She Needed the Pain

"Well, if I go for a divorce I plan to bring out the whole story for the world to know, but I will give your mother a chance to tell me in a few days why she tried to get me up to that hotel room that way. There were other options she could have used to accomplish the same thing."

"Dad, I hope this doesn't have to come to a divorce. I hope you think about it rationally."

"I guess its going to depend on how rational a story your mother gives me."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Later that day the cardiologist came to the ICU. My son, Michael, was with me.

"Mr Carter, I have good news. Your heart is fine and we can move you into a regular room for the night and you can go home tomorrow. It appears that you've had some sort of shock to your system that caused you to pass out. From your records it looks like you have a history of mental stress and you should probably seek psychiatric help to determine the cause of your problem. If you continue to have the stress you're under you're apt to develop some heart problems."

"Thanks doctor. Going home is a mixed blessing in my case because that's where the source of my problem resides also."

"Well, you will have to work that out, possibly with marital counseling."

"I've been that route. It didn't take."

"All right then, but as far as my professional opinion is concerned, you're physically able to leave the hospital. You should find a way to avoid a repetition of what caused your problem."

"Thank you for your assistance doctor."

After the doctor left I turned to Michael and asked, "Do you know whether David got hold of John Masters?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you dad. Mr. Masters will see you as soon as your able."

"I'll call John right now and see if I can get in to see him tomorrow morning after I've checked out of the hospital." I said as I reached for the phone.

I was able to make an appointment with John for ten o'clock the following morning. Then the nurse arrived and began to get me ready to be moved out of the ICU.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 6

After checking out the next morning David drove me to John Master's office where we went into conference with him.

"I hear you've had some of your old problems come back Jack." he told me after our greeting.

"Yes, and now I'm going to have to do something about it. I thought I'd put the early episode to bed, but she's done something that's brought it all back and I'm not sure but that she did it deliberately."

Then I told him what had occurred to cause my problems.

"So, what do you want to do Jack?"

"I'd like you to start proceedings toward a divorce on the grounds of adultery."

"Adultery? Do you have some new evidence that she's having another affair?"

"No, I want to proceed based on the affair she had thirteen years ago."

"I don't know whether the judge will go along with that Jack. You've been living with Ginger for thirteen years now in what he would assume is a harmonious marriage. He would most likely reject the petition for divorce based on lack of current evidence to the contrary."

"I don't care. I want to make it part of the public record about her infidelity and expose the sordid details of her affair. If its turned down we can try for a divorce on or separation on other grounds but I want to cause her some pain. She got out of her affair when I caught her thirteen years ago because I felt the kids needed a mother and a family and I didn't want to release the details of her affair because of what it would do to the family. The only pain she suffered was short lived, but I suffered for years before I could get back to a normal life. Now she's brought it all back and I want to cause her pain because of the thing she just did and for her affair. The kids are old enough now where custody isn't an issue anymore and are old enough where the details of her affair won't traumatize them."

"This could be very expensive Jack. Are you sure you want to proceed this way?"

"I'm very sure, but I'm going home now to confront Ginger and unless she's got a good explanation for her recent actions I will want to proceed. I don't know what she could say that would justify her actions but I will listen. Unless you hear from me please continue a toward a divorce based on her previous adultery."

"Okay Jack. I'll go with your instructions."

"Thanks John."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We left John's office and headed home to meet with Ginger. When we arrived at the house, Sandra and Michael met us outside and we all went into the house together. Ginger was sitting in the living room waiting for us. She looked like hell I thought and was glad to see her in pain finally. I waved the kids to seats as I spoke to her without going near her.

"Hello Ginger." I said as I sat in a chair across from her. I tried to remain calm and unemotional

"Hello Jack." she responded with tears running down her face and then continued, "David has told me why you're mad at me and what you want to hear from me. I wish I has some rational reason for what I did. I should have known better but I didn't. I was just thinking about it as a big joke that we could laugh about later. I can only ask that you forgive me for not using better judgement in doing what I did. I just didn't anticipate the repercussions of my actions."

"Ginger, your big 'joke' could have killed me and I cannot help but think it was deliberately done with that thought in mind."

"Oh no, Jack. Please don't say or think that. I love you and looked forward to growing old together with you. Why would I want to kill you?"

"You have a funny way of showing love for someone. I see your motive for doing it as a way to ensure keeping the details of your previous affair secret forever if I were gone and you would then have our marriage assets to yourself. You could then pursue your kinky sexual urges without remorse."

"Oh no Jack. Please don't accuse me of that. Not in front of the kids. I have no inclination to get involved in kinky sex again and I don't have need for more money I do hope that the report of my affair never comes to light but I would never try to kill you to keep it secret."

"The kids are old enough now to know about our problems so they can avoid our mistakes in their future. The thing is I can't keep going through a life worrying about you having another affair and I keep thinking that I, as the wronged party in all this, have taken the brunt of the hurt for your actions. Maybe I'm coming across as doing this for revenge and maybe that's what I need for closure. But you so wantonly forgot the difficulties I experienced after your affair and the months and years of therapy I went through to overcome it, that it just about blows my mind that you would do what you did. I am giving you credit for a modicum of intelligence that you should have realized what a repeat of that could do to me. That is why I believe you deliberately planned it. You have not convinced me it was an accident and so I'm instructing John Masters to pursue getting a divorce from you based on adultery. I would recommend you get yourself a lawyer."

"Adultery? Jack, I haven't been with anyone else since my affair. I swore I'd be faithful to you and I have."

"I'm going to base the claim of adultery on your affair thirteen years ago."

"Oh please Jack. Don't do that. I'll give you a divorce, if that's what you want, under any other conditions but don't make it based on something I did thirteen years ago It would kill me to have that report made public."

"I'm sorry Ginger. But that's the way its going to be I want you to suffer some real pain. Have your lawyer contact John Masters. I'm going to pack a few things and move to a motel until I can locate an apartment. Then I'll come back and get the rest of my stuff. Do you kids want to say anything about this?" I asked as I looked at each of them.

"I'd like to say something that I think will sum it up for the three of us." David said. "Dad I'm afraid you're being very vengeful to base a divorce on something that happened thirteen years ago and mom, I cannot see how you could accidently do something so stupid. That said, we wish the whole thing had never happened. I'll regret trying to set up a surprise anniversary dinner for you for the rest of my life. I hate to think I or any of us had a hand in your splitting. Maybe, when the dust has settled again you both can find away to get together again."

"David," I said. "What you attempted to do was commendable and appropriate for the occasion. Please kids, don't hold yourself to blame for it. It may have happened anyway at some other time. Now I'm going up to pack."

As I went up stairs Ginger sat quietly crying and our kids were trying to console her.

Later, I drove in my car to a motel near my work where I settled for what I hoped would only be a weeks stay before finding a more permanent place.

The confrontation was over and things were staring to reach a finale to twenty five years of a marriage gone bad.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 7

In the days following my confrontation with Ginger I found a furnished apartment near my work and moved in immediately. Then I went to my old home and picked up the rest of my personal clothing and other items and moved them to my apartment. Ginger sat in the kitchen while I was there and we didn't speak to one another. She just sat there and looked drawn and weary.

A week after I moved out John presented the petition for divorce to the court and a hearing date was set. A legal notice went into the local newspaper and I heard many of our friends who were unaware of our split were calling our house asking Ginger what was going on. The kids said she spent much of her time crying and began to avoid answering the phone. Somehow, I felt satisfaction that she was starting to feel some pain.

At the divorce hearing the judge did reject my divorce petition based on adultery as John had warned. Ginger's lawyer also got him to make a ruling that the PI report should not be made public since it dealt with the affair. I was glad I'd seen the possibility of something like this those many years ago.

In the following week I went down and got the old video tape out of the safe deposit box and took it down to a guy that had been recommended to me. I asked him to prepare a video that could be uploaded to a web site. I worked with him most of the day taking brief excerpts from the tape and pasting them into a composite video. The faces of the men were blurred out, but Ginger's face was easily identifiable. Finally, we titled it Ginger Enjoys BDSM and identified the city where we lived. Then we uploaded it to a popular, amateur porno web site. I felt it should be a few days before the word got around and it became general knowledge to the people that knew her.

Actually, it was a week before I got my first indication that the video had been discovered locally and an identity established for the principal actress. I received a call from a neighbor at work asking if I'd seen the web site. A friend of his had given him a heads up on it. I played dumb and pretended to take down the information on the site and thanked him for notifying me. After that I received a few more phone calls and I knew Ginger would soon hear about it.

I received a call from her at work and she was hysterical.

"Jack, what have you done? Jack, you bastard!! Did you have to do it?"

I hung up the phone without replying and felt a strange sense of satisfaction. She was finally feeling some pain.

Our kids were also made aware of it and I heard from them also. This was the part I wish I could have avoided. They didn't need the pain of seeing their mother displayed as she was.

"Dad, its David. I'm really mad at you. Why did you have to put that stuff on a web site. We don't think we want you for a father any more."

"I'm sorry David. Give my apologies to Sandra and Michael too. It was something I just had to do. I hope we can get back together again someday, because I really didn't want to hurt you kids but I saw no way around it."

"Please don't contact us again dad. Good bye."

That's the last I heard from my kids for almost two years. It really hurt.

I heard from friends that Ginger had a nervous breakdown and I felt some remorse, but hardened myself and submerged myself in work She had been bombarded with calls and solicitations from weirdos from one end of the state and country as well as foreign countries and it became too much for her.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

We resubmitted the divorce petition based on irreconcilable differences. She didn't contest it at all. The judge wanted to charge me with contempt of court for releasing the video to public view but John explained that the earlier judgement to repress the PI's report did say anything about a video. Since the video wasn't referenced in the report it wasn't part of the judge's order. The judge had to agree.

After three months the divorce became final and I just felt an emptiness inside me. I had the video pulled off the web site and let time be the healer that was needed to bring this episode in my life to a close. I continued to support Sandra and Michael through college even though they never tried to contact me.

Ginger was given the house in the divorce settlement and she sold it immediately and moved to a condominium. I heard that she seldom went out and was almost a recluse. She didn't date in her new found freedom and hardly saw any of our old friends. Her mother and father and our kids were her only real contacts with the outside world.

To me it was all closure to a bad episode in my life and though missing the camaraderie of marriage I felt content. I often wondered though if I went too far to give her pain.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The End