She Painted Up Her Face

"Who are you? Do I know you?"

"It's me, Brian, we were married once, don't you remember?"

She remembered all right, she remembered the hurt, she remembered being cast aside because she wasn't capable of giving him a child, but she was capable. How had he ended up here?

"I don't know you." She shuffled, smiling, uncaring, into the night.

She had only just dragged her body out of bed, she dare not look in the mirror this morning, she felt bad enough already without the added bonus of her care ravaged face staring accusingly back at her, when there was a soft knock on her door. Not knowing what to expect but hoping for the miracle that she knew would never happen, she opened it a bit to see her mother. Mum, what are you doing here?"

"I've come to take you home."

"No, not that, I couldn't face Dad."

"You won't have to, he's not there."

"Why, what's happened?"

"Can I come in, we have a lot to talk about."

"Sure, come in." She stepped aside to let her mother in. "Would you like coffee, I was just about to make myself a cup, god knows I need it."

"Thank you, yes I will." She sat at the table and cleared a space in front of her. She was silent while the coffee was prepared and for a few minutes after. "I don't know how to tell you this, but your father is not well, mentally that is."

"What is it, Alzheimer's?"

"No, it's worse than that, much worse. With Alzheimer's he would most likely had lost his memory, but he remembers everything, and that's what has caused his clinical depression. He is in a mental health facility, heavily medicated and on a suicide watch."

"But why, how did this happen?"

"It happened when he heard the news about you, and about Brian."

"What about me and Brian?"

"Do you remember after Brian had asked for a divorce your father accused you of infidelity?"

"Yes that hurt me very much, I had not been unfaithful and he chose not to believe me."

"He based his stance on the fact that Brian had told his parents that you had been unfaithful. He did that to shift the blame for the marriage failure away from him and on to you. His father told your father and, given the circumstances of his position as our Minister, your father believed him. We have discovered recently that you had not been lying. That was when he found out what your life had become."

"How did he find out? It's not as if he came looking for me."

"I told him."

"You what? How did you know?"

"I've known for some time, even before you were bashed and ended up in hospital. I came to see you by the way, although you weren't aware of it."

"That was you? I sensed that there was someone in the room that I couldn't see, someone who was not one of the medical staff. That was you?"

"Yes. I couldn't help you because of your father, he, as you would know, kept a very tight hold on the purse strings, so I couldn't help you financially, even though it hurt me to see you struggling. Don't worry about getting evicted, if you decide not to come home I will help you out with your rent."

"But how?"

"Due to your father's condition, I have an enduring power of attorney over his finances and I have decided to use some of it to help you. While he won't admit it, he's much too proud to admit to having made a mistake, I know that he will approve."

"Brian hasn't come out of this smelling of roses either."

"Have you seen him? No-one seems to know where he is, or doesn't care where he is like that slut of a wife of his, pardon the language, but that's what she turned out to be."

"I saw him this evening, he recognised me but I chose not to stop. He's sleeping rough under the overpass down the road a bit. How did he sink so low, not that I care?"

"When he told you that he wanted a divorce, he told you that he was seeing someone who could present him with the children that you couldn't."

"Don't remind me of that, after the divorce I had a little too much to drink one night and made love to a man that I met in the bar. I fell pregnant to that one night stand, so I knew that the problem was his, and boy did that knowledge hurt me. I even wrote him a letter suggesting that the child that she had given him may not be his, but I never sent it."

"You were right, the problem was his. He had made love to this woman at a Christmas party, she was a paralegal at his law firm, and she fell pregnant. She told him that the child was his and he believed her because he wanted to. They had one more child after they married, coincidently about nine months after the next Christmas party, and he thought that life was looking pretty good. That was until she asked for a divorce not long ago, and in the ensuing heated discussion told him the truth about the parentage of 'his' children. It turns out that she was something of a nymphomaniac and, and these were her words, would 'fuck anyone with a dick between his legs'. He was devastated by this, and the fact that she was leaving him for one of his bosses who was newly widowed, and a much better future prospect. He couldn't see past her kindness to him in his time of grief."

"The manipulating bitch!"

"He took to drinking heavily and eventually he was let go from his job following a couple of spectacularly dramatic court failures. He eventually told his father the truth who, showing true compassion, severed all ties with him, told him he never wanted to see him again. His father told your father and he lost the plot. It was so sad to see him struggling with his demons like that, and I tried to convince him that an apology to you would help, but he just couldn't bring himself to do that. So there you have it. What are you going to do, are you coming home with me?"

"Yes, this place was never a happy one, and now that I know that it was so un-necessary if Father had believed me in the beginning, it will be even sadder to have to stay here."

"Good, pack your things and I'll help you carry them to the car."

She found her room to be exactly as she had left it. "Your father never came in here so I kept it like you had left it."

"Can I change it?"

"You can do whatever you want with it, it is your room."

"I've been thinking, what should I do about Brian, he seemed to want to speak to me last night, and I just walked away from him."

"I can't tell you what to do. You must do what's in your heart to do."

She painted up her face and wished that for once the mirror would lie to her. It could at least tell her that the ravages of time meant nothing, that she was still a beautiful woman. But it was incapable of lying to her, it was incapable of airbrushing the reality of her life, a life once full of potential but now. . . .

It was only a light dusting of make-up, just enough to cover the scars, an understated lipstick and minimal eye make-up. She had thought of wearing a business suit, but that would look totally out of place where she was going, so it was jeans, a casual top and joggers. She kissed her mother good-bye. "You are doing the right thing." She was told as she left.