She Helped Me

For as long as I can remember, it has been a fantasy of mine to eat my own cum. As many other men with this fantasy, I have struggled in achieving the final destination, which is my cum covered fingers being sucked clean by my own tongue and mouth.

Philosophically speaking, I see no harm in eating your own semen and I certainly do not think it makes you gay. I have absolutely no desire to be with another man, I just feel that it is insanely hot to think about my own cum in my mouth, and oh so difficult to do. In high school, when I was limber and spry, I attempted autofellatio a few times and was able to taste my own cum through this method. I cannot say it is something I necessarily enjoyed at that time, but I was curious and it was obviously pleasurable.

Time progressed and I tried various other methods of penis to mouth/tongue/throat semen transfers. I made bribes and deals with myself, created games that were fixed to ensure the outcome ended with me eating my own cum, masturbated in public places with a high chance of someone catching me so that I would be forced to eat my cum in order to not be caught. Anyone else know how this feels? Alas, it seemed that every time I convinced myself to eat my own cum, and every time I was sure I would eat it, that this was finally going to be the time I licked my fingers clean, I chickened out. As I have tasted my own cum a few times, I can tell you that I do not dislike the taste...mine barely has a taste. I am not grossed out by the texture at all. I quite like the warm, gooey feeling of it. It is just that every time I begin to orgasm, I completely lose the desire to eat my cum.

Well, having failed so many times in my endeavors, I decided to talk to my girlfriend about this fantasy. Over the years that we have been together, I knew I could trust her with my kinky fantasy. I figured that it was a fantasy of mine and if she had no desire to partake in this with me, then it did not need to progress any further. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

The first time I brought it up to her she was a bit startled. We were living in different states at the time and I brought it up over the phone during phone sex foreplay. We were discussing different fantasies and turn-ons when I casually asked her if she would like me to clean her up when we were done. She was a bit confused and asked what I meant. I told her that it was a fantasy of mine to eat my own cum.

We discussed the details of this for a few minutes and continued our mutual masturbations.

She could tell by my breathing that I was approaching orgasm and softly whispered over the phone that she would enjoy it if I ate my cum for her. The thought of licking my fingers clean for her caused everything in my genitals to ache for sweet relief. As I orgasmed, I held the head of my penis in my left hand and this opened my hole.

I watched as my semen slowly bubbled out and overflowed my swollen head. My index finger and thumb were covered with globs of my semen. When I could speak again, she asked me if I liked the taste or not and I confessed that I had not held up my end of the bargain. She asked if I was afraid of it. I told her that I was not afraid of it; it was just that I had lost the desire to.

She began whining and said that the thought of me cleaning myself up was so beautiful to her that she did not think she could cum unless I ate it all. After some persuading, she convinced me to gather it all on my index finger and thumb and to just do it for her. She instructed me to not just clog my nose, throw it all in, and swallow. She told me that she wanted me to enjoy it, to try to describe the taste for her. I politely obliged. I slowly licked nearly half of my load on the first swipe. I rolled it around my tongue for a few moments, tasted the saltiness of it and not much more. I asked her for permission to swallow it and she allowed me to.

She asked me if I liked it or not. I responded with the fact that it certainly was not the worst tasting stuff in the world. I followed that up with a few minutes of discussion regarding the texture and the feelings I had as it slid across my tongue and down my throat. I finished cleaning my hand and talked to her about other ways we could act upon this fetish. Upon hearing all this, it was her turn to orgasm and writhe in ecstasy.

That was the last time I was able to eat my own cum on my own. We have talked during foreplay about it, I have talked to her about licking my cum off her beautiful breasts, I have made deals with her that if I cum before her I will gladly finish her orgasm by eating my cum from inside her, and I have told her that I would love to make out after a blowjob, trading my cum between her mouth and mine. And every time, without fail, I lose the courage to follow through once I begin to orgasm. We chuckle and shrug it off as if it is no big deal.

Anyone else with this fantasy knows that it is indeed a big deal. Sometimes, it is all we can think about. I find myself obsessing over it mentally during the day. We talked about all this, my frustration, different ways we could enjoy it...my personal favorite is the thought of tying me to the bed and 69'ing, the first one to orgasm gets to eat my cum.

However, all the talking we had done never amounted to anything more than talk. After a year and a half, I had kind of given up hope and quit talking about this fantasy. Then, one evening over a candle light dinner, I brought the subject up again. I told her that once I started to cum, I would chicken out and lose all desire to eat it. I practically begged her over our table to feed it to me. She said she completely understood my feelings and that even though she would love to share this with me, she was not going to force me to do something I could not bring myself to do.

I said to her, it is obviously a desire I have, and I am asking you to do this for me. I continued by saying, I am asking you now, before we get to the bedroom, that whatever happens tonight, I want you to feed me my cum and I beg you to not allow me to chicken out. I made her deal at that moment, that we wouldn't talk about it anymore, she would understand that after I began to cum there was no way I would ask her to feed me my cum, and that she would just do it.

When we finally reached the bedroom, she gently laid me down on the bed and removed my clothing. My pants got on my penis as she pulled them down, haphazardly flinging my erect member to the side. She undressed in the dark, light pouring in through the drapes and dancing off her beautiful body. I could clearly make out her nipples, puffy and swollen, calling out to me. I could see her sweet pussy dampened, dripping at the thought of our dinner conversation. She slid over my cock, which was straining with desire, gently brushing the shaft with her breasts.

I could have easily came at the slightest breeze. She laid down beside, grabbed a cock ring and slowly rolled it down the length of my penis, lingering for just a moment with my aching head in her hand. She kissed me sweetly and asked me to masturbate for her. I gladly obliged, slowly pulling and tugging on my throbbing penis which was begging for sweet release. After nearly a minute, she told me that she would like to know when I was going to come so she could catch it in her hand.

I knew I could not take the agony much longer. Within thirty seconds I was ready to cum. True to her word, she cupped her hand over the head of my penis as I began to come. The tension of dreaming of this moment for so long, the sexual build up throughout the day and the conversation at dinner resulted in what seemed like a massive load of semen. I filled her hand and some slid out, down the side of my penis, resting on my shaved pubic region. Without saying a word, she brought her hand to my mouth. I had my mouth open; awaiting the sweet reward we had talked so much about.

She opened her hand and let my cum slide into my mouth. My cum hit my tongue, tasting sweet and salty. It flowed over my tongue and throughout my mouth, coming to rest in the back, waiting to be swallowed. I savored the moment, trying to memorize it. I wanted to remember the smells, the tastes, the feelings; for surely, this was altogether the kinkiest and hottest thing I had ever done.

She smiled at me, reached down to my quickly shriveling penis, scooped up the cum we had spilled, brought her finger between our mouths and asked if I wanted to lick it with her. We began to lick her finger together, our tongues chasing my cum up and down and back and forth between our mouths.

It was truly an amazing night.