Siblings with Benefits Ch. 32bylovecraft68©
Author's note; Okay well first off a little error on my part. In the ending author's note in the last chapter I said that this chapter would contain Mark's last night with Samantha. Well I admittedly was looking at a different outline. Eventually down the line there will be a story line featuring Mark with Samantha but not in SWB. It is part of my next project. Sorry for the mishap. As for this chapter it is a bit of a bridge chapter that sets up chapter 33 which will feature a major revelation. As always thank you for reading! Lovecraft68
The blaring of a horn behind us startled me out of the past. Turning my head away from the old burned out club where my addiction had almost cost my brother his life, I realized that I could feel tears on my face. I turned quickly back to look out the window so dad wouldn't notice, and leaned back in the seat. I could feel my heart still pounding just from reliving that brutal night.
The car started moving forwards, and as we past it, I gave the old Wolves Den one last look. For many people that night had not ended there. Mark had ended up in the hospital for several days suffering from three broken bones in his face, a half dozen broken ribs, and a concussion. I had told my parents that Mark had been jumped outside a club in Providence. When mom had asked about my own bruised face, I had simply looked away and said that I didn't want to talk about it. Mom's eyes had filled with tears and I assumed she figured it was an abusive boyfriend.
While we were there Tommy had come by to see if Mark was okay, and I am sure to take the opportunity to see me as well, and told us that Rick was also in the hospital suffering from two broken legs. Alex came to visit as well, and to my surprise, Mark stuck with the story that he had been jumped. Alex didn't seem like he believed him but let it go. As I sat there I knew that Mark didn't want Alex to know that it had been my fault. My little brother, yet again, was protecting his undeserving sister.
Two months after that night Harold "Hawk" Roberts was found in an alley, severally beaten with the words "Every Dog has its day" carved into his back with a razor blade. Hawk never told the police who had attacked him, and upon his release from the hospital left Rhode Island and as far as I knew never came back. I was upset that Mark had gone that far but didn't bring it up. As he always said "What was done was done". However, as upset as I was that my brother would risk his future, there was a sick part of me that would have given anything to see the look on Hawk's face when he had seen my brother coming for him.
Some good came out of that night however, well for awhile at least. My brother's desperate plea still lodged in my mind, I approached Alex while Mark was still in the hospital, and asked him if he could help me get into the clinic. Alex had seemed genuinely pleased that I wanted help and immediately made some phone calls to set it up. The clinic was a ninety day inpatient and seemed like the longest three months of my life, but I made it.
During my last month, Mark graduated from Suffolk. I had to receive special permission to attend the ceremony and after party. I had nothing decent to wear and Tommy bought me a beautiful red dress and attended the party with me. It was a humbling experience, being there on the biggest day of my brother's life and knowing that when it was over I was heading back to a hospital room. When the two of us had a moment alone, I hugged Mark close, and told him how proud I was of him. Mark gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that school was easy and he was proud of me for sticking with the clinic and trying to help myself.
Once I was released I stayed with Mark for a few weeks. As in the past however, I knew I couldn't stay close for too long and took Tommy up on his offer to come back and stay with him. I was unsure as I knew that although I loved Tommy, I was not in love with him. Mark however, pushed me towards him, saying that Tommy was good for me. Tommy always treated me better than I deserved, but more importantly had been clean for two years and attended three meetings a week. I moved back in, but many were the nights I laid next to him feeling guilty as it was my brother I was thinking of. Making things tougher was Mark saying that we shouldn't sleep together anymore. I told him that we had always spent time together when I was with Tommy, but he said that maybe it was time that we made some rules for ourselves.
I was devastated, but after trying unsuccessfully to seduce my brother a couple of times gave up. Every time I saw Mark after that I would catch him looking at me longingly and knew he wanted to be with his sister, but held to his rule. I felt the same way and once again started wondering about the two of us. Mark had just passed the bar however, and had been hired officially by the firm where he had been interning. My brother's life was just starting to take off. One night, Tommy and I had gone out to dinner with Mark and an attractive young lawyer named Jessica he had started seeing. During dinner Mark and I had sat there with our arms around our dates and kept staring into each other's eyes. I could feel how badly he wanted me and could even feel myself getting aroused.
When we went back home, Tommy, as he had many times in the past, tried to make love to me. As usual I turned it into him fucking me hard and fast while I envisioned my brother. Two nights later I went to my brother's place, and without a word stripped in front of him. Two hours later I was lying naked and spent in my brother's arms, listening to his steady breathing as he held me close. I should have been content but instead felt that feeling of emptiness. I tried to tell myself that it was the usual melancholy of knowing I could not always be with my brother. This time however, it was deeper than that. For the first time since we had started sleeping together, I did not feel complete in Mark's arms. I could still feel that hollow feeling as if there were a hole where my soul should be. I stayed the weekend with Mark before going back to Tommy, whom I had lied to and said that Mark was very sick and I wanted to take care of him. I went back because I really had nowhere else to go and spent every night thinking of how unfair I was being.
The next week I went to work at the restaurant I had been waitressing at and found myself staring at the bar all night. Knowing I shouldn't, but unable to help myself, I sat down at the bar after my shift and ordered a coke. A half an hour later I was still there and the next coke I ordered was mixed with rum, it was only one, I told myself and it would ease the guilt of sharing Tommy's bed. One turned too many, and it would be a long time before I would even try to get help again.
"Megan, are you okay?"
I turned to look at dad, and saw with a start that he had pulled the car into the breakdown lane.
"I said your name a couple of times and...." He paused. "Megan you're crying!"
As dad spoke, he reached out and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked over at him and tried to think of what to say.
"Megan I'm sorry if some of the things I said about your brother were harsh but..." he trailed off then added; "You don't know Megan."
"Because you won't tell me." I said quietly.
I was going to leave it there. Let Dad think that that was what I was upset about, but with the image of my brother standing tall, the only thing between me, and an entire gang hell bent on raping me, still in my mind. I decided to tell my father exactly what I had been thinking about.
"Dad you know that burned up building?"
"The old club yeah." dad said still with his hand on my arm. "What about it?"
"I used to work there." I looked him in the eye and continued; "I danced and did worse so I could keep getting drugs."
"Yeah well, that was a long time ago hon, and you don't have too..."
"Dad do you remember that time Mark got put into the hospital?"
"Yeah you said he got jumped." Dad grunted; "Probably by some guy's whose wives or daughters he was screwing with."
"No dad," I said ignoring that last crack. "My brother got the shit kicked out of him by an entire biker gang, because they were going to rape me."
Before dad could say anything, I told him the story. I put more in there than I needed to, but let dad be uncomfortable. Let him know how bad off I had been while he was playing the tough love game. I told him how Mark had found me there after Alex saw me and how Wolf had given me coke to take care of his friend, and how they were going to hurt me. I described the horrific beating my brother took and how close I had come to being raped and Mark beaten even worse. As Dad sat there in stunned silence, my voice remained amazingly steady until the end when I told him my brother's words to me. How he had begged me to take care of myself. By the time I had finished, however my voice was trembling and the tears were flowing.
"You sat there in that restaurant and told me my brother hurt me!" I told him. "My brother was hurt defending me dad and you know what? He shouldn't have!"
"Megan," Dad started
"No Dad, I deserved it! I was whoring myself and stripping and making hundreds of dollars a night that went right up my nose! I could have left right away, but I wanted the coke. I deserved for those guys to think they could treat me like a pig because," I sobbed, "I was one!"
"Honey please..." Dad started.
"But my brother wouldn't let it happen and he should have! I hadn't been talking to him; I wouldn't let him see me because I was ashamed. Just like I was with you, but there was a difference!" I caught my breath and went on.
"The only time he fought with me was when I tried to make him hate me so he would leave me alone and he wouldn't do it! He walked into that club and tried to get me out of there. They... they beat him so bad..." I sobbed again.
"No you listen!" I snapped. "My brother loves me no matter what I do, and never gave up on me like everyone else did." I looked him in the eye and whispered; "Like you did."
Dad looked away, and I knew that was a low blow but couldn't help myself. I was defending my brother the way he had me all those years.
"My brother," I said. "Would never hurt me, he loved me no how bad I was messed up!"
Dad removed his hand from my shoulder, and facing the road put the car into drive. As he pulled onto the highway he said quietly without looking at me;
"You have it backwards Megan, if it wasn't for your brother you would have never been that messed up in the first place."
I rolled over onto my side, once again trying to get comfortable. I closed my stinging eyes, and tried taking slow deep breaths; willing myself to relax and let the sleep that I so desperately needed come take me. After a few more minutes of trying to delude myself that this would work, I opened my eyes and looked at the clock; five fifteen. I sat up, and with a heavy sigh, got up and stretched. As I did I looked over at the mirror, and seeing my reflection, brought my hair up over my head and, angling my hip, struck a pose.
It was warm upstairs so I had locked the door before I tried to sleep, and was only wearing a pair of skimpy red panties. Lowering my arms I cupped my hands beneath my smallish tits, and using my thumbs flicked at the barbells pierced through my nipples causing them to harden.
"Yeah Mark, are your sister's tits still your favorites? You want these titties?"
I playfully covered them with my hands, and turning away from the mirror said;
"How does it feel to want?"
With a sigh I walked up to the mirror eyeing my reflection. From the neck down I looked pretty damn good. As for the neck up however, unless one was into red eyes and dark circles I had definitely seen better days. Then again I thought, as I remembered my using days I had certainly looked worse. Turning around I looked over my shoulder at my small firm ass and shook it, slowly at first, then putting my hips into to it, began rotating it in ever quickening circles.
"You still got the moves there Raven." I said dryly, thinking that sometimes it was better to try to laugh at the past rather than to cry over it.
I turned from the mirror and walked over to the suitcase I had laid out on the rocking chair. Removing a plain pair of jeans and a pink Red Sox t-shirt I carried them over to the bed and sat down. I had told Mom yesterday over lunch, and again this morning that I would find out what the hell had happened between Mark and Dad. At one point that situation had taken a back seat to Mark's question of where we stood. After lunch with dad however, and seeing the raw hate in his eyes I needed to know. The problem was, that whatever it was, neither Dad nor my brother seemed to think I should know.
But why? According to Dad it would bring back painful memories and hurt me. From the sound of it maybe even ruin my relationship with Mark. In my heart I believed that Dad had to be wrong. Mark had never hurt me beyond that one horrific night, and that was a night I refused to dwell on, but could remember it if I needed too. Had there really been another time? Mark had simply said I didn't need to know and left it at that. Had he done something to me and realizing that I had forgotten it not wanted to bring it up?
As I stood and pulled my jeans on I found myself wondering even more. Could Mark's refusal to talk about it have something to do with the fact that he had finally declared his feelings for me? It would make sense. My brother seemed to feel I was already leaning away from him because I hadn't answered. Therefore to him, dredging up an old unpleasant experience could be the kiss of death. Except for his "voice" when he was younger Mark had never kept secrets from me. If anything I was the one that had kept some things secret, then again my brother knew enough about my past to guess the rest. The difference here was that I had a lot not to be proud of and since I had been sober and clean I kept nothing from Mark.
Mark on the other hand, seemed to be keeping more and more from me recently. Up until the last year or so the only thing he kept from me was the details of "the group" that he was in. But lately that had begun to change; the argument with Dad, whatever happened with Alex, and even the Winthrop case, refusing to tell me what his "Final Play" as he had put it had been. Mom had said Mark had seemed different over the past year and now I could see it as well. Ironic that at the same time Mark wanted to open his heart to me he was beginning to shut me out.
I slipped a plain red bra on, and after pulling on the t-shirt, pulled my hair back in a ponytail. Knowing how bad my eyes looked, I took a couple of minutes to put some make up on to cover the worst of the dark circles. After tipping my head back, and dropping some visine into my eyes, I grabbed the keys to Mark's car and went downstairs. I decided that rather than play games, I was just going to go to Mark's office and demand to be told.
As I entered the kitchen, I saw mom sitting at the table idly filling out a crossword puzzle while listening to the radio. I felt a twinge of regret that I had pushed my father earlier. When we had gotten back from lunch it was obvious to Mom that we were both upset. Dad had gone straight to his study slamming the door behind him, and I had sat down with mom at the table.
Mom could tell right away that I had been crying and asked what had happened. I told Mom that lunch had been nice, but I kept pushing about Mark and Dad had gotten angry. If I hadn't been emotional myself over the fight and that terrible memory of the strip club I would have known to stop there. Instead I told her how hateful Dad had been, even to the point that Dad had threatened to shoot my brother. Mom had tears in her eyes when I was done, as did I, and we shared a hug, while the two of us fought them back. I ended up losing the battle however when I told her that I only had a little time up here and I had really upset Dad.
Mom had wiped the tears from my face with the edge of her hand like she used to when I was a girl and told me that Dad would be okay. She would talk to him later. Mom confessed to me that she had heard Dad speak that harshly about Mark as well, but had hoped I could have gotten through to him. I told Mom I was sorry I had gotten nowhere and with a sigh she said not to worry about it. Mark would be leaving soon and it wouldn't really matter much at that point. Rather than keep going I told mom that I was tired and proceeded to upstairs and toss and turn for an hour.
I walked over to her and kissing the top of her head said I was running out for a couple of hours. Mom asked where I was going and I told her I was going to catch up with a couple of friends. I didn't want her to know I was going to see my brother again, it would look odd. I realized here I was lying to Mom about seeing him twice in a day and Mark was thinking we could play house with no problems.
I got into the car and as I drove towards the highway debated calling Mark. Part of me wanted to just show up and catch him off guard. Mark's games were always based on him knowing what was coming. My just appearing and cornering him about Dad would take away any chance he would have to figure out what he was going to say. Then again, if I got there and Mark wasn't there I would have to go to his apartment. I wasn't sure I wanted that right now. No, that was the problem; games. Although for the most part it was harmless, my brother and I lived to tease, toy with, and one up each other.
This however was different; this was real life, not an extension of our bedroom games. I dialed Mark and the phone rang several times, causing me to wonder if he was going to ignore me, when I heard him pick up.
"What is it Meg?" Mark spoke before I had even gotten out hello.
"Well hi there to you little brother."
"I'm with someone sis, everything okay?"
"Uh well not really Mark. Are you around in a little while?"
"Why what's wrong?"
"Not real happy with how lunch went with Dad. We need to talk."
Mark was silent for a minute, and I could all but here his wheels spinning. Finally he sighed;
"I have someone with me now, but should be clear in a half hour, so come now if you want."
"You have clients after five?"
"I put the word out last Friday Megan, I have people booked all week to pretty much say goodbye and to pawn them off on the other partners. But listen..." he paused then asked; "What did Doug say to you?"
"I'll tell you when I get there." I said hanging up quickly.
So much for not playing games I thought with a wry smile. Let him stew on that one.
I stopped and grabbed ice coffees giving Mark a little more time to finish up with his client. I arrived at Mark's office just after six, and due to the fact it was after hours, was buzzed in by the security guard downstairs. When I reached the third floor, which consisted entirely of Mark's firm I noticed there were still a few people milling about, but Mark's secretary Paula had gone. I told the security guard at the main desk who I was there to see, and he told me that Mark was still with someone and would be out in a few minutes.
Jim Howard the head of the firm came out and seeing me came over to say hello. After making small talk for a few minutes he said he couldn't believe my brother was leaving him. I shrugged and told him Mark felt he had to move on and left it at that. Jim said it was a shame, Mark was a great guy and would be missed. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I of all people knew that, except for attractive women, my brother was as social as a rattlesnake. The fact that Mark was by far the firm's top money maker was the real reason Jim was upset.