Shocking News

Short (and sweet), no sex at all.

+++++++++++++++++

As I sat there in the courtroom, waiting for my wife's lawyer to finish his opening blurb, I couldn't help but marvel at how my life had changed so much in such a short time. How I'd gone from being the proverbial happy married man, to the equally proverbial last one to know.

"Keep to the point Mr. Jefferies," the judge, the honourable Sir Winston Jenkins reprimanded my wife's lackey, confirming my earlier opinion of what a crusty old bastard he was.

"The point I'm trying to make your honour," he, Jefferies responded carefully. "Is that if my client's husband, Michael Jones, had been more honest with Mrs Jones, then we wouldn't have all been here in this court this morning."

"Ok counsel," the good Judge acquiesced. "But keep to the point."

Oh well; One up for her, but what did I care?

Jefferies bumbled on, intent on proving to everyone that my wife's actions had been justified, and that it was all my fault even, while I zonked out, losing interest in what he was burbling on about, my mind zoning back in to that day; the day that changed my life so tragically.

THAT DAY!

I'd had several appointments that day, but except for the last one my mind hadn't really been on them. How could it when your own boss had laid something that big on you?

"For God's sake Mike," he lambasted me when I sat down in front of him. "Are you blind or something? Do you really not know what's going on?"

"What are you on about Tom?" I demanded, surprised at this outburst from my boss who was also one of my best friends. "What have I done now?"

"Not you," he growled. "That bloody wife of yours'. She's been at it again."

"Oh shit! Who is it this time?" I groaned back, knowing what he was telling me without any further explanation. Knowing that Tom had helped me get past the last time that Jane had cheated on me. Advising me to get back together with her, but to keep an eye open for what she got up to in the future. Apparently something that he'd done on my behalf, better than I'd done so myself.

"Gerald Halfpinch," Tom stated, so matter of factly, that it left no doubt in my mind. "Do you know him?"

I nodded my confirmation and that I'd met the slimy bastard a few times, when we'd been to Jane's work parties. Tall, dark, you know the sort. I'd thought that Jane had more taste than that. Bad enough that she'd broken our marriage vows again, but with a waster like that?

Our meeting ended with Tom's warning not to do anything silly, though this time round, silly didn't include throwing her arse out. I had some planning to do and would take my time, but never for one moment suspected how deadly serious the whole thing would get.

--

"My client has never denied her actions," Jefferies' grating voice broke through my self-imposed curtain. "It's all a question of justification. Whose really at fault here?"

'Not me," I muttered to myself, and went back to my recent memories.

--

I sat there waiting for Jane to come home, knowing that this time, yes this time her actions couldn't be brushed under the table. Yes this time she'd be paying the price that I should have extracted the last time.

"Hi honey," Jane greeted me as she waltzed into our living room. "Why are you sitting here in the dark?"

"Waiting for you," I answered shortly, the tone of my voice bringing her up short.

"What's up honey?"

"Gerald Halfpinch is what's up," I growled at her, and her face fell, her guilt apparent. So guilty perhaps that she didn't even try to deny it.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it to go this far. It was just a bit of harmless flirting that we both got carried away with."

--

I was snapped out of my reverie by hearing my name called, and realised that it was my turn at last to give the court my viewpoint. But even as I walked, somewhat nervously forward, and even as we went through the formalities of swearing me in, I couldn't help but let those last few moments with Jane, filter through my mind.

---

"I am sorry Mike," Jane offered when I didn't answer her previous effort. "It's over of course. I'll tell him so at work tomorrow morning."

"No so easy Jane," I grunted, fingering the sheet of paper in my hand, wondering how I had the nerve to announce what I was about to tell her.

"Not easy, no Mike," Jane tried to placate me. "But we worked through it the last time, so we can do it again."

"Not this time Jane."

"Of course we can honey," she smiled at me. "I never had feelings for him. It was just sex and didn't mean a thing."

"Unfortunately this time it did Jane," I replied sombrely, placing the paper in my hand down on the table in front of her.

"What's this?" She demanded. "I haven't got my glasses. Not divorce? You must be joking. If you think ...'

"Worse," I interrupted her loudly.

"Warminster-on-Sea Regional Health Board," Jane read out from the unfolded paper in front of her, as she squinted at it. "What's this got to do with us?"

"Aids!" I screamed at her. "Fucking aids, HIV whatever you want to call it. That's what it's got to do with it."

"You've been tested?" My wife mumbled, stunned by my evidence of her obvious treachery, staring blindly at the still untouched treacherous paper lying there before us.

"What the fuck does it look like?" I shouted back.

What else is there to say or report on? What would be the point anyway? Jane, my wife slumped, not even asking me if it could have been me that had played away as it were, knowing full well that she was the only cheater in the family. Knowing full well the only place that the dreaded disease could have originated from, and what a potential death sentence, even these days, it could mean. Without another word she leapt to her feet and ran back outside and the screech of her tyres as she roared away, could have been heard a few blocks away.

--

"Mr Jones! Are you listening to me?"

Well that sure bought me back to the real, current world.

"Yes of course. Sorry Mr Jefferies," I responded, shaking my head to clear my mind.

"Mr Jones," he continued. "We understand that you discovered that your wife had been having an affair behind your back?"

"Hardly an affair," I mused absently. "But she was certainly shagging that bastard Halfpinch."

"Order in the court!" followed the uproar that my bald statement created amongst the assembled throng, and relative silence descended again, as I was instructed by the honourable worthy to keep my comments more appropriate.

"As you say," continued my wife's lawyer, eyeing me up like a shark might do so to its prey. "But you must have realised what effect telling your wife that she'd passed on aids to you would have on her? That she must have it as well?"

"Upset her I guess," I agreed, seeing no point in denying it. That had been the point after all.

"Upset her enough to go straight out in her car, find Mr Halfpinch, and while her mind was so disturbed run him down with her car in the street outside his office?"

"Pretty good result eh?" I grinned, and again the court went into uproar, and again order was called for, and again I was warned to watch what I said.

"You don't care Mr Jones?" Jefferies spat out at me. "You don't care that your callousness has caused a man to have to spend the rest of his life in a wheel-chair?"

My mumbled response that I not only didn't care, but was pretty damn pleased with the outcome, was swamped by the opposing lawyer's cry of 'objection', as he leapt to his feet.

"Objection sustained," the good judge ruled. "It's Mrs Jones who is here on trial Mr. Jefferies, not Mr Jones. Keep your questions to the point."

"No more questions," Jefferies growled, taking his seat and realising that he wasn't going to get anything from me, and the prosecuting counsel took his place for his turn, having some difficulty keeping the grin from his face.

"Just one question Mr Jones. Just for the record," he started. "You haven't actually got aids, have you?"

"I certainly hope not," came my rather pleased response.

"The letter from Warminster Regional Health Board that led to this unfortunate incident," he went on. "We understand that Mrs Jones never actually read it, so what actually was it about?"

"Nothing much really," I told the court, by now totally unable to keep the smile from my face. "Just a reminder that my appointment to examine my ingrown toenail was scheduled for next month."

-----

I didn't stay for the end of the trial, and it's still going on while I'm now sat in this pub down the road from where I live, enjoying a pint of best bitter, and the result will hardly affect me much anyway, whether they do her for attempted murder or not, we're finished. They can't convict me for telling a little white lie. Talking about affect though, that's more than I can say about the short skirt and skimpy top that Mary the barmaid's got on today.

I wonder?

Nice legs. Perky tits and a pretty face and all.

I wonder?

Going to have to find something to keep me occupied for the next while.