Sela Ch. 05

Sela was not completely recovered when she arrived at Eric's, but was able to put her encounter with Emery in the back of her mind. When Eric opened the door, the sight of him sent her body buzzing with anticipation. Eric, no doubt, was his own top brand of virility.

"Sela," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "Sexy as always. Mind taking off the boots. I don't want to mark up my floors."

Sela looked down at the rich dark wood floors and understood completely. They were worth a fortune.

"Mahogany," she commented absentmindedly.

"You know your wood," he said, tilting his head at her unexpected knowledge.

Eric's home in the Berkeley hills was of a sleek modern design. A wall of windows in the open concept living room and kitchen overlooked Berkeley and the Bay. On a clear day he could likely see all the way into city. Tonight the city lights twinkled in the distance.

"Your home is beautiful, Eric." Sela said gazing out the wall of windows.

"Thank you," he said in his low voice, helping her out of her coat and sending a shiver up her spine.

"Are you cold? You're hardly wearing a thing."

"No. I'm fine." Sela looked up at Eric who smiled down at her. "Why am I here Eric?"

"I invited you. Is that a problem?" His blue eyes bored into her, unnerving her. Was it a problem?

"I don't know."

Eric said nothing, just continued his penetrating gaze for a few moments.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" he asked, pulling his gaze away, and gently laying her coat on the back of a chair.

Eric sauntered into the kitchen that was open to the room and the same wall of windows. He wore a black t-shirt and a faded jeans, his feet bare. Sela admired his backside, struck by his utter sexiness. Eric could have anyone. Why her? Why this way?

"Please have a seat," Eric said handing her a glass of red wine. "You seem nervous."

Sela sat down, pondering whether she was nervous, and if so what was making her nervous. She had expected Eric to begin a scene immediately, but he was himself as if he they were friends having a casual evening together. She was lit with desire, her stomach burned with need and anticipation. Though she didn't want to admit it, she was intensely attracted to Eric. Not just the power and dominance he exuded, but also the tenderness and affection he gave her. He was dangerous, a man she could fall in love with. No Sela, she warned herself. You cannot fall for Eric.

"Not really," she finally replied. "I'm just not sure why I'm here."

"Why are you here, Sela?" Eric asked.

"I just.." she couldn't think how to finish her words. Why was she here? Pain? Pleasure? To take care of this burning need that plagued her?

"Just a fuck?" Eric asked.

"Well, yes." It wasn't true. She wanted more, but a fuck was all she was willingly to accept.

"I don't want to be just a fuck."

"Eric, I -"

"Don't want anyone getting too close?" his brow shot up and his gaze bore into her. It was as if he tried to bore into her soul to pry out the answers she'd never reveal.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It's complicated. It's difficult. It's just how it has to be for me."

"Sounds like bullshit to me."

"I should go. This isn't what I expected. I can't do this." She moved to place her wine glass on the table.

"Why, Sela? Give me something to understand you." His hand caught hers with the wine glass. Sela looked at him, her eyes almost pleading with his to let her be.

"Eric, I don't know if I can or if I want to."

"You told Brynn."

"That was different. It's confidential."

"It's confidential with me too. I'd never discuss anything you tell me."

"No Eric! This isn't what I want" Sela rose quickly, placing her glass on the coffee table.

Eric stood up, stopping her. He brought his mouth close to her and held her head in his hands.

"Don't go, Sela. I won't push. If you don't want to talk, then just listen to me." His whisper caught her unaware. Though demanding it was also beseeching. Sela relaxed with his proximity. He had that effect on her. He was calming, strong, and for some reason safe. Sela looked up at him, bewildered. Why did he want her to stay?

"Okay," she said sitting back on the couch. Eric took a seat next to her, turning toward her.

"I don't really know where to begin, to explain where I am today. Why I need you to listen to me."

"Hard isn't it?"

"Yes. I guess it is." He sighed. "The first night we met at the club, I'd just returned from a year long trip, Europe, Africa, India, South America. I just roamed, traveled, went wherever I wanted, wherever I felt the need to be. I'd just sold my software company. I had no idea what was next for me, but I felt lost, empty. I achieved a lot, but at a cost. This is hard. I don't know what to tell you, because this could drag on forever."

"What is it you want me to know?" He seemed at a loss for words, for a direction for what he was trying to say. To Sela, Eric always seemed confident, sure of what he wanted and where he was going. Now, though he was caught unexpected by his own decision to tell his own story.

"That night, I hadn't expected to be with anyone. Brynn asked me."

"Brynn asked you to be with me?" Sela was shocked. She had thought their encounter was by chance, not orchestrated by Brynn. Why would Brynn do that?

"Yes. Believe me. I was horny as hell and you, well you're beautiful. Brynn didn't explain much. She just said, she'd feel better if I was with you, than anyone else at the club."

"And the other times?" Why did she feel betrayed that it was all a set up? Isn't that what she wanted? Something contrived, false, not real.

"I wanted to be with you. You're need was different, it was intense, to the point it left you vulnerable." His voice gained more control, more authority, yet also that tone of caring. The tone that had become part of their time together.

"I'm not vulnerable Eric. I know what I'm doing." Her voice became firm.

"Yes, you do, but you're afraid of your own desire and that leaves you vulnerable."

"So you felt protective?" Sela's tone was accusatory. She didn't need anyone to protect her.

"Yes."

Sela thought about what he said. Why did he or Brynn for that matter think she needed protecting? Protection from what? She wasn't weak or needy.

"Why were you always there? Well, except those two times."

"Brynn knew you were coming. She'd call me. Those two times. I wasn't available. It worried me. Worried Brynn." Damn, those watery blue eyes. Such a mixture of caring, intelligence and utter sexiness.

"I don't need people to worry about me. I am an adult." Sela leaned forward, very uncomfortable, pissed at the implied condescension.

"Brynn likes you. I like you. You're impossible not to like and care about. Anyway, the thing is, that wasn't the type of relationship I wanted. The club, dom-sub relationships, those worked for me when I was building my company. When I worked 100 hours a week and all I cared about was the business. What I want you to know Sela, is that I can't do the club with you."

"If you don't want that, why invite me here? Why not just call me and tell me?"

"I said I can't do the club. I like having sex with you. I like it a lot. I don't understand why you don't want personal intimacy, but I need it. I want it. I don't want a dom-sub relationship. And, yes, I'm envious of Brynn and Evan's relationship. I don't know if I'll ever have that, but Sela, I at least need you to be my friend."

Friend? What the fuck? Eric need a friend? How could he exude such power and confidence, yet at the same time admit how much he longed for connection.

"Eric, you don't understand." Sela shook her head, not liking where the conversation was headed. Friends? Could she be friends with Eric? No, that isn't the deal. Nothing personal. It had to be that way. Besides, friends was a euphemism for a fuck buddy, or even more, a girlfriend.

"No, I don't understand. You have to have friends." His hand went to her knee. He was very close to her and the proximity made her mind swirl. He was virile, sexy and capable of making her come hard again and again. She wanted that, needed that. Not friends, not caring, not a relationship and that is what Eric was offering.

"I have friends Eric, but it's different. I'll care too much."

"And that's a bad thing? You're right I don't understand. You're holding back on me, not telling me something." His hand grew harder, tighter on her thigh. His look fierce, intense. My god, he is fucking sexy. He is confounding me. Making me want him, yet making me want to push him away at the same time. It was getting to be too much. What could she tell him to make him understand.

"Eric, I've had three relationships and all of them have ended very badly."

"Relationships often do."

"Not the way these ended. Whenever I care about someone, they get hurt. Worse than hurt. Destroyed. I can't tell you Eric, because not telling is what keeps me free. I'm sure that's even more confusing for you, but I can't tell you. It's not that I won't, it's that I can't. This is why I don't like personal questions. This Eric, is exactly what I cannot do. Go find someone to love Eric, but I can't be your friend and most of all I cannot be your lover." Sela tried to get up again, but Eric restrained her. His hand coming up to her arm. His face coming closer to her.

"Sela, I get it, something very bad happened...more than once. You don't have to tell me. So don't tell me about your past, that's fine. But know that I can't give you what you need without getting something in return. I was a man-whore Sela. I can't begin to count the number of women I've slept with or even recount the shit I've done. I'm 34 years old and I haven't had a real relationship. You can't have a relationship, but I can't not have one."

"Right, so what are we doing here? It's clear Eric." She held his gaze intently. She knew he needed something from her, but how could she give it to him?

"Sela, you're going to do something unsafe."

"I'm an adult. I can take care of myself." Sela attempted to push him away, but he was like a steel wall. For god sake, couldn't he get the message. Nothing can work between the two of them.

"Sela, the need you have is intense. It's more than sexual. It goes deeper than that and if you don't confront whatever it is, you'll do something stupid."

"That sounds like Brynn talking. Exactly how much did she tell you?

"She didn't tell me anything Sela. I can see it. I watch you. There's a desperation in your look."

"I'm not fucking desperate Eric. I'm know I can have a lot of men if I wanted to." Her teeth were clenched and she wanted desperately to feel only anger at him, but he was chipping away at the wall she'd put up. With each chip she grew closer and closer to tears. Sela looked down, not wanting Eric to see the tears welling up in her eyes. She felt his breath next to her face. He was so close and she couldn't decide if she wanted him there or not.

They stayed silent for what seemed like several minutes, but was surely only seconds. Her breathing settled and her tears dried up instead of falling. The lump in her throat softened. Then she felt the soft kisses he bestowed upon her neck, moving up to her ear. His hand went to her thigh, soft deft fingers lightly touching her skin as he continued his soft kisses. Her strong desire flared. Sela struggled to reconcile her mixed emotions - wanting to be angry, to leave, to never see him again, yet also needing to feel his body pressing upon hers. Every second he touched her, she felt herself become wetter and more wanting.

Keeping one hand on her thigh, the other went around to the back of her head and lips crushed upon her urgency. Sela was helpless, she craved, she wanted him and she responded back with her own intense desire. Effortlessly, Eric picked her up his lips never leaving hers.

"Where are we going?" Sela asked.

"To my room, baby. I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you long and hard. I'm going to make you come hard all around my cock." Holy fuck. Yes, was all she could think.

Eric stood Sela by the bed and with strong, swift strokes took her clothes off of her, delivering kisses and nips at her skin. He took her breast in his hand, bring his mouth down to her nipple. His tongue delivered soft licks, circling the areola. His lips sucked, soft at first, then harder, tighter, pulling until she felt the pleasurable pain and cried out. Eric seemed different, hungry, full of passion and desire. There was not distance of the dom-sub, this was primal, real carnal need and desire.

Pushing her down on the bed he took off his shirt revealing the chiseled abs and pectorals that sent another bolt of electricity from her stomach to her pussy that was throbbing in want, wet, aroused, needing. After, providing her other breast with equal treatment, Eric went back to her mouth, his tongue invading her mouth. Her tongue sought his, their kiss deepened and increase in desire and urgency. Eric pulled away and looked down at Sela with a knowing wicked smile. Oh fuck, Sela thought. I love that look.

Eric rose from the bed and took off his belt.

"Raise your arms above your head," he commanded. Sela complied easily, raising her arms about her head and feeling him tie and tighten the belt around her wrists, increasing the excitement and anticipation she felt.

"Don't take what I said earlier for weakness, Sela," Eric said into her ear. "I'm still dominant in bed...always. Don't forget that." Her arms were restrained by his belt. How exactly would she forget he was dominant?

"Now, I'm going to do something I've wanted to do for a while now." He took her legs and forced her knees up and apart, revealing her waxed, sopping wet pussy. With another wicked look, he said "I'm going to eat you like a whole almond."

Sela's shot up her mouth agape. "What did you say?"

Eric smirked. "I said I'm going to eat you like a whole almond. It's - "

"Neruda," Sela finished his words, making Eric's smile deepen.

"You know your poets."

"I know Neruda." God curse me, Sela thought. She desired Eric so thoroughly already. But the man quoting Neruda, she was gone, done for. She was his.

"Then you know the passion." His mouth began licking and kissing its way up her thigh, inching closer to her sex. God how she wanted his mouth on her, his tongue inside her. He stopped at the top of her thigh and began the same processes with the other thigh. Ugh, that's right, Sela thought. He doesn't do that -. Oh fuck.

Eric's mouth passed the top her thigh and began soft strokes on her clit, making her arch her back in unexpected pleasure.

"I thought this was one of your rules?" Sela said hoarsely. Not that she wanted to remind him or anything.

"That was at the club. This is my room and I want to taste your delicious sweet cunt. Now stop moving and talking. I plan to enjoy myself."

Oh god, yes. No holds barred, Eric. Bossy, dirty talking dominant. It was difficult to keep still with his talented tongue lapping at her clit, his lips sucking on her, his tongue delving inside her. He was feasting on her and she was so close to coming. Sensing her on the cliff, Eric stopped, leaving her hanging.

"No. Please. I'm so close," Sela begged.

"I know you are Sela. That's exactly why I stopped. You'll come when I'm ready for you to come. Give me your hands." Sela brought her hands down letting Eric take them and guide her off of the bed, pushing her down to her knees. She looked at him with a delighted smile. She knew exactly what was next. Eric smiled down at her and unbuttoned his jeans, letting them drop to the floor and stepping out of them. His cock was hard, purple and thick. Sela couldn't wait to get her mouth around it.

"Suck me Sela," Eric said, pulling her head back with her hair. He moaned as his cock slid in her mouth, her tongue swirling around the head. By holding her head, he felt he had control, but Sela knew that no man was in control when a woman was sucking his cock. Pretend all you want Eric, Sela thought. If you are going to bring me to the edge, I'll do the same to you.

As he pushed into her mouth, Sela relaxed her throat, taking him deeply, her lips sucking, tightening around him.

"Oh fuck," Eric moaned. "You are so goddamn beautiful sucking my cock baby. Keep your eyes on me Sela. Watch what you do to me." His eyes closed as he plunged into his own pleasure. Gently fucking her mouth as she continued to lick and suck his cock. He looked down at her again seeing that obediently she continued to look up at him. His cock stiffened more, he was close himself, but wasn't ready. He had more planned for her.

"Stop, baby. I'm not ready to come yet," he said, but Sela refused to let go with her mouth. Her eyes grew wicked as she kept control of his cock, letting him feel her teeth. She felt him suck in his breath as he roughly stilled her head, wrapping her hair around his hand and roughly pushing deeply into her mouth so she gagged reflexively, letting go.

"That was very naughty of you Sela." He pulled her to her feet and began to untie the belt from her wrist. Oh shit, he's going to use that on me, Sela thought. Isn't this what you want, she said to herself.

"Lay on the bed on your back," Eric commanded. Sela complied, stretching on his bed. Eric went over to a chest of drawers and pulled two long silk sashes from a drawer. The first he used to tie her wrist to the headboard. The second he wound around her knees pulling them up so they were nearly on either side of her head. He then tied them to the post, with an intricate knot that left little latitude for movement. Her ass was slightly off the bed and her pussy was at his mercy. She was bound in a revealing, vulnerable position that gave him full view and access to her. Well, he get's an A for bondage, she thought. Good thing she had long legs and did regular stretching.

"Are you going to punish me?" she asked.

"Of course. What did you expect?" he said, a look of dominance and triumph on his face and the tender half smile. "I'll give you some time to think about the error of your ways." He said, departing from the room.

"Where are you going?" Sela yelled after him.

"You know how this works, Sela. I don't have to answer that." He yelled back, his voice disappearing down the hallway.

Where was he going? What was he going to do? Was he retrieving something to spank her with? A whip? A cane? Those were limits, her rules, but he had broken his own. Surely he wouldn't do that. He can't. No, he wouldn't. She knew that about him. Sela heard him nearing and her heart beat quickly.

Eric sauntered into the room fully naked in his adonis glory and carrying a glass of red wine. He sat down in a chair facing the bed and looked at her trussed to the bed.

This might be worse than spanking, Sela thought. He's really going to sit there and stare at her? It was embarrassing, humiliating and hot all at once. She looked up at the ceiling trying not to think about him sitting there, staring at her.

"Are you going to spank me?" She finally asked, wanting to break the silence.

"Um, that would be too easy," Eric said rising from the chair, coming over to her and sitting on the bed.

"Too easy?"

"Too easy on you. Not that I didn't think about it, but then I thought of a better punishment."

Better punishment? Hot wax? Clamps? What did he have in mind? Before he could ask, she felt his finger lightly touching her clit and she sucked in her breath. Closing her eyes, she lost herself in the circling of his finger on her clit. The fact that she could barely move added intensity to his touch. Eric inserted his finger inside her and circled there, adding a second finger and moving in out of her, circling around as she moaned. She was moving closer and closer to ecstasy, forgetting that he was punishing her. She only felt pleasure. Eric watched her nearing the cliff, bringing her closer and closer until he knew to stop at the precipice.