Shy Eyes

I gasped. Waking from a reverie that I had created to paint the beautiful images in my mind of those eyes. I dreamt of her often…sometimes I could see her face, and yet…sometimes it was as if a mist had risen to block my sight. I wanted to feel her eyes upon me and this thought drove me to near insanity.

"Why in the god-forsaken holy fuck do I do this to myself?"

"How exactly did I get the notion into my head that I'd catch the eye of a woman that would make the ocean weep?"

"And what…is it about her that makes every fucking dream a playground for my hormones to play in?"

Her eyes. Her eyes of the darkest green.

I wasn't anything special as far as looks went, but I did keep myself in good shape with my martial arts training. I don't even know if I had considered ever using it as a method of self-defense, but I always felt so relaxed during the katas. There had been a difficulty of late to try and clear my mind. Each time my eyes closed it was as if her eyes would open on the other side.

"I've got to have some sort of mental condition…I really shouldn't be dreaming up fantasies about someone that I've never even met." I told myself each time one of those visions rose to assault me.

I'm not bad looking…I have to say that I do fetch a fair amount of glances from people. But I hadn't even been able to get my own attention in the mirror since I had begun seeing her in my dreams. When I could find myself in the mirror I'd always be telling myself what a fool I was. Oh well…I haven't ever been able to count on myself anyway. I'd just go about my weekly routine of showing up at the same club that I always saw her at and hope that fate would throw me a bone. (Not literally of course…but back to the matter at hand)

I had watched her as a stalker must surely watch his prey…but I felt no malice towards this woman. I wanted to become lost in the radiant pool that was the green depths of her eyes.

I had decided that the day that I grew a spine I would dedicate my soul to her existence. My mind screamed the words that I might have spoken to her if ever I worked up the nerve to speak to her. This would never happen, because I was safe in the shell that I had built. My assumption was that I would spend the rest of my life just wishing that I had spoken with her.

I had accidentally allowed my eyes to linger on her form for too long whilst I sat across the crowded club. I comforted myself with the realization that she could not have noticed my obviously lustful glances at her. It turns out that I was really bad at concocting assumptions, because the moment I snapped my eyes back to the solace that was my drink I heard something whispered into my ear that I remember to this day.

The words she spoke took the time from the scene as though it were a malleable force. I heard them echo through my mind dissolving my fears and opening avenues that I had only slightly been aware of.

"I've seen you watching me for months…you have gorgeous eyes. You want to get out of here and go somewhere a bit more quiet?"

If I hadn't been for a sudden case of wobbly knees I'm sure I would have upended the table I was sitting at. But I practically ran to her side to escort her out the door. I had felt this before…in a dream, but it couldn't measure up to actually feeling her delicate fingers placed gently upon my hand as if I could protect her from the advances of any who would consider tearing this moment asunder.

We stepped out of the club into the torrid summer air. There was a tangible feel that something was different about this girl. Before I could ponder what it was she gently led me down the street. We walked for hours. The more I knew about this woman, the more I felt how stupid I'd been for being a coward. We did get a good laugh out of it when she told me that she'd seen me watching her for 2 months now.

"I was getting worried…I only had one more outfit to wear that you hadn't seen me in." She said to me with a grin. It dawned on me that I hadn't even asked for her name yet. "What…?" I was cut off before I could even finish the question with "Jade, my name is Jade. I just realized I hadn't told you my name yet!" Was she reading my mind? "I'm Michael." I replied.

We ran through the gamut of small talk and were just getting into much deeper conversation when she said that this was where she lived. I was about to tell her to have a nice evening and that we should meet again some time when she invited me in for a drink.

I couldn't refuse, so I found myself walking into a modest and well-furnished apartment. She asked me to have a seat while she went and made some coffee. I took this time to take in my surrounding and my situation. There were a lot of plants and there was a very distinct aroma of lavender in the air. My situation was much harder to get a grasp on, though. I had thoughts of every shape and size racing through my head. My thoughts when from wonderful to wicked and back again as I tried to figure out what she might think of me. I must have been in a fugue because I heard her call out that it was ready.

She returned with the coffee and I gladly accepted the cup she offered to me. I began taking small sips from the glass she had given me. We began to talk about what we both wanted out of life. I think that she noticed that I was becoming a bit uncomfortable as we got into talking about past relationships. I knew it had to come up eventually if we had ever gotten to know each other, and I wasn't about to hide from my past. Her presence was also hitting me like a truth serum.

"I was in a relationship once before, and I can seriously say that I was sure that she was the 'soul mate' that everyone searches for. I had proposed and she had accepted and we were only 3 weeks from the wedding when one of our mutual friends told me that she was sleeping around." I spoke as if in a trance.

"You don't have to tell me all of this, I didn't mean to drudge up old memories that you don't want to hold on to anymore." She remarked to me with a gentle smile. "No, I feel like I've known you in a thousand different lifetimes. I want you to know."

"Well…I told her what I had heard and she was instantly on the defensive. I could see in her eyes that it was true. It was like she had some sort of sadness for doing it, but that it was what was best for her." I continued on through my story. "We went our separate ways with the understanding that we'd never speak to each other again. And that brings us to today…exactly one year from the day I found out."

I knew that she understood by the look in those enchanting green depths. She moved closer to me and I could feel the heat of her breath on my neck as she whispered sweet words of comfort into my ear. I looked over at her and quickly, but softly placed my lips upon hers. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I broke off the kiss slowly only to find her hands upon my neck beckoning me to return to her lip's velvet embrace. I was only too happy to oblige.

We gently allowed the spirit of the moment to allow our tongues to writhe around each other in a slow gyrating dance. The passion between us was escalating to heights that would allow for no respite.

She suddenly pulled away from me and stood up, leading me towards her room. I gently mentioned to her as we took what seemed to be a stroll down an endless hallway that I had never done this before. "I was saving myself for…her" I muttered. She nodded in acknowledgement as she placed me down lightly upon her bed.

We slowly began removing each other's clothing piece by piece. I slowly removed her top as I placed small affectionate kisses upon her neck and ran my hands over her back. She stepped back from me and undid the clasp on her bra allowing it to fall slowly to the ground at her feet. I watched as she removed the remainder of her clothing to reveal a body that struck me with awe. Perfectly formed breasts that were small by normal standards, but perfect in my eyes. Her entire body was well toned and firm.

She walked over to me casually and pulled my pants and boxers down past my knees and inched her angelic face towards my hardening cock. She began placing small kisses on and about the head before slowly taking its entire length into her mouth. I stroked her long dark hair softly as she moved rhythmically up and down its length caressing my shaft with her tongue. My body was crying out for release but I held myself in check by my sheer desire to please this woman as she was pleasing me. I heard the gentle lapping and sucking sounds that she was making with her mouth and I pulled her face up to meet me in a fierce kiss as the passion took control of our movements.

She stood above me as I sat on the edge of her bed and steadily lowered herself as if to be impaled upon my now rigid erection. She stopped just above me and kissed me again softly as she sank down onto me. I felt a warmth and tightness that I could never have imagined as my tongue slowly moved in an ecstatic unison with hers. I felt that I would lose myself inside of her depths as she came to a stop at the base of my manhood. We both opened our eyes and with a look of deep longing she began to raise herself back up at a slow deliberate pace. There were no words to describe the sensations that ran through my entire body. Small sparks of electricity pulsed through my entire body as our hearts beat in unison. She reached the top of her blissful ascent only to sink back down to the base.

She increased her pace and I felt the moist confines of her body as they pulled at the edges of my sanity with each stroke increasing in its speed and intensity. I began to moan in delight as we continued to be as one being. Our voices were as a chorus to the heavens as we screamed out our rapturous cries of bliss.

She suddenly screamed out and I felt her entire body shudder as I flew over the edge of ecstasy releasing all of my being inside of her. Again and again her body quaked as I continued to let loose a flood of hope, love, and purest passion into her deepest recesses.

As our fervor slowed we both open our eyes and stared deeply into the very essence of our beings. At that moment we both realized that so much had passed between them that could not be seen or felt. We spent the night together in each other's arms and felt exactly what that connection was.

I never had dreams of longing or sorrow for a woman that I could not have, but only dreams of a woman that had become mine and to whom I had given myself to wholly.