tagHumor & SatireSex and the Krispy Kream

Sex and the Krispy Kream

bySaw That Coming©

I took a road trip over the long weekend to visit my old roommate from college. I got off the highway, and was sitting at a stoplight along a big old high school, when I saw two boys sitting behind a folding table at the curb, in front of an old and vacant parking lot. At first I thought that they were having a car-wash or something, but then I noticed the boxes stacked on the table.

About the same time that I saw the boxes, one of the two high school boys saw me looking at him. He held up a box and yelled, “Hey! You want a Krispy Kream?”

Krispy Kream! I had not heard the name of that delectable doughnut in years! I had forgotten about them entirely. (A Krispy Kream franchise has yet to make it to my neighborhood.) But seeing that box suspended in the air launched me into an instant moment of total recall so vivid, so intense, that I failed to notice that the light had turned green. It was only until the driver behind me honked angrily that I snapped out of it.

The last time that I had the sweet taste of Krispy Kream in my mouth, I was still in college, still dating my ex-boyfriend. I was also in a car then; his this time; and we were on our way to a movie; one that I didn’t particularly care to see. We passed a Krispy Kream store and my boyfriend quipped, “Man, I love those more than sex!”

“Is that so?” I asked, never having had one – and slightly more than perturbed by the inference.

When he nodded, all wide eyed and innocent, I said, “I don’t believe you.”

“Well,” he said, “It’s true.”

“A doughnut is better than sex?” I asked again, giving him one last chance to back away from this ridiculous stance.

“Well, better than sex with you anyway.” He said.

I couldn’t believe he said it. “You’re an ass.” I said.

“Sorry.” He said laughing. “You just don’t compete.”

It was a stupid thing to say. He was always putting me down like that.

I was always too tall, to skinny, not pretty enough. I knew that he thought he was being funny. But he was really just being a pig-headed jerk. Like always.

So I sat silently and simmered for a while.

He noticed after a while.

“Have you ever had one?” He asked, trying to give me a baleful stare and drive safely at the same time, and failing at both tasks. It was a very weak attempt at getting off the sex topic.

“No. I haven’t.” I said honesty. Then an idea occurred to me. “Let’s go get one.”

“What about the movie.” He asked, already getting upset at the idea of missing his ‘war-flick’.

“Hey, Mister ‘I-love-them-more-then-sex’ if they are as good as you say, you would think that you would want one more than seeing a dumb movie. Or are you backing away from your product endorsement?”

“OK, you’ll see.” He said surrendering, and pulling a quick ‘U’ turn.

While he was in the store ordering, I excused myself to go the ladies room. We got back into the car and he wanted me to open the box. “Not yet,” I said. “Let’s have them at the park.”

We drove to a small wooded area just off campus and he parked at the far end of the lot.

Even before he had the ignition turned off I was sitting on his lap, facing him. “What’s up?” He asked. “I thought we were here to have some doughnuts.”

“Oh no,” I said. “We are here to conduct a scientific experiment.”

“A scientific experiment?”

“Yes,” I said. “A controlled experiment to test the validity of your statement.”

“My statement?” He said, still not getting it.

“Yes. Your statement these donuts are better than sex.” And before he could open his mouth to complain, I planted a kiss on his mouth and lifted my skirt to reveal my missing panties.

“Hey! Where did your panties go?” He asked when we broke our kiss.

“Into my purse.” I answered. I had removed them in the Krispy Kream bathroom. “Now are you going to chat all evening long, or are you going to fuck me?”

He unzipped and I helped pull his jeans to his ankles. He triggered the lever under the driver’s seat and pushed the seat back all the way down. It gave us just enough room. I pushed his underwear down toward the gas peddle too. He was already hard.

I lowered myself to him and felt his slick cock pushing into me. He wrapped his arms around me and grabbed my ass with both hands. As I thrust myself harder against him he said, “God, that’s good!”

“Ummm,” I agreed. “It is.”

Then I picked a Krispy Kream out of the box and put it to his mouth. “Bite.” I said. He took a bite and I licked the sugar from his lips. I gave him a second bite and fucked him harder as he savored the taste of the doughnut and the feeling of my pussy wrapped around his cock.

Then I took the doughnut and had a taste myself. I could not have been more surprised. It was delicious.

He picked up the pace and started pounding into me. “Oh, oh, oh!” I started to moan.

“Do you love it?” He yelled.

“I love it!”

“Do you want it bad?”

“I want it so bad!” I yelled.

“Tell me!” He shouted in a horse whisper, on the verge.

“That’s the best fucking doughnut that I’ve ever had in my life!” I yelled.

I quickly popped open the driver’s side door and crawled off of him. I slammed the door on him. Then I stuck my head back into the window and gave him a kiss. “I’m sorry,” I said sweetly. “You were right. That doughnut is a lot better than sex.”

I turned and started walking away. “Better than sex with you, anyway.” I said yelling over my shoulder, as I headed back to my dorm.

“You come back here!” He yelled, still trying to get his pants back up.

“I never want to see you again.” I hollered back. I walked away and didn’t bothering giving him another look. I never saw him again.

But I still have this thing for Krispy Kream’s.

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