Semper Fi Pt. 01

**********

Fully dressed again after her physical exam, her heart pounding wildly even though she had tried to remain calm, Caitlyn sat across the desk from her doctor.

On the wall behind him was a huge colored chart of the female reproductive system, showing a baby cozily upside down in the womb, sucking his thumb. She could hardly take her eyes from that little baby.

"Well, Caitlyn, you definitely are pregnant." He consulted his file. "I believe you're about six or seven weeks along."

"I know."

"Now, if we can fix the time of your last ovulation, we should be able to approximate when conception occurred and project a due date."

"I know exactly when this baby was conceived," she said. "It happened on the third weekend of March."

The doctor looked at her over the rims of his reading glasses. "How can you be so sure of that date?"

"Because that weekend was the first time I'd had sex in three years."

"Are you still seeing him?"

"Why does that matter?"

He set down his pen, removed his glasses and rubbed his temples. His face without glasses looked tired, somehow older. "I'm interested in your overall welfare. You're more than just a woman and her womb."

Caitlyn nodded, trying to relax and be less defensive. "No, I'm not."

"And you're not interested in seeing him, again?"

"We work together, sometimes," she said, grimly. "But, no, I don't intend on having sex with him anymore."

"But... he's the father."

"He won't be in the picture. It was a mistake, that's all."

"Did you use protection at all?"

"Yes, but it broke." She remembered back to their hurry, breaking two of the condoms in their rush.

"After all that time, I imagine a short affair could result in almost anything. How does he feel about the pregnancy?"

"He doesn't know... and... I'm not going to tell him."

"Don't you want to tell the man he's going to be a father?"

"It has nothing to do with him," Caitlyn said, not really believing it herself. "Does it? I mean, can't I just have the baby on my own, and not..."

"No, I don't think so," the doctor said. "I think it has a great deal to do with him. If a woman happened to be having my child, no matter where or who or under what circumstances, I'd surely want to know."

She fidgeted in her chair.

"Do I have to?"

"In a strictly legal sense, not as far as I know, though I believe some states require notifying the father if you plan to abort or want to give the baby up for adoption."

"But, I'm keeping the baby," she said, "so that's that."

"Still, telling him would be the decent thing to do. Why are you afraid?"

"What if he wants to take the baby away?"

"Cases like that are extremely rare. They usually are because the child has been put up for adoption without the father's knowledge or approval. Your chances of losing the child are next to nothing."

"I still feel..."

"Does he live here?"

She nodded her head. "He works for the government. We worked on the "Lonely Hearts" murders, together."

"I see." He put his fingers together. "Well, that's going to be up to you, of course. Now... let's discuss the realities of this pregnancy, shall we?"

"Do you think I'm too old to be having a baby?"

"No, although I'd have liked to see this with you five, six years younger..."

**********

Chapter 8 Fools Rush In, Ricky Nelson

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread
And so I come to you my love
My heart above my head
Though I see the danger there
If there's a chance for me then I don't care
Fools rush in where wise men never go
But wise men never fall in love

"Call him," Garrett mumbled around a mouthful of barbecued Thai pork.

Caitlyn shoved her Oriental noodles and shredded vegetables around with her chopsticks and shook her head quickly. "No."

"Look," Garrett said, frowning deeply. "I understand your concerns but I think you're overreacting a little."

"Well, I don't," Caitlyn snapped back. Usually she enjoyed eating at this restaurant but today the smells of fish, pork and spices mixed with the strong smell of dishwashing soap made her slightly nauseated. She pushed her bowl away and took a sip of diet soda. "Can we not talk about this? All I want to do is forget about him and get on with my life."

"It's been two months," Garrett said, quietly. "Have you forgotten about him? I don't think so."

"I could if you'd stop talking about him all the damn time," Caitlyn lied. She hadn't been able to put Frank out of her mind for a single moment but she had no intention of admitting that to Garrett. She took another drink of soda but it landed in her stomach like a rock. "I need to get back to work," she said, desperate to change the subject. "Are you finished with your lunch?"

He looked at his dish. "We just got our food." As if to make his point, he took another bite and gestured toward Caitlyn's. "You're not eating again?"

"I'm not hungry."

"If you'd get rid of some of that stubborn pride of yours and talk with him, you'd get your appetite back."

"If I don't, maybe I'll lose a few pounds." She brushed her hair back over her shoulder. "I'm serious, Garrett. I want to forget the whole thing." She would forget about him... she'd be able to sleep again and she'd get her appetite back... eventually.

Garrett took another bite of his lunch and shook his head while he chewed. "I've never seen anybody so determined to be unhappy."

"I'm not determined to be unhappy." Caitlyn tried to keep her voice low so they wouldn't disturb the other diners.

Garrett lowered his chopsticks. "And maybe it's escaped your notice but you've gone to such great lengths to keep yourself from being unhappy that you've made yourself exactly that."

He lowered his voice. "You think that by avoiding Frank, by locking yourself away, you're going to prevent heartache. But don't you see..." he reached for her hand, "...whether or not you're with him, you'll still feel everything. You can't hide your emotions, Caitlyn. Wouldn't you rather do it with the man you love than because you're lonely?"

The truth of that hit Caitlyn in her soul. Her hand began to tremble and her heart thudded dangerously in her chest.

"You know what you should do?"

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me."

Garrett put his napkin onto the table. "I think you're right. You should put Frank completely out of your mind and get involved with someone else."

"Not interested." She folded her own napkin, left it beside her nearly full bowl and slipped a tip onto the table. "And I meant what I said earlier. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Fine. Have it your way. Be alone forever if that's what you want." Garrett stood up and led the way out of the restaurant. Caitlyn pulled in a deep breath of fresh, clean air mixed with exhaust fumes and tar from a nearby road construction site. Her queasy stomach returned and she started to cry. She couldn't believe how stupid she had been.

**********

"Call for you, Frank. It's that detective from Oceanside."

Carlson sat up straight. "Caitlyn?"

"No, the other one, Garrett. Line three..."

"Carlson, here. Hello, Garrett, what can I do for you?"

"You can start by telling me what you did to Caitlyn. Ever since..."

"I didn't do anything."

"She's worthless since you left. If you say you didn't do anything, why is she so messed up?"

"I don't know. She broke it off with me. I kept calling and calling and she kept putting me off so I quit. I thought we had something but I guess I was wrong."

"Look, something's not right, here. Here's what we're going to do..."

That evening, two men sat in their Malibu watching Hennessey's parking lot. As the almost silent sound of the camera was stilled, with a mutual nod, they drove out of the lot and back south.

**********

Garrett looked up from his desk as Caitlyn walked in. "There's a meeting for all these "Lonely Hearts Murders" this afternoon at Pendleton. We have to be there at two."

"You go... I'm... uh, not feeling very well," she responded, hand to her stomach.

"Oh, no, you don't. You're the lead on this case and they're going to expect some kind of update."

"There's no update, Garrett. What do you want me to say? 'Hey, guys, stupid bitches keep cheating and getting killed, thanks for your attention.'"

"Don't give me a bunch of crap, Caitlyn. Just get your shit together. We're leaving in about half-an-hour." Garrett went back to his computer. He was clicking through his emails but she didn't need to know that.

When the two detectives arrived at Pendleton, they were escorted to a meeting room. "I've got to go to the bathroom," Garrett said, leaving the room. A moment later, Frank walked in and closed the door.

"Caitlyn..." he said.

"Frank... uh, how've you been?"

"You know damn well how I've been. Why did you break up with me? I thought we had something."

She sat down, destroyed in her heart. How could she explain she played hard to get because her friend said it was a good idea?

"I'm sorry, Frank... I was stupid... I listened to the wrong people."

"The wrong people? What about us? I..." Frank turned toward the door. "What is it you want, Caitlyn? I gave you my heart and you threw it away."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I, Caitlyn. When this is over, I'm transferring away." He turned around and left the room. Caitlyn put her head down and cried, her heart destroyed once again.

"Don't go," she whispered, "please, don't go. I'm having your baby."

Damn it, he thought, it wasn't supposed to be like this. He quickly left the building before someone could see the tears streaking his face.

**********

"Jesus Christ, I can't believe it!" Garrett Brinkley dropped his candy bar and looked at his partner, Caitlyn Bradford, sitting in their unmarked car. "How the..." he was starting to ask but then was quiet.

"It was an accident, I guess. It must have broken." She wiped a tear and looked out her window at the latest crime scene, another "Lonely Hearts" murder.

"What's he going to do?"

"I haven't told him."

"You're fuckin' kiddin' me. Caitlyn... he deserves to know." Garrett couldn't believe her. Whatever hold Frank had on her had ruined his partner and he didn't like it. He needed her at her best and she'd been anything but...

Garrett squeezed the steering wheel in anger... in anger for the situation... in anger for what she had done, was still doing... in anger for what Frank had done. And, damn it, they still hadn't caught the killers and probably weren't going to.

"Garrett, I'm sorry..." she began, "but he's going to leave when this is over and there's no reason to tell him. I don't want him to stay just because of the baby."

"How the hell do you think he's going to react when he finds out?"

"What?"

"When he finds out... how do you think he's going to react?"

"You're not going to tell him, are you?"

Garrett noticed her hands were shaking and that was what he was afraid of. She had lost her edge and had retreated, deferring to him in everything... and, he didn't like it. He needed her to be at the top of her game and right now, there was no game, at all.

"No," he said, quietly, "I'm not... but, he'll find out, anyway. He'll find out, no matter what you do. You're too well known, now."

A few minutes later, after she had collected her thoughts, they left the car and walked over to yet another motel room. Inside, a familiar scene presented itself to them: a dead cheating military wife, a dead lover and no clue to the killer.

"Any security video?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, the camera was taken out by a damn good shot. Nobody heard anything."

"Whoever did it policed the brass, as usual. I wonder why they opened the door." She looked at Garrett, wondering if he had an answer.

"I don't think they did. I think somebody picked the lock, somehow. It's one of those keycard locks. I..."

To be continued...