Seduce me, Jack... Ch. 09

"Me either, Jack," she answered softly. "I never expected things to turn out like this... I still can't believe that you... have feelings for me. This just comes as such a... shock to me. You're not supposed to love any woman... I mean... how could you when it's impossible for you to stay faithful to any woman..."

"Fuckin' hell... thanks a lot for that vote of confidence in my ability to love!" Jack snorted sarcastically. Then he frowned and added, "Shit... it's not like you aren't stating a well-known fact..."

"I'm sorry, Jack... I can't help but think about that fact since I'm now potentially one of the women you will eventually betray..." Amanda couldn't bring herself to tell him that his betrayal of her would only happen if he ever stopped wanting her around... She would NOT outright tell him that she didn't care if he fucked other women... as long as she never knew about it and he always came back to her. She'd be a fool to give him carte blanche permission to screw around on her all he wanted!

Jack came to a sudden stop and released her hand to gesture wildly as he spoke in frustration. "Goddamn it, Amanda... you sound like you're already assuming that I want a relationship with you! You keep forgettin', honey... I'm supposedly already involved in a long-term relationship that has just gotten even more totally screwed up because I met you! So... thanks a lot for that!"

Amanda gritted her teeth to steel her emotions and remain calm. "I didn't say I was expecting a relationship with you, Jack! I said I was 'potentially' someone you'd betray... Even if you decided you wanted to pursue a relationship with me, it doesn't mean I'd agree! I love you, Jack, but I'm just not prepared to have my heart broken by you!"

Jack felt like he was being stabbed in the heart every time she voiced her doubt in his ability to love her. He looked down for a moment so she couldn't see the pain he knew must've been flashing in his eyes. He swallowed the pain and turned it to anger as he looked back up at her. "Well... you sure have a funny fuckin' way of professing your love for me!!! One second you say you love me and with the very next breath you're stating with certainty that I'm gonna break your heart! You can't even see your way clear to give me the benefit of the doubt! Thanks again, sweetheart!!!" he snarled with typical "Jack" pissiness.

Amanda couldn't stop the tears that sprang into her eyes. Her voice was strained from the unshed tears. "Well... what the hell am I supposed to believe, Jack?!!! Look at your past history!!! Has there ever been one woman in your life that you were completely faithful to for the duration of your relationship with her?!!" He folded his arms across his chest and just stared stoically at her with one of his eyebrows cocked. He obviously wasn't going to respond, as he knew she knew the answer to that.

So she continued, her voice reflecting her pain and agitation. "And what would make me any different than any of those other women... other than the fact that I was a virgin?!! Big fuckin' deal... so you're the first man to ever fuck me, Jack!!! Can you honestly tell me that fact alone is enough to make me so much more special that you'd never contemplate fuckin' any other woman but me ever again?!!!" She paused to see if he'd react in any way. He just raised his eyebrows as if in agreement and was waiting to see if she had anything further to add. " I guess we both know the answer to that... and I appreciate the fact that you're not even attempting to lie to me about any of this!!!"

Amanda paused again as a sob burst forth from the sudden painful thought that crossed her mind. "But maybe, Jack... JUST MAYBE, I MIGHT HAVE GIVEN YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT IF YOU'D LIED TO ME AND PROMISED ME THAT YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVER AND NEVER WANT ANOTHER WOMAN BUT ME FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!"

She spun around and took off running down the beach as tears streamed from her eyes and sobs tore from her soul. She didn't even bother to look back and see his reaction or whether he was following her... she fervently hoped he wouldn't. She needed to be away from him for a while and try to sort out her confused emotions...

Jack just stood there on the beach watching Amanda running away from him after painfully admitting to him that she'd wanted him to lie to her... She'd also admitted from the beginning that she had no delusions as to what kind of man he really was and yet she still loved him...

Jack Nicholson was suddenly shaken to his core from the realization that Amanda Lewis loved him more than any woman ever had in his life...

Now he just had to figure out how much that really meant to him...