Secret Desires

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She longs for the excitement of being taken by a stranger.
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The woman longed for discretion. The black trench coat that was snugly belted about her tiny waist, the severe bun in which her hair was scraped back, the almost none existent make up. All spoke of her desire to remain unnoticed. On the busy Seattle street, it wasn't hard to obtain. A naval ship had docked not to far from her destination, drawing most everyone's attention to the couples being reunited. A lone woman in black, her head down, was of not interest.

She paused outside an older hotel. It had the appeal of old Hollywood glamour. A quick glance at the address told her she was at the right place. The gilded door handle was cold in her hot palm as she tugged the beveled glass door open. The sound of her heels clicking across the pale yellow marble floor drew the attention of the woman working behind the front desk. Without saying a word, she slid a small card across the mahogany counter. The woman looked at, then at the woman in front of her. Pressing her lips together, she drops an old fashioned key into the open and waiting palm.

Not bothering with the elevator, she slowly glided up the stairs, careful to not make eye contact with the few people who passed her by. It wouldn't do for her to be recognized, her reasons for being her questioned. The hospital didn't own her personal life. She was free to do as she pleased. And this is what she pleased.

The room was the last on right. The key turned easy enough. Not that she had doubted its ability to do so. There was no light as she stepped inside. Just a faint glow from the street lights outside. It made little difference, for the moment she closed the door behind her a silken blindfold covered her eyes. Her lush red lips curve into a smile as a fire starts to build low in her belly, an ache already starting between her thighs.

Let the game begin, she thought as strong masculine hands settled on her shoulders. She shivered as they slid down her arms, across her stomach. The knot in her belt came undone, gapping the long coat open. In the flickering of light her body glowed. With the exception of thigh high fish nets she wore nothing underneath. The man slid the coat from her body. Her lower lip catches between her teeth as his hands memorize her body. Fingertips softly traced every curve of her face, trailed down her throat.

Her head fell back against his chest as he cupped her breast. The ache grew stronger, more intense. She could feel the evidence of her desire pooling in the apex of her thighs. He pinched a nipple between his forefinger and thumb, rolling it into a hard pebble. A soft moan escapes from her parted lips as his fingers find her clit. Using much the same method as he had with her nipple, he toys with the small nub of desire before sliding a finger between her wet folds. She longed to beg him for release, for him to slide one, two, fingers into her aching flesh.

She gasps as his hands leave her body altogether. Before she can protest his hands slide along her arms once more, grasping her wrists. There is a snap and the feel of cold metal around her wrists. The handcuffs should have inspired fear. All they did was make the wetness between her legs grow.

His strong hands gave her a gentle shove, guiding her across the nearly empty room. Cool wood bumped against her bare legs. She stumbles forward, her hands bracing themselves as best as possible on the tables surface.

She could feel him behind her, as naked as she was. Her body quivered, tense with the need to feel his thick cock shoved inside her. The tip of it rubbed against her slick entrance, dipping inside only to pull back out just as quickly. He was slowly torturing her. It would do no good to beg. He would only tease her more.

When his hands settle on her hips, she sucked in her breath. His cock entered her one smooth thrust. He continued thrusting until he was buried in her up to the hilt. He slowly withdrawals only to shove into her again, harder this time. She cries out, a mixture of pleasure and pain. His fingers dig into her flesh as he continues to penetrate her over and over again, a faceless man in the dark.

She was flat against the table now, the fire blazing hotter and hotter. Her cries of ecstasy echo in the room. Sensing her need for more, he rams into her harder still. Her breathing comes in labored pants as her body explodes. The groan from the man behind her confirms that he had peaked as well.

She lay there for a moment, growing chilly as he moves away from her. He doesn't stay away long. She smiles contently as he eases her body away from the table. A moment later her hands are free. She reaches up, tugging the blindfold free. It slid to the floor as she turned, facing her husband

"That was..." The woman laughed, not sure how to describe the experience. It went beyond the fantasy she had imagined. Her body still hummed, prime for more.

"Yeah, it was..." The man grinned. "So, next time my fantasy?"

"Yeah," She pressed a kiss against his mouth, "next time you get to pick the fantasy."

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  • COMMENTS
7 Comments
AGreatAndTerribleBeautyAGreatAndTerribleBeautyover 16 years agoAuthor
Critique, Don't Belittle

Would you like to see the author's bachelor degree in public relations from the University of Texas?

The only thing that is elementry is the lack of imagination some reviewers have.

Here is a small lesson in reviewing: Point on the flaws in the story, as well as what works. An author cannot grow or change something if they don't know those two things. Keep all personal jabs out of the review. I.E. Assuming the writer is a spinster or hasn't completed elementry school. Personal jabs like that show a lack of class.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Great Read!

Excellent First Story!

Alvaron53Alvaron53over 16 years ago
Enjoyed the story

Pretty good for a first submission. Some criticisms follow. When you're constructing a scene, there has to be a reason why you're writing about a visual image. For example, in this story, you made a point to describe the "pale yellow marble" floor of the hotel's lobby. Why? Was it because she was afraid of being caught cheating? Had you focused the description of the hotel lobby on her fear of being caught, the scene would've had much more impact.

<P>

"She glided up the stairs...." instead of taking the elevator. Why was this important to the storytelling? Was she afraid of being caught in the elevator with someone she knew? Is she claustrophobic? Afraid of elevators? What? Use these little moments in the story to tell us who she is, what she feels, and what she thinks. When it's done well, the reader will absorb details about the character without even realizing what you've done.

<P>

Second, "<B>Show us, don't tell us</B>." is a powerful dictum that separates good writing from average writing. The story's opening line:

<P><I>

The woman longed for discretion.

</I><P>

tells us that she's doing something naughty, something she doesn't want others to discover. But you're telling us, not showing us. Had you written something like:

<P><I>

She walked hastily along the sidewalk, hurrying her steps but trying not to be seen hurrying. Her eyes flicked from one passing face to the next, as if the briefest of anxious glances would preserve her anonymity.

</I><P>

we would see her on her way to the rendevous and know that she's up to no good. It lays the foundation for the scene, and gives the reader the first inkling as to the 'why' of the story. Paint the visual and let the reader glean the reason why the character does what she does.

<P>

Third, it's bad authorship to switch tenses in the prose. Stories are generally told in past tense for good reason: the events happened in the past. To jump between current tense and past tense disrupts the storytelling. My editor, Father Ignatius, has swatted my proverbial fingers more than once for such mistakes.

<P>

Thank you for your effort, and I hope you'll continue to write and submit... stories, I mean. :)

<P>

Cheers.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Old Story Line, But Not Done Well

She "longed for descretion," (the first line in the story) and (according to the story description) she "She longs for the excitement..." What this placid, uninteresting story actually longs for is some imagination on the part of the writer, and perhaps a writer who has completed elementary school.

AGreatAndTerribleBeautyAGreatAndTerribleBeautyover 16 years agoAuthor
Humor In Honesty

I find it quite humerous that someone would say something so trivial as spinster squeakings. How quaint. How unoriginal. Just like the comment.

Yes, I am gramatically correct. Yes, I like to use words that flow in a lovely manner. Yes, I am quite new to this erotic writing business, but everyone must start someplace.

If you do not like the story, I am fine with that. Please at least explain why you don't like it.

The story clearly made sense, as others got it. I guess it must be the one person's inability to understand soemthing beyond "fuck me harder, make me cum"

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