Shoes of Passion

It was on a Saturday afternoon.... we just came back from the park. We had been recalling the humorous people we had dated in the past and thinking what had come about in our lives that we did not expect. It was just a usual day of for us, the standard undertones of flirting and of just being friends. We knew each other for years. Neither of us really tried to make anything of our relationship, we were friends after all. There was however, an understanding of mutual attraction.

On this particular day the only strange thing was that we both seamed to be quite on the drive back. It was like there was an unusual feeling between us that we did not want to say anything about or even recognize for fear of change. Just before we got back to her place I mentioned that it had been awhile since we both were single. It was followed by and comical laugh. The uncomfortable kind, and a pause, a long pause before we entered the apartment.

As we entered we both tripped upon her shoes that had been placed in her doorway by her roommate as if to say, “When are you going to put these someplace else?” We laughed hysterically for a few minutes laying on each other on the floor. There was nothing unusual about this because we had been friends so long and never had we acted upon our hidden desires for the other. It had always been easier to deny these for we valued our friendship greatly.

But today was different. I had been thinking about all the what if's and feeling regret about knowing what could have become if only I was not so afraid to lose her all together. I had been thinking about these fears for awhile and decided this was not going to be another one. The cost of not doing anything at this moment far outweighed the possible loss of our friendship. I figured what is, what was, and what is about to become is not in my control.

So I whispered into her ear “No more regrets,” in a quite, calm demeanor, as if I were taking the whole afternoons conversation and wrapping it into a single resolve. I looked into her eye’s with all of my passion showing. I saw Her look back into me with a tense fear. One that said yes, but also no. A look that embraced our unsaid understanding of only friends. Yet it also said yes a look that embraced her hidden my burning desire, wanting and, needing Me. We both were like that for what seamed to be an eternity.

Then out of the blue the maintenance man walked by and said, “Are you guys ok?” with a certain laugh in his voice. We both got up abruptly and said “of course we are” and started to laugh a nervous laugh. As he started to walk away we closed the door. She muttered “That was close” in a depressed sort of way.

It was merle her tone of voice that made me become certain of what I must do. So I grabbed her around the waist and spun her around as she was hanging up her coat. I pulled her close to me and looked into her eyes . I ran my hand up from the small of her back until I softly caressed the back of her neck. There was such an intense feeling about us. There was a look of intense desire in her beautiful deep green eyes. It seamed as if there was a fire that lit up around us. I pulled her closer and softly kissed her upon those luscious lips as I was caressing her neck and hair.

The kiss seamed to be so powerful that it could only be described as our bodies had melded together. It was if we needed nothing as simplistic as air to breath. for we were giving each other what we needed to live. After a few minutes we stopped and looked into each other, as if we were looking into the others soul.

We both could not explain what just happened, but knew it was right. It was just so seemingly sudden that it was very unnerving. So I said., “Lets make some dinner!”. As we made some linguine in garlic butter sauce we never once mentioned what had just happened. There was an uncomfortable tension in the air that our constant joking would not appease. The kind of tension that makes it hard to breath with anticipation of what could and should happen.

As we were sitting down to eat and watch a movie I said “Disney, that won’t get us into trouble.” She picked “The lady and the tramp” in a rush. I wanted to say something. I knew that it was a romantic movie and I was consumed by feelings of passion and fear. I convinced myself that it was needed to surface these feelings we were ignoring.

So we ate our pasta and watched the movie, making jokes of how messy the pasta was. As we ate, as if we were children again, slowly sucking the noodles and letting them splatter the sauce in that pasta kind of way. We had almost returned to our normal joking when She pointed out the spaghetti scene in “The Lady and the Tramp.” I laughed and said, “Hey, we have pasta too,” in a Smirking way to say what I was really feeling. I started to suck down a long noodle and was pointing to the other end with a semi-smile, the best I could manage with a noodle in my mouth.

She surprised me by getting this sharp look in her eye, the kind of look that conveys a tiger like feeling, followed grabbing the other end of the noodle with her mouth. As she quickly took the rest of the noodle, I suddenly knew not what to feel. I had a feeling of apprehension, afraid, knowing where this was going. The tension of the last hour or two, knowing what could be and wasn’t happening , was almost too much to handle. As this was almost too much, the added tension of the last few months of flirting and wanting, but not being able to have. Brought us to a overwhelming heated passion that we could not have predicted or even imagined.

As we kissed each other, I felt as if there was nothing in the world that mattered anymore. It was if we were in a completely different place where there was only us. A place that only existed in us, in a way that one could only hope to understand , or even to try and comprehend. As the passion grew, we knew nothing, there were no goals or ideals placed upon us.

What happened, seamed to be directed by each others souls. It was if we knew what to do. There were no spoken words, no analysis of each others reactions or even noticeable guidance from one another. As I moved from he lips to her neck slowly with care, all I cared about was her. When I kissed her in different spots it was if I knew just where to kiss or nibble.

All I wanted to do was express how much I cared for her. That I would do anything for her. This was like nothing else before, she was not a conquest, it was that simply that I loved her. My instincts were to care for and protect her so she would never be hurt or wanting again.

It was we understood that we did not want to have simplistic intercourse, that we only wanted this feeling to never end, to never come to pass. We finally stopped kissing and looked at the clock and noticed that several hours had passed. We were still in a daze and our lips were chapped. As we sat there holding and cuddling we for awhile. We needed nothing more than each other. The sound of the TV hissing telling us that the movie was over was not even noticed.

When her roommate came home. She gave us intrigued look and stated, ”Finally, I was wondering when you too were going too figure this out.” Her roommate laughed a girlish laugh and said, “I don’t know about you but I am going to watch a Disney movie!” in a playful voice. This caused us to start laughing, we kissed again for a moment and said in chorus “We already did!”

As we watched the Beauty and the Beast, We knew that this was what we always wanted. I thank God everyday for that Pile of Shoes in the hall.