Sexting

She was so glad she decided to be a little more trusting.

"Do you have a computer?" she asked.

"Yes."

"There? Like there with you now?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk? Like hear each other's voices?"

"If you like."

"It might be easier than texting all the time."

"It might."

"But you can't see my face."

He hesitated. "Okay. I don't mind you seeing mine, though."

"Maybe. We'll see."

Holly got her laptop and put it on the bed in front of her. She folded the lid forward, pointing the camera quite low, so her feet were showing and some of her legs, but not her waist or chest, and definitely not her face. She put on headphones, so Charlotte couldn't eavesdrop, and checked again where the camera was pointed, then sent him a link so they could chat.

She couldn't see him on the screen, with the lid bent that far down, but she could hear him. Hearing was enough for now. Simon had a nice voice. A soft voice, like he wasn't very used to shouting. Like he didn't have to be loud to get his own way, or didn't mind not getting his own way at all. She liked that, and decided she trusted him more.

"I like your voice," Holly said. It was odd to be speaking.

"I like yours."

"You sound kind."

"You sound smart. And hot."

She sat there for a while. "You're clever," she said. "Saying smart first. That was clever."

Simon sounded like he was smiling. "Thank you," he said.

"Talk to me," she said. "Just talk. Tell me shit. Everything it was too much hassle to say when we were having to type it out."

He did. They talked. They didn't do anything dirty, and she was pretty sure Simon didn't wank. She just sat on her bed, then, after a while lay down, and she talked to him, and he looked at her feet and talked back. They talked about life, and work, and ambitions, and places they wanted travel. About Holly's ex, and Simon's boss, and how well Holly got on with her family, which wasn't very well at all. About the dog Holly had when she was a kid, and how it got run over, and then about Simon's grief at losing his grandfather a year or two ago. They talked for hours, as if once they both knew each other's deepest secret, then sharing the rest of themselves didn't matter.

It was nice, Holly thought. She liked how they were talking.

"I'm going to sleep now," Holly said, eventually. "But we can do this tomorrow if you like."

"I would like."

"And we can go back to normal then too. But it was nice just to talk, for a night."

She closed the laptop lid before he could answer.

*

The next night, they talked again. After an hour, Holly said, "You can if you want to, just go ahead."

"Do you mean...?"

"See to yourself. Attend to matters. Yep."

"What about you?"

"I'll just listen."

He went quiet.

"I'd like to listen," Holly said. "I haven't been able to before now."

"Oh," he said. "Yes, I suppose not."

"So go on," Holly said. "Please."

He did. She assumed he did. She couldn't hear very much, just his breathing getting faster and rougher. Then a couple of groans.

"Are you done?" she said, after a while.

"Oh, yes, I am,"

"Could you show me?" she said.

She heard his microphone crackle, like he was moving his computer. She realized she'd need to move hers, too. She'd need to fold the lid up so she could see what he was showing her.

"Don't look at the screen," she said.

"I'm not."

She tried to put her hand over her laptop's camera, and opened the lid. She looked. His computer was pointed at his lap. It wasn't as tidy as taking pictures on the phone had been, and a couple of minutes had passed, and he'd gone soft and flopped sideways, but she could see him, and see what he'd done. She could see him moving up and down a little, as he breathed.

"You're dripping," she said.

"Shit."

His camera moved suddenly, as if he was reaching for tissues. She pointed her laptop back at her feet, and said, "I'm good. Go clean up."

*

After that, they got into a habit. Simon wanked most nights, while they talked. They just talked until he was ready and then he went quiet and groaned and sighed and got himself off. Usually he looked at Holly's feet on his laptop, and then he showed her himself afterwards. Holly tried masturbating once too, just to try it, but she didn't come very well because she was too embarrassed to use a vibrator in case he heard it, and so only used her hand. She watched him all the way through once, as well. Watching as he did it, not just looking at him afterwards. She made him promise not to look up at her face as he wanked, and he seemed to keep the promise, which made her trust him a little more.

She realized he'd never mentioned pegging again, either, which helped with her trust too.

She trusted him, she decided. She trusted him enough to ask where he was, just to see. She assumed it would be the other side of the country, because it just seemed too unlikely that he'd actually be nearby.

He was nearby. He was in Sydney.

She should have guessed, she supposed. A fifth of the other people in Australia were in Sydney.

She lay there for a moment, after he told her, then said, "So if we met up..."

"Do you want to?"

"Maybe. Would you want to meet up with me?"

"Of course."

"What would we do."

He didn't answer.

"What would you want to do," Holly said. "To me. If I was there in person?"

"I'm not sure I can say it."

"Please?" she said, a little desperately. Saying please the way he'd said it to her a few days ago.

Her phone beeped. She bent down and picked it up. He'd sent her a message. "Wank on your feet," he had written.

She looked at the phone, and at the computer. "Hold on," she said out loud. "I'm texting."

"Just that?" she texted. "Not fuck me?"

"Just that," he texted back. "Unless you wanted to do more."

Holly looked at the computer, and decided it was better doing this with text messages. Better for them both. It felt more private, less like an actual risk of being hurt or refused or rejected.

"More like what?" she sent.

"Anything."

"Like what I told you about?"

"Anything."

"You'd let me do that to you?" she sent, wanting to be certain.

"Well, I can't judge what you like. Not when I like what I do. Especially when I like what I like, if you let me do mine to you."

"What if it hurts you?"

"So we'll be careful."

Holly looked at the message for a moment, then rolled over and got her computer. She pushed the screen up, and put her face in view of the camera. She could see Simon now, see the picture of Simon on her screen. He was sitting in front of his computer, but looking downwards. Looking down, at his phone, in his lap. He looked almost worried.

"Hey," Holly said, and Simon looked up.

He looked up, then jumped, and then turned his head away.

"Careful," he said. "You're on the screen."

"I know. I meant to be."

"Oh."

"You can look."

He did. He looked for a while. "I was right," he said. "All the rest of you looks smart too. And hot."

Holly grinned. She waved, after a moment. "Hi."

He waved back. "Hi."

"So," Holly said. "Want to meet me somewhere?"

"If you'd like to. But only if you'd like to."

"And do my thing? And then do yours?"

Simon nodded.

Holly sat there, thinking. She wanted to meet him. She almost needed to. She needed to do this, to see him in person, now they were talking about it. She needed to do it, and not to wait, either. She needed not change her mind.

"What are you doing right now?" she said.

Simon grinned. "Nothing much."

"I'm probably going to say I want to meet you right now."

"I probably want you to."

"Which shoes?" Holly said suddenly, thinking practically. "Do you care which I wear?"

He flushed, then shook his head. He was looking down at his phone again, as if he was more used to talking to her like that. "It's you," he said. "Not the shoes. I don't care what you wear."

"Oh," Holly said, and then just sat there for a moment. She was going to go, she realized. She was going to let him jerk off on her feet.

She was going to let him jerk off on her feet, and she was going to fuck him with a dildo.

She almost said she was on her way, then she realized, almost heartbroken, that she couldn't. Not right away. Not tonight. She needed to go shopping first.

"Fuck," she said. "I want to, but I'm really sorry. We can't. For mine, I need a..."

Simon looked embarrassed again. "I've got one."

"Oh," Holly said. "You do?"

Simon nodded.

"Have you done this before or something?" Holly said.

"No, just... After you told me, I went and got one. Just..." he stopped.

Holly wasn't sure what he'd been going to say. Just in case. Just to try it out. She wasn't sure, and Simon might not have been either. Either way made her wet. Either made her utterly ache for him, like she couldn't stand to wait any longer.

"Well," he said. "Anyway. I have what we'd need. If that helps."

"It helps," Holly said. She looked at him for a moment, and couldn't stand the waiting any more.

"Where are you?" she said.

He picked up his phone, and held it up, showing her, then texted her his address.

"I'm on the way," Holly said, and closed her laptop lid.

She almost stopped and had a shower and put on makeup and got ready like she normally would to go and fuck someone for the first time. She almost did, but she couldn't wait. And it was really only her feet he'd care about anyway, she supposed, not any of the rest of her. And her feet were done. Her feet were exfoliated and polished and ready, like they had been every night for two weeks. She could rinse them when she got there if she needed to, she decided. But right now, she needed to go. She couldn't wait. She wanted to start. And she didn't want to risk waiting too long, and changing her mind, and never talking to him again, either.

*

"Who first?" Holly said, when she arrived. She was at Simon's front door, on his front steps, standing there in the night.

Simon looked surprised.

"Hi," Holly said. "Don't talk too much, or I'll change my mind. Who goes first?"

"I don't mind."

"I want to," she said. "Be first."

He nodded. "All right."

"Not because I don't trust you," she said. "Not because I think you'll do you thing and then change your mind about mine. Not because doing mine is obviously a bigger deal or something. Not any of that. It's the other way around, actually. I think I'll change my mind if I wait much longer."

"I understand."

"So can we?"

"Come in," he said, and got out her way, and then closed the door behind her. There was a hallway, and a light on in one room. A bedroom, down the far end.

"There's no-one else here, right?" Holly said. She was pretty sure he'd said he lived by himself, but she wanted to made sure.

"No."

"So let's go."

They went into the bedroom. He had a strap on, and a dildo, and lube. Holly had no idea what to do with any of those.

She took off her clothes, because that seemed the simplest way to start. She hardly thought about how she was stripping in front of him for the first time, and usually, she'd have been very aware of that. Feeling bare, or exposed, or wondering how he'd react, just a little. Now, with Simon, she just undressed. He'd already seen all of her that he cared about.

She undressed, then stood there naked, holding the dildo. She really wasn't sure what to do next.

Simon seemed to realize. He asked if he should show her, and then did when she nodded uncertainly. He'd worked it out, he said, fiddling around with it a few nights ago. He showed her. He dressed her, almost. There was a harness around her hips, and between her legs, and a holder that the dildo went into it. He put it in, while she watched, and it pressed against her in a quite a nice way. She was surprised. She hadn't expected that. It was strange having him organize it all for her, but the whole situation was strange. Oddly, though, it wasn't embarrassing. It couldn't be, not any more, not when they both knew each other like they did.

They put the dildo on her, then Simon undressed too, and then they kissed for a little while, while she stood there with the dildo bumping against his leg.

"Can we?" she said. "Are you ready?"

He was, he said. He'd tried it the night before. He seemed unsure how much to say, but seemed to want to ask about what she planned to do. To ask if she had any idea what she was about to try, she supposed, and if she was going to go at him like she'd seen in porn, and hurt him. She said she'd done anal, she'd had it done to her, and she'd be careful. She asked for the lube, and he gave it to her and she smeared it on the dildo, as best she could.

She wasn't really sure where to start, so she kissed him. She kissed him, and that was nice, especially since they hadn't before. There was kissing, and lube, and touching, and she'd seen enough porn of people doing this to have some idea what to do. She kissed him, and held his cock, and then slid her fingers back to his ass, and inside him, and he didn't seem to be uncomfortable, so she kept doing what she was.

After a while, he knelt on the bed, and said he was ready. She kissed him a little more, on his back, but she couldn't quite reach to do anything more than that once she was kneeling behind him. She stroked him, down his spine, and then started.

She watched the dildo go inside him.

She watched the dildo go inside him, and then she watched herself fuck him. It felt different to what she'd expected, doing this. Less sexy, and more mystical. It felt profound. It felt like a gift he was giving her, by letting her try something special to her.

She moved slowly, and took care, and didn't actually put it all the way inside him. She looked at his back, at the way his muscles there tensed. She looked at the way his cock hung down in front of her dildo. She moved, slowly, happy to just be doing this, not especially trying to make anything happen. She could see how the dildo might pleasure her too, if she moved the right way, and faster. She could see, but she didn't try. Tonight wasn't for that, it was for knowing she was doing this.

She knelt there for a while, fucking him, and then thought about doing anal herself, and how pretty soon it could get to be too much to stand.

She slid out slowly, and said, "I think I'm done."

"Are you sure?" he said, in a slightly hoarse voice.

"Yep. Thank you."

"I can a bit longer..."

"No, it's fine. I'm good. I'm really good, thank you."

She stepped back, and he turned around, and showed her how to get the dildo out of the harness. He went into the bathroom, and rinsed it quickly. She took the harness off, and then stood there, waiting for him. He came back, and strangely, she still didn't really feel naked. He looked at her tits, and her legs, but he was mostly looking at her feet, and she was used to Simon staring at her feet by now.

"Okay," she said. "So where? What do I do? And did I say thank you, by the way?"

He smiled. "No, but it's fine. I'm glad to."

"Thank you."

"It's fine."

"So where? Assuming you're kind of impatient too...?"

"On the bed, I suppose."

"Lying down?"

"Whatever's comfortable."

"But lying down?"

He shrugged, so Holly assumed yes, and lay down.

"Do you want me to do myself too?" she said.

"Oh," he said, and seemed to think about that. "Yes, actually. If you don't mind?"

"Of course not."

She lay on the bed, and looked up at him, and masturbated. And he looked at her feet, and masturbated slowly too. It was intimate, she thought, and a little odd, but nothing compared to what she'd just done to him.

She was glad she had first, she thought. She understood what he was probably feeling a little better. It wasn't just kinky or sex or getting off. It was something a little bit more. His face looked like she had felt. Intense, and thoughtful, and lost.

He wanked slowly, and after a while he came. She heard him groan, a groan she already knew fairly well, and she felt hot semen splash onto the side of her foot. She didn't especially notice that, though, because she was concentrating on his face. Now he was coming, he looked ecstatic. He was doing something he'd probably never thought he would, she supposed. Even more so than for her, this moment mattered, because his was somehow different. His was about coming. Hers was more about just trying.

He came, and she lay there for a moment, after he was done, not sure what to do next. Not sure if she was meant to wait a little, and let him look. It seemed not. He got a tissue and wiped her foot, and then went and flushed it in the bathroom.

She sat up, and was a little more aware of being bare, now. She put her knees vaguely in front of her chest, and her arms around her knees. She stayed like that when he came back in to the room, and sat on the edge of the bed beside her.

"So," she said.

"Yeah."

She didn't know what to say, or do. It was awkward.

"I should go," she said.

He nodded, but looked disappointed.

She got dressed slowly, not speaking, not sure what to say. It had been fairly intense, fairly profound, and they weren't even particularly accustomed to being in the same room together. She felt a little awkward. She wondered how to say goodbye, and if she should kiss him, or shake his hand, or what.

That was an odd thing to have to wonder about.

"Thank you," she said. "For that. For letting me try it."

"Same. Really."

Holly hesitated, and had a horrible feeling this was it. That they'd both be too uncomfortable to ever see each other again.

She wanted to say something, to tell him how she felt. She wanted to say something, but she had no idea what.

Then she realized. She knew what to say. She knew how to fix their uncomfortableness. She simply needed to say what she'd always said to him before. What she'd said to tell him she was okay, and that she wanted to do more.

"Tomorrow?" she said.

That was enough. He started to smile.

"Well?" she said. "Do you want to?"

"I do."

"Here?" Holly said. "Like in person? Or on the computer?"

"Either..."

"Seriously?"

"No, here."

"Good," Holly said, and grinned, and opened his front door. "And maybe we could fuck normally this time."

She was thinking of him, and that he might be sore. She was thinking herself and that she'd quite like to come too.

"Yeah," he said, grinning. "Maybe. Sometime. Tomorrow or next week."

"Next week?"

Simon shrugged. "Or tomorrow."

Holly looked at him, and was oddly excited. She wanted to do their odd things a lot more. She wanted to so much that she almost stayed. She would have, but their pattern had worked well for them until now, and she didn't want to spoil it.

So instead she kissed him, and said, "Tomorrow," and then left.

That seemed the sensible thing to do.