the rack with dead eyes. The dark environment and semi-naked women frolicking around did nothing for him. The music thumped around him demanding his enjoyment and the drink in his hand provided him with the means to loose his pain and given to moments of temporary pleasures.

He felt out of his element. He felt detached from the world that he had come to view as an outsider. Life seemed to be passing him by and he had no way of inserting himself back into its dynamic pace and feel it's rhythm pulse through his being. He was a loose screw , a broken man looking for peace and comfort in all the wrong places.

Watching a dancer on the stage, he eyed her silicone breasts with cynicism. He could have any woman he wanted. He had the money to attract a certain kind but it wasn't in his nature to have frivolous affairs. It wasn't in him to fuck for fuck's sake. What the fuck was wrong with him? He burst out laughing, put his glass down and headed out.

The last time he had been in a Gentleman's club was back in college with his buddies with Gaurav oogling at the dancers and making all kinds of lewd jokes. He had enjoyed himself because of his friend's fun personality but now standing by the bar it reiterated his loneliness.

Hell, he had been out for over three hours and his wife was probably in bed. He could head back and he had a company to run and had a meeting early morning. If nothing else he had his work going for him and he wasn't planning to screw the one thing that he was good at.

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"Hi, Ashwin"

Ashwin looked up from his laptop at Sugandha. As usual she wasn't dressed quite so professionally. He told Gaurav to talk to her about wearing clothes a little less revealing but when the skirt's length finally went down more buttons of her shirts seemed to come undone.

No doubt she was a looker. Beautiful, thick black hair swung reached till her waist that was tiny enough to be cupped in a single grip. Her breasts were voluptuous high peaks that were always incased in tight shirts that gave a peek into the deep recesses that left a man wanting for more.

And if a man could peel his eyes away from her intriguing chest to a face chiseled with sharp features, he probably would be in a dilemma as to which part of her body was more alluring. Her big chocolate colored eyes were sharp in their sight and clearly pointed at an intelligent brain.

But she still got on people's nerves. She gave off an aggressive vibe that rubbed people off the wrong way despite her usually friendly attitude. Most of his team tended to avoid her, him included and he tried to make Gaurav deal with her on day to day basis. But now she had cornered him and there was no where to run.

The account she was working for was one of their major clients and though they had together seen a lot of ups and down, Ashwin wasn't going to let a chit of a girl ruffle feathers unnecessarily.

Giving her a rather reserved smile Ashwin asked "Manoj was asking for the project's time line. Were you not supposed to deliver it to the clients yesterday?"

Sugandha reached over Ashwin's shoulder towards the laptop and began to click on the keys.

Ashwin's senses were swarmed with her spicy perfume which he could name and from the corner of his eye he could see a red bra peeking out of her cleavage. He felt an answering heat in his groin and suddenly felt embarrassed. She was his employee for heaven sake. She could slap him with a sexual harassment case before he could finish saying Jack Robinson.

"Manoj is a dimwit. Here is the e-mail I sent to the clients yesterday with the attachment showing the project's time line and the quoted budget. That fellow really gets on my nerves. I should talk to him about it."

She moved back and leaned against the cubicle. Staring up at her Ashwin wondered how he could keep this spit fire from burning up a minor hole in his team. She was a frilly out of control.

Shrugging his shoulders he replied "Let it be. He has as lot on his plate and it must have slipped his mind."

"Whatever you say, Boss." She smiled and winked at him.

Ashwin was a little taken aback decided not to make too much out of it.

"Anyways, the reason why I hopped over is to invite you over for my housewarming party that I'm having tonight. I know the invitation is a little late but I was a little apprehensive about calling the Boss, you know what I mean. But the guys told me that you were cool even though you are so much older than us."

Her voice faltered and trailed off by the end of the sentence and she bit her lip.

Ashwin felt amused and irritated at the same time. She was a charming little pest but that wasn't reason enough to give her the third degree.

Folding his arms Ashwin leaned against his chair and asked "I heard you moved opposite Vinod's apartment? Hope he is being a good neighbor?"

She laughed and said "He has a good heart to go with those hot looks. He has been very helpful. He took me to all the right stores to buy my furniture, kitchen stuff etc. And even for the party he helped me clean up the mess I was living in to make it presentable. I can't believe I have been in America for a month now and already I feel so much at home. People here have been very nice to me."

Ashwin smiled and felt a little guilty. The babe was oblivious to the undercurrents that his team wasn't that pally with her but then again it wasn't his job to look out for her.

"So, what time do you want me to be there?" he asked.

"Oh, please bring your wife along. It would be nice to enjoy some female company for a change. I've had it with all these techie- nerds. They are nice but a woman needs some female companionship. You know what I mean?"

Nodding his head Ashwin reached over for the phone and called his wife and said "I will ask her now if she is free for the evening."

He wanted to get rid of Sugandha. He liked her but she was too much of a chatterbox.

"Hello?" Ayesha's soft voice answered the phone after two rings. She was home and he was relieved.

He smiled at Sugandha who hadn't left and said "Hi, honey. Are we free this evening? I just got an invitation for a housewarming party."

"Sure, my book club meeting got cancelled so I can accompany you. Who is having the party?" she asked lightly.

"Remember Sugandha? She joined our team sometime ago. She wanted you to come; in fact she is insisting."

On hearing that Sugandha nodded and Ashwin smiled back in a dismissive manner.

Getting the message she finally left the cubicle but before leaving she said "Eight sharp."

Ashwin nodded in agreement and returned to the call.

"We have to be there by eight. Could you pick some gift up? I will be a bit late so we will go straight there after I have picked you up. Is that okay?"

"Won't you need to change before you go? I mean, it would be nice if you freshened up a bit."

Ah, the ever concerned wife. If only this lovely domestic conversation was for real.

Sighing, a tired breath into the receiver he replied "I'll try to be a bit early but you be ready."

She answered in a quiet voice "Okay, see you then."

And he put the phone down and returned to the work at hand.

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Driving his Jaguar towards Richardson, a suburb of Dallas, he negotiated the curves and lanes with the expertise of an experienced driver. The car purred smoothly under his control and his wife looked breath taking in a red chiffon saree with a backless choli. One would think he had it all but only he knew the truth.

The silence that blanketed the car was ominous in its nature. They hadn't spoken a word to each other and there wasn't much to converse. Each sat separated by thoughts that were dark and dismal.

Reaching the apartment complex, they were surprised by loud music that seemed to come at least ten apartments away.

Ashwin shook his head and muttered "Bloody Indians." And Ayesha laughed. Sometimes they could read each others mind but the operative word was some times.

Knocking on the door, Ashwin shifted the gift from one hand to another and asked "What did you get her?"

"A vase from Pottery barn" she answered.

His eyebrows went up and he asked "Isn't that an expensive gift to give one of the employees and that too for someone we barely know?"

Ayesha shrugged her shoulders and replied "Gaurav and you are the bosses of the company. And someone at your position can't get away giving some cheap Yankee Candles."

Ashwin smiled at his wife's insight. He should have employed her as his PR.

The door opened and Vinod greeted them with a happy smile. Vinod Mehra had typical Punjabi looks. Sharp features with a creamy skin and a mop of unmanageable mane that fell over his broad forehead, giving him naughty school boy looks.

He was one of Ashwin's best marketing guys and even Gaurav though the guy could walk on water. He was six feet tall and rather muscular. Being about four inches taller than Ashwin he towered over him and treated him more like a buddy than the boss which Ashwin enjoyed and wished rest of his employees realized.

"Hi, guys. You're right on time. Come on in. The party is jamming."

Walking in Ashwin realized that the party wasn't even an inch close to jamming. Inwards he groaned. It was going to be one boring affair. Hopefully they would be able to escape soon and go for a late night movie or something. The faces he saw were all familiar ones that he saw at work every day.

And they would be relieved to see him leave as he would be to escape. His eyes searched for Gaurav who was standing at a corner, nursing his drink in one hand and holding his wife's waist with the other hand.

He never could keep his hands off his wife, despite the fact that they had been married for over five years and were way past the honeymoon period. But then again Meenakshi was a charming mix of looks and wit. She was like the sun that warmed any one who orbited around her even if only for a while.

They were a happy couple and there had been times when Ashwin wished he could have shared the same kind of life that they had.

Walking over to them with his wife by his side, he snaked his arm around Meenakshi's waist and pulled her away from her husband.

"Haven't you had enough of that jerk? You let him paw you even in public?"

Meenakshi started to laugh and hugged Ashwin back and replied "Oh, I'm used to being mauled by that cave man. He pays me you know." She wriggled her eyebrows and everyone started to laugh.

She then hugged Ayesha and soon the two women moved away from the men and started their own conversation.

Vinod came up with beers and as they talked shop, people came over and greeted Ashwin who tried to put them at ease. At work he always acted a little reserved but here he could let his guard down a bit and act human.

After a while he realized that Sugandha was missing.

He went into the kitchen and said "So where is the hostess?"

Vinod closed the refrigerator where he was putting the beers to chill and answered "We are running out of beer so she had gone to get more."

Grabbing some chips from the nearby table he walked back into the living room and let his eyes run over the crowd. Some of the techies had come with their wives and many of them were typical wives that blended into the background.

He didn't have to interact with them to know that most of them were wall flowers, taught to be good cooks and docile wives. They lacked the spark that other Indian women who came from more urbanized cities had. And they couldn't be blamed for the small town upbringing.

But the sad part was that even when exposed to the western culture these women continued to live in their little wells.

Shrugging his shoulders at his uncharitable thoughts he watched his wife talking and laughing freely with Meenakshi. Why couldn't she be like that with him? Why did that light deaden when they were alone together?

There was a loud bang on the door and Ashwin being the closest to the door opened it and saw two crates of beer cans stacked one on top of each other with bags of chips completely blocking the holder's view whose small arms seemed to be straining under the weight.

"Don't be a twerp and gawk at me. Take the cans will you?" said the irate female voice.

Ashwin chuckled and grabbed the cans and all. He couldn't stop laughing at the awkward look that Sugandha gave him. She had called her boss a twerp and obviously that wasn't a done thing.

"Sorry about that Boss, I wasn't expecting you to open the door much less...." She didn't finish the sentence and Ashwin's smile expanded to show a set of perfect teeth. His face transformed by his uninhibited smile, taking the years off his face and made him look like a cub ready to play.

Sugandha blinked at the transformation and was surprised that she liked seeing this human side of her boss.

Ashwin moved back with the cans and Sugandha stepped in.

"Where do you want to put the stuff?" Ashwin asked

Straightening her shoulders she answered "In the kitchen and some cans in the refrigerator if you can fit them in."

Then she started to walk away from him, stopped as if having an after thought and turned back to him "On second thoughts why don't I take it all from you. I can manage, why don't you go and enjoy yourself?"

Ashwin let out a belly full of laugh. The woman was refreshing; she realized she couldn't order the boss around.

Shaking his head he replied "No formality Sugandha. I'm used to house work."

She took the bags of chips from him and muttered "Well at least I can help you put the stuff in."

He shrugged his shoulders and followed her in.

As they worked in the kitchen a comfortable silence fell between them and Ashwin realized that despite her motor mouth she wasn't that bad after all. She was just trying to make her mark in a company that was pre-dominantly male.

Once they finished, they stepped out and began to circulate. Sugandha did not leave his side. She was after all trying to keep the boss entertained but then there was Gaurav also and Ashwin felt a little flattered that she was spending more time with him rather than with his partner.

Despite himself, Ashwin began to enjoy himself and nearly forgot about his wife. When suddenly he wondered where she was? His eyes searched for her but he couldn't find her. He located Meenakshi who was chatting with a group of women but Ayesha wasn't with them.

Excusing himself, he moved through the crowd and felt a little apprehensive. She couldn't have disappeared. He opened the sliding door and stepped out to feel the hot , dry ,Dallas wind caress his cheek.

Low voices reached his ears and he looked down. Next to the pool he say his wife and Vinod talking. They seemed to be having an intense conversation but Ashwin couldn't make out what they were talking. He leaned forward and watched as Ayesha stepped away from Vinod as if to walk away from him but he caught her wrist and pulled her back.

Ashwin felt the air being sucked out of him as if someone had punched him in the stomach. His world came crashing down. She was having an affair and that too with his Marketing guy.Vinod the bastard was fucking his wife.

He felt sick and couldn't believe his eyes. They were looking into each others eyes and then Vinod embraced her.

Unable to watch it anymore he closed his eyes and heard the sliding door open. He turned around abruptly to see who it was. Sugandha looked at his pale face with concerned eyes and asked "Is everything okay? Do you need anything?"

Not wanting her to see the errant couple below them, Ashwin put his hand on Sugandha's back and herded her back in.

"No, I just needed to step out to get some air."

Walking back in to be engulfed by his employees and their wives or dates, Ashwin felt anger seep through him and had a tough time maintaining a cool exterior. He would make them pay. He would have them asking for mercy on bended knees.

He would ruin Vinod's career; no company will touch that man with a barge pole and her? He would ensure the world knew what she was all about. In the Indian society her adulterous behavior would make her a social outcast. He would show her for what she was.

Plans began to formulate in his mind as he talked pleasantries. Now that he finally knew who was fucking his wife, he could move forward and no longer feel like the victim.

He bunched his clenched fingers in his pants and promised himself sweet revenge. No one cuckolded him. He would destroy them plain and simple.