tagHumor & SatireSimple and Clean

Simple and Clean


The steaming bath water did little to soothe Pi's sexual ache but did a wonder on her muscles. It had been a long morning spent pleasuring others and it was fine to just relax. It was very nice because the claw-foot tub off the master bathroom was more than big enough for two, in this case she and Eddie. It was wonderful because the human was very kindly scrubbing at her sable mane while she bent forward. Her tidy nails were already free of clay and scraped along the aged porcelain of the tub's edge. They didn't make baths like this anymore that was for sure. Her demonic senses could feel undertows of past sin within worn ceramic, many a couple of many a sort had swapped fluids in this bathtub.

Low in her becoming throat the succubus thrummed as her mathematician took his sweet time massaging scalp in turn with rubbing artistic earth from her tresses. His touch was both sweet and thorough. She kneaded one of his thighs with her cute little toes, glad to have them again. Her other foot should be wedged against his sack, trying to tempt him. Instead she was using the ball of it to stroke at his side. There was something about soapy water that just brought out the Hudson and Day girl in her. Eddie had opened the window to let a cool air play against what skin was above the water line, and now and again when the breeze shifted it pricked her skin with pleased bumps. Inside she was still giggling. Eddie had tried to find something 'romantic' to listen too but his computer screen was trashed so he couldn't stream anything. He was plainly put out about that but had just fiddled around with his clock radio until he found something.

Thus they were listening to old Blue Eyes at the moment, his classy crooning made her heart flutter as much as Eddie's legs shifting against hers or the warm water lapping at the back edges of her breasts. "This is nice."

"Yeah." The college kid was a bit breathless, his tone backlit with concentration. "I think I've gotten almost all of it now."

"Thank you." Her hands slid back into the water and rewarded Eddie with a slow play of nails through the wet hair of his shins. "Time to rinse then."

"Do you want me to do it?" The question was light as his hands finally let go and were cleaned off. He wanted to tell her how good her hands felt on him, as well as ask exactly what the hell was going on. However for now Eddie just watched her head as she shook at it.

"I can manage." Her eyes smoldered behind schlaked bangs and held his for a long moment before she rose and then slid deeper into the tub. There was something calming when all you could hear was water and the rush of your own heart. Diligently she worked at rinsing her hair, taking her sweet time. The demoness could feel Eddie watching her plush lips parting as she took in short breaths, chest – buoyant in a natural way rising and falling. He was shifting in the tub as her tush caressed at his knees. It was nice to be watched, nice to be lusted after.

Still she couldn't just pose forever. Hair was slicked back as she surfaced and pulled to sitting up straight for a moment. Eyelashes fluttered while she conformed to her edge of the bathtub, shoulders lounging against the lip and arms dangling. Her lips pursed to something seductive and smug.

"What?" Eddie moved his head back lightly and blinked before casting a nervous smile to her.

She dried her lips with her pink tongue that craved his cum once more. Slim black bows arched in a pained fashion "I am wondering what you are doing all the way over there."

"Oh!" The smile broke into an easy laugh that made it honest. He held up a bar of half-used soap. It was the sort of white simple stuff that bachelor's used because it was cheap and fit the bill. Men never understood the flare of real soaps. "I was considering washing your back but you're all the way over there, Pi."

She laughed soft and throaty before realizing her cheeks were actually red. Rolling deep dark eyes she slid away from her perch and turned with a skim of breasts across the surface of the water. Then back into his arms the succubus trustingly wiggled. Her backside settled against his pelvis and she made a little huff when there was no erection to greet her. Well it hadn't been that long since she'd given him such a public handie. She didn't make cleaning her back easy as shoulders settled against his video game 'toned' muscles. After squirming just to feel his skin pulling against hers Pi made a comfortable sound. Her head tilted to rest against his shoulder and gaze settled on his face. He breathed, lifting her soft weight up and down with his chest.

"My front is dirty too, Eddie." The point was first punctuated by the beating of long lashes before she took hold of his hands and guided then to her bosom. "See?"

"Oh!" His timid laugh reverberated through her. It took a second for his hands to massage her knockers, and then a bit longer for him to remember it took soap to actually clean. Sudsing up her chest he firmly rubbed, playing with the globes of flesh instead of really cleaning. Not that Pi minded at all, in fact she started to suck at his jaw line. Her nipples grew taunt. A little sigh fluttered along his throat as he cupped under each of them with one hand and let the other fall slide and splash into the water. "Like so?"

"Yes." Pi chortled against his flesh, hands raking over his forearms in approval. "Just like that. You are a very kind man, Eddie."

"Thanks." He scooped up handfuls of bathwater and ran them over her breasts to clean them. In turn she gasped as they were warmed for a moment only to be tickled by cool wisps of air once more. "You."

"I?" Pie guided his hands down to her stomach so the poor geek could think.

He felt muscles under comfortable padding and took a moment to rub there to. This strange visitor had such a healthy body. Strange visitor? No that wasn't quite right now was it? He filled his lungs with breath and just stroked and caressed her tummy. "I totally forget what I was going to say. Um... so you are really a demon?"

"Yes." She nosed and drew moist salt from his neck with a drag of her tongue. "Yes I am, Eddie. I do have to say your very sexy cousin had the oddest reaction to the news. I really and surprised you are not either stunned with fear or calling for an exorcist. Surprised and pleased."

When she purred and wiggled against him to emphasize just how pleased she was to be in his arms like this it made Eddie smile shy. "Thanks. I... I'm actually an atheist. Well I was anyway."

"Oh?" That actually got the demoness to giggle. "I am sorry to turn that on its ear for you, Eddie. An atheist? How cute." She gave his arm a pinch.

"Gee thanks." This time his tone was wry but he didn't stop sliding his palms over her skin. In predictable fashion they returned to her tits, squeezing and kneading them. "I don't know why Abby reacted that way. I... well she's always said the family has some dark and odd history? I don't know. Do you... um... like that?"

"The dark history?" Pi sat up, pressing her barely more than a handful strongly into his hands. "Or you playing with my breasts?"

"Your breasts." He leaned forward to kiss at the back of her wet crown and gave her nipples a tug. "You seem pretty silly for a succubus."

Gasping she didn't pull from his smooth fingers. "I have been told that before. Please do not stop."

"I won't" The nerd rolled those hard bits of flesh in between two fingers each. The pecks moved to her ears. "I've never taken a bath with a woman before."

"Mm. I cannot really say the same." Pi's laugh returned to throaty and mature.

"I... yeah." Flashes of watching her fingering and eating Abby slithered through his mind's eye. "So can we talk about you know? I mean stuff? I'm all confused."

Swallowing hard Pi curled hands over his to stop wanton motions before moving them back to her stomach. "You seem to know what you are doing to me, Eddie. However, I am sure that you have questions and it is best that I am not distracted as I answer."

"Sure." He nuzzled the back of her head before leaning back. His hands slid from the trap of hers and once he fumbled about making her giggle in a ticklish manner the soap was found. On her back he started to work, marveling at the shape of her spine, the fine curve of her shoulder blades. Her pale skin was without flaw to the point where it seemed odd to be cleaning it at all. "So."

"So?" Letting her eyes close Pi settled hands idly in the water just relishing the feeling and these quiet moments of relaxation. It had been too long since anyone had spoiled her like this; especially without having to bewitch him first. Eddie she had a feeling was more than a sexy nerd.

"Why me?" He lazily drew circles along her ribs before setting the soap aside and rinsing with handfuls of water once more. "I mean. Yeah, why me?"

"Fair enough." After arching first and foremost the demoness puffed out a small sigh before lounging against his chest once more. It was an entirely too comfortable spot. "You and I are going to change the world, Eddie. I know that sounds like a tall order but a man with such a sexy brain like yours realizes the world runs on math, right?"

"Runs on math?" Eddie wrapped his arms around her and found he was already fond of having her there. Last night into this morning had been damn odd. It felt like a good sort of odd, so far. "I guess so? I mean math is how we express what we know about the universe."

"Mmm-mmm." She shook her head in response. Soaked hair pulled across his flesh. "Math shapes the universe, Eddie. Rather how mankind perceives math. The guy in the big chair after all made Earth and all around it to serve those crafted in His image. So when all of you use a new sort of math to define in, well it gets redefined to fit the new view."

"Oh." After a blink Eddie's chin settled against the top of her dark mane. "Sort of like quantum physics? Things are only there because you look for them?"

Pi purred at his description of it, even if it was a simplification of a complex subject. "Sort of. Think of as consensual reality. Until math proved that the Earth revolved around the Sun who can say it was not the other way around? It actually was, you know."

"You're fucking with me." His brows furrowed together while his feet slid against hers. They were so small and cute!

"Not yet." Clucking her tongue Pi tickled fingers along one of his thighs. "No I am serious. Before Newton? Folks could fly without needing vehicles. Every single time you lovely little humans declare some sort of mathematic law? Everything shifts to match that idea."

Eddie closed his eyes to try and work through what she was saying. "Because God made the earth ours?"

"Can we not use the G-word?" The succubus cringed, setting a finger to his lips behind her before he could apologize. "But yes, that is pretty much the concept of it."

"Wow." Cracking his neck Eddie blew out a long breath. "So, why would the devil want to help with math then?"

"Mmm." Pi shifted out from under his chin so she could adjust and lay down her head against the round of his shoulder. Dark eyes settled on his face. "What happens as man defines the universe? The earth is no longer made in seven days but rather billions of years. The universe is more than just the planets you can see and was made by an intense gravity well exploding in a big bang, not His will."

In turn his mouth made an O shape.

"You said yourself that you were an atheist, Eddie." Her eyes fluttered sweet as plush lips grew. "The stricter man defines the world the further it moves from the divine, and the infernal. Sure it makes it harder for us to cause trouble, which is honestly probably for the best. However in the end with His little ant farm a tad bit more out of reach every few decades? Let us just say the thrill it gives my boss is well worth the trade off."

"Lucifer?" He reached out to trace under her eye carefully.

"Can we not use the L-word?" Pi smiled in repost.

"Luxembourg?" Eddie's laugh poured through her body again and she joined in. Water splashed and shifted as she sat up. A kiss was stolen as Pi fanned fingers against the side of one of his cheeks. A second as given freely and lingered into a third.

"No not Luxembourg." As hell's librarian spoke her full lips caressed his masculine ones before dipping to press to the divot in chin. "Silly goose."

"So you're here to help me advance math into its next great leap?" Eddie used his strong hands to turn and press her to him without resistance on Pi's part. Down they wandered to stroke the small of her back then up. "Am I going to hell?"

"I do not think so." She pecked at his lower lip, teeth unsheathed to tug. "Though I would not mind if you did, I think."

"Burning in hellfire doesn't sound that fun." He managed to murmur against her now probing tongue. Lightly he tasted it with his own before it retreated back into his mouth.

"It is not." Pi's strong nose brushed against his and she drew in his errant wisps of breath in. Shifting the lovely monster sighed content. Her arms settled across his shoulders, then hitched at the elbow so she could massage his brown mop. "It is not all hellfire though you know. There are lakes of acid and plains of freezing cold too."

The way Pi spoke about her home was far too similar to a travel channel narrator. It made Eddie chuckle. "Great, just great."

"Oh for fuck's sake." A scratchy voice interrupted their conversation. "Why couldn't I walk in on you two playing hide the salami instead of this... this mushy shit."

"Aphex!" Blindly Pi snatched a washcloth and zinged it in the direction she thought the imp was.

The little demon slipped out of the way before blowing her a raspberry with desiccated tongue. His eyes, vestigial and otherwise, rolled. "Missed me there sweet cheeks. I mean seriously you're the sappiest succubus ever!"

"Hush!" She responding with her own roll of eyes and sloshed away from her mathematician. Against the side lip she leaned on her forearms. It wasn't long before becoming chin was set on them and she bent and arched her bare back in just the right way to catch Eddie's attention. With rivulets of water running off pale skin and the top of rump broke from the surface.

His gaze wasn't on her but riveted instead to the imp. Aphex tilted his head to one side and struck a pose before flexing a bit, making sure the mortal got a good luck at his scaled and burnt little body. Wings twitched before folding into place.

Out popped a needling smile from between Aphex's chapped lips. "Hey there. Stop staring wouldja? Trust me there's a lot worse you could see. I guess you're eh... Eddie right?"

Stunned the mortal nodded before trying to get his throat to work. When the imp took to wing and bobbled with all the grace of a bumble bee to sit on the tub's edge it didn't help. Apehx's little claws dipped into the water, around them it boiled.

"Eddie." Pi reassured her assistant while reaching out to scrape a nail along the shell of stunted ear. "Did you get everything then?"

"Yep." Aphex twisted to gesture into the room with one tiny talon. "It's still all in boxes and bags. I figured you two could do the rest. I need a nap."

"That's a demon." While he stammered Eddie tried to move but his body just wouldn't respond. "Holy shit."

The imp shook his head and gave the mistress a pleading look. "See this is what you get for kissing him stupid." Sunken eyes sparked as they moved back to Eddie and that sharp smirk returned. "You give sugartits here the big O yet?"

"Lakes of Fire, Aph!" Pi made a humph and gave the imp a slap on his shoulder. "Hush! I am fine, really."

"Fine? Fine?" Aphex waved her off with a swipe of claw before rubbing at his abused shoulder. Eddie was given a see what I have to put up with sort of look. "She's a violent one, you gotta look out for it. But really, come on man, there's a fertile field there just waiting to get plowed."

Highlighted with a flush Eddie just rubbed his face. "Oh geez."

"Oh gizz works – hey!" The imp tried to fly away as Pi snatched him and then dunked him into the water. The imp flailed and sputtered with all of his strength but little avail. The water hissed and bubbled wildly around him.

"Sorry!" Pi cast the brightest beam she could to the geek. "He is a bit of a pain but he is harmless."

"You should probably uh, not drown him." Not being a heartless creature he urged her arms to lift Aphex from the water. Sheepishly she followed his directions. The imp hacked and coughed before giving Pi's forearm a good natured slap with his spade like tail.

"See what I mean!" Recessed gaze slipped Eddie's way and Aphex wiggled in Pi's tender hands until he was let go. He didn't fall into the water but instead hovered along before he sat on the mortal's shoulder with a plop of small ass. Wings were flexed to shake off water before settling. Small and boney elbow was used to nudge Eddie's strong cheek. "It's okay though. She's got a good heart. Seriously though, get up in it."

With a laugh of discomfort the demoness slid through the water back over to her side of the tub. "Edward, this is Aphex, my right hand man. Aphex, this is Edward Vance." She gestured between the two of them in elegant motion, liquid pouring from her arm. "Mm I sent out Aphex out this morning to pick up some clothes and stuff for me."

"A lot of clothes. You need any yourself there, Eddie? Just let me know." The imp adjusted and got comfortable.

"Um. Okay." The poor human was at a loss of how exactly to deal with this. "I will. It's nice to meet you, Aphex. You're not going to eat my soul are you?"

When Eddie offered his hand to shake in an awkward angle Aphex used both of his to do so. The man had a pretty comfortable shoulder. "Nope. I'm just here to help you two out in a lot of ways. I don't clean." The imp added with deep emphasis. "So don't ask. You can clean up all those cans and tighty not so whities yourself alright? I did get you a new monitor like Pi here asked along with a few... other things."

Eddie relaxed, having Aph there wasn't that much different than having a cat perching. Save of course that the wee demon was talking and coarse instead of soft. Blowing out a long breath he focused his eyes on Pi. He wasn't about to pet the imp in the same way. It would be a bit too strange. "Thanks, man. Um. If I can help you with anything just let me know? Wow this is weird."

"You'll get used to it." Off of the mathematician's shoulder Aphex floated over in Pi's direction only to hiss as she flicked water good naturedly at him. Instead his course took him over to sit atop closed toilet. "Hey you got manners at least, that's a good thing. So... what are we talking about?"

"Hell. What I am doing here, the usual." Pi blew her attaché a full smacking kiss before looking back to Eddie. "So any other questions?"

Realizing he was studying the smaller infernal who had an odd way of being put together that was somewhere between insect and reptile, that was then lit on fire, Eddie looked back over to Pi. Her form was of course infinitely more pleasing. "I'm sure I do have some. So Aphex here is an?"

"Imp!" Aphex answered for her after raising his hand. He and Pi shared a chuckle.

What followed was a long suffering look as Pi sighed. "He's fun to have around and does not chew on the soft tissue of my partners."

"Most of the time." Aphex chirped.

"Most of the time." Exasperated the demoness laughed. "Anyway, besides being a riot he is good at acquiring stuff I need. It is not like succubae get direct deposit."

"At least not when Eddie boy here is involved." The quip came complete with a crude motion.

"... You remind me of my school friends." Eddie had to admit with a light chuckle. It was clear Aphex was a joker, a very rude joker. "So what do you eat, Aphex?"

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byZackOShea© 6 comments/ 7065 views/ 5 favorites

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