Secrets and Lies Ch. 02

"He has to be more careful now Harry, you both have" she sobbed.

"We can't wrap him in cotton wool I told her. He is a teenage boy and we have to let him behave like one" I took her back to the car and sat with her till she got over her fear.

We all had a good time and we drove home with three tired children. Susan made us a warm chicken salad for supper and Jacob and Maddy were both in bed just after eight. When Alex went up to his room at about ten thirty I made ready to leave. Susan threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"Please Harry can't you stay with me tonight? I really need to hold you."

My head started to spin; I could justify the previous night to myself because I was drunk. If I stayed tonight it would be because I had consciously made the decision to stay.

"Susan" I said, "If I stay tonight it will not make any difference to us. I will still go home in the morning. I will still be with Sarah on Monday. There is more wrong with our relationship than can be cure by a night in the same bed."

"I know all that Harry," she said. "I am not trying to use sex to tempt you back, though if I thought it would work I would. Today I realised how vulnerable you are now, both you and Alex. I may not have time to play a long game and hope you come back to me. I just want one more night Harry because I don't know if it may be the last one."

I put my arm around her shoulders and as we walked towards the stairs an then the bedroom I reminded her of all the things that the doctors had told us about being able to live a full active life assured her that I intended to get the most from the pension plan I had been paying into.

Once in the bedroom she was a changed person from the Susan I was used to. In seconds she had my trousers round my ankles and was on her knees holding my dick with one hand while she licked and kissed the head. I looked down at her and put two fingers under her chin and turned her face up to look at me.

"You really don't have to do that." I said, knowing how reluctant she had always been to give me a blowjob.

"I thought that you liked it," she said with a disappointed look.

"I do," I said "very much but I always thought that you didn't like doing it"

"If you like it then I really want to do it for you. I've been a selfish bitch Harry. I've always taken what I wanted from our lovemaking and you've always given it to me. Tonight it's payback time."

She went to work with a will and before long I could feel the clenching in my scrotum I started to tell her.

"Susan, I'm cumming," I cried out but she didn't stop.

When the first stream shot into her mouth she stopped moving but continued to suck until it was all over. She swallowed the lot then looked up at me.

"That's really not too bad" she said as she got back on her feet then kissed me with a passion I had long forgotten.

She undressed me and pushed me back on to the bed. She then proceeded to strip off herself as I watched her every move. We got into bed kissed and hugged some more. As I ran my fingers down over her back and bum her hips thrust forward into me. As I moved to her breasts, suckling and nibbling on her nipples she was gasping for breath and as soon as my fingers reached her clitoris she was cumming heavily. The cannon as Sarah liked to call it was now ready for firing again. Susan pushed me over onto my back and started to ride me cowgirl style. She was cumming for a second time by the time the canon fired again. I pulled her down onto my chest and let the canon soften and shrink inside her. We kissed and hugged and I ran my hands all over her back and bum. We made love several times that night. We tried doggy, reverse cowgirl and she even offered me her arse. I explained that she would need some preparation for that so it was left out. In the morning I woke to find her sucking the canon back into life.

"Thanks for staying Harry" she said. "It was lovely wasn't it"?

"Yes Susan it was really lovely, though I don't know what I am going to tell Sarah"

"We are still man and wife Harry, what goes on between us is nobody's business but ours"

I was suddenly very annoyed. "There you go again Susan," I said, "trying to keep secrets. Have you learned nothing over the last six months? I have a relationship with Sarah I am not going to deceive her. She may want nothing more to do with me but that is a risk I am prepared to take."

She shed a few tears "Sorry Harry, I didn't think"

I drove back to the house I had started to think of as home and was cursing myself for what I had done. I should have walked away last night. We had a wonderful night and it awakened all the old

desires for Susan. I had always really enjoyed making love with her but the less inhibited Susan of last night had been even better. However, lovemaking is not everything.

I spent Sunday working and trying to figure out what I was going to say to Sarah. To a degree Susan was right there was no reason why I shouldn't make love to my wife but I had told Sarah that I loved her and I now felt like I had cheated on her. The only thing to do was to tell her on Monday morning and accept anything she chose to throw at me.

That Monday she arrived at my house about nine thirty. I told her that I needed to talk to her. We sat at the dining room table and Sarah looked apprehensive.

"I have to tell you," I said "on Friday and Saturday I slept with Susan. Friday night I was drunk but for Saturday I have no excuse."

She sat there looking at me for several minutes then she said, "Is that it? You slept with your wife, so what?"

"You mean you are not angry"

"Harry, I have already told you that I accept the fact that you will probably always love Susan. That surely means that from time to time you will want to make love to her. I can live with that Harry. If it is a choice between sharing you and not having you at all, I already know what my choice will be. Now tell me about the rest of your weekend."

I told her about the party and the conversations with my mother and brother. I told her about Susan's mother and the conversation with John, Susan's stepfather.

"And that is why you got drunk?" she asked.

I nodded

"Well I am Not surprised Harry. What I am surprised about is that she still hasn't even told her parents what she did. I know you will defend her but it really isn't on that she lets you take the blame still."

I took both her hands and pulled her up into an embrace. "I need some shopping," I said "let's go and do that and we can get some lunch while we are out."

We went out, did the shopping, had lunch out and generally enjoyed being together. When we returned and just cuddled up on the Sofa. Before she left for the school run I told her that I had an appointment the following day and would not be back till the afternoon.

"That's OK Harry, as a matter of fact I also have something to do tomorrow," she said.

Susan was not expecting visitors that morning so when the doorbell rang she was somewhat surprised. Her first thought was that perhaps it was me but her surprise was complete when she opened the door to find Sarah standing there. Sarah, on the other hand, knew exactly why she was there. She didn't wait for an invitation she just pushed past Susan into the house.

"Good Morning Susan, we need to talk" was all she said.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Susan asked. "You can't barge into my house making demands"

"Well I think I can and what's more I just have. Now, are you going to call the police and have me thrown out or are you going to talk to me?" Sarah asked.

Susan showed her to the lounge. "Would you like coffee?" she asked

"No thanks" Sarah said "I have come here to talk not to socialize"

"And what do you want to talk about?" Susan asked.

"I would have thought that was obvious, I've come to ask you when you are going to take responsibility for what you have done to Harry?" The anger was obvious in Sarah's voice.

"I have" said Susan. "I've told everyone that it is all my fault."

"Not good enough." Sarah replied "you haven't told anyone what you did, not even your own parents. No one believes that saint Susan could ever do anything that would warrant Harry's behaviour. How about letting him bring up another man's children believing them to be his own? When are you going to tell them about that."

Susan burst into tears but Sarah would not be deflected.

"Oh turn off the waterworks Susan, it may work on Harry but not on me. Poor Harry has to put up with everyone, even his own mother believing he is the one in the wrong. He won't tell them because of the way it would affect you and the children. He can't stand the thought of people hating you. So what is your excuse? Why can't you even tell Alex, he thinks I am the reason that Harry hasn't come back to you but we both know that it is what you did that keeps him away."

"I can't tell Alex, it would break him," Susan sobbed.

"Come off it Susan. You won't tell him because he might start treating you the way he now treats his father. Yes I still call Harry his father because as far as Harry is concerned that's what he has always been."

"But everyone will hate me" Susan said.

"Isn't that better than having them hate Harry for something that's not his fault?"

"Yes, Yes of course it is" said Susan fighting back the tears "I told him on Sunday that I was a selfish bitch and that is just what I am being now isn't it?"

"You'll get no arguments from me on that score" Sarah said, "The fact of the matter is that you are the only one who can do anything about that."

Susan burst into tears again and Sarah's compassionate side kicked in. She left Susan crying and went to the kitchen to make coffee. She searched the cupboards and found all the necessary items and by the time she came back to the sofa Susan was drying her eyes. Sarah set the coffee down on the table and sat beside Susan.

"Do you remember back in the old days when we used to got to all those grope in the dark parties?" Sarah asked her.

Susan managed a quick smile. "Yes I do. I always hated them. When I eventually told Harry that we stopped going"

"I was so jealous of you in those days" Sarah said. "You were clever and attractive and everybody loved you. To make things worse you had the only decent man in the whole crowd."

"My mother wouldn't agree with you on the last part" Susan said as she sipped her coffee.

"Then your mother is a fool," Sarah said.

"Not just a fool but a terrible snob as well" Susan added. "She has never forgiven Harry for being born on the council estate."

They both laughed at that "or for being an engineer" Susan continued.

They continued to reminisce and the atmosphere improved. By the time Sarah left they were like friends talking. As she walked out Sarah turned back to Susan.

"Susan do you really love Harry?"

"I wouldn't want to live without him" Susan replied

"Then you know what you must do." Sarah told her.

I was sitting in the outer office of Mr Gordon McCurrie, Sarah's father. So far he had kept me waiting for twenty minutes. When his secretary told me that he would see me I have to admit to some nerves. I walked into the office and found slightly overweight man of about five foot six. He had blue eyes and a good head of grey hair. His handshake was like a vice being clamped on my hand.

"Good day to you Mr Anderson" he said looking at my business card on the desk. "Now since I have no interests in telecoms or manufacturing I am presuming this is not about business"

"No sir, it is not about business. It is about your daughter Sarah," I told him.

"My daughter," he said with a broad grin "well if you have come to ask for her hand then you are about sixteen years too late."

"No sir I haven't come to ask for her hand. Do you realise how unhappy her marriage is?" I asked.

"She made her bed Mr Anderson now she must lie in it"

"But she didn't make it did she sir, you did. You insisted that she married that little shit Gary Dawson by telling her you would not support her or have anything to do with her if she had a baby out of wedlock."

"Well judging by your very accurate description of him I guess that you know my son in law Mr Anderson. What you or I think of him matters nought. Having children out of wedlock is a sin in my church"

"And what does your church have to say about keeping a young woman as a prisoner in a loveless marriage for sixteen years?" I asked.

I saw his face flush with anger before he came back at me. "You are sailing very close to the wind Mr Anderson. I could break you any time I want to."

This is not the time to back down I thought. "No you couldn't" I said "You said it yourself you have no interests in the areas I work in. Besides I'm damn good at what I do. My clients would soon get fed up with paying twice as much to get a solution that is half as good."

"O.K. Mr Anderson just what do you want from me?"

"I want you to support Sarah while she divorces Gary Dawson and gets on her feet" I said.

"I will not" he boomed at me. "My grandchildren need a father"

"Why now" I said "they haven't had one for the last sixteen years. Gary isn't a father to them; he is no more than a lodger in that house. Why don't you ask them about him, his likes and dislikes. They don't know because he never talks to them. I agree they should have a father but I am sure she could find a better one than Gary. Look I am offering you the chance to establish a relationship with your daughter because if you don't support her I will. Maybe not to the same standard as you can but I will help her get a divorce and finish her education so she can support herself"

"You are trying my patience now Mr Anderson." he boomed, "I think it is time you left. When I need your advice on family matters I will ask for it." He reached out and pushed a button on his desk.

"Mr Anderson is just leaving Jennifer. Would you please see him out?"

I got up to walk to the door and stopped momentarily.

"Would it make any difference if I told you that by his adulterous activities your son in law has wrecked a perfectly happy marriage of seventeen years?"

"Would this be your marriage Mr Anderson?" he asked.

"Yes sir it would"

" In that case you have my sympathy," he said.

Jennifer came in and I walked out with her. As we reached the door McCurrie called out to me.

"Mr Anderson, Just how is it that you know my son in law?"

"Same school, same council estate" I replied.

"Yet you are a horse of a very different colour," he said.

"Thank you sir, I'll take that as a compliment" I said.

Jennifer did indeed show me out and I made my way back home hoping that I had made some difference. Certainly he had not given me any reason for optimism.

The following day neither Sarah nor I discussed our activities of the previous day. I did ask Sarah what she would do if she got the chance to divorce Gary. When she told me she would jump at it I told her that if her father was not willing to support her then I would. I told her that I couldn't keep her in the manner that her father did.

"Harry" she asked, "this is not a proposal is it?"

"No I'm sorry if it sounded like that" I said "I am saying that no matter what happens to us I will support you through a divorce and your studies."

"And what studies would those be then Harry."

"Well I thought you would want to take up your education where you left off so that you could get a bit of independence."

"Harry that is a great idea do you really think that I could do that."

"I don't just think you could I am sure you could" I said.

"Harry you are so good for Me." she said and kissed me

That weekend was my turn to have the kids so I picked them up as usual and as usual Alex decided not to come. I can't pretend it didn't hurt but it had to be his decision. Perhaps it was John's comments about fathers in the park, I decided that we could just hang out at the house. Sarah came over in the afternoon. Jacob and Maddy liked her so it was no problem. We had a good time at home and they went to bed tired. The rain started to fall and Sarah and I sat with a glass of wine. I would have liked her to stay but around ten she left. She hadn't been gone more than five minutes when the doorbell rang. My heart jumped into my mouth when I saw a drowned Alex standing there. I brought him in and found him some towels to dry himself.

"Does your mother know you are here?" I asked

He shook his head. I saw how cold he was so I made him get out of his clothes and get in the shower. While he was in there I called Susan.

"Hello Susan. I thought I had better call you. Alex has just turned up here. He is soaked to the skin and freezing cold. I've put him in the shower to warm up."

"Oh thank God Harry I have been so worried. Thank you for calling me."

"What has happened Susan?" I asked.

"I told him Harry, I told him everything. That was about midday, he was so angry with me and he stormed out. I didn't think he would come to you. I rang all his friends."

"Don't worry Susan he is here now, I will look after him and bring him back with the others tomorrow. Meanwhile you get some sleep."

"Thank you Harry, thank you Good night."

"Good night Susan"

I took a robe into Alex, asked him to come down when he was dry. Meanwhile I put the kettle on and made him a cup of hot chocolate. Gradually he warmed up. I sat down with him on the sofa.

"O.K. Alex now how about we start at the beginning, what is this all about" I asked

"I'm so sorry dad, really really sorry" he sobbed.

"Sorry for what" I asked.

"For thinking that it couldn't be that serious and that you were just using it as an excuse to be with Sarah."

"You never told me that," I said.

" I know but I thought it all the same. I just couldn't understand why you couldn't just give mum another chance but she destroyed your life dad. I mean you may not even be my dad anybody else would be long gone but you are still here."

"Lets have no more talk about me not being your dad. What other dad have you ever known?" I asked.

"Only you and I've been such a shit to you. And then you go and give me your kidney. I don't deserve it." He was sobbing his heart out. I felt his fingers tracing the scar on my back.

"That was your bad back in the hospital wasn't it? Why did you keep it from me?"

"I did it because I love you. I didn't want you to think that I did it to make you love me so I asked your mum to keep it from you till this was all sorted out." I told him.

"Why did she do it dad. Why would she hurt you like that?" he asked

I thought of John's words at the party. "Susan is not a bad woman Alex she didn't do it to hurt me, she did it to get you. She shouldn't have done it but she is weak and she was desperate. It is very hard for a woman who wants children as much as your mum wanted you. When someone offers you an easy solution it is hard to reject it."

"But she did it again, twice" he said.

"I suppose that when it appeared to work the first time it was even harder for her to ignore the chance for more children."

We talked about the situation and he calmed down. Eventually I put him to bed, put his clothes in the dryer and went to bed myself. Sleep didn't come easy I couldn't understand why Susan had suddenly decided to tell him everything. I was glad that she had told him but was still curious as to why and where we went from there.

We had a good day on Sunday. There was a big motorcycle rally nearby and Sarah brought Luke and Daisy. The older boys really enjoyed seeing all the bikes. Even walking around the car park was exciting for them. The girls and Sarah enjoyed the events as well as admiring some of the riders. I was getting quite lost in the moment when my Mobile rang. It was Susan's phone.