Selling Myself Jeff's Complaint

Just then the doorbell rang, "That'll probably be for you sweetie, don't bother with birthday or Christmas cards, ok!"

Katelyn got up looking like something the cat dragged in and answered the door. "Katelyn Summers?" The police officer questioned. When Kat nodded she continued, "We're here to arrest you on charges of prostitution; you will accompany us to the station to answer further questions. You have the right to remain silent..."

As the officers read Kat her rights the female officer turned her and snapped the cuffs on her wrists, Katelyn for her part just stood there and looked at me with a shameful face and pain filled eyes. "Please Jeffery, don't let them do this sweetheart, I'm not a bad person, I never hurt anyone! At least can I ask you for one last favour? Will you call my parents and let them know that I will need a lawyer? I'm so very sorry Jeffery."

It was at that moment that I couldn't hold back my own tears. "No more than I Katelyn; no more then I! And what I'm now going to say now will make even worse!"

Katelyn started to cry almost uncontrollably. I think she had an inkling of what I was going to say, "You have no family Katelyn! Everyone knows already what you have done to your family. Not one of them wants to have anything to do with you! Not your mother, father, or siblings. Not even your daughters! They told me to tell you that their mother died three years ago."

With that, I sunk back into my recliner and buried my face in my hands, all the emotions I had been dealing with and bottled up over the last couple of month came rushing out and I couldn't stop them. The police just turned Kat around and escorted her to the patrol car.

I then remembered something one of my Italian friends once said about a little saying that his parents use to use on him when he was being boisterous and unruly, "Dopo a risata venadi u chianto" or loosely translated it reads... "After the laughter comes the crying." I couldn't help but feel that this saying was so aptly applicable in this situation. Katelyn has had her fun, now she'll be crying for a long time to come.

~...~

So where'd this leave me after the smoke had clear and everyone had time to lick their wounds, bury their dead and try to make the most of what was left.

1.My ex-wife was a disease-riddled whore, who was heading off to jail and whose family had divorced her. 2.Caroline and her husband Chad had lost everything they owned either from confiscation or my law suit. 3.Cascade Engagements and Robert Casey had to explain to the authorities why their operating licence shouldn't be revoked. That wasn't what brought them undone in the end though. It was the loss of clients and their reputation that ran them out of town. 4.Katelyn's clients were scurrying and diving into the nearest cesspools to avoid my law suits, and from what I can understand, there were a rash of divorces and bankruptcies after the smoke cleared.

That wasn't the last time I met up with my now ex-wife. I saw her again not long after she got out on parole from doing nine months of a one year sentence on prostitution charges. Apparently, some politician was up for re-election at the time and they threw the book at her. I'm told the one year for the first offence is rather uncommon, but the authorities wanted to make a statement that they were cleaning up the area. It's all political bluster and bullshit I know, because no one will ever be able to stamp out the oldest profession in the world.

Kat was wearing the same cloths she went to prison in, the very same ones she left the house in, but they didn't fit so well now. She'd put on quite a few pounds and now they just made her look that much fatter. When she saw me she turned and ran crying into the crowd. Even then, I didn't feel all that sorry for her, I was far too concerned with my own demons.

It was another two years before I had another run in with her.

"Hello Jeffery!" I looked up to see Katelyn standing in front of my table nervously, rocking from one foot to the other. This time she actually looked presentable if not beautiful, although you could tell that time and tide had taken its toll. You'd be right in thinking that she looked like a tired old hooker on the make, but for the sake of decency I kept my opinions to myself.

"Katelyn!" Looking around to see just who was in the club at the time, "What brings you around here? What do you want?" I tried not to make it sound bitter, I'm not at all sure I succeeded.

Kat glanced over her shoulder. "Yes Jeff, I'm still a whore, an old tired worn out but legal one, still working my arse off trying to make ends meet. You worried that someone will recognise me and wonder if you're associating with lowlife scumbags now?"

I just shrugged my shoulders. "We both have reputations to protect. I see no reason to put either of them in jeopardy." My sarcasm was rearing its ugly head.

Kat fidgeted with her clutch purse. "I need to talk to you Jeffery. I need to know how the girls are fairing, I never once abandoned them, you must believe that. It makes me sick at heart to think that I'll never see or talk to them again. I tried to talk to my family, but mum and dad just slammed the door in my face, and neither of my sisters or my brother are any different."

Kat started to tear up. "Please Jeffery, I know I fucked up beyond all reason, but I need to atleast know what the girls are doing, something to keep me sane. I'll get down on my knees and beg if I have to. Just give me an hour of your time and I'll never bother you again."

I don't know if it was the passage of time or that I was having just as much trouble getting past what had happened. I think I needed closure as well, so I relented and checked my watch. "I have a date that I'm waiting on to arrive. I'll meet you in the park, Tenth and Wicks, tomorrow at noon. I'll even shout lunch."

Katelyn brightened and almost fell over herself thanking me, "Ohhh thank you so much Jeffery, you can't imagine how happy this makes me. I promise I won't pressure you in anyway. Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you again!" She backed up with a teary smile. "I better get my whore ass out of here before your lady friend shows up and thinks your standards have fallen through the floor. Thank you again, I'll see you at the park tomorrow at noon sharp." With that, she scurried out in double quick time.

While waiting for Dana to show up, I had time to ponder what might be on the cards for my noon meeting with Katelyn. My life from that day when Katelyn had been hauled off to jail hasn't been a bed of roses. I don't really have to work, but do so more to keep myself occupied than for any other monitory reasons.

I spend most of my time doing charity work for non-profit organisations. Cystic Fibrosis is one I'm heavily into, being that a long time friend's child has it and I can tell you, it's a insidious condition, with little or no survival rate. Things like this helped me take my mind off my marriage breakup, but didn't completely erase it from my memory bank.

I have spent many a sleepless night wondering just where I went wrong. Was there at any time before Kat's fall from grace that I could have diverted her from her chosen path? I know it has affected my relationships since then, I now have this "Find'em, Fuck'em and forget'em attitude.

Very rarely have any of my relationships gone more than a month or two. I do crave the closeness that I felt with Katie, and I find myself getting angry all over again. I was somewhat pleased when Dana showed up and helped me push my maudlin thoughts into the background at least for one more night.

The park I chose for our talk was one that had few patrons and a nicely secluded picnic table. Not that I needed it for the same reason I had used this particular table in the past.

Katelyn was there already, sitting with her back to me just staring at the line of shrubs that hid this meeting place. What made me curious was that I was actually almost an hour early myself. Her attire was anything than upmarket, while being clean and neat; her clothes looked decidedly like welfare specials. I considered staying back and letting her wait, but realised that, that was petty and it didn't really make any difference what time was set.

"Did you sleep here last night?"

Kat jumped and spun around at the sound of my voice. "Ohhh god, you scared me!" She did recover quickly though. "No, No, I don't have much to do in the mornings these days, and contrary to what you may have thought yesterday, I didn't work last night, so I was in bed and asleep early. I woke this morning nervous because I didn't know if you were going to show up or if you were going to stand me up for a little more payback."

I was going to comment but she held up her hand. "I knew deep down that you wouldn't; you're not built that way, but it worried me just the same. I thought today was so sunny and fine that it was probably a good thing to have a little time to sit and think about what I need to say."

"Ok then it's you sixty minutes, just please spare me the insincere apologies and ridiculous platitudes." I quipped as I took a seat opposite her.

Kat watched me sit. "I have every intention of apologising, but I can assure you that it will be sincere and heartfelt. As for platitudes, well you really need arrogance to be able to pull them off and there is now not an ounce of arrogance in my body, you drained that out of me years ago. The life I have now have doesn't leave room for anything resembling those feelings of self-importance, but I'm atleast better off than Caroline."

I felt my eyebrow rise in hearing about Caroline, and Kat noticed and smiled. "I thought that would interest you. I'm living in a one room bedsit with a single bed, dresser, a small basin and microwave for furnishings; I'm living in the lap of luxury compared to Caroline and I can't seem to feel any sympathy for her in the least.

When we were jailed, she made it her mission to punish me, I can tell you, I have no good feelings for her or her plight. Caroline and Chad have split up; apparently, genital warts are a real pain when you get them around the mouth."

Katelyn had a little giggle at that. "Chad had a fetish for creampie, and Caroline was only too willing to supply them for him. Now she's commuting between women's shelters while doing business in back allies. Chad has left town for parts unknown and Caroline has had to fend for herself. I atleast, have my own rented place and work for a low end market legal brothel." She dropped her head and whispered as if to herself. "Well, for now atleast at any rate!"

"I would have thought you were on easy street from the financial records in your journal. What happened to the three thousand a day you were earning?"

Katelyn looked up and stared blankly at me, then burst out laughing. "I suppose I deserved that! You once accused me of taking you for an imbecile, I'd appreciate it if you don't try and con me into think you are one. Look at me Jeffery! I'm a fifty three year old hooker that has aged twenty in the last seven. When the shit finished hitting the fan; Cascade Engagements was out of business, Robert wouldn't even take my calls and my regular clients were either too busy trying to save their own hides, or so pissed at me that I couldn't have got five dollars for an all nighter."

Kate shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "Word travels fast in this industry and I was too much of a hot potato to be considered a hot fuck. Now I just survive from day to day waiting for the day I follow Caroline into being a bag lady."

I sat there studying Katelyn's face. I tried to gauge if this rhetoric was for garnering sympathy or not. The look she gave me wasn't sympathy, but simple resignation. "Why don't you get a proper job?"

Kat simply smiled. "I found out very quickly that there wasn't an iceblocks chance in hell of that ever happening. I have trash my reputation so completely that no respectable employer will touch me. The conditions of my parole set out that I have to inform any potential employer of my conviction. If fifty three isn't bad enough, finding legitimate, respectable employment, then having a criminal record kind of blows any chance. I'm annoyed that because of my conviction; I'm lumbered into a group with paedophiles and rapists as a sex offender. That means that I can't work anywhere around children either."

I had to admit that little bit of information got to me and we sat there not talking for a few minutes. Then Kat brightened a little. "So there you have it Jeffery, my life trashed beyond recognition. And before you say anything, unlike Caroline who thinks that you and I are responsible for all her misfortune! I don't hold you responsible for one little bit of it."

Katelyn screwed up a tissue she was holding. I did at first, I damned you to hell for throwing away our marriage and my life. However, the more I thought about it, I realised I had done it all by myself, and for what? For the thrill of the sexual encounters, the high I got from the wickedness of going behind your back."

Katelyn grimaced. "I take full responsibility for my fall from grace. I am terribly sorry for hurting you the way I did, I'm beside myself with grief for what I have done to our girls. I can't imagine what they must have had to endure with school and friends, having a mother like me. There are no words to express the pain I feel at night, the disgust I have for myself as I force myself to endure another day at work."

"You told me that I sugar coated what I was doing! You were right; it was the money that made it look respectable, I realised that my clients had no more respect for me, than they'd give a twenty-dollar whore, standing on a street corner!"

Tears were falling by now, and I have to admit, she had got to me. "You have hurt me beyond imagining Jeffery, but if you feel even one tenth of my agony for what I did to you, then it is way too much for me to bear. I humbly ask for you to allow me a little peace. I know I have no right but, I'm asking you to forgive me for my arrogant stupidity that has destroyed the only thing I have considered worth living for."

Katelyn dropped to her knees and cried freely. "I'm begging you to allow me to know what our children are doing, to give me something to hold onto, because where I am now, is nothing short of a living hell." The look on my face must have warned Kat as to what I was thinking. "Ohhh, don't worry; I have no intention of offing myself. I don't have the courage to do it!" Katelyn sobbed, then broke down completely then.

I needed a break and I was sure that Kat did too. "I'll tell what! You agree to allow me to buy you lunch, and I'll forgive you for being a numbskull... and try to help you mend your bridge with the girls, what do you say ... deal?"

Katelyn sniffed and wiped a shaking hand across her face to remove the tears running down her cheek. I had made my offer so matter-of-factly that she thought I was just twisting the knife. "Please don't do this Jeffery, I meant everything I've said today. I am sorry for everything, but if you can't find it in your heart to forgive me then I'll just have to accept that and leave you in peace."

Katelyn got to her feet and with her head bowed, she finished. "I can see that you still hate me so...Good bye Jeffery, I do hope in my heart that you can get by this and move on with your life. Please tell our girls that I do still love them and wish them well."

As she turned to walk off, I stated, "I never did answer that question, did I?"

Kat paused a little perplexed, but said nothing. "You asked a question just before you left that day when you were arrested, you said... 'You really hate me that much; don't you?' You said it again just now."

Kat nodded. "To set the record straight...No! No I didn't hate you. I don't even hate you know, I hated what you had done. I felt like strangling you, I felt like kicking you to death, but not because I hated you. It was because I loved you with all my heart, because you took my wife, my life, my family, our future we were working for all our married life and killed it. I loved you then and in an aberrant fashion I still do."

I was flicking leaves off the table as I continued. "Just like you, I have had years to mull over what has happen and when you left last night, I realised that I had exchanged one whoring wife for an ex-wife who is a whore. I hadn't solve one damn thing! All I'd done was whitewashed my life and hated it every time the old life bled though. Yes you hurt me, but after I kicked your whore ass out, I then proceeded to hurt myself and I need to stop if I'm to ever have any peace."

I looked straight at her. "To do that I need to offer you grace for what you have said yourself is unforgivable. I forgive you Katie and although I can't forget, and I can make no promises, but I will help where I can. But it all comes with a price as does everything in life, and that is to allow me to buy you lunch."

Katie stood there trying to decide whether to cry or laugh, and in the end did both. "You mean it; you really, really mean it?

I smiled and nodded. "Ohhh boy! I mean ok; if that's the price I have to pay, although I'm flat ass broke, I think I can definitely afford that. Both my grey cells have finally found each other and they're telling me that I'd be stupid to pass up an offer like this. Yes Jeffery Summers, I'd be delighted to have lunch with you."

After the waitress left from bringing our meals, Katie sat staring at hers, "Ohhh god! I haven't had lobster in years; I hope I'm not drooling all over my Sunday best." Picking up her wine she sniffed its bouquet. "I know it's just temporary but I've missed this as well. I see you remember my favourite wine. The chateau cardboard is the only wine I can afford of late, and it is so over rated."

"I saw an article in the paper the other day, there was a picture of you and a tall leggy blonde. Was she the date you were waiting for yesterday? She certainly is beautiful!"

I smiled at Katelyn's attempt to find out about my love life. "Yes, that was Dana. She's ok, your atypical blonde. She could find her ass with both hands and a map, but she certainly helps with the functions I attend from time to time."

Katelyn sat a peered at me for some time. "That's not the Jeffery Summers I know and love! Did I do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make you cynical. In all the years I've known you Jeffery, you have never denigrated anyone for their appearance of mental acuity."

I toyed with my meal for a while before answering. "I suppose you did. Being lied to, laughed at, and generally shit on by the one person you thought was your rock has a way of destroying your faith in humanity."

"Bullshit Jeff! While I agree that I have most likely destroyed your faith in women, and especially wives. I can't see it flowing over to humanity in general. Not if what I read in the paper is of any account. You're spokesperson for how any charities? You can't be that jaded and be a leader of charities like you are. So as I stated, bullshit!"

I smiled. "Getting a little cocky, aren't we?"

Katelyn smiled right back at me. "I know when I'm wrong, I know when I have to eat crow. But I'll be damned to cower for reasons not of my making! I'm sorry for making your personal life a misery, and I'll apologise for screwing up your faith in the female gender until I die but I won't back down if I know I'm right, and I am right here!"

Katie and I spent our lunch chatting and generally getting to know each other all over again. "I don't want to mislead you, but this doesn't mean that there's any chance that we'll get back together."

Katie smiled, "I know Jeff and I wouldn't expect you to want me ever again. I'll be happy with what I have, it's so much more than I ever hoped for and definitely more than I deserve. Thank you for all your compassion; you always were a good man; I just forgot that for awhile."