September Blue

© 2016 Chloe Tzang. All rights reserved. This story or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a review.

Hope you enjoy my entry for the 2016 Halloween story competition. Three comments before you start reading the story: (1) it's not a one-page jerkoff story (are any of my stories ever? - and if you haven't read one of my story's before, the answer is "no"), (2) please note (given the category I've submitted this in) that while the protagonists are not biological siblings, the relationship retains that "forbidden" aspect with regard to the emotional side of a brother-sister relationship which I hope readers will enjoy and (3) if you can, listen to Chris Rea and "September Blue" while you're reading. It was the song that gave me the idea for this story and for me at least, it matches the mood of the story so well. All that aside, I hope you enjoy, especially given that this is my first foray into this category..... Chloe

It's just that I would rather be with you now
And every time I see that star
I will say a prayer for you
Now and forever September blue
'coz I'll always love you
September blue
September Blue, Chris Rea

"Exams 're over, Ashlee. Any idea what do you want to do over summer?" Dad was looking across the table at me, his eyes holding the sadness that had been there for six months now. "I can line you up a summer job working for Bob if you like, that'd be good experience for you before you go off to College."

I took a small bite of my toast, stirred the poached egg that sat on my plate with my fork. Nausea rose just from looking at it.

"Are you feeling okay, Ashlee?" Mom was looking at me now as well.

God, not now. Please, no. Sweat beaded my forehead. I was going to throw up, I knew it. I pushed my chair back, bolted for the washroom. Made it just in time to get my head over the bowl before my stomach heaved. That glass of milk and those fragments of toast came right back up.

"Ashlee, what's wrong dear?" Mom was there, beside me, her arm around my shoulder as I heaved and heaved, nothing coming up now from my empty stomach but bitter bile. It'd been days since I'd managed to eat anything substantial but there was no hunger in me, no desire for food, just emptiness. The tears came. Always the tears. Crying. I was crying again, sobbing uncontrollably as the residual bile burned my throat. Mom was there beside me, wiping my face, giving me a glass of water to rinse out my mouth.

"It's okay, Ashlee. It's okay. We know, we miss him too. We all miss him so much." Mom was crying now too, her misery reflecting mine.

"Mom ... Mom." I buried my head against her shoulder, welcoming her arm around me, shaking, knowing I'd have to tell her. I'd have to tell Mom and Dad soon. This wasn't something I could hide much longer. Something I'd wanted to share with them. Something that I feared sharing with them. Feared? I was terrified.

This was one secret I wasn't going to be able to keep for much longer. This week. Next week. The week after. It was all going to come out. There wasn't any point in not telling them, not now, but what would they say? I dreaded their reaction. Dreaded? I was terrified.

Mom hugged me closer. "I know dear, I know, we all miss Ryan so much. We all loved him but he's gone, we have to accept that, we have to mourn him and put it aside and go on to live our own lives, honey. I'm so sorry..."

I knew how hard it was for Mom to say that. Ryan was her son, hers and Dad's. Me, I was adopted. They'd adopted me when I was a baby. Rescued me from an orphanage in China. They loved me, I knew, but Ryan had been really theirs. Their only son. Medical complications. Mom couldn't have more babies after Ryan and she'd wanted a girl so much, so her and Dad, they'd adopted me. They loved me just as I loved them, but Ryan was truly theirs.

"It's not that, Mom, it's not. I miss Ryan, I miss him so much...."

"I know you do, honey, I know you do...we all do."

"I'm going to have a baby." It just came out if my mouth. Out of nowhere.

"You will dear, you will." Mom hugged me.

"No, I mean, I am, Mom. I'm going to, I'm pregnant." I needed to throw up again. Heaving and heaving, but nothing came. I sagged back against the wall, panting, sweat trickling down my face. Mom's face filled my vision, suddenly so startled and shocked. She was going to hate me for what I'd done, I knew. I was so scared. So frightened. But there wasn't anything else I could do. Not now. It was already starting to show, I couldn't hide it, not for much longer. Another week or two maybe. Not any longer. It was already six months. I'd hidden what was happening to me for this long to make sure there was no going back. None.

"Ohhhh Ashlee." Mom's arm was around me again, holding me so close. Her other hand stroking my head so gently. "It's okay, honey. It's okay, really. These things happen Ashlee. We're your Mom and Dad, whatever happens, okay honey. We love you and we're here for you. We're always going to be here for you, no matter what."

I started to cry again, scared, relieved, still sick at heart. That was only part of it. I needed to tell Mom the rest. I needed to tell her everything.

"Mom, the baby." I buried my head in Mom's shoulder, sobbing, heart pounding. I had to tell her. I had to tell someone, I couldn't hold the knowledge inside my head, alone, not anymore. Not now. "It's Ryan's."

Dizzy. Falling. Blackness. Nothing...

God, this was so frustrating. Jen was going to be here any second and I couldn't find my new panties. I'd bought them last weekend at the Outlet Mall down the road to tease Lee with, tucked them away in the back of my lingerie drawer and now, when I wanted them, I couldn't find them. I really wanted to wear those new g-string panties tonight, I'd never worn a g-string before and I just knew it'd do things for Lee when he found out what I had on under my costume. Just buying it had done things for me. Where was it? I knew I'd put it in here. Found it! The opposite end of the drawer, tucked down the bottom. I must've remembered wrong. Slip into them, slide into my jeans and a t-shirt, no bra, race downstairs. Smiling, knowing that Lee was on a hot date tonight. He just didn't know it yet.

"You off, Ashlee?" Ryan looked up as I walked past the family room.

"Yeah, date with Lee tonight, going to a Halloween party." I gave my big bro a happy smile. He was home for the weekend. I'd missed him a lot after he moved away to go to College out of state. Wasn't telling him that though, it'd go to his head.

"That dude Lee, he's a total loser. All he wants to do is party. You shouldn't date him, Ashlee." Ryan's disapproval was blatantly obvious. It always was when it came to the guys I dated. Always had been. He wasn't nasty about it or anything. Just, he never thought any of them were good enough for me.

"It's okay, Ryan, really." I smiled. "Honestly, big bro, you worry too much, we're all going to the party together, it's not just him and me, okay. Erika and Jenny and their dates are coming too. Jenny's driving. Satisfied now? Anyhow, I go out with him all the time when you're not home."

Ryan shook his head. "Still don't think you should go with Lee. Those parties he goes to get pretty wild. I don't like that guy."

I tossed my hair back. "Ryan, don't do the big brother thing on me, okay, I'm a big girl now. Anyhow, you don't like anyone I date, you never have. And I heard all about the parties you used to go to before you went off to College, okay. You dated a couple of my friends, remember. I know all about you, Ryan, you bad bad boy."

He grinned. "That's different, I'm a guy."

"Huh." As if that should make a difference.

"What're you wearing anyhow? And hey ... where's your bra? You can't go out like that."

"Hey, my bra's none of your business, bro. And I'm not showing you my costume, you'd just be rude about it." I didn't really have a parental envelope with my clothes, Mom and Dad were okay with whatever I wore. Ryan's envelope was a lot more conservative than Mom and Dad's. He really didn't like my micro-miniskirts. When he lived at home I used to wear them just to see how riled up I could get him before I went out on a date. He'd watch me and watch me and watch me with this disapproving look on his face. Sometimes I'd flash my panties at him just to see how disapproving I could get him to be. I didn't do that now though. I was wearing jeans.

He laughed. "Okay, okay, show me when we all get home tonight." He looked at the clock. "I better run, meeting a couple of the guys, got our own Halloween Party to get to."

"Where's yours?"

"No idea, some buddy of Dave's."

"So what're you wearing?" I smiled.

"No idea, Dave was picking up the costumes. Anyhow, you have fun, baby sis, just stay out of trouble and make sure that dude keeps his hands where they should be."

I giggled. "As if. I never get into trouble. You know that bro, I'm a good girl. Not like you!" I liked Lee, I liked him a lot. He was probably going to get what he normally got, a kiss and a good feel, although I'd been thinking about giving him more. Hey, that's why I'd bought that g-string. Hmmmmmm. Well, I'd be staying out of trouble but we'd see what Lee got tonight. I wasn't drawing any hard lines.

His phone buzzed, he gave it a quick look. "My ride's here. You keep it that way, sis. See you later." And he was out the door.

"What costume did you get, Ashlee?" Erika's voice floated through the open doorway. She was busy doing her makeup.

"You'll see when you make it out of your bathroom." Jenny and I grinned at each other. Erika always took longer than the rest of us. Every time. Lee was downstairs waiting with Cody. We were picking up Erika's boyfriend, Bryce, on the way to the party.

"Think my costume's okay, Jen?" Okay, I was nervous. This was my first "allowed out on a date" Halloween Party. Last year, I'd been seventeen. Mom and Dad's rules. I'd had to bring my date to the party they were going to. That'd been so sucky. My costume last year had been sucky too. Mulan. For goodness sake, I'd been a walking cliché.

Tonight. Eighteen. Allowed out. Freedom. I'd picked my own costume. Online. Hot witch. And okay, it might be clichéd but it was my pick and it was hot hot hot. Delivered to Jen's. Her parents were a lot more tolerant than mine.

"Ashlee, your costume's hot." Jenny was emphatic. "Your big problem's gonna be keeping Lee's hands out from under. It's well, ah, that skirt's short and the rest of it sure it shows a lot."

Now I did smile. I'd wanted something hot and sexy. My costume was all of that. Rather more than I'd intended, to be honest, especially combined with those fishnet thigh-highs and my new g-string panties. The top was maybe a little bit too sheer for no bra as well. You could tell I wasn't wearing one. Easily. That costume had looked good on the web page. Wearing it, I kind of thought I better stick close to Lee tonight. Not that I was shy or anything, but this costume showed of rather a lot of me and I wasn't intending on asking for trouble. Now Lee trying it on with me? That was another story and a problem I didn't mind having.

Lee tried it on, but he never pushed it too hard. Not hard enough that I got annoyed with him anyhow. He always pushed though. I liked it that he pushed, it was fun stopping him after a while. Tonight, hmmm, maybe I'd let him push a little further. How far though, that was the question. I wasn't sure. I mean, he wasn't getting a home run. A good long feel, sure. I liked that. I liked his hand inside my panties a lot, he was good at driving me crazy and I loved how his hand made me feel. But I hadn't made up my mind yet whether he was going to be that first special guy or not. I was tempted, but definitely not yet. Not until I was sure.

Maybe a blowjob though? All my friends gave their boyfriends those. I kind of thought I might be the only holdout out of all my friends. A blowjob then? That'd keep Lee happy for a while and it might be fun. I liked Lee. Okay, maybe he was a party animal but I got the feeling that he really liked me although he'd never said so. He wasn't much for the emotional stuff but what guy was? He did take good care of me when we were out at parties though. I'd been thinking for a while about letting things between us move that step further. Maybe not all the way, but giving him a blowjob seemed like a good compromise for now. One that I thought I might enjoy. It'd stall him on trying for a home run for a while longer as well. I smiled. Yeah, why not?

"What're you thinking, Ashlee? You've got that look." Jen was laughing at me. "Lee getting lucky tonight?"

Now I giggled. "Ewwwww, not at a party. Forget it." Although if we found a quiet corner, I was pretty sure now that I was going to give him that blowjob. I wondered what it was really like. Guess I'd find out.

"Come on, guys. What're we waiting for?" Erika floated out of the bathroom wearing her costume. She was going as a witch as well. We all were. She did look good.

"You," Jen and I chorused, laughing.

"I like it," Erika said, looking me up and down. "Hot, Ashlee, really hot."

"What about mine?" Jen complained.

Erika grinned. "You? You just want to get laid by Cody, that's why you're wearing that."

Jen giggled. "Yeah, so?"

"Come on, come on," I complained, "let's get to the party. I wanna dance."

"Okay, okay." We were off. Party time!

Outside the house, Jenny waved her keys. "You're leaving your cars here guys, I'm designated driver, okay. So you all can drink as much as you like. Except for you, Cody. You're on notice, we've got things to do after we drop everyone off." She giggled. Cody grinned. Well, we all knew Cody was scoring home runs with Jen. Like, Erika and I got the details next day. Jen was good at sharing.

"Okay! We're good. Let's go." Lee was smiling at me. Guess he liked my costume too.

I gave him a big smile back. This was gonna be a fun night. Dancing. Making out. And then there was that blowjob. Oh yeah! This was one Halloween Party I was totally looking forward to.

You could tell this was going to be a good party just standing outside. First up, you could hear the wails and groans from the street. The front lawn was a cemetery. The house was just downright spooky. The garage doors were open, a giant mouth with jagged teeth. A huge spider hanging from the roof, skeletons peering from the front porch, jack-o-lantern lights flickering. Scary. Halloween scary. Somebody had done an amazing job.

"Hey, this is so cool." Erika was looking at the house as we stood outside.

"Yeah, this is Bernie's." Lee was holding my hand, smiling, pulling a bottle of Jack Daniels out of one pocket, letting go of my hand to unscrew the cap, take a swig from it, offer it to me. I shook my head, looked at him. He laughed, put the bottle back in his pocket. "It's a party, Ashlee."

"Yeah, doesn't mean you need to get yourself hammered to early," I said. "You can do that after Jen drops us off home."

He just grinned. Oh well, I had my ride so it didn't really matter that much. Except I wouldn't be giving him that blowjob if he was too drunk. No way. I wasn't telling Lee that though. We walked inside to a wall of noise, more Halloween decorations and a couple of guys handing out masks.

"Everybody's gotta wear one," one of them yelled, handing each of us a domino mask that covered half your face. Cool. Lee and I grinned at each other, filtering our way further into the crowded house. With masks on, it was almost impossible to tell who was who. Not that I was worried. Lee was enough security for any girl. God help anyone that took him on. Most of the time he was so easy going and laid back he was just about horizontal, but if you pushed him...

"Dance," I yelled to Lee.

"Sure," he yelled back and then we were. Lee was good on the dance floor, one of the things I liked about him. There were lots of things I liked about Lee and he wasn't dating anyone else, even though our relationship over the last few months had been pretty casual. Erika and Jen were both asking me when we were going to do the official boyfriend girlfriend thing instead of just dating off and on. I'd shrugged. I wasn't pushing Lee and he wasn't pushing me. If we did that boyfriend girlfriend thing there'd be expectations. I wasn't so big on those.

I mean, I was going away to Colleg next year, I wasn't that serious about Lee. He was at College here and I'd be going away, probably to the same College Ryan went to. And as for guys, there'd be lots of guys to meet at College. I wasn't to intent on going out with one guy, not right now. Of course I'd dated one or two other guys, just casual dates, nothing serious. Kissed them, sure. But nothing else. Definitely not like with Lee. Maybe things with Lee would get more serious? We'd see. But there was no rush. Right now, I was just enjoying dating him and making out -- and right now, dancing. And later maybe, making out. Nothing more. Not yet.

"Love your outfit," Lee yelled over the music.

"Thought you might." There was enough room that I could do a little twirl, back into him so we danced with his hands on my hips, his breath hot against the back of my head. I eased myself back a little further, wriggling against him. Smiling as I felt how hard he was. Smiling as his mouth brushed my ear. Seeing a tall guy in a pirate costume eyeing me as he danced with some other girl. Blushing as I realized that almost sheer top was semi-transparent under the strobe lighting, making it clear I wasn't wearing a bra. My face burned under my mask as I twirled back around to face Lee.

Lee smiled, and his eyes weren't on my face. But Lee had seen my boobs before and I had no objection at all to him looking. I smiled back, dancing, my nipples hard now, swollen, pushing that sheer material outwards. Erika and Jen joined us, along with Bryce and Cody, the six of us dancing together, the guys drinking as they danced. I was so totally buzzed and having fun, even taking a couple of sips from Lee's bottle of Jack Daniels. In the end, it was me that asked for a break.

Perched on Lee's knee in a corner, his arm around my waist, my arm around his neck, taking delicate sips from his Jack Daniels, giggling at something he said that I'd forgotten two seconds later. Dancing again, enjoying the music, the movement, dancing with Lee. That bottle of Jack Daniels was close to empty now and I hadn't had more than a few sips. Another break, holding Lee's hand as we threaded our way of the dance floor.

"Let's find somewhere we can make out for a while." Lee yelling in my ear over the music. Parties, music, Jack Daniels, romance.

I giggled. Squeezed his hand. "Sure. Any idea where we can go."

Lee just grinned, led me down the hallway, up the stairs. It was almost as crowded up here as it was down on the main floor. I kind of hoped Bernie had the okay for this, the house was going to be pretty trashed after we were all done. Not that I knew who Bernie was. Small town, but not that small.

The first couple of bedrooms were occupied. The third we peered into wasn't but it also looked like the master bedroom. Lee and I looked at each other. Walked inside. Grinned. Lee flicked the lock on the door, took my hand, led me towards the bed. Seconds later we were sprawled across it, me on my back, Lee beside me, kissing me, his hand unbuttoning my top. When he lowered his head to capture one of my nipples with his mouth I moaned, one hand clutching at his head, arching my back as his tongue made little circles on my skin.