Silent Love Ch. 04

She leaned over his body and took a peek at his chest and the pillows. No excessive saliva on either. She had a tendency to drool on random nights; thank God last night was not one of them. Taking a slow breath, she got out of the bed. Since she was fully clothed she knew nothing happened last night. But why did she feel so disappointed that nothing happened, disappointed that she was no longer in his arms? Crazy, crazy, crazy, girl! Crazy-stupid-slower-than-a-donkey-girl, she chanted as she locked herself in the bathroom. Since it was only seven she decided to take a shower and go straight to school. Opening the door slowly, she tipped-toed into Dmitry's closet and pulled out a blue hoodie and a white-tee. She peeked at the bed once more, and then rushed back into the bathroom.

Although both the t-shirt and the hoodie were too big they would have to do. Going to school in the same clothes she had on yesterday and spent the afternoon in cleaning was a no-no. She hoped no one noticed that she was wearing the same black jeans. She looked in the mirror and smiled at the shabby image that stared back at her. Hugging herself, she took a lungfuls of air, breathing in his scent. Hmm... always nice, she thought to herself as she shoved her face deeper into the hoodie. She was sure he would not mind her wearing his clothes. With that much in his closet he would not miss it, plus she would return them anyway.

Walking out of the bathroom, she found the bed empty. Guessing he was somewhere in the house, Zoya bit her lower lip. She was hoping he would sleep until she left. Sighing aloud she rolled her clothes and stuffed them inside her purse, while looking for her shoes.

Finding them beside the bed, she put them on, and got her cell phone out. Texting Shahid to tell him she slept at Elena's place and that she was going to school from there, she walked out to the living room. Not finding Dmitry there, she walked into the kitchen to find him sitting at the table reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee in one hand. Well this is going to be awkward, as usual. "I am leaving." Why you have to tell him when you could have just left? She scolded herself as she waited for him to speak. He looked up from the newspaper to her and waved with his cup to the fridge.

"You have time to eat," saying no more he went back to his newspaper. Well I guess this is the best invitation I am going to get. May as well since I don't have money to spend on school food anyway. Walking into the kitchen, she placed her bag on the chair across from him, and went about getting breakfast. She tried to find an explanation for his different moods as she moved around the kitchen, and came up blank. Rich man with a 20-year-old son. He can get whatever he wants from the world, and he was blessed with good looks and intelligence. There had to be an explanation for his attitudes toward her and his cool demeanor. Most people usually liked her, she was not Miss Popular, but she got along with people. He completely ignored the fact that they almost had sex at the club, stupid vodka's fault, and now seemed to be ignoring the fact that they spent the night sleeping in each other's arms. He seemed so unaffected. Like he can control what he feels, and let it out to the world whenever he pleases. Hmm...why the change in moods though?

She placed her cup of tea and plate of peanut butter sandwich on the table and took a seat. She took a few bites from her sandwich and sipped her tea. He looks so cute early in the morning. It must be the messy, bed hair making him look much younger. Still not looking at her, he continued to read the newspaper, and took a sip of his coffee every once in a while. Zoya was almost done, when he spoke behind his paper: "What did you say to Erik?"

"Nothing. He does not know I work for you." No reply to that. "And plus when I told him I worked, he never asked where." Zoya forced herself not to go on any longer as he continued to read, and not reply to her explanation. After a few minutes she got up went to the sink, cleaned her plate and cup, and went to pick up her bag up.

"I'll return the hoodie and shirt next time," expecting no reply she turned to leave. He got up from his chair. She stopped in her tracks, but did not turn around as he moved toward her. Her heart jumped as he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her body against his. Giving her a hug, he put his chin on top of her head. Slowly he slipped his hands under her shirt, placed his hands flat on her belly, took a deep breath, and spoke against her hair.

"It can't happen." Unable to speak Zoya nodded her head understanding what he was saying. She let her body lean into his without thinking. She felt like thousands of stones were being forced shoved down her stomach and cursed her eyes for going a little teary over his dead set tone. Maybe she felt more than she ever thought possible; dreamed dreams she never thought would come true, but entertained anyway. She shivered and exhaled a long breath as he started rubbing her belly. Dmitry whispered something in Russian as he kissed her ear and moved his mouth down to her neck. He hated to contradict himself, but for some reason he disliked seeing her in the state he put her in less than a blink of an eye. Everything seemed to be a contradiction since he set his eyes on her; so what was one more? What was it about this girl that made him so weak? Why do the expressions on her face make him do things he normally would not do?

"Sorry, I mean yeah, I completely understand. It would be ridiculous and idiotic for us to let anything happen. There's nothing between us anyway, but bad decisions on my part." She tried to laugh it off and pull away from his warm body, but she could not break away from his hold. She could feel his chuckle more than hear it; what was amusing, she did not know?

"We are clear," trying to move away again with no success.

"Da," he whispered as his large hands moved slowly under her shirt to cup her breasts and squeeze. Breathing heavily she turned to face him. Dmitry leaned down and nuzzled her cheeks. Her bag falls as she wrapped her arms around him, meeting his lips for a kiss. They both sighed as their lips met. What are we doing?

He must have brushed his teeth in the other bathroom, she thought. His mouth tasted like coffee and mint. She let out a deep moan as he squeezed her ass and his tongue meet hers once more. Lifting her up a few inches above the ground Dmitry held her chin with one hand to control her movement and held her up with the other. She curved her arms around his neck as they deepened their kiss. He devoured her mouth and she paid him back in kind. By the time they pulled apart her lips were swollen and belonged to him more than they did to her.

She let out a strangled sound as he slowly drifted from her lips to kiss her neck and shoulders. Zoya grabbed his hair and pulled him closer. She kissed his neck and playfully bit his ear. Shit they were about to finish what they started at the club. Fuck school and everything else, she thought as she tried to get at his lips once more.

Without a warning he suddenly disengaged her from him.

"What the...." Holding her steady as she tried to adjust to being placed down so fast. Dmitry placed the hood back on her head, grabbed her bag from the floor, and gently pushed her out the kitchen into the living room. He zipped up her hoodie as they got to the door leading to the elevator and placed her bag over her shoulder. Still confused, Zoya looked up at him in puzzlement as he pulled her along and out the condo.

"Zoya," he said in farewell as he pushed her into the elevator.

"Dmitry," she replied as her heart gave a kick at hearing him say her name for the first time.

"Keep them. You look good," he said just as the elevator closed. Zoya laughed and could not stop a big grin from appearing on her face. She couldn't understand the man, first he says nothing can happen between them, kisses her like there is no tomorrow, and now compliments her. They say Dmitry Bazin was a genius in his work but they never said he was a crazy, mad man too. What the heck had she gotten herself into?

***************

"My professors are killing me! Three 20 page research papers, four tests, a shit load of quizzes, and a whole bunch of meaningless homework."

"Welcome to the club," Zoya smiled at Erik as she took a sip from her smoothie.

"I curse the human who was stupid enough to think that in order to gain knowledge one has to be graded. Fucking assholes all of them. My father is no help either. The bastard wants nothing but perfection." Zoya let him steam off and ignored the odd looks the people in the café were giving them, as Erik's accent thickened and his voice rose with every word he spoke.

"I swear that man is worse than Hitler and Stalin combined. My own hell on earth. All I hear from him is do well in school Erik... don't disappoint me Erik... you are where you are because of me Erik. The worst part is he does not even speak out loud; he just stands there and gives me that cold I-know-everything look. It is worse than living on the streets of Moscow. This fucking school, that whore of a father, and this fucking country; I hate it all. I am going back to Russia." He stopped, took a few deep breaths and looked at her. She smiled and shook her head at him.

"Don't lose it. We still have a few more weeks before finals. Mother Russia will wait for you." She advised in a failed attempt to imitate his accent. She leaned over and ruffled his hair. He laughed at her and blew the hair she messed with off of his forehead.

"Want to do an all-nighter with me this Friday? We can study and just chill," he said as he took a sip from his latte.

"Sure, after I get off work I will come over to your place. Listen, I have to tell you something."

"What up ZK?" He asked as he placed his cup down and looked at her weary expression.

"Umm...I never told you where I worked and what I did. You never asked and so I never bothered, but recently I found out something and it's only right I tell you." She paused and cleared her throat a few times.

"Prostitution? Stripper?" He laughed out loud as she aimed her smoothie in his direction.

"Bitch, please!"

"Well out with it, whatever it is it can't be that bad." He said with laughter still in his voice.

"I work for your dad," she said taking a slurp from her smoothie. He was quiet for almost two minutes. His expression blank, he seemed to have forgotten that she was sitting in front of him. Zoya fidgeted in her sit waiting for him to speak.

"Doing what?" He asked softly. She never heard that sober deadly quite tone from him before. It gave her a pause.

"I...um...clean his apartment." His expression seemed to have changed within seconds after the words left her mouth. Seeing the change in expression, Zoya continued in a fast pace to finish her explanation. "I know I should have told you as soon as I found out my employer was, but I was too embarrassed to let you know that I was nothing more than a housekeeper. Less actually now I think about...I don't get health insurance and shit. I am sorry!!"

"Wahoo... it's all cool Zoya. I am just surprised. I am your friend, you know you can tell me anything and it's going stay between just us two."

"I know. Sorry. I didn't know when I took the job he was your dad. I mean y'all don't have the same last name or anything."

"I was given my mother's at birth. Oh that explains a lot! Knew something was off that night at the club even if you were drunk. That was the night you knew, right?" He asked as he took a bit from a croissant he brought with his coffee. Zoya noticed that the smile was back on his face.

"Yeah, I had the shock of my life alright and I was not drunk, just tipsy" she said as she pondered about his sudden change in moods.

"Dmitry can be a little motherfucker, just don't cross him and you will be fine. Other than being too smart for his own good, my father is a complete loser when it comes to human things. I don't think he even has any friends. Business partners, but friends eeh...Sad but that's the father I have," he said with a laugher in his voice. The way he talked about Dmitry got under her skin, she couldn't explain why. Dmitry was his father so he had more right than anyone to talk that way about him, but she did not like his tone. She almost spoke up to defend him, but decided against it at the last minute.

"SOOO, we cool?" She asked in hope the subject will move away from Bazin.

"Oh I am cool, you on the other hand are not so..." He trailed off as he got his backpack and coffee cup, ready to leave.

"I was cool before you were born or knew what cool was, mister," She yelled at his retreating back.

"At your age I am sure you were and did ma'am!" Laughing, he tried to run out of the café. Zoya caught up to him at the door and smacked him upside the head. As they walked out into the street he placed his arm around her shoulder and she wrapped her arm around his waist. He looked down at her as they walked, talked, and laughed back to campus.

************

Maybe it was a dream she thought as she peeked inside once more. She didn't think she ever seen that many serious guys in black suits in real life before, and Dmitry was in the center of it all. She listened in on the ongoing conversation, more like the argument between them, but could not understand a word they were saying. It seemed like they were speaking rhetoric in a language she could not decipher. The meeting room was intimidating enough, but the fact that it was full of the most important business people in the state of Georgia and maybe the country made Zoya freeze in her tracks at her attempt to sneak in and have a word with Mr. Bazin. What were they doing in Dmitry Bazin's office, and why was she such a fool in thinking she could sneak in past the secretary and everything would be fine?

At that moment, with wide eyes focused on him in the middle of the crowed discussing important issues with these men, she realized how powerful he was and his status. Maybe it was their personal interactions, but she never fully realized or thought about the amount of power he held and its source. She knew he owned several businesses, but how he came about it she did not know. Was she too quick to judge him? She realized he was a book she had not even opened yet. A book whose title she read and mistook as the full content.

She was in downtown cleaning a customer's apartment when she decided to stop by and tell him about Erik and their conversation, and get him to sign a check he left for her but forgot to sign. It was a great mistake to come to his office unannounced. Thank God the men were too busy talking to look at the door. The best solution was to confidently walk slowly away and make sure no one sees her. No one would ever know she was there. Maybe no one would notice her dirty sneakers and jeans.

Taking a deep breath she tried to close the door just as Dmitry's eyes moved from the documents he was scanning and settled on her. "Well, fuck" she thought as she closed the door shut just as he stood up in the crowd, still holding her gaze. Walking quickly past his secretary and his bodyguard Geo, who glanced at her without shock. He knew she was there, and did not say a word. She almost ran toward the elevator, stopping in her tracks as she saw the crowd of workers waiting. She had to get out of there quickly. Deciding she would take the stairs, she moved toward the door labeled 'stairs'.

Just as she was about to open the door to the stairs a hand pulled her into a big, empty office. Turning around she found her face smashed into his chest. She knew it was Dmitry; no one had a smell like his. She was very tempted to just press her nose to his chest and breath. Moving quickly away from him, she attempted a small smile.

"Well this is a surprise."

"Why are you here?"

"I was around." He moved toward her quietly. "And I thought I stop by and talk. Plus you forgot to sign my check, but seeing you're busy I was just leaving," she rushed as she tried to pass him to get to the door. He grabbed her by the arm and using his body he pushed her tightly against the door.

"What is it that you want?" His voice did not change in tone. They could be discussing the weather. She tried to answer him but no sound came out. His hold was a little painful, but what worried her more was her reaction to feeling his body against hers and how close his face was to hers. Her body was short circuiting. She was never one who liked to play rough, but she wanted him right there and then to press her harder against the door, leaving no space between them. She would let him have his way with her. Her thoughts shocked her.

"I talked to Erik and...."

"Do I look like I care what you do?" he cut her off. "I hire you to clean my apartment. Don't come to my office unannounced and stay out of my personal life. Understand?" Why was she staring at him with pain in her eyes? He promised her nothing and they had nothing together. Those moments of craziness did not give her a right to look into his personal business. Even if they were dating she had no right to come to his office without his permission. They had to stop and he needed to stop leading her on. It was never his intention. Maybe he was being too harsh with her, but she would be better off with a boy she could experience new things with. Someone who could give her what she wanted and needed. He needed to act his age and stop this little madness he created with her.

"Of course, I am sorry. I don't know what I was thinking...I umm..." her voice stopped working as she looked down and away from his all-seeing eyes. "I have to go," she whispered as she tried to move past him once again trying to ignore the pain his words caused. She should feel nothing. She was the employee and he was her boss. They lived in two different realms that could not be bridged.

He did not move as she struggled to get free. He needed to let her go. Why was he not letting her go? "Listen to me," he commanded as he lowered his head and placed his forehead against hers. "I need you to understand. Can you try to understand?"

"Understand what?" she whispered to his face.

"You...we...it is dangerous. You can't be here...in my life. You will only get hurt. Do you understand?" He asked softly as he placed one hand on her hip and the other against the door. He knew he made no sense, but needed her to say she understood.

"But...I don't want..."

"Say you understand."

"I understand," she whispered as she looked into his gray eyes. "I need to go," she breathed out as her arm went around his waist. He nodded but did not move.

"What are we doing sweetheart?" his voice was so soft and tender against her cheek she thought she was hearing things. She never thought he would speak to her with that much emotion in his voice. What were they doing? Why was separating so hard when they both knew it was for the best? Was this the last time they were going to be like this?

"Goodbye," he said softly as he moved away from her. Turning around the face the door she let out a small breath and opened the door. She came face-to-face with his secretary Kristen. Kristen blinked at her for a few seconds and then looked past her to their boss.

"The Governor and Senator Williams are online for you, sir." Zoya heard no more as she quickly walked past Kristen and headed toward the elevator.

*********

"You need to lose your virginity before the semester ends. You just need to find a guy and do it."

"Are you crazy?! Don't listen to Lena. Think about all the disgusting diseases you can get."

"Once its done you are going to feel so free."

"Do it with someone special, Zoya. Not just any random dude."

"I lost mine when I was drunk in high school and I am perfectly fine. Sex is amazing and you are going to regret it if you wait too long," Elena whispered to Zoya across the table.