Seeking and Finding

All the characters who have sex in the story are over 18. The one character that isn't over 18 obviously does not engage in any sexual activity.

Also, this story is a character piece with a lot of examination of their inner thoughts and mental state.

Also, there is a bit of violence in the story and some darker themes. The author does not condone or encourage violence against anyone, man or woman.

Some aspects of the law are discussed in the story. The author is no a lawyer. Do not depend upon the information in this story for legal advice.

This is a fictional story. Any similarity between these characters and the situations they are in and actual persons or situations is purely coincidental.

Ok, does that cover everything? Enjoy the story.

*****

John was now officially a criminal. It felt odd to actually break the law. There were so many times in his life growing up when people had treated him like a thief or worse even though he'd never broken any rules. Even with this endeavor, he'd tried to go about it the official and legal way first and only decided to break the law when he discovered that all the rules were stacked against him and he'd never be able to do what he wanted to do.

John was in a building he was not supposed to be in. He was wearing a uniform he was not supposed to be wearing. He was in an office he was not supposed to be in. He had the security key he was not supposed to have that went to a computer that he was not supposed to have access to.

John did not need to dig and dig for the information he wanted. One quick search in the database and everything was displayed. John synced the data to his phone, put everything back the way he found it, and got the hell out of there.

After he was back in his normal clothes and had circled the neighborhood a few times to make sure no one was coming after him; he went to the bus stop. As he sat there he looked at the information he'd taken. Right there were the names.

John was not supposed to have been a foster child. He wasn't supposed to have been bounced from home to home. He didn't care that his parents didn't want him. They had an obligation to him. They chose to have sex but then they wanted to get away from the consequences of their actions. They weren't free to choose to just abandon him.

Finding a current address for his parents wasn't very difficult. It was right there on their tax return which John was not supposed to be able to get. But he was growing to care less and less about what he was not supposed to be doing as every moment his anger grew towards the people who were supposed to have taken care of him but didn't.

There was also one more piece of information that threw John into a near rage storm. He had a sibling. Those fucking jackass parents of his didn't want him but they had kept some other child. And what was more, they had made over $200,000 the year he was born so it wasn't like they just couldn't afford to keep him. They gave him away out of being purely selfish. But John had already known that. It said so in the data he'd collected from the DCFS. They had wanted a girl and when John had been born a boy they just threw him away.

John got a small apartment near his parents' home and started working on his plan. He wanted to punish them but he didn't know how. He wanted to take all their money which should have rightfully been his. In a way he felt envious of the way he'd used to be. Like so many other foster children who'd known from a young age they would never have any thing, he'd grown to accept it. Lands, titles, and family were for other children. But now that John knew what had been taken from him, he wanted it and he felt the full insult of what had been done to him. It was his by right and if the law wasn't going to give it to him he had to appeal to something higher than the law.

John worked three jobs. Two of those jobs were just to get cash but the job he had at the restaurant was for something else. It was owned by his parents and John felt he had a connection to the place. They had set him to work in the kitchen washing dishes and John took that opportunity to learn everything he could about that business. In time he knew where every chair was, where every knife and fork went, and even how many cases of patties they went through in a day or a week. He memorized the entire operation in his head all the way down to how many tiles were on the ceiling and where those tiles had come from.

John did not spend all this time at the restaurant. He investigated his family and discovered so many interesting things. Unlike John, who'd finished high school with a 4.0, his idiot little sister finished with a 2.9. She had been very popular and played tennis but she was barely able to complete college and once she graduated she seemed to not really have any ambition in life. She'd been out of school for a year so far and hadn't found a job or started working on any kind of project. She just stayed at home living with John's parents.

As for his parents, his mother ate too much and had become very over weight so it wasn't a surprise to John when he found out his father had a girlfriend on the side. His father's girlfriend used to be a stripper but now worked as a waitress with an inflated salary in one of the other restaurants his parents owned. John had met her once and didn't think she was all that pretty. He wondered at the time if he should call her his step mom. In private that thought had brought a smile to his face. He had an evil step mother. Well, any family is better than no family.

Then came the day that John had perhaps been waiting for. His boss at the restaurant informed him that there was going to be a special event. The owners were coming and all the staff were going to have dinner with them. John had seen his family from a distance but now he was going to be face to face with them. At least he thought he would be face to face with them but he was so far from them during the event that logically he should have had no chance to speak with them.

Something about them made John sick. His stomach turned over while shakes began to originate from the back of his neck and radiate out through his arms. He tasted blood in his mouth as he watched them treat his retard sister as a fucking princess. They were making a big announcement that she would be coming to the restaurant to be an assistant manager. John grit his teeth and wondered if he had it in himself to take a shit in the soup they were going to be served.

John couldn't take any more. He got up, went through the kitchen, and found the back door. It was moments like this that John wished he was a smoker. He'd seen how one of them could almost instantly relax after taking a puff from one of their cancer sticks. John had no such easy out. He was going to have to feel this and let the feeling run its course.

Then a crazy idea entered his head. He could accuse them. He could confront them. He could walk right up to them and let everyone know he was their son and then tell everyone about how his parents were sorry pieces of garbage for giving him away.

He was going to do it. He felt himself building up to it. He was really going to do it. He was going to get everything out in the open. He was going to take this burden off his own shoulders and put it where it belonged. He was going to ...

"Hey," said a voice from the door.

John looked to see who it was. It was her. His sister was right there in front of him. Could he choke her? Could he punch her? But that would be wrong. No matter what his parents did, she was not part of that decision. She was at least innocent of that.

Now that she was right in front of him she seemed uncommonly pretty. She'd obviously inherited their mother's hair. It was blond with just the right amount of curl. She stood five nine or maybe five ten. She was slender with an athletic body but with a slightly larger than average bust.

John took a deep breath and got hold of himself. He put on his fake smile which always seemed to fool everyone. You don't grow up in foster care without learning how to look appreciative about getting something you know is crap.

"Hello," John finally said to her.

"I wanted to introduce myself to everyone and someone said they saw you go out this way. Heather Puteum. How do you do?"

It was odd. John had read all of her papers from college and sort of had this idea of what her voice sounded like. But now that he was hearing her actual voice it was so different. She sounded much more feminine than the brute force feminist she had tried to make herself out to be in her writing.

"John von Brunnen. Nice to meet you."

She smiled at the sound of his name. "I'm happy we'll be working together."

John just nodded and his sister was about to go back inside but then she turned again to him.

"You know, you shouldn't let whatever is making you so upset get in the way of a party. You can be mad about whatever it is later. For right now, don't you think it would be better to have some fun with everyone else?" She reached out and took his arm. She noticed the round white scars on his knuckles that contrasted with the tan on the rest of him. She pulled him with her and they both entered the building together.

John did his best to pretend to be happy and have fun. While the party was still going on John got an idea. No one noticed when he lifted and pocketed the two small items and took them from the dining area. He slipped out again and went to the drug store which was not that far away.

He bought two packages and used the cotton swab to hopefully lift the genetic material from the silverware his parents had used. He got some dna from his own mouth and paid the fee to the clerk. In two weeks he'd have a scientifically verifiable answer to the question of if those were really his parents or not. He already knew they were but more proof was always better.

He got back to the party just in time to see everyone start to go home. John was on clean up duty. While he was working he saw his father talking to that stripper he was fucking. Even as angry as he was with his mother for wanting only a girl, he still felt hatred for his father for cheating on his mother.

The next day at one of his other jobs, John was pulled aside by his boss. His boss praised him for his work and then she said she had John in mind for a promotion. She wanted him to be one of the team leaders. That would make him full time with benefits. It would also mean he'd have to quit the restaurant or at least cut back his hours.

John thought about what he wanted to do. Did he really have a plan to do anything more with his parents than what he'd already done? Not really. He didn't want to give up whatever it was he was doing but the pressures of paying rent and not having a car made his other job look a lot more appealing. Maybe after he was very successful and his sister was an abject failure he could confront his parents and let them know they gave away the wrong child. That was starting to look like a good plan.

That night at the restaurant John made up his mind. He knew he could do his work well enough just knowing that his parents owned this place. In fact, knowing that it was supposed to be his made him put extra care into everything he did. He treated everything in the place like it was his own. It was precious. But if he were honest, it was not his and would never be his. He was living in a fantasy. It was time to go back to the real world. With his sister working at the place John felt there was no way he'd be able to keep his cool. Staying there was out. He'd need another plan.

All during the shift John found his eyes going again and again to his sister. Why had his parents chosen her over him? She disgusted him but he knew that was unfair to her. In truth, it wasn't really her that bothered him. It was the action of his parents that she represented.

When the shift was over John waited for all the other staff to go home and then he went to see the head manager. John put in his two weeks notice and the manager was very disappointed. He begged John to at least stay to work the weekend. John considered it but just as he was about to say yes to that his sister entered the office and just the sight of her changed his mind. He declined.

The head manager was not stupid. He saw how John had changed as soon as he saw her and he wasn't blind to the way John had been looking at her.

"Say Heather, do you know John?"

"We've met." she said.

"I tell you, no one works harder than this young man right here but he says he wants to leave us."

"I'm getting a promotion at my other job." John defended.

"We'll be sorry to lose you." Heather said.

John just smiled at her.

"The thing is, John;" started the head manager again. "We do actually need another assistant manager."

"You should offer it to Molly. She's been here longer."

"I know but I want to offer it to you. You work harder than her and besides, she's not going anywhere."

The head manager watched John's expression as his eyes moved from him to Heather and back to him. Then he saw John put on his fake smile.

"I would love to. You know I'd love to. I love everyone here. But I can't. I've already decided and there's something to be said about how you change once you make a decision."

The head manager saw he was not going to talk John out of this so he let John know he'd be off the schedule from the next Monday. Those last few days he worked at the restaurant his parents owned he didn't see much of Heather. She always came in later than everyone else and left earlier. She was always doing training for her job so John was able to work in peace and then the day came that he didn't work there anymore.

In the weeks that followed John cleared his head, excelled at his job, and could actually get through the whole day without thinking of his parents or his sister or the restaurant. With all the additional money he was making he was going to be able to afford a car and a bigger place in no time. But then the test results came in the mail. He found them in his mailbox on a Friday evening. He opened them right there in the lobby without going up to his apartment. He looked at the data.

The form said 99% but really that meant 100% as far as John was concerned. His mother was in fact his mother and his father was in fact his father. He was in kind of a daze as he rode the elevator up to the 8th floor. Everything was silent. He felt a doom come over his face. As he stood in his living room he felt his heart start to race and race. It wasn't pumping lightly either. Each push of blood through his body was like some great drum being pounded. He felt like he was going to tear out of his skin. It felt like there was some sort of resistance in his veins and his heart had to work extra hard to force his blood to circulate.

Tears fell from his eyes and he had to wash his face to regain his composure.

He found himself walking to the restaurant. He went in and the hostess almost didn't recognize him in a suit. She was happy to see him and she put him at a table with a great view. Now that John was here he guessed he might as well order some food.

"Hello, John. It's nice to see you again." Heather said. "I'll be your server for this evening."

"Where's Kevin?"

"Would you rather he wait on you?"

Sigh. "No. I guess it doesn't really matter."

"I'll try to do a good job. So, would you like to start with a drink?"

John ordered his meal and expected Heather to be gone for some time before she returned but she came back right away with a glass of water. Then, instead of just leaving him to himself she sat down at his table. This got John to raise and eyebrow.

"How's your new job going?"

"It was a promotion and it's going well. How about you? Do you like working in the food services industry?"

The question made her put a sarcastic smile on her face. "Well enough." she said while her body telecast that; no, in fact she did not like working in a restaurant.

"Your parents never did any work in the shop. Why did you choose to do so?"

"I have to do something."

"I would have thought you'd want to live in New York or Milan."

"That is oddly specific."

"You majored in fashion design. If you want to work in fashion I would have figured those to be the places to go."

"Did you go to college?"

"I did."

"And what was your major?"

"Pre law."

"So why aren't you in law school?"

"Who says I'm not?"

"You don't work as much as you and go to law school on the side."

"The law and I aren't very good friends at the moment."

"What you mean to say is you couldn't pass your LSAT."

"I never took it."

"So, what's your plan for life? You're just going to work in an office for thirty years and then retire?"

"That's not a bad plan." he said.

"I guess not." she admitted.

"The more important question is what's your plan. What are you going to do with your life?"

"Honestly; ... I ... I don't know."

"Tell me, what do you think of Jenny?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "Let's not talk about her."

"Why not?"

"Come on. If you're asking me about her then you know why."

"So, when are you going to fire her?"

"My dad won't let me fire her."

"Does your mother know?"

"She pretends like she doesn't but she does."

"Before your parents were married your mother said in a speech at a feminist rally that if she ever had a husband who cheated on her she'd smash his face in, then leave and never look back."

"You seem to know a lot about my family."

"Due diligence. If I was going to work for you then I was going to know what kind of people were signing my paychecks."

"And what did you discover?"

"There's a chance I might know about a few things that you don't."

She laughed at him. "Like what?"

"You should ask your parents if they know what happened to your older brother."

"I don't have a brother."

"I actually met him once, a long time ago."

"I think you might have us confused with someone else."

John was going to elaborate more but just then the head manager came over. He hinted to Heather that she was actually supposed to be getting John's food for him. Heather took her leave and the head manager thanked John for coming and said he hoped John found everything 100% to his satisfaction.

John's meal came and instead of Heather returning it was Kevin who brought it to him. As he ate he decided to end this. He wasn't going to bother his parents or his sister anymore. He wasn't their son. Sure, physically he was but no one knew that. Not even they knew that. Only John knew that. He legally was not their son.

He thought about it and he actually didn't want them to be his parents. He started to feel perhaps that he'd been lucky they gave him away. They had raised a girl who had no clue what to do with her life. She had no goals, no dreams, and no passion. She could not be his sister.

John was his own man. He'd make his own family. He'd make his own future. The time for thinking about what should have been his was over and it was time to go and get something of his own that he would not have to share with anyone.

Deep down he knew that the material things were not what he really wanted. There was something he wanted but he didn't know how to put words to it. It was some kind of feeling he wanted. Like a hug or ... something. But that was never going to happen. Even if he told them who he really was, that was never going to happen. Was this what people called closure? Must be. Anyway, time to move on. Time for him to live his life.

John looked up and saw Heather looking at him. She had noticed that John was left handed the same as she and her father. Without knowing what was going through her mind John lifted up his fork to solute her and she lifted up the pencil she had just been using to write something on a ticket.