Shadow of The Wolf Ch. 04

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Now she was curious as to what prompted them to leave their post and come into the garage. She heard a brief knock on the outside door and right after that a head poked in. "Can I come in, Regina?" the soft voice rumbled gently. She instinctively nodded her head, but realized that he probably wouldn't see it from the other side of the door. Alex walked around to the side of the car she was working on. "Sure, come on in..." she hesitated, not knowing which of the twins was at the door.

"It's Luc," he smiled slightly, knowing that it was hard for people to tell them apart. Shifters had a slight advantage since they could differentiate based on distinct scent signature.

"What brings you in here? And what's with the Regina? You know very well that is not my name." She quirked a brow at him. She found it a little funny that a big guy like him actually looked uncomfortable and squirmed like he was being called in the principal's office.

"I apologize for bothering you. But the Alpha wanted to know if you would consent to eat dinner at the mansion tonight," he replied. "As to why I address you as Regina, well, that was to show my respect. You are our queen after all." He was ill at ease, since he did not know how a human would take to their show of obeisance. If being addressed as Regina got her hackles up, he wondered what she would do when the pups became over eager and actually dropped down and nuzzled her feet.

She blinked at Luc and waved her hand at his explanation about her being their queen. "As far as I'm concerned, you can call me Alex, that goes for your brother too. Respect is earned Luc, which goes both ways too," she calmly said.

"So you're telling me that Rance asked you to ask me? Why didn't he do it himself? He's been talking," she used her hands to make air quote between them, "to me before then. Why stop now?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest and tapped her right foot as she waited for Luc's answer.

"He, ah, told me that you must have closed off your mental link with him." Luc looked awkward as he relayed his alpha's message. He couldn't understand why Rance didn't just come and fetch his mate and bring her back to the mansion, and so asked him.

His alpha's cryptic answer to that was "You'll know better when you're mated."

The sudden cessation of her tapping foot brought his eyes to her face. Alex was sporting a huge smile in her face. Whatever it was she was thinking it made her grey eyes twinkle mischievously. I did that? she asked herself. So I can shut off the big bad wolf from my mind, hmmmm... she thoughtfully hummed. What did I do differently, I wonder?This requires more thought . I need to learn how to do it purposely.

"Ah, Alex?" Luc interrupted her, a little unsettled at the uninhibited smugness showing in her pixyish face.

Still lost in her own thought, she lifted inquiring eyes back to Luc. "Yes?" she asked.

"Should we start closing up the garage now? I thought you might want to go back to your place and change first. Also, it would be more convenient for you to bring a change of clothes too. It's quite a drive from the mansion, it will save you the trip back if you stay tonight."

Alex held Luc's gaze, trying to determine if he was being flippant or serious. These wolves are a trip, she thought. I guess for them, being mated is something that you just accept. "Why did you make that assumption?"

"You and the Alpha are mated," he stated plainly.

"So?" Alex raised her brows inquiringly.

"I know that everything is new to you. But Alex, the longer you are apart, the harder it would be for both of you. So it's only sensible that you be together as much as possible. Hopefully starting tonight?" Luc replied straight faced.

Now that he mentioned it, she realized that she had been pretty antsy and unsettled the whole day. Only when Rance chose to send her those soothing touches through their bond would her turbulent emotions calm and quiet down.

"Okay. Though there's merit to your suggestion, I'll let you know my decision once I get changed. Whether I stay tonight at the mansion or not will be discussed between me and Rance. Let me lock up here and then you can follow me home."

Alex then proceeded to turn off all the lights inside the garage and locked up the office. Leaving the lights on outside, she armed the security alarm and finally walked to her car. She saw the twins waiting in their own vehicle and waved at them.

Unlocking her car, she slid in the driver side and started her car. This will be an interesting evening. I want to know if the attraction between Rance and me was just a fluke or not. Then maybe I can accept this 'destiny' thing between us. She drove carefully to her home.

Parking in her driveway, she turned her car off and gathered her stuff together. As she was about to get out of her car, one of the twins --Luc, or was it Troy? -- slammed his hand on the driver's door, and barked, "Stay here!" She was about to make an angry retort, when she noticed that his arms was getting hairy and his nails elongated into sharp claws. His eyes glittered as his nose twitched in the air, sniffing, and growling deep in his chest.

The other twin rounded the front of her car. "Alex, Troy will stay with you while I check your house."

"What is going on?!" she fairly shouted at them.

Troy, the twin who held her door closed replied. "The shifter who stalked you yesterday in the woods is here," he growled at her.

She stared at him, dumbfounded.

To be continued.....

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Strong female character

I like that Alex is a strong female character, and that she is thinking about the relationshipt, without the usual back and forth that too many female character go through : she accepts the situation but also keeps some distance and try to make her own mind, not just cower to the "power" of the alpha. i like that she is described to be on the "chubby side" and not a flat stomack exotic goddess. But what about the red hair?? And why are most of the female character to be petite? It is so cliché to have a big big man and a small small female....

PrincessJezebelPrincessJezebelabout 11 years ago
Thank you, willeriley

You articulated the same problems I am seeing in the story, though I am more focused on the grammar, punctuation, and word usage.

blackduchess, you are a very good storyteller, and I too disagree with willeriley about the sex scenes. I find them pretty hot! You mention at the beginning of your chapters that you have two editors, but with all due respect to them, they aren't catching mistakes in your story. Perhaps that isn't what you have asked them to do, or maybe it just isn't a strength for either of them. You might benefit from a good proofreader who will catch the language errors. Such a person might also be able to teach you along the way so that you can improve.

Good luck, and I agree with others that you should keep writing!

erinjamisonerinjamisonover 11 years ago
Some Valid Points

I read the really long commentary one reader offered up and while some points are valid, others are not. Yes, this is a hobbyist site and a person coming here to read a story for their own pleasure without having to pay to read the story should in my view, cut you some slack. Granted the criticism was only offered to further aide you in the future with your craft. You will find that you cannot please everyone and that you should create a world and characters that you know well and can envision in your minds eye vividly. Your next task is to incorporate intrigue, action and tension into the story to keep your readers waiting with baited breath to turn the proverbial page. Having done all that, you must make your characters become real in the mind's eye of your reader so that reading the words on the screen begins to play out as a movie to your reader. Have you done that in my opinion? Yes.

I completely disagree that the sex scenes are not erotic and I don't think they're pornish level either. You could use vague terms like his member or her sex if you were trying not to be so blatant but the story is meant to be erotic and I believe that goal has been accomplished. Some of the points my fellow site member made would have/should have been caught by an editor. Because there are several kinds of editors you could have, it's hard to know which one you really need. I believe the cliches she mentioned were intentional and not accidental.

I believe that you have a burgeoning talent here. There are ebooks with less volume, description, story content, and pages on sale on Amazon.com right now selling for 2.99 with a steady volume of sales. I'm glad in the end the one commentor did tell you to continue to write. When you put something out there in the universe, not everyone will think it's great and the negative ones or the ones that point out the flaws are the hardest to forget. Practice makes perfect. Oh wait, that was a cliche right? Besides, I'm kinda hooked on the story so I say, keep writing shug! :)

Alpha_MarmAlpha_Marmalmost 12 years ago
Total agreement with member Willeriley

I was wondering what was off in the strands of this story. While I enjoyed the premise there were elements that weren't jiving. For some reason as I was reading the comments, yours stood out as extremely pointed and valid. Your were right on point and gave the author excellent suggestions for pulling things together better for future chapters.

I was in agreement with you on some of the reasons for some of the technical issues, but the potential is inherent in the story. Some tweaking and editing should remedy some of this. Now as for the descriptions of the lovemaking....aaahhhhhh.....time will tell or a colorful editor....think?

Story has 'good bones'.

oneboobeeoneboobeealmost 12 years ago

Great story!!!!!!! Need more now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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