Singing in Ethiopia

"It's a foot-massage!" Aster explains; I figured that out myself...

"You see the woman? She is very, very proud to do this for you - I think they have been fighting for this. That woman at the back there, I think she is most jealous. They see it as a big honor!"

I'm honored too... I think...

It's a bit awkward, with all those people looking at me as if I'm some kind of... I don't know; important. But I have to admit, the massage feels really good... I tell Aster, she says something to the woman, who looks up at me and smiles to me. She quickly looks back to the others, and then continues what she was doing before.

She washes and rubs my feet, then she rubs the leaves on them, washes them again, and finally my feet are dried. I thank her profoundly.

Aster is next, and then Mareshet.

"Where is Alem-Tsehay?" I ask. "The girl who took her - is that her mother?"

"Her father lives over there." Aster points to some mountain tops far away. "He will come tomorrow."

"And the girl?" I ask again, "Is that her mother?"

"Her mother died..." Aster then says. "... when giving birth..."

Oh...

I didn't know...

"Are you shocked?" Aster asks; of course I am...

"So, the girl..." I eventually manage to say, "... is that her sister?"

"Alem-Tsehay is the first child."

I don't know what to say...

"And now, her father..." my mind is totally going overdrive... "Is her father going to take care of her? How?"

"I don't know..." Aster admits. "Maybe this family will take care of her - I don't think her father can do that, but also I don't think he has money enough at this moment to marry again..."

While I'm processing this new information, Aster calls, Alem-Tsehay is brought to her, and she places her on my lap... Suddenly my eyes are opened; I think I finally see what she is doing!!

Someone is calling, and Aster takes my hand and leads me inside the new hut. Both old men and one of the older boys follow. It's dark, and certainly large!

The boy says something to Aster, and she pulls my arm. "Look! They have electricity!"

The boy wraps an electric wire around one of the poles of a battery, and a light starts shining. I smile, and he seems proud...

It is still dark, but I can recognize a bed, covered with several blankets.

"They even gave us the mattress!" Aster marvels. "They are really taking extra care of you!"

"It is very beautiful!" I admit. Aster quickly translates, and even in the dim light, I can see the men being proud.

We are told to sit down on the bed - Aster seems totally delighted about the mattress but it is nothing but some skins, sewn together, and stuffed with... I don't know. Probably hay or straw; it could as well be rock...

Aster asks if I want someone to take Alem-Tsehay from me, but I don't. I'll keep hold on her!

Aster tells me to watch, and points through the door opening. There is a woman standing on the edge of the plateau, and she is shouting. She makes long, slow sounds; really, really loud!!

"She is calling to Alem-Tsehay's father. I think to tell him that we have arrived. No telephone here..."

A girl brings a can with water to wash our hands. Then, someone brings in a plate with injerra and roasted meat; it is placed on the bed, between Aster and me. Mareshet comes in and takes place on a stool opposite to us, and Aster tells me to start eating. Now I allow someone to take Alem-Tsehay from me, and together the three of us eat, being watched by the others. I'm famished; we haven't eaten since breakfast, so I really do justice to this meal.

Several times, Aster looks at me, and grins. Also Mareshet seems happy. I'm happy too...

Also here, food is followed by coffee. The two old men and three of the older boys join us. Coffee is made by a small girl; fourteen years old?

Aster asks her something, and the girl shyly answers. More questions, but her answers remain short. Then Aster tells me that the girl is about to get married.

"She!!?" I am surprised; it is just a child.

"Yes. One of the neighbors - maybe he is also coming tomorrow."

Then Aster continues. "You saw the woman in the back, while your feet got massaged?"

I nod. "The one you told me who was most jealous?"

"Uh-huh... The one with the very short hair. She is the wife of the man on the left; the one without the cloth wrapped around his head. Sometimes it really is like a comedy here. Sometime ago, her husband found her with the other man - his brother. You know...

"He was really angry - I think he pulled out most of her hair, and now she has to shave it as punishment..."

"They are brothers?" I say, surprised.

"Yes. Those two and my father, they were all brothers."

"They are brothers, but one slept with the wife of the other!" I look at them, surprised. They look old; and especially the one with the cloth - the one who committed adultery - looks very solemn...

Aster nods.

"And he is not angry with his brother?"

"Of course he is - I think his brother had to pay a lot! But they have to live together..."

Wow... Not sure if I could do that.

Then, I realize something else. "So this is family of your father. But Alem-Tsehay is family of your mother..."

Aster carefully nods. "Yes... I don't think they want to take care of her..."

I think my mind is set...

"Aster?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Do you want to take care of Alem-Tsehay?"

"No!"

That surprises me. "Why not?"

"Because you don't want a baby."

Oh my... Things are starting to make sense now... "If I do want a baby; would you take care of Alem-Tsehay then?"

"Of course! She is family! But you don't want it..."

Think quick, Chris... Consider very carefully what you are about to say, but don't wait...

I take a deep breath - Aster watches me closely. I...

I look around again - I look at the children and then at Alem-Tsehay. Of course, she could grow up here - all those children will eventually grow up... hopefully... But...

This is not her family. What would happen if they don't accept her, or only for a short time... Would she end up in Addis Abeba, shoe-polishing, selling sweets or cigarettes; would she have to live on stolen fruit, be forced to sell her body? Even the last option isn't unthinkable.

I... we can give her a real future...

"I didn't want you to become pregnant..." I start. "I want to be with you when you are pregnant and when you deliver our child. I want that to happen in my country, because I want to be sure nothing is stopping you from coming with me. I want you to have all the care I can give you, so nothing goes wrong..." I'm not going to cry!!

"But Alem-Tsehay is here already" I continue. "We won't have to worry about her delivery anymore." That's an awful thought, knowing her mother died while giving birth; sitting close to Mareshet...

"If we can arrange with the father that he fills in some forms telling that he asks you to take care of the baby..."

"I can say she is my baby!" Aster says quickly, but then draws back. "But you said you only wanted children after years..."

"This is different; someone has to take care of her..." all of a sudden, I want this to happen! I want her; I want Alem-Tsehay as my child... I know I need to think this over - I shouldn't say this now, but...

"You know I'm already in love with Alem-Tsehay, and..." And now there is no way of holding back the tears ...

Aster pulls me tight; her arms around my waist, my head in her neck. Her hand is softly caressing my back... I have to take a grip on myself - what would all those people around us think of me...

Mareshet stands up and talks to Aster, probably asking what's happening; Aster explains, whispering so the others don't hear. Then Mareshet sits down close to the other side of me, and also starts rubbing my shoulders...

I take a deep breath and quickly wipe the tears away.

While we drink coffee, children keep peeking through the door, curiously. For most of the time, the men pretend they don't see them, but when they stay too long, or make sound, they are sent away.

When coffee is finished, the men leave. The girl that had made the coffee cleans up, and also goes away. Now it's only the three of us. Aster and Mareshet talk for a short while, but then Aster says Mareshet goes to sleep; she walks out of the hut too. Apparently, this place is just for Aster and me...

"Where is Alem-Tsehay!" I ask. I've made up my mind, and she is also my responsibility now.

"You want her here?" Aster asks, and I can see it makes her happy.

"Of course!" I reply.

Aster leaves, to come back with a sleeping Alem-Tsehay. She puts her on the bed, and then asks me if I need to pee. She takes me outside.

"Peeing," she explains, "you can do almost everywhere. But if you need to do more, then you can go there," and she points to a small shed at the very end of the plateau. Good to know.

I pee and we go back inside. Aster securely closes the door behind us.

"Do you..." she starts hesitantly, and looks shyly to the ground... "Do you have condoms...?"

I can't help but smile. "Do you want to have sex tonight?"

"Yes!!"

If I still had any doubts about her feelings to me, than it's all gone now...

Fortunately, the box with condoms is one of the very few things I brought in my rucksack. I manage to find it, and take the box out. Then I undress.

Aster is already waiting for me; looking at me while I'm undressing, lying under the blankets. I didn't see her put on her night gown, so...

I put on the condom - already I'm at 'full strength'...

I disconnect the wire from the battery to turn off the light, and also slip under the blankets. Alem-Tsehay is on the other side of Aster.

I softy stroke Aster's body - she is fully naked. She shivers.

"I love you, honey!" she says, and her voice wavers.

I wrap my arms around her, pull us tight, and tell her: "I love you too!" Her body shocks; I think she's crying.

I carefully roll myself on top of her - careful not to hurt her, but also careful for Alem-Tsehay of course. I straddle her, and tenderly kiss her lips. Yes, she is crying.

I stroke her face, her hair, and I tell her again that I love her. "You are the most beautiful girl I know, and I'm so happy you want to marry me! When I'm back, I will immediately start organizing everything. I want you and Alem-Tsehay to come as quickly as possible. I have no doubts about us - do you?"

"No..." Aster sniffs, "I only want to be with you, no matter where we are. I love you; I love you since the first moment I saw you, and I know you will be a good husband. But do you really want to take care of Alem-Tsehay too? What will your parents think..."

"I want the two of you; I am absolutely sure, and I don't care what anyone else thinks about that. We will talk about it tomorrow, okay? Now let's go to sleep..."

"No! Not sleep!" Aster seems to panic! "I want you! I want you now - don't you want me!?"

"Of course I want you - there is nothing I want more!" I kiss her, and then slide into her. Easily...

We are both tired, so we don't fool around. We softly make love - careful not to wake Alem-Tsehay; careful not to make the others know what's happening in here. We are both ready - neither of us needs much stimulation, and when the soft whines tell me Aster is close, I let go, and together we reach the skies.

When I rummage to find my boxers to clean up a bit, the dog starts barking. In the distance, I hear some strange sound: 'wwwwoukk; wwwwoukk'. It sounds like... - I don't know. It certainly is an animal; I can't believe it's a bird, and when I ask Aster, she tells me it is a hyena. The dog will keep them away, but nevertheless, I need to be careful if I have to go out at night...

"I'll be safely with you!" I say, and snuggle up against her. Aster has put on her night gown over her naked body, but the feeling of her soft breasts under the thin fabric still makes me feel warm inside. Despite all the strange sounds - dogs, hyenas, cicadas and other animals - I soon fall asleep. Two times, our baby wakes us up...

***

I wake up early next morning - I'm not the first; I can hear people rummaging outside, but it is just after dawn. I slept okay, but now my body hurts. The mattress was horrible; hard, and too short... but if this is supposed to be the best they have, then I wonder how Mareshet slept last night...

Aster is also awake. I get dressed, and then she calls something to outside. A girl brings a can with water, and Aster takes me to a side of the area to wash myself.

When I'm done, Aster introduces me to a shy, young man - Tariku; Alem-Tsehay's father...

First, we hesitantly shake hands, but Aster says something to him and then we embrace and hug each other. We let go, and he looks to the ground again.

"Has he seen Alem-Tsehay already?" I ask Aster, and she answers negatively. "Maybe you can get her - she is still on the bed!"

I take Alem-Tsehay outside, and I can see the man brightening up. I'm sure he loves her too. However, when I ask Aster if I should give him the baby, she shakes her head. She takes Alem-Tsehay from my hands and puts her on her back. These days, she's always wearing that cloth she's using to hold Alem-Tsehay...

Tariku points out to a sheep; "He brought it for us!" Aster says, and I wonder if I should thank him. Aster doesn't, so I follow her example...

The sheep is held by two of the older boys. One is prodding and pinching it, and calls something to us - I think he is praising the sheep. Then he seems to focus on me. He asks something, and Aster starts laughing.

"Do you want to slaughter the sheep, he asks!" she says, and I shake my head. I think there are others who can do that much better than me.

It seems they weren't really expecting me to do that - one of the boys brings out a large knife, the two of them bring the sheep on its knees, an then, with a swift movement, I think the throat of the sheep is slit.

A small boy comes with a bowl, to collect the blood. The sheep is still struggling, and the boys seem to have problems keeping it in place. However, after a while, the struggling gets less, and finally the animal drops.

It all goes so quick - I don't even have time to think whether I want to see this or not. I don't want, but my eyes are fixed...

A rope is attached to the legs, and it is hung, up-side-down, in a tree.

Skillful and quick, the two boys start skinning the animal. Transfixed, I watch. Now that the poor creature is death, it's not so horrible anymore. The struggling at the end of its life; that was the worst; now it's only flesh hanging down.

I think Aster is watching my reactions, and eventually she asks if I want to keep watching or if I'm ready for breakfast. I'm ready for breakfast...

We go back to our hut and get bread and a large plate filled with honey. Their own honey, Aster informs. At the other side of the plateau, there are several bee-hives; I might have a look at them later this day.

Aster spreads thick layers of honey on the bread. We eat, and then the coffee ceremony material is brought in. Mareshet enters, the two old men - their uncles - and Tariku walk inside.

Aster looks at me. "Are you sure about it? About Alem-Tsehay, I mean...?"

So, this is the moment of truth? Is it that easy, that quick??

"Of course!" I tell her. "I'm absolutely sure." And it's true - there is not a single bit of doubt in my mind. I want to take care of Alem-Tsehay. But it's not only about me...

"But what about her father?" I ask Aster. "She will be far away, and I don't think he will see much of her again..."

"Of course he is okay!" Aster replies, as if that's a stupid question. "His daughter is offered a big chance - you can give her so much more than he! He would be really egoistic if he wouldn't be happy for her." Of course, she's right, except for one thing...

"WE are giving Alem-Tsehay this big chance - you and me together! Do you want that too?"

Aster squeezes my hand.

We, Aster, Mareshet and I, are sitting on the bed, the others sit on mats on the floor. We all get a piece of bread; Tariku is eating with open mouth, champing, as if it's a sign of appreciation... Another thing I should ask Aster about...

We get to smell the roasted coffee beans, the girl calls out of the door and hands over the beans to someone else. A bit later the powder is returned.

The men talk a bit, Mareshet is holding Alem-Tsehay, giving her breast, and Aster holds my hand.

The girl burns some incense, filling the room with the thick, sweet, white smoke.

Finally, the coffee is ready - to me, it really feels like something is about to happen, and I don't want to wait any longer. I hope that we will get there after the first coffee; I want to be over with it...

I drink my coffee, and compliment the girl. The men look approvingly, and also compliment the girl for the coffee.

To me, the girl seems absolutely stoic, but Aster whispers in my ear that she is radiating with pride, that the ferengi was the first to compliment her...

After the cups are collected, one of the uncles - the adulterer; I now know his name is Abebe - starts talking to all of us; it seems like he's giving some kind of speech, which goes on and on. I look at Aster, and she whispers in my ear: "Blah, blah, blah..." It takes a lot of effort not to laugh...

However, Aster patiently waits until he is finished. It seems like Tariku is also about to say something, but now, Aster quickly intervenes. She decisively speaks, and all eyes are on me; even the girl making coffee looks in my direction.

Aster keeps it short, and then Abebe starts making questions. First, Aster answers, but Abebe points in my direction - the questions are meant for me.

"Abebe wants to know if you can take care of Alem-Tsehay." Aster says. And I reply "I do!", as if it is for a wedding, while looking at Tariku.

It doesn't need translation, and Abebe talks again. Aster sighs, and says quickly: "And he wants to know if she will get a Christian upbringing."

That will be Aster's input... but I don't hesitate and say "she will!"; looking at Tariku again.

The next question, 'Will you feed her and make her go to school' is a no-brainer, and so is his question if I'll let her see a doctor if necessary.

Aster refuses to translate his next question, and also Tariku seems offended. However, he repeats the question, and then also his brother, Bisrat, seems to indicate to him to leave it.

Apparently, he does need a last question; he seems to think for a while, and then asks the question 'Will you keep her properly clothed.' Again, the answer is simple. "Yes, of course!"

Abebe nods, and they all seem relieved.

The next coffee is ready, and the three men continue talking with each other.

I turn to Aster. "They agree?"

"Yes they do." She smiles. "However, from now on, you'll have to tell them we are married already..."

That's no problem for me. "I like that idea... But is that why you got angry?"

Aster's face smile fades again. "No..."

Mareshet gives Alem-Tsehay to me - I think she knows what I'd asked Aster, and she speaks to her.

Finally Aster gives in. "He said that you will have to pay all three of them one thousand birr..."

"Because we want to take care of Alem-Tsehay?" Both Aster and Mareshet nod. I can understand their anger... It's not the money - at least, not for me - but the idea to pay for taking care of Alem-Tsehay, and not only to Tariku, but also to him, sounds wrong; even to me. I'm not buying that child...

"Aster?"

"Hmmm?"

"You know this wasn't Tariku's idea, right?"

"No, of course not - also not Bisrat!"

"Do you know Tariku? Is he a good person?"

Aster hesitates. Then she turns to Mareshet and they start whispering. Finally she gets back to me. "You want to give him the money? We think he is a good person."