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Click hereHe continued. "I promise it would be worthwhile financially... I can start by offering you one hundred thousand and then regular bonuses, full room and board with your own suite of rooms, full medical and some business opportunities once you get situated.
It can be a lot of fun... or not; you know how it is."
He gave me a huge silly grin, which I found both funny and endearing.
"What do you say? Is that acceptable? Would you like to come to Los Angeles with me and start a new life? Would you take a chance with me?"
A hundred thousand a year! ...and he's worried if security, flying around the world and some lousy hours would make me turn this offer down.
He really did sound like he's proposing marriage! And my answer had to be...
"Yes, Jim... that would most acceptable. I never expected to make a hundred thousand dollars in my lifetime, let alone a year!"
A look of embarrassment crossed his face. "I'm sorry; I didn't explain myself very well, sometimes my mind is moving faster than my mouth. The Martins told me that I assume people already know what I'm talking about.
That's why I desperately need a very intelligent executive assistant, someone like you to keep me on track. The hundred thousand, that's for the month."
"Oh, my..." There was a silence on the table, I couldn't get my head around it for a moment. "Oh, Jim, thank you... I don't know what to say."
"I'll take that as a 'yes', then."
"Oh, God, yes."
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 4 years agoAnd enjoying the story. But the concept of “easy riches” is a too-common ingredient of stories I’m reading on this site. It just seems too magical to even seem plausible. J.
SleeperyJimover 5 years agoI'm enjoying the story. It's well-written and has definite promise, with a strong-ish heroine and a nice guy hero (at least so far.)
May I offer one small comment. You so nearly have the punctuation correct for continuous speech that is broken up into paragraphs. You correctly leave off the closing inverted commas at the end of each paragraph except the final one in the sequence - and kudos to you for that. But you need to start each speech paragraph with inverted commas. That's how it's done. I kept getting lost, because a paragraph with no inverted commas at all is descriptive and not speech.
Looking forward to the rest of this series.
rightbankover 9 years agoand come to work for me for an outlandish amount of money.
fanfareover 11 years agoFor this kind of money, I'd be willing to learn to give great blowjobs!
DeepBlueCover 12 years agoGood start but the developments in Ch. 2 seem a bit out there. Offering $1.2M/yr to an untried, unproven, inexperienced executive assistant is a bit of a reach. But I'm interested enough to read further at this point.
My big complaint [and it's a minor one] is in grammar: I have trouble following the dialog without correct use of quotation marks. When one person continues dialog/monologue into a new paragraph, the paragraph should start with quote marks. The last paragraph in that character's speech should close with quote marks clearly denoting where he stops talking.
"Ships and Boats...
Yep, Naval surface vessels are ships and submarines are boats."
In naval terminology, a boat is transported by and launched from a ship. Early submarines were just that, vessels launched from and tended by a 'mother vessel'.
Traditionally, the term 'boat' has lingered though modern submarines are clearly not 'boats' any longer. Two centuries of tradition totally unhampered by progress.
