I guess we all have them, I certainly did, but you don't realize that others do too until something happens, that many times brings them out into the open.
My mother had been sick for quite some time, dad having passed away a few years before so she had pretty much lived alone, though she had many friends that she spent a considerable amount of time with, which I was very grateful for as at the time, I lived a considerable distance away out of state.
So I guess depending on how you look at it, I was fortunate enough, or unfortunate to have been going through a divorce, and because of it, had moved back closer to home, and thus got to spend the last couple of months spending more time and visiting with my mother before she died.
But like I said, I was grateful that mom had so many friends and neighbors that spent time with her during the time I wasn't, and who were still there for her, as well as for me, afterwards.
After dad's death, mom had moved into a much smaller place a duplex that she shared with a woman who soon became her dearest of friends and neighbors. "Mabel" though everyone called her "May" had come over to help me sort through some of her things a few days after the funeral. Having already done this before when my father had died, I wasn't looking forward to doing it again, especially alone and with no real idea what to do with much of her stuff. The only direction I'd been given shortly before her death, was her desire and request that May be given first choice to take or have anything of hers that she wanted, that I didn't want or couldn't use. Needless to say, I was extremely grateful when she came over to help me sort through all of mom's things.
But it was while doing that, that I learned that my own mother had a few secrets too. Things I would never have suspected, guessed at, or certainly ever imagined. The one thing it did do besides surprise me, was teach me that my own mother was a normal human being, just like everyone else, still sometimes hard when you think in those terms regarding your own parents.
It was weird enough going through my mother's "unmentionables" as she called them as I had begun packing up several boxes of her clothing, things that would either be donated or thrown away, which is when I came across a vibrator, something I initially just stared at, trying to justify, somehow accept that she actually owned one, let alone used one. For some oddball reason, not quite able to wrap my head around the fact she'd even know what they were used for, though obviously she did...and had.
But as awkward as that was, it was made even more so as May was sitting next to me packing a few other boxes at the same time that I was, and saw the shocked look on my face when I pulled out not only that particular item, but several others as well, including what turned out to be a double-dildo, which for the life of me, stunned me even more than the somewhat normal looking vibrator. I know I was blushing furiously as I looked up and saw May looking at me with a smile on her face.
"Let's go have a cup of coffee," she told me standing up. "I think maybe now's the time you and I had a little chat."
May was in her sixties, though I never learned her exact age, nor was it important that I ever did. But she also didn't look like she was either, even though she'd allowed her hair to turn naturally gray, almost white in fact somewhat prematurely, though it looked really good on her. She kept it cut really short, "easier to maintain," she had once told me, which I'm sure it was, but it also somehow made her blue eyes even bluer, which in turn made her face a bit younger looking giving lie to her true age.
May also had a reasonably nice shape, and like everyone in the middle years, an extra little padding here and there, but nothing that I felt detracted at all from her natural attractiveness, as May truly was a good-looking woman, which was another reason why I didn't fully understand her reason for never remarrying after her husband had died many, many years ago.
I had followed May next door to her place where we sat down at her kitchen table after pouring us both a cup of coffee. She sat looking at me over the rim of her cup as she sipped it, and then sitting it down in front of herself, reached her hand over placing it over mine as she spoke.
"Brad? You need to know...your mother and I were more than just friends or neighbors, for the last year...we were also lovers."
You could have knocked me over with a feather. At first, I didn't know what to say or how to respond to what May had just told me, it was too hard to believe for one thing. I was still struggling with the fact that mom 'masturbated' and actually used toys to do that with, and now this, which was even more shocking to me under the circumstances.
"Mom was a lesbian?" I blurted out in disbelief.
"Lesbian? No, I don't think so," May told me. "She was just a woman with normal every day needs, no different than you or I is all. And that I happened to be a woman, and the one person she could feel comfortable with, and confide in without fear, is what brought us together as lovers. So lesbian? No...she wasn't. Did we do things that lesbians do together? Yes, of course we did. But I've never considered myself a lesbian either, and your mother was in fact the first and only woman I've ever been with. So...just so you understand, neither one of us ever looked at it that way. We just saw it as two women who had grown close to one another, who felt comfortable enough with one another, to share a little needed pleasure from time to time."
I was still struggling with the image that had suddenly popped inside my head however, sitting there looking at May, having already mentally undressed her, seeing her with "mom" all tangled together on the bed, and then adding in my mind the scenario of the two of them hooked up together with the double-dildo I had found. I actually shook my head trying to dislodge the image. May laughed.
"Having a hard time with it I see," she said simply. "Cookie?"
May pushed a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies my way. They were my favorite, though I seriously doubt she knew that.
"Have a cookie, you'll feel better."
At the moment I wasn't sure I could, the only thing I felt was a little numb.
"How what?" May answered back as I took a bite of my cookie. "How did the two of us become lovers?" she asked me back already surmising I was curious as I merely nodded my head. "Do you want the simple short version, or the long one with all the nitty-gritty details?"
To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to hear all the intimate little details, but then as I sat there looking at her, I decided that I did.
"Tell me everything," I responded. "I really am curious to know how mom could end up..."
"Being with, making love to...having sex with another woman?" May finished for me.
I took another bite of my cookie without answering, just waiting for her response, though she smiled at me as I did understanding my feint.
"Well, ok Brad I will. But only as long as you understand a few things first, number one, your mother was a very sensual, and very open-minded woman, probably more than you know or would ever give her credit for being. So you need to understand and accept that first, or you'll never be able to understand or accept anything I tell you. And just because she was your mother, didn't mean she didn't have desires and needs and wants...just like everyone else does, including yourself!"
"Ok," I responded trying to assure her I could do that, though she shook her own head negatively, still smiling however.
"Ok, secondly, you also need to know that your mother loved your father. So much so, that she had made a vow to herself, right or wrong, that she would never remarry. Oh Brad, you have no idea the number of evenings we spent discussing that one. Not that I was trying to change her mind about doing that, I mean after all, look at me. I never remarried either, but I also didn't live a life of celibacy. I had often discussed the point of her going out and at least dating, not with the intention of ever getting married or serious again with someone, but just for a little fun, and some sexual relief."
I was still having a hard time getting my head around the fact that mom needed sexual relief, though I was slowly warming to the fact she obviously masturbated, and how could I look down on her for that when it was something I did nearly every day myself?
May continued as she stood pouring us both another cup of coffee, taking the pot back to the kitchen counter giving me a chance to look at her with an observant eye, she really wasn't a bad looking woman for her age, and I again briefly saw mom and May together in my mind's eye as she turned and came back to the kitchen table sitting down.
"Your mother refused to get involved with anyone else however, stating that it would simply complicate things, inevitably, she felt like there would either be pressure on her to remarry again, or she would find herself falling in love with someone else, and then wanting to."
"And what's wrong with that?" I asked knowing that I would never be given an answer to that, not really anyway.
"Nothing," May agreed. "And even though I never remarried myself, it wasn't because I was afraid to do so, or had any misgivings about doing it, it's just that I liked living alone and not having to be accountable to anyone other than myself. Your mother however didn't look at it that way, she enjoyed the companionship, missed it. But she had also made that vow to herself that she just couldn't accept going against."
"So how...why?" I asked once again, alluding to their relationship.
"Oh yeah, the nitty-gritty part," May said smiling at me though I saw an unexpected warmth in her eyes as she obviously recalled that period of time when things obviously happened between them. "Very well...but don't say I didn't warn you," May said pushing the plate of cookies towards me once again. Automatically I took one, it seemed easier to hear what she was saying while munching on a cookie for some reason.
"It didn't happen overnight either," she began. "We'd been speaking rather personally, and eventually quite intimately over a very long period of time. Eventually your mother felt comfortable telling me her deepest darkest secrets and fears, and I did the same with her, sharing confidences, making her more comfortable as we both did, so that soon there wasn't any subject, any topic, or even any fantasy we'd ever had not being able to be shared or openly discussed with one another, which is when she asked me if I still masturbated, which I told her of course that I did, all the time in fact."
Just hearing May admit to that caused my cock to twitch, though I mentally chastised myself about it, reminding me as I sat there looking at her, that this wasn't some tawdry dirty story I was supposed to be getting off at in hearing, though for that brief second, knowing that she did, still did as she'd just admitted to, had pushed one of my arousal buttons, though I'd immediately shut it off again.
"Your mother was struggling with the most natural normal personal activity in the whole world, and she was feeling guilty because of it. You see Brad, your mother and I grew up during a time when that wasn't discussed, certainly wasn't taught. And though everyone knew...even expected that boys did it, girls weren't supposed to, and even if we did do it, we certainly never admitted to it, or ever talked about it, not even amongst one another. So you see, your mom was still dealing with a holdover to those times, and was feeling horribly guilty because of it. So we talked about it, several times, and I assured her it was a perfectly normal thing to do, and then even told her that I had gone out and purchased a vibrator to use whenever I did, and that she should probably think about getting one for herself. Well quite naturally, she was at first genuinely appalled at the notion, so I dropped it. But then after about a week, she brought the subject up again, and asked me if I would show it to her, which I did."
"Wow," I breathed trying to let all this sink in. "So you taught her how to use one?"
"That first one? No, not really. I know what you must be thinking and what's probably bouncing around inside your head. But that's not how it happened. I showed her the one I had, but even that one she was way too squeamish about even holding, let alone trying. Eventually I brought over a magazine I had ordered for her, which had several different kinds and types to chose from of course, so I merely gave her that to look at in privacy, and told her that if indeed she wanted to pick, or order something, that she could do so, and that we'd have it delivered to my address even, in the event she was too worried or nervous about it arriving at her place, which is...what we actually did. We sort of made a game of it then, pouring through the magazine together right here at this very same table, over coffee while eating cookies."
I had just taken another bite, and now sat with the image of the two of them looking at adult toys together over coffee and cookies almost funny.
"I'm glad to see you smiling," May told me. "I can still see that clear as day myself," she said knowingly as for a moment I had kept a faraway look on my face. "Your mother still ordered a very simple, very basic vibrator, which didn't surprise me of course, as even mentally in the beginning, I think she wanted to fool herself into thinking it wasn't meant to be used for the very purpose we were ordering it for."
"Now that sounds like mom," I said affectionately, still trying to imagine it, which was slowly becoming easier and easier for me to do now.
May once again nodded in agreement. "About a week later, our package arrived, so I invited her over...for coffee," she grinned, "and so we could open the box together, since I knew she was already having misgivings about having ordered one already." May paused briefly. "You sure you really want to hear the rest of it?" she asked "It gets pretty explicit after this," she warned me.
Even if I didn't, my cock did, as it had hardened, though I'd been sitting there trying to consciously will it not to, without success.
"In for a penny..." I answered back using one of mom's favorite sayings, obviously one which May had heard her use quite often, as she burst out laughing when I said it.
"That's pretty much what she said one evening when we actually were in bed together, but that's well ahead of my story," May said fondly. "Anyway..." May began again, picking up her thoughts. "Like I said, I knew she was having second thoughts, even as we opened the box and took our purchases out. Mine was considerably more decadent looking that hers, more life-like if you know what I mean, and I saw your mom's face flush as she saw it, even though she was already blushing as she sat there holding the one she'd purchased. I quickly inserted the batteries that each one needed, under the pretense of making sure they even switched on of course, but wanting her to get comfortable with just holding it, looking at it, before she lost her nerve and stuck it away in a box or a drawer somewhere without ever actually using it."
"Yeah, I can see her doing that," I admitted.
"So then I told her how I was looking forward to trying mine out, and as a tease, which was one of the few ways I knew of breaking down your mom's barriers, by joking about something as it turned out, I then slid it down between my legs while sitting here at the table, and though I really wasn't doing anything, I held it there as though I could actually feel it, and told her that it felt really good, and no doubt would feel even better when I'd actually put it inside myself."
"Damn," I actually sighed seeing that inside my head once again as May continued.
"What I didn't expect, is what your mother did then, which even surprised me, she put the one she had purchased down between her legs, turned it on, and held hers there too!"
"Holy fuck! Oh God...sorry May, I didn't..."
Once again, May burst out laughing. "That's what I said when I saw her, and not because she'd done that, but because of the look on her face while she did. She really was enjoying it, obviously she was feeling something she hadn't felt in a very...very long time!"
"So then what?" I asked still trying to collect myself, feeling my own face flushed at the inadvertent slip for one thing, and sitting there trying to imagine the two of them sitting at this very table with humming vibrators positioned between their respective legs.
I still knew she was struggling with it however, you could always tell by her sudden change of expression whenever she was, or whenever she was about to retreat back into her past, back into her upbringing, which I hated to see as she always struggled with her guilt for several days after that, no matter what I said or did. Seeing that, I decided to do something bold, risky perhaps, but I saw no other way around it.
"That's when I asked if she'd like me to show her how to use it, and took it even further, telling her I'd even show her how I did it on myself using mine. Which is when I stood, actually pulling down the pair of shorts I was wearing at the time, before she could even comment. Oh Brad, you should have seen her face when I did that, she was shocked as well as surprised that I had of course, but she soon after smiled too, seeing me as I actually revealed myself to her."
"Fuck!" I said once again, not even realizing that I had, this new image too ingrained, too crystal clear for me to even know that I had as I reached for, grabbing another cookie from the plate.
"You shave your pussy?" she asked.
"What?" I said not sure I had just heard her right, it was a weird thing for me to have heard her just say.
"That's what she asked me when I slipped off my shorts and my panties. You shave your pussy? Which I did, and which was. That surprised her obviously, again, another hold over from another time, though she had no reason to want to do so anyway, but she was rather curious as to why I had, so then we got into a why I shave mine sort of discussion, which I then re-sat back down in my chair, though not before pulling it over to sit down in front of her, spreading my legs, showing her my quim as I did, and still holding my new toy in hand, began teasing myself with it, showing her how I did, and how I enjoyed pleasuring myself, trying to give her some idea of what to expect, and what sort of things she might want to go and try on herself later. But...once again, your mother surprised me. That's when she stood up, and took off the simple dress she'd been wearing, rather than just hunch it all up, she slipped out of it instead, along with her own panties of course, so that now she sat with nothing more than her bra on as she sat there watching me, and soon began emulating some of the things I was doing to myself. Before long, we were both sitting there watching one another while we masturbated."
"Holy shit!" I said amending my language some, though I was again reminded by the hardness pressing against my own pants of the erotic images that had formed there, whether I wanted them to or not. Just seeing May and my mother sitting across from one another while they began to explore and experiment with their vibrators was still erotic, even though I kept trying to remind myself, it was my own mother I was visualizing here.
"Anyway, that's basically how things began. One thing led to another, but like I said, it didn't happen overnight either, it was very gradual, and over a long period of time. But your mother really began to lighten up, and we began to joke more and more, discuss sex, actually laugh about it and reminisce, not that she still didn't miss your father, the touch of his hands on her, she did, and I think because of that, because of our sitting there sharing all this one evening, both of us crying our eyes out, that we sort of started touching one another, and the next thing we both knew, we ended up in bed together. Obviously Brad, I could go on and on about it, but I'm not sure that's what you really want to know about now is it? You just wanted to know how it happened, and why. So that's how it did. So now you know."