Shades of Blue Ch. 05

"I had never felt anything like it before. Stephen had never made me cum like that. I have treasured the memory of that orgasm since then, even though I hated the memory of how I was when it happened. That was the moment I thought I understood what a truly mind-blowing thing a real orgasm was. Until then they had been nice, good even, but never like that. I have even wondered if being helpless and forced had made the difference, but of course I wasn't going to risk ever putting myself in such a position ever again. Then this afternoon, before dinner when you made love to me, Paul, the memory of my greatest ever orgasm was eclipsed. You once again touched places only he had been and, like when he was inside me, I no longer cared about possible consequences, I needed to feel you filling me with the proof of your love for me. I knew then that being tied and helpless was no part of what I felt. I was on top, I was in control. I could have got off you in time, you warned me you were about to cum, and I was free to stop this. You blew that memory away completely in the moment when you came inside me. That was, I thought, the ultimate moment in my life, but then you went and surpassed even that, when you took me directly to heaven with your mouth. That really did rock, not just my world, but my whole existence."

She leaned forward and kissed me, "For that alone I will thank you for the rest of my life."

I held her for a moment, then I said, "I know there is more to this story, isn't there? I think now you have got this far, it is best if you finish it." I already had an idea where this was going, but I needed to hear it from her, not to make up my own ending which might have been completely wrong.

"Yes, you are right, there is more" she said. "When he had finished, he slowly pulled out and I could feel his cum running out of me. This only confirmed what I already knew, that he hadn't been wearing a condom."

"Stephen then removed my gag, warning me to be quiet and not to do anything I might regret later. He forced my mouth open and held my head as that large, softening penis, dripping with a combination of his semen and my juices was inserted into my mouth. I was still recovering from that last orgasm and I admit that I sucked and licked it clean. There was one last small spurt of cum from him and I swallowed that with all of the rest of our juices. When I had finished cleaning him, he lay down on the bed beside me and just held me for several minutes, then he began to kiss my breasts again. He was much gentler this time and, in spite of everything, I was responding to his touch again. I felt his cock was getting hard against my leg, and I just knew this wasn't over and he was going to fuck me again. The gag hadn't been replaced, and I managed to say 'No! Stop! Please don't – Please!' Stephen must have realised he wanted to go again, and started to say this wasn't part of their agreement. The man just told him to shut up. Then he said to me 'Is something the matter love?' I was shocked that he cared, after all he had just raped me, but I managed to say 'Please don't! Don't do this to me'. Stephen started to tell me to shut up, but the man told him to get out. Then he said something that really surprised me. He told him to undo the handcuffs and untie my legs before he went. Stephen started to say something, but, in a tone that left no doubt as to who was in charge, he said 'Do as you are told, untie her and get out!' He then whispered to me 'I want you to leave the blindfold on, its better if you don't know who I am'. I just nodded."

"Stephen undid the handcuffs and ropes then left the room. As soon as he had gone, the man helped me to sit up on the side of the bed. I was shaking and now I was released from my bonds, the situation I was in came home to me and I started to cry. He just held me until I finished, not saying a word, then he kissed me, very gently on the lips. Then he did something which really shocked me. He took my hands in his and knelt down on the floor in front of me. He asked me to forgive him for what he had done. He said he had always thought I was beautiful and had wanted me for some time, and Stephen knew this. Stephen already owed him quite a bit, and last night he had lost a lot more money to him at cards. When it came time to settle up, the other minor debts were settled and everyone else left. Stephen waited until they were alone and then told him he didn't have the money, but because he knew I really liked you, he offered to set this up as part payment of his debt."

"I was dumbstruck! This man who had just raped me was now asking me to forgive him. I told him that if he had really liked me that much, he wouldn't have done this to me. I told him I knew nothing of Stephen's debts and tying me up was, I thought, just another game he wanted to play. I told him that Stephen liked to play games where he dominated me pretended to have to force me. This time, when he had me helpless he called me 'His Whore' and said it was time I started to 'Earn my keep'. I also said that I now thought Stephen had plans to turn me into a prostitute, with him as my pimp."

"He apologised again, and then he asked me to trust him. He promised me that whatever ideas Stephen might have in that direction, they werenotgoing to happen, he would make certain of that. He then told me that Stephen had shown him some pictures of me and said that I would be willing to settle the debt in this way. He said he was surprised at this, he had always thought I was not the kind of girl who would do something like that, but Stephen had insisted I would be 'up for it'. He said he now realised that he had been conned into raping me, and it was part of Stephen's plan to put me 'on the game'. Tying me up wasn't just 'a bit of fun' as Stephen had said it was, what he had done to me actuallywasrape. He said it now looked like he had been used like I had, and while he couldn't undo what he had done, he would do whatever he could to make it up to me. He asked me to wait upstairs until he had gone, promising that he was going to make sure Stephen never attempted to do anything like this to me ever again. I heard them arguing downstairs as I was getting dressed, although I couldn't hear what was being said. Then the front door opened and closed, a car door slammed and he drove away."

"After that, the card nights ceased. Those photos were never mentioned again. Before this he would threaten to show them all over the town to make me do what he wanted but those threats stopped. Sexual demands from him also stopped and he began to treat me much better. Two days later I received a handwritten note, unsigned, that said all of those photos, including the copies, had been destroyed. It also said that he honestly didn't realise that I hadn't consented to have sex with him or he would never have done what he did. He again asked me to forgive him. There was also a phone number and written beside it was 'Keep this number. If you ever need my help, if he threatens you or tries anything like that again, ring this number and just leave your name'."

"To this day I don't know who that man was, but whoever he was, I know Stephen was scared of him. He wouldn't tell me who he was, but I got the feeling that somehow he would know if Stephen stepped out of line and he had enough influence to make sure Stephen would be sorry if he did."

"The morning after Stephen had hit us both, I really didn't know what to do so I phoned that number. A man's voice answered and I told him my name. The man just said 'Stay by that phone, someone will be in touch'. Less than five minutes later the phone rang and I recognised the voice of the man from that night. He asked me what had happened and I told him that Stephen had attacked us both and was now being held in the police station. I had to go to the station that morning to tell them what I wanted them to do about it, but I didn't know what to do. He didn't hesitate, he told me to tell them everything he had done and that I wanted to press all charges against him. He also said I should see someone to start the proceedings to divorce him. I told him I was afraid of what Stephen might do if I did that. He promised me that Stephen wouldn't ever touch me again. He also said that I mustn't worry about anything, he would make sure I was safe."

"I never told you, but while he was in prison for assaulting us, Stephen got beaten up quite badly in the showers. I have no proof, but I have always thought that it was done to order, in retribution for him hitting us that night. Before that happened he had been arrogant, saying he would throw us out on the street. He suddenly changed and never even contested the divorce. I got everything, the house, which had been in his sole name, the furniture, everything. I also never received a bill from the solicitors who handled the divorce. When I went in and asked what I owed, I was told that the bill had already been settled in full. I asked 'who paid it?' but they wouldn't tell me. I was taken in to see the senior partner who told me that he couldn't even tell me how much the bill had been. He just said that a condition laid on them when the payment was made, was that it must remain anonymous. "

The importance of what Joanne had said began to dawn on me and I squeezed her hands, stopping her from continuing the tale. "You say that my father's sexual demands stopped after this happened. Do you mean stopped completely, or just the demands for these 'games' that he liked to play?"

She nodded, "You are now beginning to understand why I needed to tell you about this.Allof his sexual demands stopped from the moment that man walked out of the door. We were never again intimate after that moment. Ever since we first started seeing each other, whenever we had sex he had always worn a condom because he didn't want children. After that night, I missed my next period and a pregnancy test I bought from the chemist showed positive. I was pregnant. Nine months later, you were born."

"Paul, your real father is not Stephen James. I don't know the name of your biological father, but I know for certain it was the man who first raped me while I was tied to the bed, and then apologised and begged on his knees for me to forgive him. I am sure that ever since then he has been watching over me, and you. What he did to me was wrong, but at least, when he realised what he had done, he was sorry. I am sure if he had known I hadn't consented, he wouldn't have had anything to do with it. Stephen tricked him into doing what he did, I don't think he was really a bad man. I think he has done what he could to make up for it since, short of letting me know who he is of course. I truly believe that he isn't a bad man and would never have done what he did if he had known I was not willing and that it really was rape. I think Stephen must have told him I liked to be tied up as if I was being raped, that it turned me on."

"Although I have tried, I have never been able to find out who he was. I don't know what he said to Stephen before he left, but Stephen wouldn't tell me his name. He was genuinely frightened that somehow he would find out, if he told me."

Suddenly things I had wondered about for years started to make some sense. The fight with Pete at college was nothing, but the response from people who didn't really know me, had always felt a bit too excessive. How he was trampled on the rugby pitch. His inability to find and hold a job afterwards and getting finished as 'unsuitable' for the position he seemed to be doing ok in. The job I applied for at the insurance company. I knew people with far better qualifications than me, who didn't even get an interview. I not only got an interview, but it always seemed as if the job was mine from the moment I walked into the room. Although I hadn't been there all that long, I had been taken in hand and guided by one of the most senior managers and had already been promoted to 'Team Leader'. I had people, far more experienced than me, working under me. Maybe someone with 'clout'waswatching over me, opening doors that might otherwise be closed.

I squeezed her hand, stood up and walked over to the dining area. The feeling I had had, about what she was building up to telling me had been right. Filling the kettle I switched it on, before looking back to where Joanne was sitting. "Wow!" I said, "I need a moment after hearing all that. I could do with a cup of coffee right now, and I expect you could as well."

Joanne just nodded , she looked really scared. I put the coffee and sugar in the cups while I considered my next move and what I should say. I didn't want to rush this and say the wrong thing at a moment like this. The kettle came to the boil and I made the drinks, but I left them on the table and went back to where Joanne was still sitting. Taking both of her hands in mine, I knelt down in front of her on the floor.

"It would seem that the men in your life make a habit of kneeling in front of you" I said. "Are you sure you are not related to royalty? Or is that another little secret you intend to tell me about later."

Not even a smile! So that attempt to lighten the mood fell on stony ground.

"Joanne" I said, "There is only one thing I need to know now. I am sure I will have more questions later, but this is one I must ask and I need you to answer this completely truthfully. Will you do that, for me?"

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"OK!" I said, "Do you still love me and still want to be my wife? I am talking about the rest of our lives together, forsaking all others, till death do us part. The full 'Father Ted' thing from this afternoon .... The whole nine yards? "

She had tears in her eyes as she answered "Oh yes! You know I do."

I raised first one of her hands, and then the other to my lips and kissed them. "Then what you have just told me, while I am angry that Stephen would do such a thing to you and I fully intend to give him a good smack for that, sometime, it makes me glad that I do not have the shame of having his genes inside me. My biological father did a terrible thing to you, but from what you have said, it seems as if he was tricked into thinking you had consented, and was genuinely sorry afterwards when he realised you hadn't, and it was rape. It also appears that he has tried to make good on his promise to make it up to you. Maybe he really did love you and today is something of a case of 'like father - like son', because for me nothing has changed, I love you too. All that matters to me now is that we love each other. This makes no difference to that at all. So! Can I get up from my knees now? ....... Your Royal Highness."

"That, by the way, is just in case you really do have another secret you are going to tell me about later, I don't want to be spending the rest of my future in 'The Tower'."

Ah-Ha! I at least raised a smile this time. Things are looking up! I got up from my knees and drew her to her feet as well. Then I put my arms around her and just held her close. "I should never have mentioned handcuffs" I said, "If I had known what he did to you I wouldn't have. When we get home I am going to clear out that attic and we are going to get rid of everything. Anything that makes you sad is going. For now I think we should drink our coffee and just go to bed."

After we had finished our coffee I took her hand and led her into the bedroom. She was almost in a trance and meekly came with me without a word. Beside the bed I gently undressed her, taking her new nightgown which she had laid out ready and slipped it over her head. Then I drew back the covers and laid her in that beautiful bed, before covering her up again. I then quickly undressed and put my pyjamas on, glad now I had thought to bring them, before slipping in on the other side and sliding across, put my arms around her.

"I am here my love" I whispered, "I am by your side, which is where I am going to be for the rest of your life. Trust in me my darling, I will never, ever hurt you and no-one else is ever going to hurt you again, I promise. This has been a very long and eventful day so I think perhaps we should just cuddle until we fall asleep in each other's arms."

She put her arms around me, and then with a smile she spoke, for the first time since she had finished the story. She said "Pyjamas! You are wearing pyjamas on your wedding night," and she began to giggle.

I raised myself up on my elbow and tried to look stern. "Now you listen to me young lady" I managed to get out, before I started to giggle as well. In seconds we were both laughing out loud at how ludicrous this situation was. We were back together as if nothing had happened to spoil things. "I think we should both get some sleep" I said, "Perhaps I was right earlier, when I said 'Mummy wasn't getting it', but I promise you, that doesn't include tomorrow, before and after breakfast, - Sorry, not during, I might spill my cornflakes, - Then tomorrow night and forever and ever – Amen!"

She grinned up at me. "Oh God!" she said, "The 'smart arse' is back."

"You had better believe it" I replied, "And just in case you are wondering, this 'smart arse' still thinks you scrub up pretty well."

She drew me down into a deep kiss. Then she said "Perhaps you had better get some of those things you gave Simon within reach, because when I get you out of those pyjamas, there is a distinct possibility we are going to need them. No way am I waiting till tomorrow morning and we have pushed our luck enough already today. It only took your father one time to get me pregnant with you, and from what I have already discovered, there is at least one of his attributes you have inherited." She slipped her hand into my pyjama trousers to where I was rock hard with desire for her. "It was a long time ago" she said, "I only experienced him once, and I was blindfolded then, but I think you compare very favourably to your father, down here."

I kissed her again before slipping out of bed and collecting a couple of the condoms, which I put on the bedside table. She lay there watching me with a smile on her face.

"Only two?" she said, "Huh! I don't know what the younger generation is coming to. Absolutely no stamina the young people of today! For goodness sake, will you get out of those pyjamas! I am not going to fight my way past them to get to what I want, and be prepared for a long night. You might need a week off work to recover from tonight, so come here and let me get at you."

I picked up the box from my case and put the other four alongside the first two. Leaving my pyjamas in an untidy heap on the floor, I slipped back into bed and held her to me. She pushed me onto my back and, swinging her leg across me, straddled my belly. She was just about to move down to re-position herself to receive my cock when I grabbed her wrists and stopped her. I dew her face to mine and kissed her, before whispering, "Not so fast, you were on top last time, it's my turn now," and holding her in place I rolled her onto her back, underneath me. Kneeling up I reached across and took one of the condoms from the bedside table, tearing the packet open and unrolling the condom onto my penis. She took my face in her hands and gazed lovingly into my eyes. As I leaned down to kiss her with one hand I positioned the head of my cock at the entrance to her very wet vagina. We kissed and I gently began to push forward, very slowly spreading her lips as the head entered her love tunnel.

As I slipped inside her I was rewarded by a low moan into my mouth, and her arms tightened around me. Then she broke away from the kiss and whispered, " Oh Paul I was so afraid that when I told you about how you were conceived you would be angry with me. Angry for the years I stayed with him and suffered his abuse, angry because of the way he abused you as well and for letting you think for all these years that he was your father."