She's Gotta Have it

After a couple of hours, thanks to my help, all the boxes were gone, and all that remained in the apartment were three sweaty people.

"Why don't we all grab something to eat?" Andrew offered. "I feel like going to LongHorn Steakhouse."

"Good idea, baby," Sylvia said. "I'm starving."

"How about it, Levi?" Andrew asked me.

"Sure," I said. "Let me go home really quick and grab my wallet."

"Cool, we'll meet you out front." Andrew then turned to Sylvia as he headed towards the door and said, "Come on, Mom Tits."

I could have sworn that my heart had stopped beating right there. I was rooted to the spot, unable to move. Sylvia and Andrew paused and looked back at me with worried expressions.

"Something wrong, Levi?" Sylvia asked. "You don't look so good."

I tried to open my mouth, but no sound came out. The two of them gawked at me as though I was about to have a heart attack.

"Oh, shit!" Sylvia said, breaking out into a huge grin. "Andy, he doesn't know!"

It was Andrew's turn to start laughing. The couple came over and enveloped me in a hug sandwich from either side. In my confusion, I was finally able to move and speak.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Dude, it's okay," Andrew said, clapping me on the shoulder. "I know that you and Sylvia were together."

At first, I considered denying it, and maybe running out of the house. Instead, I looked over at Sylvia like a dumb deer caught in the path of an oncoming semi-truck.

"Yeah, I told him about it after that time you came over and fixed my computer," Sylvia said. "I'm no saint, but I'm not going to lie to my husband."

"Plus, I kinda owe her," Andy said. "I cheated on her five years into our marriage. To be honest, I didn't believe it when she told me you two. Maybe, that's why I was so cool with it."

All I could manage to say was, "Um...ok."

The Turners laughed again and gently escorted me out of the house and into their car. I didn't say much on the way to the restaurant; Sylvia and Andrew sat in the front seat of their car, while I sat in the back, half-expecting them to drive me out to an abandoned field and kill me. I felt somewhat relieved when we got to LongHorn, but I insisted on paying for our meals.

When we got back to our duplex, we said our final goodbyes. While Andrew got into the moving van, Sylvia handed me a photograph of an attractive young girl with dyed pink hair and a bountiful bosom.

"This is my younger sister Laura," Sylvia said. "She lives about half an hour from here. Andy and I told her all about you, so make sure you give her a call."

"Thanks," I said.

Sylvia then leaned forward and whispered into my ear, "She does anal."

She gave me one final hug, got into her car, and drove off, with Andrew following behind her in the moving van.