Silent Night, Hot Night

It had been a crazy month. As the days melted away toward Christmas, I had decided that tonight, no matter what, I was going to do my Christmas cards. It was something new for me. I considered saying screw it. But this was my first Christmas since I had started living full time as a female and I wanted to at least send them to my close friends who had been so supportive. I didn't seem to have as many friends as I used to so it would probably go quickly.

When I had arrived home from work, I plopped everything down in the kitchen and headed to the bedroom. Quickly I undressed, tossing everything in a chair by the bed, including my bra. It felt good to get out of that confining halter. It's not that my breasts are that large. I probably didn't even need to wear one but they were already dealing with my transitioning at work. Going braless was probably not a good idea. Standing there in just my panties, I looked at myself in the mirror. Except for the slight bulge where there shouldn't be one, I looked pretty good. My hips were filling out and my breasts had a nice shape. At some point I would have to decide if I wanted to help things along with plastic surgery, but for now I was pleased. I slipped on a pair of black yoga pants, purple tunic knit top and some black slippers.

Back down to the kitchen, poured myself a big glass of wine and found the cards in a bag on the kitchen counter. I gathered everything together and headed to the living room. I was ready to get started. To set the mood, I put on some Christmas music. After settling down on the couch, I wrapped a blanket around my legs and got my laptop to use as a writing table. Briefly, I thought about just e-mailing everyone and being done with it. I rapidly dismissed that idea because I really wanted it to be more personal.

I was on maybe my fifth card when I heard something outside. It was a different Christmas song than what I was playing. I got up, went to the door and when I opened it there was a group of about ten people, all bundled up, singing "O Little Town of Bethlehem". A smile came to my face. It had been a very long time since I had heard carolers going around neighborhoods.

They finished and immediately launched into a very lively "Jingle Bells". I felt a warm glow creep over me as I thought back to my childhood and the times I had went caroling. I happened to notice a young gentleman in the back; he seemed to be staring straight at me. When he noticed me looking at him, he looked away. Was it more than he just was looking my way? I decided it was just my loneliness putting ideas in my head.

When they finished the song, I took the opportunity to speak. "Bravo! That was great. What brings you out on this cold evening?"

A lady in the front spoke up, "We are workers and friends from New Chance. It is an organization that helps abused women by providing a place for them to go. We wanted to spread a little holiday cheer and maybe raise some support for our group home. This time of the year is especially hard on the woman and children that are trying to start over."

"That is so wonderful. Will you excuse me a moment?" I went to the kitchen where I had dropped my purse. I returned and handed her a ten. "Here. I hope this helps make someone's Christmas a little brighter. May I ask for a request?"

"Of course," she replied.

"I would love to hear "Silent Night"."

They began singing and I noticed that the young man, once again, seemed to be more focused on me than actually singing. It unnerved me a little because it seemed to be more than a casual glance.

As they finished the song, they turned and started down the walk. They began singing another song as they departed. I closed my door, thought how nice that had been and headed back to my cards.

It was probably about an hour later, I heard a light tapping on the door. Who could that be? I went to the door and peaked out the side light. There stood the young man from the group. I couldn't imagine why he was standing there. The uneasy feeling returned. My first instinct was to back away, act like I hadn't heard anything but I was sure he saw me look. Besides, I was a little curious to know why he was there.

I opened the door. "Hello. Is there something I can do for you?" I spoke rather curtly, trying to sound annoyed.

He seemed rather shy. He kept his eyes down, only briefly glancing at me. "I don't know if you remember me. I was with the carolers earlier. I'm very sorry to intrude at such a late hour." He got his courage up and began looking at me. "As we continued around to other houses in the neighborhood, I couldn't stop thinking about you. It was more than you being an attractive woman. There seemed to be something about you, something that is different."

If he only knew I thought. I remained silent.

"Anyway, I was wondering", he paused, seemed unsure of his next step, "never mind, I just wanted to say that. Thanks for your time." and he turned to walk away.

It had started to snow and the ground was beginning to get a blanket of white. The wind had picked up and I felt a deep chill as I stood in the doorway. "Wait," I blurted out. And with that one word I set a chain of events in motion I never planned. "Would you like to come in for some coffee? Warm up a little?"

"Thanks but I didn't stop by to impose on you," he said.

"No, please, come in. It's not often I have such a handsome admirer." Or any admirer I thought. He was handsome. I guessed mid-20's to 30 years old. He had sandy-colored hair and the nicest hazel eyes. All bundled up, it was difficult to tell what his body looked like but my imagination filled in the details.

He came in and I shut the door. "Let me take your coat." He stuffed his gloves in his pockets, took off his scarf and coat, and then handed them to me. I laid them across a chair that was sitting near the door. He was wearing a navy sweater vest over a plaid shirt. Khaki pants completed the look. He seemed to care about the way he looked or maybe it was just for his girlfriend. And it appeared there might be a slim and fit body underneath the clothes. Wait. Since when was I so interested in a man's body type?

"Before we proceed, I need to ask you something. You aren't a serial rapist that is going to make me do unspeakable things and than kill me with one of my kitchen knives are you?"

He was totally taken back by the question. "What? Uh, I mean no."

"Good. Would you like that coffee I offered?" I turned and led him into the kitchen as I spoke, "I believe I have some Kahlua I could add."

"That sounds good, especially the Kahlua," he said softly.

As I went about getting everything together, I asked, "So how is it you are affiliated with the group tonight?"

"My friend volunteers there. She really likes helping the women out. I just thought it sounded like something different to do."

"The things we do for a girlfriend," I said, fishing, as I got out the Kahlua.

"She's not really my girlfriend. Well, she sort of is. I guess you could say we are friends with benefits. We do a lot of things together, and sometimes it includes sex and sometimes not. I think neither of us is willing to take the next step, you know commit."

I went to the living room to retrieve my wine glass. The coffee was ready and I put a good size shot of Kahula in. I sat the cup down in front of him. He looked rather sullen so I decided to move on from that subject. "Tell me; are you in the habit of knocking on strangers doors late at night? Hitting on women almost twice your age?"

"No, I can't say I ever have," he said. "In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have. I'm surprised you even answered the door. I just didn't want the moment to turn into a missed opportunity. I thought I saw you looking at me more that just casually, but maybe that was just me hoping you were." He paused. "And I'm not hitting on you," he said defensively. "Well maybe I am but I really just wanted the chance to get to know you."

"That's okay," I said with a smile. "I'm just giving you a hard time. It is nice to have someone, especially a handsome, young man, interested in me. This old broad can use the attention. My name is Janet."

He smiled back. The awkwardness was broken. He told me his name was Zac. He worked for a company that sold electrical parts and supplies. He was in charge of their computer systems. It kept him very busy but he enjoyed it.

He than returned to an earlier comment I had made. "You know you aren't an old broad," he said. "I'm actually attracted to more mature women. I think that might be one problem between Jennifer and me, we are too close in age"

"So is this attraction just from afar or have you actually had some experience?

"Well, I did do my mom's best friend."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, how romantic you make it sound."

"Well I wouldn't say it was romantic but it sure was hot. Her husband travels for work and she is alone a lot. I was returning a dish my mom borrowed; she seemed lonely, we started talking, and one thing lead to another."

"Kind of like this?" I have to admit, now that the subject of sex had come up, I was getting a little excited. It was a small tingle that I hadn't felt for awhile. But I didn't think this would go anywhere. I was sure of that.

"That's not why I came here," he said and then changed the subject. "So tell me about you. This is a very nice condo. Do you live here alone? I noticed a picture of a woman, about your age, in the hallway. Is that your roommate or just a special friend?"

I knew we were going to get to this sooner or later. It was time to put the cards on the table. "When you first arrived this evening, you mention there was something different about me. You are very observant except you would probably never guess what it is. I'm a pre-op transsexual. Basically what that means is I'm on a journey from being a man to becoming a woman. That picture is my ex-wife. She was supportive and helped me a lot but in the end she wanted the man she married."

"Pre-op?"

"It's short for pre-operation. The big one where they change what God gave you."

There was a puzzled look on his face. "So that means you still have a," he didn't seem to want to finish the sentence.

"The word is penis and yes I do. Except with the hormones I take, it doesn't do much any more except get in the way. So now you know about me, how truly different I am. I'm guessing you will probably want to be going?"

He looked straight at me and said, "Well it is a big surprise but if it's all right, I would like to stay a little longer. I also would like more Kahlua, but not in coffee, just with some ice." He smiled. I got up to get the drink.

I brought his drink back. I had refilled my wine glass. "Why don't we adjourn to the living room? I think the couch would be more comfortable than these bar stools."

We got to the couch and there were cards and envelopes all around. I began picking everything up, excusing the mess, explaining my earlier endeavor. We settled down and Zac began with the questions. He wanted to know how it all began, what made me decide to do this now, why not sooner, and on and on. "I hope you don't mind all the questions? I have heard of people changing sexes but never actually met anyone who was," he said and then added, "It seems kind of drastic."

"That's fine. I'm glad you are open-minded enough to ask questions. Many people aren't. It is actually more about changing gender. That is the persona you identify with, male or female, versus what your genitals say," I explained. "And it is a major step, one that isn't taken lightly. There is a lot of therapy before you can even begin. I'm still unsure of the final step, the operation. At my age, I may just settle for what I am now."

Then he came out with the question I had been expecting. "Okay so you view yourself as a female, what about boyfriend or girlfriend? Do you have either? Do you have a preference?"

"You do ask a lot of questions. Currently I have neither. To be honest with you, I'm on the fence with that one. I'm really trying to figure out my sexuality. I like a woman's company but mostly as a sister or best friend, someone to share experiences, shop with, or just hang out. But I always did enjoy making love to my wife. I don't know I was ever that attracted to men. But now as a woman, I find myself much more interested. I have been on a few dates with men I met on an alternative dating site. It was a little awkward but there were some good moments. I went out on what appeared as a normal date, had some dinner and conversation. It was nice having someone at least appear to be interested in me. I think they were just there to see what it was like to be with a lady 'with a little extra', expecting hot sex from a hot tranny. They didn't get it and they didn't call for a second date. I don't know that I was ready for sex anyway. It isn't a top priority." But even as I said that I wondered if I really meant that. I found myself thinking of Zac in bed. Wondering what it would be like to have his young, naked body on top of me, hot wet kisses, his hard...

"Janet, are you there?" I heard him asking.

Pulled back to reality, "I guess I dazed off for a moment." I wasn't sure but it looked like his pants were a little tighter in the front.

He must have assumed I was tired. "It's getting late. I should be going so you can finish your cards or whatever you need to do before bed," he said and he moved as if to get up.

To stop him, I reached out and touched his hand. He paused and looked into my eyes. A sudden urge came over me, I leaned in close. I could sense his nervousness. My lips gently touched his lips. I kissed him softly. I pulled away slightly to judge his reaction. He didn't seem to be shocked or disgusted, so I kissed him again. As I started to pull away, he reached out and pulled me back, tightly, kissing me. His lips parted, I felt his tongue on my lips, then in my mouth. What had started gently was now more forceful, passionate. His hand slid down and began fondling my breast. We were both breathing hard, getting more excited with each kiss.

My hand came to rest on his thigh. I moved it up and I could feel his cock straining to get out. My rational self told me not to proceed but I was overcome with desire. I wanted to feel what it was like to suck on a hard dick, to know what it was like when a woman goes down on a guy. My fingers began fumbling with his belt, than the button of his pants. Damn, why did this have to be so difficult? Meanwhile, he had slipped his hand inside my sweater. He was playing with my nipple, his fingertips toying with it. It was making me crazy. I found the zipper and pulled it down. My hand slipped inside his pants and found a nice cock, hard and ready. Without saying a word, I pulled away from the kissing, stood up and got down on my knees between his legs. With one hand on each side of his pants, I started pulling them down. He helped by lifting his ass off the couch. Looking down, I was not disappointed at what I saw.

My hand firmly grasped his cock. I began stroking it, unsure of what to do next. I began to wonder if I should have resisted my lust driven urge. I started thinking back to the porn I had watched, how the women had gone about giving a blow job. I leaned in close and began licking the knob. I went around the edge and then began licking up and down the shaft. I must have been doing something right, because he began to moan softly. My tongue was all over it, even working on his balls. I took the tip in my mouth, slowly sucking on it while my hand was stroking the thick shaft. Getting a little braver, I slid my mouth down about half way. It obviously felt good because I heard, "My god, yes!" With my hand holding it steady, I began to take more with each downward stroke. He was so hard. I took my hand away and this allowed me to take more of him in. Not such a good idea because I took it in deep and gagged. Something I hadn't counted on. I continued sliding my mouth up and down his pole, just not so far. I stopped a few times and licked and kissed it but then I would go back to sucking, taking in as much as I could. The entire time, he was moaning and calling my name. It was "Yes, Janet.", "Oh my god" and other things. It wasn't long until I heard him say, "I'm going to cum." And before I could do anything, he put his hands on my head, buried his cock deep in my mouth and held it there. I felt a hot splash of cum then another and another. It just kept coming, filling my mouth with his juice. Not knowing what else to do, I instinctively swallow the big load. It wasn't what I expected. It didn't taste terrible, it was just different. When it seemed like he was finished and I slowly withdrew. Smiling inside I thought 'well, I did it'. But I was really wondering what he thought of it.

I stood up. Zac was laying with his head back, eyes closed. I sat down next to him and put my head on his shoulder. He was the first to speak, "Wow! I was not expecting that."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. To be honest, I wasn't expecting it either. It just kind of happened. But I am certainly glad it did."

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, he said, "It's getting late. As I remember, I was about to leave. I really should get going." He stood up and pulled up his pants.

I grabbed an envelope that was lying on the coffee table and wrote my phone number. "Here is my number, in case you want to get in touch with me. If not, I totally understand."

He took the envelope, folded it up and crammed it in his pocket. "Thanks. I'll give you a call. I'm glad I came back to meet you."

As we walked to the door, he seemed a little distant. I couldn't tell if he was freaked out about what had just happened or not. He hadn't really said he had liked it. I don't think there is a man who doesn't like a blow job but was he bothered that it had come from me?

He retrieved his coat and prepared to leave. As I opened the door, he leaned in and gave me a little kiss. He then turned and walked out the door, waving goodbye and saying, "Merry Christmas. Thanks for everything"

As I closed the door, I wondered if I would ever hear from him.