Shrinking Violet

This was an experiment in producing a story without dialogue, delivered as a series of monologues. I thought it was boring and didn't work, so I was going to shelve it but a few people liked it, so I hope some of you will too. There is infidelity and reference to sex but no actual bonking descriptions, so if you want something for the wankbank, give this one a miss.

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1. Jim Jones talks about how his wife started dieting.

My wife Vi Jones is a shy and reserved person. She is so close to our 8-year-old daughter August that she is almost a sister to her and prefers her company to women of her own age, which is her late thirties. Vi has been overweight pretty well forever and was steadily getting bigger over the ten years that we've been married. She casually tried lots of different faddish diets on a regular basis but without much progress in that direction. She was worried that our daughter would pick up her bad eating habits. She is quite short, barely five foot tall, and as she was a full size 28 she couldn't get clothes to fit her in the shops any more. We ordered a hell of a lot of stuff on-line. She wore mostly black and dark colours, feeling she didn't want to draw attention to herself. She suffers from poly-cystic syndrome, which was only recently diagnosed. This was the cause both of her obesity and relative infertility. Our Doctor offered her a course of 12 weeks with the local slim club as her only option out of her predicament.

Vi joined the local group of slimmers who meet at the nearest community centre early one evening a week, taking August along with her, so she too could assimilate the lifestyle of healthy eating. Vi took to the regimen so well that in her first year she reduced from size 28 down to size 14/16 and lost 5 stone. She won her group's slimmer of the year award and then went on to win the area title, too.

Now my Vi has lovely skin, has always had a pretty, no, beautiful face and long straight blond hair down to her waist. As far as I am concerned she has always been a looker. even with a few extra pounds, she was a lovely handful. Now that she has lost all that surplus weight, although she is still curvy, feminine and pretty well perfect. She has a very cute little-girl quality about her and the overall effect is that she is absolutely stunning. She has always been painfully shy, though, especially after August was born and she started to pile on the pounds. She never went back to work at the shop as she intended to fall pregnant with our second child as soon as possible and has always been totally absorbed in her loving family. I work as a cabinet maker and joiner in a furniture factory at some distance, about an hour's drive each way, and I earn just about enough for our family's modest needs.

Vi seems a lot more confident in front of strangers now, having stood up in front of the group and area reps, she doesn't need to take August with her to every meeting now.

2. Vi Jones speaks about her weight loss.

When the doctor said the only way that I could improve me chances of conceiving was to lose a lot o' weight, I was shocked. I'd bin real conscious about me appearance for a long while, but thought that as soon as I had another baby I'd lose it again, easy-like. An' Jim never complains about me size, he jus' gives me squeezes all the time. Trouble is he's one of them people what can eat whatever he likes and never puts on a single pound. The Doc was pretty blunt about me choices if I want to avoid an early grave. It was either a gastric band or I tackle the calories intake by proper organised dieting. Apparently in my case the NHS could help by paying for the first three months of meetings at the local slim club. I only summoned the courage to go the club when I found I could take August along an'all. I now know how much August'll benefit from the lifestyle change.

The guys and girls down the slim club were very friendly, and the club consultant, Wendy, was lovely, they had all been through the diets and knew what was what. The discussions after weighing-in help us keep our focus and point out pitfalls and traps. I started losin' weight straight away and won slimmer of the week the very next session, and 3 times or so a month after that for quite a while. I actually won slimmer of the month for about six months on the trot. So embarrassing, I had to stand up out in front and tell everyone how I did it. I went cherry-red the first few times I had to speak in front of everyone, but did get a bit more used to it. I still win the monthly award once every 2 or 3 months. Then I won me group's Woman of the Year and Slimmer of the Year, wow!

Winning them first two contests have boosted me confidence and knowin' I look so much better means I don't have to hide meself away no more. I can enjoy beautiful bright, colourful and fashionable clothes and show off me new figure. I love the gym work and feel so naughty the way the guys hit on me down at the gym. They are so much fitter than me scrawny husband. But bless him though, I do love me Jim, he's put up with me bein' fat for years so he should get the benefit of finally having a hot wife. Only drawback is all the loose skin which I have to tuck away in me undies, I'd crap meself if any of them fit geezers down the gym saw the real wrinkly me underneath.

The slim club has entered me as their candidate in the regional contest. Me sister-in-law Melanie is a hairdresser and she talked me into having me long hair cut into a bob. The success of them last two competitions has boosted me confidence and I have been putting in a bit more effort down the gym, adding road running and hot yoga classes during the day. It is so useful not havin' to go out to work. Jim has helped me get in me exercise time by adjusting his work hours to look after August when she gets home from school.

3. August Jones has her say.

I'm real prouda Mummy. I went with her to slim club for most of the first year and it was great how slim she got. It's a lot of fun going on Monday evenings, the ladies there all play with me and are so funny! I saw Mummy win the main prize which was real embarrassing! But I went with her a couple of times when she spoke to the other clubs in our town and she was so brave. And she won the next final an'all. Mummy's now doing lots of joggin' and training and shopping so Auntie Rosie is helping us as Daddy needs to work longer hours.

4. Jim thanks and complains.

I have to thank Rosie Gardner, Vi's younger sister, who has stepped up to cover for my wife when I have to work. I couldn't survive without her help. Vi's lost another stone in the past couple of months as she ups the ante on the exercise front and, as a consequence, has further revamped her blessed wardrobe. I think she can get into size 12 clothes now and all those size 16/18s we bought a couple of months ago have had to go down the charity shop. She won the regional finals as overall slimmer of the year, going onto the national finals in a couple of months' time.

She's now asking for, no, demanding, a mini tummy tuck operation, costing £4000, which will almost totally wipe out our savings. If she does manage to wheedle round me, I guess it'll mean her waist measurement will change down another bloody notch and she'll want even more clothes. I'm sure we've sent more old clothes to Oxfam recently than I've got in my own blooming wardrobe.

5. Vi feels good and wants to feel even better.

Bum looks amazing, great muscle tone in calves 'n' thighs. Can't stop lookin' in the mirror. That extra working'-out in the gym has really paid off. The only prob is me big flabby gut, what looks like a skin apron. I wanna mini-tummy tuck 6 weeks before the national slim club finals to remove loose skin round me belly. Takin' all me efforts to sweet talk Jim into lettin' me have it cos the lying cheapskate says I look fab just as I am. He don' wanna spend the money on me. Honestly, men! I need him to know he'll feel the benefit, if you know what I mean...

I daren't tell Jim that this op'll mean I can't have a second child cos it'll undo the benefits of the surgery. I think Jim would be disappointed if he knew, but I don't wanna'nuvver kid at my age, especially if I'll lose me figure again. Anyway, I wouldn't've nothink to wear, 'cos I've got rid of all me ugly fat clothes!

6. Jim comments on Vi's proposed tummy tuck.

She's off her bloody head, that stupid woman! We ain't got no money in the current account because we're buying all these clothes. Even bloody shoes! Now you can't tell me that madame's feet are getting any bloody thinner but she still insists on buying new shoes and boots that match her new wardrobe. She's no clue about what things cost or how long it takes me to work to earn what she can spend in minutes. She just prattles on about how much money she thinks she "saved" in the sales. Women!

Now she's got a bee in her bonnet about cosmetic surgery. This is not us, we are a working family, our kind don't indulge themselves with boob jobs or tummy tucks or Botox and the like, we can't afford stuff like this. It's such a waste. Wear a bloody corset, woman! The stupid thing is, that to me the way she looks at the moment is absolutely fantastic. She's always been beautiful face-wise and a nice comfortable handful to squeeze and cuddle up to, but now she has the pretty firm body of a model to go with it. For years she didn't care a fig about her appearance, back then she was natural, cheerful and funny, shy and appreciated anything I did for her. Now she thinks she is a bit of a looker, she's lost all of her sense of humour and is taking herself far too seriously. Everything what I do for her doesn't seem enough and she always wants more. She's fab for forty, just accept it woman, for crying out loud!

Four grand! Crazy! OK, we could just manage, but this would clear out our deposit account, the money we're saving in case the boiler goes or the car fails the MOT or we decide to have a holiday abroad this year. It'll take several years to build up those savings again. We'll need it for August's further education and our lovely girl's certainly bright enough to go to Uni when her time comes.

7. Vi, four weeks after her tummy tuck.

That really bloody hurt like hell and still bloody hurts. My main scar looks really horrid. I know it's under me panty line but still looks horrible when I'm in the buff. I've bought some fashionable hipsters and I need to take 'em back 'cos me scar shows. I still 'ave a belly button, though, 'cos sometimes they have to remove it. They've dropped the position of it by a coupla inches or so. It looks wrong, odd, d'yer know what I mean?

I've not told Jim that we can't have another kid, but what he don't know don't hurt him. I'm now 40 and we'd been tryin' for six or seven years to get me pregnant, but it weren't happenin' and it ain't gonna happen now. Not that Jim's doin' much about it though, he's always workin' and then too bloody tired to give me any quality cuddlin' time. He loves workin' so much he's taken on another stupid bloody job. He says we are short of money but I think it's 'cos he likes keepin' outta me way as much as possible. Missing sex'n I feel real sexy now to be honest. Had to abstain for a few weeks anyway, of course, 'cos o' the surgery but I'm so in the mood for a bit o' sweet lovin' right now and no sign of bloody Jim to do his business.

Glad I won the regional finals just before the op and it was great that the reporters and photographers from the local newspapers and even local TV wanted to interview me. I felt like a real celebrity. I can't believe I was able to stand up and talk to them without gettin' tongue-tied, I've actually got some proper confidence 'cos I'm right comfy with lookin' so good. Actually lookin' forward to the national finals in a couple o' weeks and gettin' fully back training and toning for a week or so beforehand. Might even get some nooky if Jim plays his cards right, or even wrong, given half a chance.

8. Rosie Gardner has her say.

My not-so-big-any-more Big Sis is so trying my patience, she really needs to get her sodding head out of her arse. I think Vi's being a right selfish bitch and I can't listen to her prattling on and moaning about her lot any more. All she ever says is "Jim won't do this and Jim won't buy that, and Jim's never about when I need him". Vi can't see that her loving husband's working himself completely into a frazzle doing two jobs plus two hours a day travelling, trying to pay for all her new clothes and accessories plus the weekly slim club and monthly gym fees. It's all her, Vi, Vi, Vi, I'm sick of it. Then there's all that expensive fresh food she has to have to keep her weight in control.

August's really missing her Mum 'cos she's out all the time. Now it seems Jim can't afford the time and definitely not the cost of going to the slim club finals up all the way up in Manchester, especially considering the cost of all the changes of clothing that Vi insisted she needed for that long weekend. I think Jim's pretty fed up with the whole dieting kick she's on. Can't say I blame him, frankly.

9. August misses her Mummy.

I love Auntie Rosie, I like playing with her, she's really great fun. Makes up for me missing me Mummy who's always out and me Daddy who is so tired all the time. Daddy does an extra job cleaning offices in the evenings, so Auntie Rosie does my tea, bath and bedtime story instead.

10. Jim on work.

Finding it hard to make ends meet at the moment. The credit card statements for the past few months have really gone off the charts. Vi doesn't have a clue about the value of money. The only overtime at work is Saturdays, as the economic downturn has taken its toll, so I have had to take a cleaning job for three hours in the evenings Monday to Friday at minimum wage. All the time Vi's swanning around like a fashion model, spending our money like water.

She's taken to visiting other slimming groups at least one evening a week and talking to them about her success. I will grant you, she certainly looks the part now and is a great advert for the club's methods. Vi has really come out of her shell, when she was overweight she was too shy to speak to anyone. She gets back late most nights through gym work, jogging and visiting other slim groups. August is really missing seeing her, though, and I'm missing Vi, too.

11. Vi wins slimmer of the year

It was an amazin' night. Mel cut me hair and coloured it a slightly lighter tint and layered the hair so it fell on my shoulders so softly and framed my face real well. I wore this lovely long blue silk evenin' gown with a split all the way up to the top o' the thigh. I felt so wonderfully sexy. It was expensive but I reckon it were worth every single penny, that dress. It's a shame that Jim weren't interested in com in' up for the three days and two nights because of those damned jobs of his. He has decided they are more important than supporting us at the contest. He could've hired somethink for the weekend if he couldn't afford a new suit and chip in a coupla-hundred for the flight up. I woulda made sure he had a good time.

Then, all on me own, I only went an' won the bloody final, didn't I?!

I felt so good, me sitting next to that 20-odd-year-old hunk Darren, who ended up as runner-up. He kept touchin' me under the table, makin' me feel real sexy, like. He is so tall and fit-looking, and charmin', he pretty well swept me off me feet.

I'm so enjoying havin' lots of publicity. But then I deserves to be worshipped, I've worked real hard and done well, everybody tells me so. Now here I am, sexy as anythink, but no soddin' hubby to give me the lovin' I need 'cos he's put both his stupid jobs before little old me, his better half. I feel like a goddess and none of me fam'ly gets it. I really worked inches off me butt to get here, I did. I don't think Jim's in my class any more, 'though I still love him of course. See, I'm youthful an' full of energy while he's become a tired old man. Me, I wanna go out an' party, party, party with this fab new body o'mine, an' all he wants to do is stay at home 'n' snooze till he goes out to work again. Borrrrring!

Alright, I do regret it this mornin' but I went an' lost me bleedin' head an' slept with that Darren guy las' night. Look, I haven't had sex for 2, no for 3 monfs and then I woke up next to that Darren early Sunday morning. I couldn't even remember having sex wiv him. I suppose I should have skunk back to me own room an' worked out how I was gonna make it up to Jim. But Darren was just lyin' there with his mornin' wood and I just wanted a taste an' one think led to another and we ended up doin' it all morning. Actually, he was crap in bed, but that's ok I had meself a tiny little bit o' fun, that's all. I still love my Jim, especially as Darren weren't a patch on Jim even on a bad day. Fortunately, Jim'll never find out, he's 200 miles away, an' I'll make it up soon as I see 'im.

Us winners stayed on another day so we can have our interviews on Breakfast TV, early on Monday. Just fancy! I have a full rounda photo shoots, interviews, an'all, that I am so lookin' forward to it. An' did I remember to tell ya I'm gonna be on the damn' telly?!

12. Darren sends a tweet to his 752 followers on Sunday morning.

Cross Slimr o Year Milf off bang list, euw! Me barge pole up fat bitch, us stoned. Revolting! She had a brand new tummy tuck, yuk.

13. Vi interviewed on Monday morning.

Appeared on Breakfast Today, which was so exciting. Piled into a limo with the other three or four winners, but I was the star turn, the overall Winner. They made us all up, blimey they really slapped the paint on. Wow! I looked like a bleedin' china doll!

The interview went very well until that TV breakfast bitch asked me about my overnight affair with Darren. What!? Apparently the prick told everyone on twitter what he had done with me Sunday mornin'. I said, no way! I love me husband, exclusive-like. I wouldn't do nothink like that to him. An' that prick Darren just sat there wiv a smart smirk on his mean thin ugly face! An' then they asked me about the tummy tuck. I went so red! And they told me the slim club organisers were taking back the title and canc'llin' the cheque 'cos I hadn't declared the op on me app form. They had a live feed set up inside our house and filmed Jim before takin' August to school. All Jim said when they asked him if he was aware I slept in Darren's room all night, he just said "No comment" an' August looked real upset, I don't think she knew what the bloody hell was goin' on. The Studio audience even booed me, callin' me a slut. I cried an' the studio cameras went off as the programme moved to another subject and they virtually frogmarched me out.

I keep ringin' home but can't get no answer. Jim doesn't have a mobile phone and we won't let August have one, she's too young. Sent a text to Rosie and she texted back "Slut bitch". Cow!

14. Jim about Vi being on the television.

Great to hear from Vi on Sunday that she'd won the top prize. Poor pet didn't wake up till lunchtime, those organisers must've worked her to a frazzle at the after party. She says she's being interviewed on the TV sometime in the morning, but she's not sure exactly when, though they're picking her up about five o'clock in the morning. Vi's never at her best first thing, and by first thing I mean about 8.30.

I got a call from the Studio later on Sunday. They want to interview August and me at home and'all. Want to come round about half-five to set up lights, sound and test transmissions. I rang Mum and Vi's mum and all our friends to tell them to be sure to watch in the morning.

TV crew came mob-handed plus a reporter and photographer from the local rag. They turned up at the crack of dawn. They all wanted coffee or tea, so I ran out of mugs and milk. I had to do egg on toast instead of cereal for August's breakfast. What with everyone getting in the way, we were gonna be late getting ourselves off to school, and they still weren't ready for transmission by the time we normally leave home on the school run.