She was My Wife's Friend

I think it was the third time my wife went out that I finally decided I needed a social life too. I know it shouldn't have bothered me that she went out with her friends because she needed that just like I did but it felt like when I needed her most she just didn't have the time for me.

Well like I said I finally went out. I found some little bar not far from my apartment and managed to communicate that I wanted a bourbon. Surrounding myself with people I couldn't talk to didn't help my feeling alone, but I stayed and keep drinking. I never knew my secretary had been there too, but the last thing I remember from that night was her stuffing me in a cab and paying them to take me home.

After that Alana took pity on me and came with me one weekend to the same bar. She introduced me to her friends who laughed every time I tried to say something in Spanish. Alana started coming with me to places outside of work, taking me to the store to make sure I bought the right food, she even cooked for me a couple of times.

Alana wasn't married and she knew I was but that didn't stop me from kissing her one night after she cooked me dinner. At first she kissed me back but then pulled away and said she had to go. I didn't sleep at all that night thinking about her and that kiss. It felt like the first time I'd ever been kissed and I think woke something up inside me.

The next day at work Alana was a little stand offish, but that Thursday she invited me to a party her parents were having that weekend.

Alana's family was welcoming and made me feel at home, which I have to admit made me feel a little guilty because all I was thinking about all day was Alana and the little sun dress she was wearing. It was a white dress with a floral pattern and fell around her perfectly. It had a slight flare at the bottom that exposed her tan thighs when she turned fast. Sorry for carrying on like that, it was a moment for me.

Anyway, that night Alana drove me home and we sat on the couch drinking and talking and for the first time in 2 months I didn't feel lonely.

Sitting on opposite ends of the couch I reached over and touched her hand. When she didn't pull away I held it and slid over next to her. She told me we shouldn't just before I leaned down to kiss her. Alana was still warm from being outside all day allowing me to feel her without touching her.

I pulled her close leaning into her as we kissed. With one hand cradling her head I pulled the straps of her dress down with the other.

Sorry, I'm getting away from myself again. But Alana and I made love that night. I'm not sure I'd ever made love before that night.

I know it was wrong but we continued seeing each other. The conversations back home became more and more brief until my wife and I hardly spoke anymore. I can't say that I was upset, I'd never once felt with my wife the way I felt with Alana. When it came time for my wife to move down to El Paso she told me she didn't want to move down here and in fact felt like she didn't really know me anymore.

I can't say I blame her. I don't think she ever found out about the affair but it certainly kept me from fighting for our marriage even though I knew it was falling apart.

After the divorce Alana and I moved in together. Everything was wonderful at first but as with any relationship, it's one thing to date someone but it's another entirely to live with them, especially when you have to see them every day at work. The fact that I was her boss put an even bigger strain on things and it wasn't long before the same fire that brought us together tore us apart.

Anyway, that's why I did it and I know no matter how I felt for Alana it didn't make what I did okay. However, I can't say I truly regret it either. I'm happier now than I was before and I may still live alone but I don't feel lonely.

Like I said I'll understand if you don't want to talk to me again but I will miss our conversations.

Yours

-Bruce

Kristen didn't take long to respond.

No, I totally get what you're saying. I can't count how many times I've felt so lonely here and I know lots of people. What did Alana look like? Was she pretty? I've never been unfaithful but I can't say I haven't thought about it. So don't worry I'll keep emailing you.

While we're making confessions I have to say you're story about you and Alana's first time was starting to get me... I don't know but I liked it.

Thank you for telling me all that, I know it couldn't have been easy. It means a lot to me.

Love,

-Kristen

Yeah Alana was pretty, but it was more the connection I felt that made me fall for her more than her looks.

You lonely? I don't understand. I bet you could go to any bar, no scratch that, any public place and have the attention of every man there. I'm not saying you should take one home but it's nice to feel wanted, you could play with them for a while then send them on their way.

Yours,

-Bruce

No, whenever Carl is gone it's just me and the kids so I stay home. Besides I don't think I'm what anyone calls attractive anymore with my stretch marks and cellulite.

Anyway, being home alone lets me relax and do whatever I want. Most nights that just means a glass of wine and a trashy romance novel, and on nights when I need more I'll combine those with a hot bath.

Love,

-Kristen

I don't believe for a second that you're not beautiful and don't turn every head in the room.

It sounds to me like you need a night out. I know it's nice to have time to yourself but it's also nice to go out with some friends and just let go for a night.

Let me ask you; if nothing was out of the question and no one would ever know how you spent your night, what would you do?

Yours

-Bruce

Don't believe me huh?

Love

-Kristen

That last email came with a picture. I don't know if she was wearing clothes or not because the picture was zoomed into her midsection. The top of the picture showed the beginning curve of her breasts and the bottom was low enough that I could make out the top of a bikini line. Kristen's belly was flat and toned with an appeal only a mother can possess. Youth can make any girl beautiful but a woman that keeps her figure through the trials of age and child birth demands a respect no girl can summon. When women talk about their stretch marks as tiger stripes they all wish they were talking about Kristen's.

If you've ever seen a black panther in the sun light and struggled to see her faint spots you'll understand what Kristen's tiger stripes looked like, faint and thin they did more to accentuate the soft center of her belly than those featureless youths ever could. Her thin waist rose atop wide hips all framing her belly button as the center piece of the picture.

I spent far too long staring at the edge of the picture trying to will her nipples or pubic hair into view.

Kristen, that's the most beautiful picture I've ever seen. I know it sounds like I'm just saying that but I'm not; you are truly a work or art. It feels good to be right. Not since the castrati opera singers has there been a man able to resist you.

Yours,

-Bruce

That's really sweet of you to say, I wish Carl felt the same.

Love

-Kristen

I don't understand Carl. I don't think I'd ever leave you alone. Forgive me for sounding crude but our weekends would be for exploring every room in the house and when that got old we'd risk getting caught in public.

I'm sorry for being forward, but you deserve to have someone by your side is what I'm trying to say.

Yours,

-Bruce

Carl is a good guy but I haven't had 'fun' like that since we got married. Truth be told, sex hasn't really done it for me lately anyway. My shower gives me more attention than he does, lol.

Love,

-Kristen

Shower head? Is that what those baths are for when you read the romance novels?

-Bruce

No, I use the shower when Carl is home. If he's not here I have a little toy to play with. God I can't believe I'm telling you all this.

Love

-Kristen

You're not worried he'll be intimidated by the toy?

-Bruce

I keep it hidden in a pair of plain underwear in my top drawer. If he ever touched the laundry he might find it but even if he did it's just a little silver bullet.

Love

-Kristen

So what stories get you going?

Yours

-Bruce

This is so embarrassing but I like stories where the man is a man. You know where the woman is a little shy or hesitant and he not really seduces her but takes her. I don't know maybe that's bad of me to say in today's world but those are the ones I like.

No, I completely understand. I don't think there's anything more natural than a man with a woman. As a man I understand how strong our desires can be. We always have to balance that with making sure we correctly interpret what a woman wants so it's always nice to fantasize about just being able to take what you want.

Do you ever fantasize about that stuff? You don't have to answer that, I just ask because I know that I do.

Yours,

-Bruce

Oh God yes. I used to have this fantasy that I was home alone and a guy breaks in holding me at gun point forcing me to do things to him.

-Kristen

Well don't stop there you've got me interested. I tell you what, if you tell me your fantasy, I'll tell you mine.

Yours

-Bruce

Ok but if I tell you, you can't make fun of me and you have to promise it won't change the way you think of me, it's just a fantasy.

I guess I'd thought about it too much but it was one night when I was home alone and the kids were at my mom's for the night but I really kept hoping the fantasy would come true.

I took all my clothes off and just put on a little green t-shirt that didn't even cover the top of my butt. I put on an apron to cover my front and started working around the house with the lights on and the windows open. Nobody ever saw me but feeling my backside exposed like that and the cold air conditioning between my legs got me excited. I kept thinking what if someone broke in right now and forced me at gun point down on my knees. Then made me go down on him while he held my head down. I'd be helpless to do anything but what he said. Then he'd bend me over the couch and unable to control himself he'd go down on me, even licking my ass because he couldn't stop himself. When he finally stood up he'd force himself inside me, hurting at first but then it would start to feel good and he wouldn't stop until his legs got weak and he had used me up.

Anyway, that was my most vivid fantasy. Now you have to tell me yours.

-Kristen

Bruce told Kristen his fantasy. Hopefully he grew up near a farm because it was about a farmer's daughter. Maybe he was young in the fantasy too but either way I'll spare you the details. However, Kristen responded politely and told him she liked his fantasy. They both backed off the sexual stuff and started talking about a corporate retreat coming up and how much they were looking forward to going. This must have been the affair Nick was talking about but a week before they were supposed to go on the retreat Kristen suddenly stopped sending emails.

The email chain had gone on for about 3 months and towards the end they were emailing several times a day, in fact all the fantasy stuff and retreat planning happened over just two weeks. Bruce sent four more emails asking what happened and saying that he missed her, but Kristen was gone for good. The last email I read from Bruce was about a month old by the time I got them.

The funniest part about this whole thing is that my wife told me about the emails a couple of weeks later. Apparently Kristen felt guilty because Carl hadn't been stepping out on her; instead he'd been working overtime to get her a larger wedding ring and wanted it to be a surprise.

"Huh, I guess Carl's not such a bad guy after all," I said after Sara told me the story.

"No! Doing one good thing one time does not make up for never being there. He may not be cheating on her but he still leaves all the time thinking he's gonna be the next Tiger Woods. If you did that to me I'd kill you" Sara told me.

It was funny that she said that because I leave for months at a time when I ship out and she never even looks sad when I go.

The next month Performance Dance was putting on a revue. Mostly this was advertisement for the school but it was a chance for the instructors to show off and for the students to see their teachers dance. We bought tickets and made a family night of seeing Kristen dance. I was happy to see it was the same dance I'd seen her practicing before. Just like before I found the dance seductive and had to peak at my wife to make sure she couldn't tell I was excited but Sara was sleeping. At the end of the dance we brought Kristen flowers and she was happy to see us. I was glad we went because we were the only ones that showed up just for her, it was past her kids' bedtime so they were with her mom and of course Carl was gone again.

I found myself once again impressed by Kristen, she was excited about everything, new summer flowers, how well her dance class was doing, or just the fact that the sun was shining. It was always refreshing to see Kristen and I valued the little moments before Charlie's dance class when we could talk for a minute. Kristen's positive outlook and contagious smile always left me with a great feeling I always took home. However, I never found anything similar there.

Most of my days home I'm free all day while Sara's at work and Charlie's in school so I like to find new obscure restaurants. Dim Sum was a restaurant I'd been searching for the last two years and when I found it I called Sara to ask what she wanted. She told me that I should know she didn't like dumplings and didn't want any. I wanted to share my excitement with someone and since Kristen's office was only a block away I thought of her.

"This is amazing! Where'd you find this place," Kristen asked me?

"It's just around the corner from your office, a block off Poydrus," I told her. "It's really good huh?"

"I think I've seen that place before and always wanted to try it but I've never stopped. I usually just eat at one of three places for lunch so this is a treat," She told me.

Being able to share my find made it somehow more special and I went home charged.

I dropped by Kristen's office 2 more times before I went back out to work always bringing her lunch from someplace new.

My next voyage was to West Africa where I was able to get some interesting souvenirs. Sara was happy with the family tree I had carved out of ebony wood and Charlie liked the wooden hippo I got her but I really wanted to see Kristen's reaction to the ivory ballerina I got her.

I found an excuse to have lunch with her again my second week home and brought the ballerina.

"John is this ivory?" She asked me.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"John, it's very pretty but I don't think I can accept it. I just can't be okay with what they do to the elephants." Kristen told me trying to hand back the figurine.

"No. I understand; it's not okay what they do, and I'm not okay with them selling it, so I just took it."

"You just took it?" She said in disbelief. "Didn't he try to stop you?"

"Yeah he protested at first, but then we talked about it and finally he saw my point of view." I told her with a smile. Truth was I beat the guy to an inch of his life with one of the canes he was selling; I can't stand poachers and I can't stand people who profit off it. I took everything he was selling and gave most of it to the crew. I was lucky no one was around to see me rob him, but I had to spend the rest of the time on the ship so his friends couldn't return the favor.

Kristen didn't believe for a second that we just talked. "John you can't just take things that you want." She chastised me but now she was smiling and admiring the ivory figurine.

"John it really is beautiful but you shouldn't risk your safety just for me. Don't you ever worry that one day you're gonna get hurt doing things like this?" She asked.

"I don't know, I can't think of a better reason to risk my safety honestly. Besides, that smile of yours is definitely worth it." I told her and before she could say anything to the contrary I reminded her we'd been sitting for over an hour now and it was probably time for her to get back to work.

I think subconsciously I wanted to be around her and so I always made an excuse to take Charlie to dance class or set up a weekend where our kids could play together. However, at some point it became very conscience and I started dropping by her work to take her lunch or sending her a card to say congratulations on finishing her kitchen which was always a project for her. By the end of the hitch we were seeing each other a couple of times a week, enough to where even Sara asked if there was something she should worry about and she didn't know of half the times I had seen Kristen. I assured her there was nothing to worry about and she dropped it.

My next time home I almost skipped going home just to see Kristen. I had great news and wanted to share it with someone I knew would share my happiness. I'd just been promoted to Captain and finally had a ship of my own.

I didn't have a chance to see Kristen alone before I could tell her the news but she and her kids came over for dinner one night my first week home.

"John, Sara told me you got promoted to Captain this last time at work. Congratulations," She said from across the table.

"Thanks," I said almost dismissively. I had to consciously keep from staring at Kristen; any time she was around she was a distraction to me.

"So they finally recognized all the work you put in for them, huh?" Kristen asked.

"Well, not exactly. The captain was an alcoholic and passed out at the bar the night before. When the ship was ready to sail the next day, he was nowhere to be found. I called the bar and the guy that answered said he put the captain in a cab and sent him to some nearby hotel. So instead of calling the hotel to have them wake the captain, I called my friend who was looking for work as a Mate to come and take my spot so I could take the ship as the captain." I explained.

Kristen was the only one at the table interested in what I was saying and so the conversation continued between just the two of us.

"So you stole a ship?"

"No no no, nothing like that. I've had my Caption's license for years so it was legal for me to take the spot and all the positions were covered. All I had to do was call the company and explain the situation and that the ship was ready to sail, and they let me take it out," I explained now unable to hide my smile. I had worked hard for my new position and didn't feel bad about taking it from someone who didn't deserve it.

"I still can't believe you just took the ship, but I guess it shouldn't surprise me knowing you. You always seem to just take what you want no matter what it is. Still it's gotta be cool being the captain of a ship?"

"Really it's a lot more paperwork and phone calls than I thought it'd be but I think it was worth it," I replied.

When dinner was over I walked Kristen and the kids out to her car to tell them goodbye and help buckle the baby in the car seat.

"Oh hey, John before I forget I got you something." Kristen said reaching into her car.

She turned back around and handed me a small white paper box. Inside was a brass anchor key chain.

"It's just like the one you said your dad carried but you could never find. Well I found it at one of the little stores at the Riverwalk and thought of you. I got it before I knew about your promotion but it seems even more appropriate now."

"Kristen it's perfect. I love it, thank you," I said hugging her good bye.

I sat outside after that for a long time admiring the key chain. It was a small brass stockless anchor similar to the ones used on ships today and it really was perfect.