Shiny Red Stilettos

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How I found myself on the ladies room floor of a bar.
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So I was in a bar, up near Jersey somewhere. It was one of those places where they sweep up panties or teeth at the end of the night. It may have been hours till closing time but, well ...

You know the song "One toke over the line?"

Well, let's just say I went over that line before dark-thirty. By that point, somewhere around the midnight hour, I was ten or twenty tokes over the line and I had snorted the line. When I came to myself I was sitting on a cold tile floor with no pants. No underwear. My nuts on cold tile and my dick laid out like a dead snake skin. I was looking at my skinny white hairy legs, thinking about how to get my cold anus off the floor, when between my knees appeared a wonderful pair of gloss "candy apple" red stiletto heels.

And they were attached to the prettiest pair of delicate ankles. A sexy silver anklet hanging down one outside. A tiny gold cross brushing her red heel. Up my eyes went to smooth as silk calves, sweet enough to kiss knees, warm looking thighs I wanted to put my face in and then the hem of a short black skirt that was maybe an inch under her muff-line.

Bare midriff, vinyl halter top, cleavage to die between and a face ... oh, my, god that face! An angel from heaven was sent down to look upon us, sinners. She smiled a sexy smile, gave me a wink. Tugged her blonde hair ...

And put the steel point of her stiletto heel on the head of my dick!

Now I might have been off my ass. Stoned more than any night on record, to date anyway. But that fucking shit hurt!

I started screaming my head off. Hollering a ton, I'll tell you.

And then she pulled up the edge of that skirt and showed me a shaved smooth as heel slit, already glistening with dews of passion ready to be licked away.

"Want a taste? Then shut the fuck up."

Now, I am a world-class consumer of good pussy. I will more eagerly dive a muff-that looked like hers-than that fruit Greg Louganis would go off a board into a swimming pool full of cock. And I would do just as many twists and turns to get in there as he could.

But I had a steel spike on my cock!

Then she dipped a finger between those rosy lips and ran it under my nose ... I shut up. Pain is temporary, good pussy funk is forever. And she moved the weight off that foot just in time. Oh, don't get me wrong, I was crying like a baby by that point. That shit fucking hurt but you know what I was getting hard.

She leaned her hips towards me, and her smooth skin brushed my lips for a second. I leaned forward to chase that and just as I was about to get a taste.

She put the red toe of that sexy shoe on top of my left nut.

And grinned at me.

"You want to eat me?" She placed more weight on that toe. "Then I get to make an English muffin out of your ball. Still hungry, funboy?"

Yeah, I was. And now I was hard as hell, hurting like hell, and wanting some pussy like hell. I began to lick, she stood on me, and I scream into her bush even as I got that first taste.

Only taste too.

The goddamn bouncer came in to see what all the yelling was about. Now this place had no Patrick Swayze want-a-be. No. This was a white bearded off-duty rented badge from the local P.D. trying to earn beer money.

"Officer! This man tried to rape me!"

Oh, dear fuckin' Christ on a crutch.

So papa smurf grabbed me by my jacket, hauled me to my feet, punched me in the gut, spun me around and smashed my face into the mirror, breaking the fuck out of it by the way. Then he hauled me out the bathroom across the bar-I was still butt naked by the way-and tossed me out the front fuckin' door of the bar onto the wet sidewalk.

Now, I have been in some bad places in my life. I can look back on a few of those nowadays and smile. But being ass up, stoned, with a left testicle the size of a grapefruit and a hickey-sized bruise on my dick, on a cold, wet sidewalk, with the wind knocked out of me gasping to try and get air back in my lungs ...that just about tops it. Yeah.

Till the sissy boy, who came out the club, decided to try and get a free one in.

No don't get me wrong, I have no major issue with gay people. I've known more than a few. But when a total stranger drops down behind you and suddenly tries to take you to brown town, and you still can't fucking breath from the gut punch, and you have blood in your eyes... Oh, hell to the no!

So I'm struggling as much as I could. Which I'm sorry to say wasn't much, he was about to pop my cherry and what to my wondering eyes did appear?

Red and blue lights.

Who promptly arrested me, and him, for lewd conduct in a public place, Public intoxication and a whole long list of other things. And, as I was sitting on my hands-still bare ass in the back of the squad car-what do I see?

A perfectly shaped ass in a short black skirt, with long sexy legs, and the hottest red stilettos on earth walking ... off into the night.

Then they put "Dorothy" in the car next to me.

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