Sex is a Job Description? Ch. 06

The meeting started out with the Director sending a few agents out to round up all the people needed to attend it. Tom found that a very large number of people had been called to the meeting, and they all squeezed into the conference room that was normally used to these kinds of events.

Agents from the Tenth, Twelfth, and Thirteenth divisions were also present, their insignias clearly visible on their collars. Once everyone was found and rounded up, the Director poured himself a glass of Scotch and cleared his throat.

"So you've all been gathered today to take a survey for the Department of Internal Affairs, specifically, for our sixteen special divisions. Several groups like yours have been gathered across the United States today to take this survey at exactly the same time to prevent cheating or sharing of questions. There will be no electronic messaging device usage during the survey and you will not be allowed to leave the room for any reason save for an emergency once you begin the survey."

"Alright, I think that just about sums up everything that needs to be said," said a man turning around with several stacks of paper in his hands. "I'm Agent Anderson Franks from the Department of Internal Affairs. Please complete and fill out this survey to the very best of your ability and return it to me once you're finished. I've provided pens for you and I'm very glad you've all decided to take this survey for us in Washington."

He walked around the long table and handed everyone a stack of papers stapled together that looked about a thick as a novel. Tom filled out the first page, which was general information you might see on a form to get a driver's license. Simple and plain enough. However, when he flipped to the second page, he started seeing weird questions.

What is your sexual orientation? Would you be comfortable having more than one sexual partner at a time? How many sexual encounters have you had in the past six months? The past year? How satisfied are your partners after sexual encounters on a scale from one to ten, ten being very satisfied and one being not satisfied? (Be Honest)

He gave Veronica a glance and he held up fingers to show what number he meant to ask about. She looked at the paper and then back at him with a smirk. She held up ten fingers and winked. Tom bit back a grin and nodded, writing down his answer.

Even with the strange questions in the beginning, some of them were just out of place or vague. Do you have a religion? If so, how religious are you on a scale from one to ten, ten being very religious and one being not at all religious? Are you afraid of cows, bulls, or other bovine animals? Do you get skin rashes when in hot environments? Do you feel cold at generally warm temperatures?

The number and strangeness of questions only rose from there, and by the time Tom was through with all thirty four pages of the survey, he was not only confused, but completely baffled by the meaning to the survey. Agent Franks came around and collected his survey, rifling through a few pages and circling some of his answers with a red pen.

After everyone was done, he thanked them for their cooperation and left without any explanation or reasoning for the questions. All eyes then turned to the Director, who shrugged, having taken a survey himself and seemingly not understood it either.

"I have no idea what this was for. It's not the first time something like this has happened, though." He turned to Veronica and gave her a disapproving look. "You and the boy need to stop screwing around, and don't try to deny it. I know exactly what happened last night. Only a blind hog could miss that look you gave him when he answered number thirteen."

Veronica smiled at him. "Yes sir," she said. Tom only nodded when the Director glanced at him. The present parties were about to leave after some small talk, but Agent Franks returned as they were standing and looked at them like they were stupid.

"No, no sit back down. We're not done yet." Everyone sat back down.

Agent Franks handed back the surveys with numbers written on them in bright red on the front. Tom took a look at his and saw '214' in big red ink next to his name. Agent Franks cleared his throat and looked around.

"Will everyone with a number between two hundred and three hundred please leave the room." At first, nobody wanted to stand up, and Veronica raised her hand.

"Yeah, what does N/A mean? Do I stay or go?"

Agent Franks nodded toward the door. "You go with the others." At that point, Tom stood up and left with the others who didn't have the right numbers and left the room. However, outside there was another agent who ushered them down the hallway into another, smaller conference room. Here, several agents from a few other divisions were sitting at a table with several small pill bottles in front of the seats, each with a single pill in them.

Tom looked at the end of the table and found Greg and Hervey each trying to balance a pill on the tip of their nose. The agent immediately gravitated to his closest friends and they each glanced at him as he approached.

"This isn't what it looks like," Greg said, pointed at Harvey. "He is not acting silly."

"I'm winning," Harvey declared as Greg's pill started to tilt.

"Is everyone from the other room here?" asked the agent that had brought them into the room. They looked around and nodded, and he gave Greg and Harvey a disapproving look. "If you'd be so kind as to quit screwing around with a multi-million dollar device, I could let you all leave in a few minutes."

Greg and Harvey took their pills and set them on the table. The agent didn't look very pleased, but continued anyway. He told the gathered agents to swallow the pill and call a number on a card that each person was given and told not to lose if anything went wrong or they got violently ill within the next twenty days.

With a few hesitant glances at 'violently ill', everyone swallowed their pill and were then let go with the explanation that they had been given the rest of the day off. Tom got a jump from Veronica at her house and drove home, having absolutely nothing to do on this particular Saturday.

He spent the greater part of his Saturday watching TV and snacking. Before he knew it, it was getting late and he was getting hungry again. He cooked a pizza in the oven, showered, and went to bed after receiving a very odd phone call from Allen in Division Thirteen. That guy was actually starting to creep Tom out. All he ever did was ask about Ceria like he was in love with her or something.

How any creature in Heaven or Hell or anywhere in-between could actually like that demon was beyond Tom, so he tried not to dwell on it as he fell asleep in his comfortable, warm bed.

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Something like a door slamming woke Tom from his sleep. He sat straight up, groggy and confused, scrabbling around for the gun on his nightstand. He found it and pulled the magazine out from under his pillow, sliding the ammunition into the grip easily. He got out of bed and reached behind the headboard for the claymore mounted on the side facing the wall.

After finding out that Tom's original claymore had been broken in half at Dùn Fhoithear, Donalbain Kieth had gotten one, a smaller basket-hilt claymore, forged for Tom and mailed it all the way from Scotland with a nice letter about Tom being worthy of any blade forged in the Highland Nation, with a promise of a highland claymore soon to arrive.

But turning his attention back to his potential home invasion defense...

Tom didn't know what it was that had caused such a loud noise, but he sure as hell wasn't going to face it without his sword. A gun was great, but a sword, who fucked with a guy holding a sword in a short hallway? Nobody, that's who.

Tom slowly made his way out of his room and to the stairs, stopping to listen for any noise every few steps. Nothing.

He hadn't been awoken by nothing, so that meant there was someone or something in his house being very quiet. That made this situation twice as dangerous.

He made his way down the stairs, swinging his pistol around the corner as he prepared for someone to jump up half a flight of steps and lunge at him. He quieted his breathing and tried to stop his arms from trembling. He might actually have to kill someone tonight.

He reached the bottom of the stairs and checked to see if his front door was locked. After finding the bolt still locked in the door frame, he moved through the downstairs of his house, quietly sneaking through every room with his gun and sword ready.

Suddenly, light filled his field of vision and blinded him for a moment. He saw something, swung, and found his balance coming out from where it should be as the claymore's heavy blade passed right through what it had struck and stuck fast in his kitchen countertop. Tom collapsed into something wet and cool, and it wrapped around him almost immediately.

He panicked and shot it twice before having his gun stripped out of his hand and his sword removed from his fingers. He fought like an animal, almost getting free of the intruder, but it grabbed him around the neck and yanked him backwards hard, turning him around.

The lights turned on and Tom found himself face-to-face with Sohm, who wore a silly grin on her face. She had one hand holding his wrist, another holding his pistol away from him, one wrapped around his shoulder, and three stuck in his open refrigerator.

"Well hello there," the slime said cheerfully.

"What, the fuck, are you doing in my kitchen at two in the morning?!" Tom growled, earning him a pat on the head from another of her hands.

"I was thirsty, and I wanted another round with you. I haven't met a human with your stamina in a long while, and this milk is just divine, is it not? Where did it come from?" Sohm took the last of the pitchers of Hera's milk out of the fridge and poured it into her body, where it was held in the center of her chest and not absorbed like Tom thought it would have been.

"Sohm, what are you doing?"

The slime ignored his question. "I believe that you like breasts a lot more than you should, am I right?" Her breasts billowed and the milk moved to the center of each large orb.

"What?" Tom asked, his head still whirling in circles over what was going on.

"Or maybe you just like the lactation part..."

"Sohm, come on. It's late. I'm tired," Tom complained, knowing that it was virtually no choice of his to do whatever she had planned.

"Oh? Well at least one part of you is willing to play," she cooed, running a smooth hand across his hard cock through his boxers. "We'll just see how long it takes for us to agree upon what to do. Here, I'll give you a little push in the right direction."

Milk started to well forth from her breasts.

Tom sighed and bit his bottom lip. As enticing as this way, he was really tired and his eyes were still heavy despite the adrenalin rush he'd been having a short while earlier. Sohm, however, just smiled and closed her dark indigo eyes. She hugged him gently to her body and Tom felt something in his body start to grow, some feeling of excitement and arousal.

"Sohm? What are you doing to me?" he asked, wary of the slime's actions.

"Changing your internal chemistry. You should feel good enough to go at least once, if not twice now. I did get the compounds right, didn't I? I think it's epinephrine and serotonin make you humans happy and excited..."

"That's not the point Sohm!" Tom growled, trying to push away from the slime, even as his arousal skyrocketed and he fought to keep his body in line. He stopped his hand from squeezing her large, lactating breast, but only just barely.

The slime's eyes opened and she gave him a questioning look. "Huh? I thought you'd be excited to have me give you a surprise visit. What's wrong?" She set him down on the countertop and rested her torso on his thighs, her chin in her hands.

"You broke into my house and scared the living fuck out of me, that's what's wrong! Jesus, I shot you! I cleaved something off of you with that claymore! I thought I was going to die!"

"Well I didn't really break in. I've been here since I was your case subject..." she said in her defense, avoiding his disapproving glare.

"Really? Really?! And that makes this any better? How much of my life have you been spying on? All of it?" the agent snapped, clenching his jaw in frustration. There was no way he could get her to stop, and he knew she knew that too.

"Not all of it... I don't watch you in the bathroom, or when you leave," she admitted, biting her bottom lip nervously.

"So you just watch me sleep and have sex and everything else? Do you fuck me too when I'm asleep and put me in a chemical coma?" Tom asked, knowing that he was going into the point of ridiculousness.

"Not always..." Sohm replied, unable to meet his eyes.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! That's...I can't even explain how much I want you out of my house right now. Just, why?"

Tom's gaze softened to one of disbelief and Sohm rolled her eyes at him. The agent felt a sharp pain at the base of his neck.

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Sohm rose from his lap and came face-to-face with him, a cruel smile settled on her face. She ran two fingers along the underside of his chin, enjoying the spellbound slackness his features had taken on in recent moments.

"Because you're fucking that bitch that I don't like, and I absolutely cannot stand the fact that you go to her willingly," explained the slime, removing the thin strand of slime from his neck that was busy getting rid of the memories his brain had collected from the past few minutes. She calmed herself down enough to let her thoughts flow evenly again and forced down the desire to go kill that demon.

She wiped the arrogance from her features and smiled warmly, putting her hand on Tom's thighs to give the appearance that she was holding herself up with her arms.

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"So you'll really do it?" Sohm asked, not a foot away from his face. Tom blinked in confusion and tried to make sense of what the slime was asking.

"What?" he managed.

"You'll feed me tonight?" she asked hopefully, her indigo eyes shining.

"Feed you? Wait...were we just in front of the fridge just a second ago?" Tom's head was feeling weird. He could have sworn that Sohm had him against her right next to the refrigerator not two seconds ago.

"You said you'd 'feed' me, hun. Are you alright? You look a little flushed." The slime put her forehead to his and he felt her warmth spread across his forehead.

"It might be because I have a curvy demon trying to seduce me in my own kitchen," Tom replied, giving the slime a wink.

"Oh stop it you, that's too much hitting on for one girl to receive," Sohm said, pushing her chest against his as she spoke. "But some of us demons enjoy being flattered every now and again."

The slime pressed her lips against his and they quickly began to act accordingly. The protests in the back of Tom's mind melted away as his hands slid down her slick, curvy form and rested at the small of her back. The slime adjusted herself and pushed her lower body forward, rising so that she could form legs to put on the countertop.

Her tongue slipped past his teeth easily and encircled his tongue, playing with it as she snuggled into his lap with a toned, long leg on either side of him. Tom pulled her snugly to him and her large chest squashed almost flat against him, making soft, wet noises as they moved against each other.

Tom didn't want to admit it, but she turned him on past the point of just being horny. He didn't know what was going on, but he couldn't help himself. He just wanted to touch and squeeze and fuck for as long as he could. He kissed the slime fiercely, to which she responded by pulling his boxers off of him and grinding herself against his rigid, throbbing arousal.

"Oh my god that's amazing," Tom said, having to break away from their kiss for air. "Jesus that feels too good. What's happening?"

Sohm giggled and Tom suddenly found himself inside of her body. "You're having sex with a slime again. Better than those other girls, huh?" she said, driving herself down on him to emphasize her point.

"No, it's seriously too good. I don't remember it being this good. God it's unbelievable!" Tom breathed, hugging the slime tightly as she put her arms gently around his shoulders and put her hand to the back of his head gently.

"You're close already, aren't you? Go ahead, you're very welcome to cum as many times as you like," she cooed softly, rolling her slick body against him. Tom couldn't believe what he was feeling. He felt hot all over, like he was stuck in a sauna. His mind sprang from one image to the next in moments faster than he could even begin to count.

He didn't know what was going on. It wasn't normal, that was for sure. He couldn't focus on any one thing besides the feeling of Sohm's body for long enough to do anything but thrust against the slime. Something was definitely wrong.

Before he knew it, he was seeing stars in front of his face and his body lit up excitedly with an inner feeling that poured out of him in seconds. He realized that he'd just cum. He couldn't feel the satisfaction in it though, or anything but the orgasm's heightened effects. His vision darkened, but the stars still danced around the darkness.

He felt his cock grind further into Sohm's form and he squeezed tighter to keep her locked against him. He felt like he was going to die from heat exhaustion, but the feeling of her body and the sex and her hands on him kept his body moving harder and harder. He couldn't force himself to lift his head or stop what he was doing.

He tried. He gave an honest, concerted effort, but it all melted away as the slow, hard rhythm of their bodies forced his body and mind back to the same rut he'd been trying to escape. He couldn't speak, so great was the hold his body had on him. He couldn't put two words together to say, but the thoughts in his mind were screaming for his hands to let go on her and his head to rise from her chest and his mouth to say something.

He cringed in sheer astonishment as another orgasm threw his thoughts into disarray.

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"Can you hear me? Tom, hello? I didn't break you, did I?" Sohm's voice asked, barely audible through the ringing Tom's ears. The agent pushed his hand against the ground to right himself, but it just sank into a wet, cool mass.

"Sohm? What's going on?" he asked, resigning himself to lie wherever he was until he had full awareness of himself and his surroundings.

"Your body didn't react very well with mine, well, no; it reacted too well. Those little things I do to heighten the experience for you were magnified by your body and you received a very dangerous dose of the chemicals that make sex so fun. You're in your bathtub cooling off."

"Am I in a bath, or are you just filling up the tub?" asked the agent, having his own suspicions already.

"The fastest way to cool you off was to cool myself off and get inside of you, so the second guess." Sohm's face hovered over Tom's as she looked him over intently with her dark purple eyes. She scanned his features with pensive, calculating glances.

"What?" Tom asked, leaning away from the slime's stare.

"How do you feel? Good enough to stand up?" she asked.

Tom rolled his head from side to side and then up and down. "Yeah, I guess."

Sohm gave him a broad smile and nodded approvingly. She sat up and pulled herself onto the marble corner shelf where she had put herself the first time they'd met. Tom sat up in the bathtub and beads of moisture began to build up all over his body. He looked at Sohm and she held out her hand like she was waiting for it to be kissed.

The beads of moisture condensed into large droplets and made their way to the back of Tom's right hand, which he raised up from the side of the tub. The droplets coalesced into a thin stream of water and bridged the gap between Tom's hand and Sohm's. The slime absorbed the blue liquid and briefly admired something about her hand before turning her attention back to Tom.