Sharing Ch. 02

"Ugh!" I cried out as I threw my phone down at the table. "Why can't he just leave me alone?"

Paige rolled her eyes and grabbed up the offending device and read the text message aloud. "'I need you back baby. I wanna fuck you so bad!'? Seriously? Does the douche even think that'll work?"

I grimaced as I pressed the straw of my iced tea to my lips as though I needed to wash out a bad taste in my mouth... "He's always had an ego, but I never thought he was that stupid."

My friend just gawked at me for daring to come so close to paying Deric a compliment. "Not that stupid? He's a right wing nut job with the crappiest double standards and most hypocritical views I've ever met. What did you ever see in that loser?" Paige was never one to mince words. And when it came to my ex, she made her mind known.

"He used to be different. He would stand up for me, and I admired him for that." I sighed as I toyed with my salad. "Love's complicated, you know? People change. Not always for the better, but they do; and then you want to convince yourself that the dumb kid you fell for in high school grew up into a man and not just an even dumber kid." I stretched out my hand to take my phone back.

"You mean he would make sure anyone who even looked at you learned to steer clear so he could lock you away all to himself. Hell girl he even tried talking you out of your job! You love that gig, don't let a man take that away from you!" She placed her hand over mine after placing my phone back into my open palm.

I nodded. After years of education and effort, I finally became trainer at Sea World. It was all my dreams come true. "I just think he couldn't stand how my success was changing me."

Paige abruptly interrupted my thoughts before I could continue. "You mean he couldn't stand that you were bringing in more money than him, and got insanely jealous when he saw how built one of your coworkers was under that wet suit. What was his name, Brad or something? He seems more your type, right?"

I shook my head, glad at the change in topics but still unsatisfied. "Brad's married, Paige. He's got three kids, and his wife is a friend to every trainer at the park including me."

She put her chin onto her fist as she rested her elbow down while struggling with my single status, her favorite charity mission to solve. Every conversation she mused aloud about one man or another that I knew. She never suggested anyone outside of my social circle, and certainly none of her modeling friends.

Her bracelets jingled together as she tucked a lock of hair back behind her ear. Even when she pouted it just made her seem cute. Honey blonde hair, brown eyes, and full lips, set along with a knockout figure and golden tan skin, she further accentuated her features with the right makeup, fashion, and jewelry to draw attention to her assets. In other words, she was a complete knock out and even I could see it. No wonder she landed that modeling job, I thought.

"Enough of that mess. So how's the modeling biz? Are you getting hit on by all the photographers?" I grinned as I turned the tables on her. If there was one thing I knew about Paige, it was her odd discomfort in opening up on her own personal life, no matter how opinionated she was about everyone else's.

I chuckled quietly as she squirmed so predictably. "You know I don't like talking about work, Claire." She glanced nervously across the restaurant where we were having dinner. "But everyone at work is really nice, and it's really professional. Nothing happens off camera that you don't see at a shoot."

The reply seemed too careful. But I dismissed it. "Great. So when am I going to see you in a magazine or on a billboard? Haven't you been building your portfolio long enough?" I asked excitedly.

In hindsight I guess I was just wishing success for my best friend, considering how recently I felt that my goals were being fulfilled I wanted the same happiness for the woman who had been my primary support and sanity for the past few years. I had no idea that I was making her so uncomfortable every time I broached too close to this one taboo topic between us. And this time it was apparent that I would just keep tackling it head on now that I was no longer cramming biology textbooks for dinner.

My beautiful proud friend shyly toyed at her salad as her face turned down to gaze into all of the mysteries lettuce and dressing could offer. "You won't." She whispered.

Something was wrong. A tiny voice inside me told me to pretend I hadn't heard her, to leave her insecurities alone. But I wanted to find out what was causing her pain and I wanted more than anything to let her know that she would be ok. "Why not?" was all that I asked, though. I kicked myself inside for leaving her vulnerable to explain herself to me without more reassurance.

"There's no modeling portfolio, Claire." She said in a deadpan voice.

It had to be joke, I thought. She had been talking about her shoots and her portfolio for almost two years now. She even quit her job as a waitress and dropped out of classes to pursue her career. How could the one thing that she abandoned her old life for be a lie?

I took a brief moment in the awkward silence to gather my thoughts. This was my best friend. She had been there for me in the hardest moments of my life, built up my confidence in myself, and encouraged me to go on and to succeed even when I had no one else. There was no way on earth I would ever abandon her, no matter what.

"It's ok Paige. I'm here for you." I reached forward and grasped her hands into mine. And in that moment of time I saw her as sad, lonely, and vulnerable. It broke my heart as I saw tears well up into her eyes.

"Promise me, Claire. Promise that you're here for me and you won't judge me." She pleaded in a voice quieter than I had ever seen her use. My outspoken lioness had turned into a mouse.

"I promise." I assured her, watching her try to relax as I caressed her hands.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and finally just said it. "I'm a porn star."

That was unexpected, but I had steeled myself for anything she might say. I was filled with a million questions all at once. Was this a joke? How long had this gone on? Did anyone else know? Did her family? But in the end I settled on the most important one. "Are you happy?"

She smiled slightly at the sheer simplicity of my question, and visibly let go of the tension she was feeling. "Yeah, I am. I really am, but I've been hiding this for so long and now there's no way I can hide it anymore."

I smirked at her, "You never could keep a secret for long could you?" I joked.

She shook her head and suddenly her smile widened. "No, Claire, you don't understand. I'm a really famous porn actress. I'm starring in feature films that are going to hit shelves soon and I'm all over the internet. Pretty soon everyone I know is going to know someone who's watched me get paid to have sex." And then her expression changed. Tears rolled from her eyes. "And I'm so scared! I never thought when I started that it would become a career! I thought at first that it was better than a student loan, but that was over two years ago! And now I've become one of the biggest rising stars in the industry."

I laughed. "Wow. So you're totally famous! And you're a success!" I gripped her hands. "Paige, you've always been outspoken against prudes and nut jobs. Why would my opinion of you change? I mean sure it's unexpected, and it's never going to be my thing, but you already told me that you don't get why I like smelling like krill and seawater. Just because I can't understand this doesn't mean I can't support you and still be your friend." And with that I moved to the other side of our booth to hug her.

She slumped into my arms and leaned on me for support. "Oh god Claire. I've been living a double life for so long and I'm so exhausted! I have friends, friends from my work! And they're great people, and so nice and cool you'd never guess what they do for a living if you met them on the street. Unless you like porn. And I've kept them completely apart from our friends, and don't tell them about my old life either! It's like I've torn myself into two people and I just can't do it anymore, even if I wanted to." She was sobbing into my shoulder and soon my blouse and her face were covered with her mascara. My gorgeous bombshell friend was not looking her best.

And our waiter was staring. I gestured him away. He shuffled off into whatever dark corner he crawled out of. Turning my attention completely onto her, I kissed her on the forehead and dipped a napkin into her ice water before dabbing away her weeping mascara. "I knew you were holding back. But now you don't have to. Is this why you haven't had me over to your place for so long?" She nodded. "Is your work following you home?" I asked, almost leeringly as though I were her asking myself about a date.

She giggled, and I saw my old friend coming back to the surface. "I'm a bit of a workaholic." I pressed my elbow into her side and she continued. "There're a few workaholics I like bringing home with me. We rehearse our lines... and our positioning."

I chided her. "So you have a few boyfriends over that you don't want me to meet, huh?"

She opened up her compact to see what she had done to her makeup just then. "Oh Claire," she said like an older sister explaining the ways of life "they're not all boys, you know." I must've made a small gasp, because she gave me a devilish grin in response. She laid a few bills on the table and said. "Come on. Let me introduce you to some of my other friends."

And that's when I knew we were going to be ok. And that was also when I saw our waiter come back. "Um, excuse me." he shook as he spoke. "Are you Ceres Paige, the... actress?"

Her sidelong look she gave me was as priceless an 'I told you so' as I'd ever seen. She composed herself and faced the walking hormone directly. "Actually yes, I am. Are you a fan?"

"Oh awesome!" He gushed. "I'm like your biggest fan ever! I have like all of your films! You're the best! I loved you in Laguna Lesbians Three and Five!" Oh god, this is what her fans are like. I suddenly was very unsure of just how much I could support this kind of career.

"Thanks! I appreciate that. Do you want an autograph?" She leaned forward ever so slightly and I could see the shrimp's eyes move down into her cleavage.

"Yes! I just got this one, and haven't watched it yet... would you sign it?" The dork actually pulled a porn dvd case from a coat pocket in his uniform and laid it on the table. I couldn't fathom being so lonely and desperate that I'd buy porn on my way to work. This poor kid was never going to get as close to a woman as he got to Paige each night in his fantasies.

"Oh! Let's Bang Betty! I had a lot of fun making this one." She winked at him and signed the cover of the dvd case. I blushed when I saw it. Paige was on the cover with her breasts bared for all to see and was surrounded on all sides by naked tan musclemen. "What's your name?"

"Tom." He gushed.

"Okay." Her giggle had to be faked, but it was damn convincing. I was scared of just how convinced I was by this act. "To my number one fan Tom, thanks for watching! Love, Ceres." She handed it back to him and I stared as her fingers lingered over his hand.

"Wow. Thank you so much. You have an awesome day ladies." He smiled and went back into the kitchen as he stuffed the dvd back into his pockets.

"Let's run." She whispered. And we got the heck out of there.

When I pulled my little Nissan next to her Toyota in the parking garage, I wondered just what I was getting myself into. I had work the following morning and had told myself that I would be out for dinner and then back to my apartment in time to go to bed. Just then my cell phone rang again. It was Deric. Tapping the blue tooth in my ear just after slamming the door shut, I gave him the courtesy of an answer. It was more than he deserved.

"What is it?" I asked curtly, noting the strange look on Paige's face. I rolled my eyes and showed her my phone. "I'm kinda busy." I continued.

"Baby! I've been trying to reach you all day. I was hoping maybe we could go out, have some coffee, talk for a bit." He sounded whiney. Begging in a way and it wasn't working.

"Deric. One, you never mentioned coffee in your texts. You mentioned fucking, and you know I hate that word unless I'm in traffic. Two, that stunt you pulled almost cost me my deposit on my apartment. I'm not over that. Three, getting drunk and hitting on my friends right after I ask for space is a bad idea. And four, calling me a whore over the phone means we're through." I watched as Paige nodded and gave me a thumbs-up.

"Claire! Baby I'm sorry about all of that. I can change. Just give me a chance. I'll go real slow this time. Come on, we're good together." He was pleading.

I chose that moment to let him have it. "Five. When I was with you I had to fake it way too often for my liking." With that said I hung up and turned my phone off.

Paige grabbed me around the shoulder and squeezed me closer to her. "That's my girl. You showed him."

I sighed. "You know how to block a number?"

She shook her head. "Wish I did, girl. But I think I know someone who can."

Good, I thought. "I hope you do."

We got into the elevator and she put her key into the slot while punching for her floor. Soon we were shooting up quickly along the building. It was a glass elevator with a clear view of the harbor, and as I gazed out I took in the beauty of the place and also just how late it was. We arrived quickly near the top of the building and Paige lead the way down a curved hall and unlocked her room.

I'm not sure what I was expecting when I walked into the apartment of a porn starlet and her friends. Maybe I was expecting to walk into the middle of an orgy, or at least see some nudist activity. I was pleasantly surprised to see a group of girls around our age dressed comfortably as one of them flipped through options on their TiVo for something to watch. It was a large plasma flat screen, and looked to have every device, sound system, and game console you could want, and was faced with clean sleek looking leather couches on a dark hardwood floor. Just then I looked around and realized this was a much larger apartment than I remembered Paige having before. She must have moved units within the building and I hadn't even noticed when she picked a higher floor in the elevator.

"Guys, this is my friend Claire. Claire, this is Quinn, Reis, Mina, and Su Lin." She gestured from left to right for my benefit. Quinn was a dark haired woman with an olive tan and amber tinted cat like eyes. It was their shape more than their color I was struck by, and her thin face really gave her an almost feline look to go with her trim athletic build.

Reis was a tall blonde with pouty lips, a piercing stare, and glasses. She was reading on her kindle while keeping the three remotes necessary for their entertainment system within reach, and she immediately struck me as every teenager's fantasy about their teachers in an idealized form. Sitting next to her Mina was an even taller woman who looked like she spent some time in a gym judging by her arms. Her ruby red hair was cropped very short to frame her high cheekbones and brown eyes, giving her a tomboyish look.

On the far end in a loveseat there was Su Lin, who was very short, and very tan. From her face I'd say she was probably Chinese, or perhaps Korean. But she had a thinner figure and a larger chest than any Asian I had ever seen, which caused me to wonder if she was born with them. She could have been one of the mythical size zeros that fashion designers seem so enthralled with, but with her rack she seemed ready to tip over.

We all exchanged greetings as Paige brought me further in and soon we were all sitting on the couch and watching an episode of Greys Anatomy. When Su Lin asked Reis to pause it so she could go use the restroom, Paige took that as an opportunity to enmesh me into the group. "Hey Reis, Claire here is having boy trouble. Could you help her block a number?" She smiled pleasantly at me as I gave her a little glare followed by my own smirk.

"No problem." She said as I passed her my iPhone, "This is really easy actually." She explained what she was doing as she went into submenus I had never seen before, and had Deric's number blocked before Su Lin got back. I probably could have done it, but nowhere near that fast.

"Wow, you're good at this. I'm impressed." I smiled as I accepted my phone back.

"Anyone need a snack?" Quinn got up to head to the kitchen. "I'm grabbing a pastry."

I admit that sounded good after only having a salad for dinner. Granted it had chicken in it, but I probably could have ordered a second course of some kind if we hadn't been interrupted by porn confessions and the closet fan boy. "Sounds good. I'll help bring them out if anyone else wants any."

"I'll have one." Su Lin said as she finally got back from the restroom. The others all chimed in, except Mina who just nodded her assent. "And some soy milk too." Only Paige joined Su Lin for that request. Quinn, Reis, and I went for Organic, but it still came from an udder. Mina went dry.

As Quinn and I gathered rations for the troops and readied ourselves for another foray of hospital melodrama, the phone rang and I could hear Paige's voice as she answered.

"Hello? Hi Lance, how was the gym?" Who was that I wondered? "You got the new script? Uhuh. Yeah. Okay. How many speaking parts? Okay. Who's directing? Oh god, not him. Yeah, I know." As I laid her pastry in front of her I could see the slight smile on her face and the way her fingers were fidgeting with her braids while she talked on the phone. She must have the hots for this guy, I thought.

She suddenly stood up straight from her seat on the couch. "Tonight?" She glanced at me with a worried look. "You need to rehearse? What kind of scene? Me, Su Lin, and who? I guess I could ask one of the girls to stand in for her. Fifteen minutes? Alright, I'll see you in a few." And she hung up with a nervous expression on her face. Smiling with some force she said, "Lance's on his way over. Su Lin, he's got to practice a scene with us, one that Mr. Geraldine cooked up."

Su Lin gasped. "Really, I'm with Lance on this one? Awesome!" She rushed to her room. I had no idea what for.

Paige took me aside as I was just getting into my pastry. "Claire, one of my costars is coming over and he's delivering a script. He says we need to do a run through of some dialogue and practice for some positions the director wants. You think maybe I could visit you tomorrow after you get off work?"

I just looked at her in shock. "Are you kicking me out, Paige?"

She backed up. "No! No, I just thought something might happen in the scene you might not want to see. I mean, it's one thing to accept what my job is, but I'm not going to ask you to watch."

I finished the last bite of pastry and put my hand on my hip, standing my ground. "Paige. You brought me here just over half an hour ago. And that was after you complained about a double life. I'll stay, and like a big girl, I'll leave when I get uncomfortable."

Mina passed by to drop her plate off. "I'm heading out Paige. Claire, it was nice meeting you." And before Paige could even utter a word she was out the door.

Paige shrugged. "She only does girl on girl scenes. She doesn't like even being in the studio when we bring the guys in. Really hates men." She sighed.

"So who's Lance exactly?" I switched subjects on her.

She gave me a level look and said flat. "Well he has the biggest dick in the business, but unlike a lot of the rest of the actors he's pretty good with it and he's got a cute face and a hot body. Since he doesn't just rut or hump and has a lot of personality he's become the most popular male lead among women viewers."